A Simple Survey - Volume 01 - A Simple Survey

by Kazuma Kamachi

  “That really was a weird survey,” said Harumi.

  “It gave me an indescribably strange feeling. I was hoping to discuss it before that feeling disappeared so we could try to get a clearer grasp of things. Although the discussion we had in the auditorium just made things all the more confusing.”

  “That is another reason why a new point of view is important.”

  “Kozue has started praising you needlessly again, so be on your guard, boy.”

  “By the way,” said Harumi as she stared up at Anzai’s face. “What order did you give those short films on your survey?”

  (It is time to determine who you are most compatible with. In the following chart, please honestly use the final rankings you gave each story .)

  ← = No ↓ = Yes Begin

  ↓

  Aisu ← Did you prefer 15 to 12? ← Did you prefer 05 to 17? ← Did you prefer 11 to 09? ← Did you prefer 24 to 06?

  ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓

  Harumi ← Did you prefer 01 to 03? ← Did you prefer 04 to 02? ← Did you prefer 20 to 13? ← Did you prefer 07 to 18?

  ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓

  Hotaru ← Did you prefer 22 to 15? ← Did you prefer 21 to 07? ← Did you prefer 08 to 01? ← Did you prefer 10 to 20?

  ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓

  Kozue ← Did you prefer 23 to 19? ← Did you prefer 14 to 16? ← Did you prefer 02 to 23? ← Did you prefer 13 to 04?

  ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓

  Aisu Harumi Hotaru Kozue

  Continue on to the proper section based on the above chart.

  Harumi's Case (Chase the mystery of the other absurdity that supported this absurdity!)

  Hotaru's Case (How did that professor have those short films made?)

  Kozue's Case (What are these absurdities approaching one after another? Can you accept the answer?)

  Aisu's Case (That professor’s questions are not over yet. What will the next question be!?)

  Harumi’s Case

  Part 1

  “Hehh. Your results were similar to mine,” said Harumi with her eyes wide.

  They spoke as they left the auditorium and walked through the nighttime university campus.

  “Does that mean we think similarly? That professor said something about investigating what was in our hearts, so this might mean we have good compatibility.”

  “In any case,” said Anzai, cutting off the flow of her comments.

  It was just as Aisu had said. He could see how he too would lose his sense of emotional distance if he got caught up in Harumi’s sweetly flowing words.

  “That was a strange event. Everything about it was strange. But the strangest thing of all was…”

  “Oh, oh, oh!” Harumi raised her hand excitedly. “The way it was all people I had never seen before was strange.”

  “?”

  “All the other survey participants. I have been here for over half a year, but I had never met any of the other people there.”

  “The university’s a big place. That was a collection of problem students, so it shouldn’t be too surprising if it was full of people you didn’t know, right? I mean, I’ve never met any of you before.”

  “But I have seen you before.”

  “Eh?”

  “I have glimpsed you in the campus family restaurant. You always wear the same choker, right? That’s why I remembered you.”

  Anzai started coughing.

  There was so much room for misunderstandings there and he could see the cabaret club girl named Aisu grinning.

  Oblivious to all that, Harumi continued.

  “But I do not remember ever even glimpsing any of the other people taking the survey. The professor left right after it was over and the next thing I knew, all the other participants were gone. I wonder why? I get the feeling I will never again see those people who slipped off to go somewhere else.”

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  “Ah ha ha. I know. But when I saw you sleeping in the auditorium, I was reminded of a balloon. A balloon caught in a tree branch. I felt like you would float off somewhere if I did not call out to you.”

  Places like the convenience store and family restaurant on campus were in dedicated buildings rather than being part of the school buildings. The coffee shop was the same. Teachers and students alike felt it was a pain having to go outside to reach them on rainy days and there might as well not be any on campus if they have to walk all the way across the campus anyway.

  When they arrived at the coffee shop, Aisu gave a cruel smile.

  “Oh, the manager in the back just clicked his tongue.”

  “Of course he did. He just lost his chance to close up early at 8.”

  “There’s no one but us here, but I’ll go get us a table.”

  “Hotaru-san, just tell us what you want.”

  Whenever they did something, Anzai was reminded of the completed circle of those girls’ group. He had to wonder why they had invited him if their circle was so complete.

  While he was wondering what to do, Harumi spoke to him from the side.

  “The guy’s role is to carry the drinks to the table.”

  “I’ll just consider myself lucky that you aren’t expecting me to pay.”

  Once the drinks were ready, Anzai carried the plastic tray to the table while muttering something about 4 or 5 paper cups being no problem at all.

  “What is that, Harumi? Did you order a mass of cinnamon?”

  “Personally, I do not understand how anyone could order it black. That just stabs into your tongue.”

  “You’re the same as ever, Hotaru-san. You don’t care what you get, so you always order a new drink or a special seasonal drink.”

  “Well, you order the coffee jelly every time you come here. You’re supposed to get drinks here, you know?”

  All four girls then turned to Anzai as if to say “So what did you get?” Having a group of essentially strangers focusing on him like that was not exactly comfortable, so he answered right away.

  “Brandy.”

  “You got something alcoholic!? I did not know they served alcohol here.”

  “It says 80 proof. Are you really going to drink it straight?”

  “If so, you certainly are not driving home. And since you agreed to a chat that could go on for who knows how long, you must not be worried about making it to the last train either. The area within walking distance of here is quite expensive, so there are no student apartments. From that, it seems likely you live in the dorms.”

  “There it is!! Her persistent stalker deductions!! I always wonder why she can’t use that for something more peaceful like criminal investigations!”

  The continued teasing must have finally gotten to her because Kozue started flicking some of the clear viscous liquid at Aisu from the back of the lids to her used gum syrup containers.

  The cabaret club girl then spewed insults that caused her image as a lady to crumble.

  Ignoring all that, Harumi spoke to Anzai.

  “Anyway, I was talking about how I have not seen any of the other participants around campus, right?”

  “You weren’t done?”

  “For some reason it reminds me of the rumors about the people who you can hire to do anything.”

  “Oh, I’ve heard of those.”

  It was unclear how it connected to what Harumi had been talking about before, so Anzai replied without much enthusiasm. People who would carry out any job were often mentioned on TV, but it was unclear if anyone like that actually existed. At the very least, there was no shop advertising that on their sign and no business with that description at the university’s job hunting department.

  “Are there rumors of there being a group like that around here? When I moved here, I remember hearing about people you could hire to cheaply transport your luggage…”

  Anzai had not been tempted to try it, though. A proper moving company was one thing, but he thought it was crazy to leave your household tools with some strange people.

  “I heard
they would get rid of any persistent stalkers.”

  “I don’t see the point,” said Anzai as he sipped at his brandy. “There are already people to do those things. Just hire a moving company or call the police. Something legit will be more of a sure thing anyway. You don’t need to go out of your way to hire some suspicious people.”

  In an attempt to avoid getting caught in the crossfire of the gum syrup battle, Hotaru scooted her seat closer to Anzai.

  “And who even knows how to contact them.”

  “With the pocket tissues,” declared Harumi with a grin suddenly. “There is occasionally someone handing out tissues in front of the station near campus.”

  “…Is there a phone number written on them you call to contact them?”

  Anzai doubted many people would call a strange number because of the chance that the number would incur some exorbitant fee.

  Hotaru seemed to agree, but she allowed the conversation to continue. Perhaps that was one trick to allowing friendships to form.

  “And it’s needlessly complex. If the person handing out the tissues is their contact, wouldn’t it be faster if he just held a sign and took people’s requests there?”

  “Maybe that is because no one wants people to know they are contacting them. You can stick the tissues in your pocket while pretending not to be interested and then call later.”

  “If they wanted to keep it a secret, would they really tell some strange person about it? And if this group is really doing suspicious things, would they really stand in front of the station for hours on end? There are so many cameras these days.”

  “But…” Whether it was her real opinion or she was just adding to the subject, Hotaru gave an opinion from a different angle. “Whether they use the pocket tissues or not, they would likely have a discreet method of contacting them if they really will do ‘anything’.”

  “Anything…? You mean other than helping you move or ridding you of a stalker?”

  “I heard someone called in as a prank and asked them to gather people for a group lynching and a group actually gathered.”

  “…This just took a dark turn.”

  “The person who made the joke was supposedly charged with an exorbitant fee and then went missing when he tried to apologize and explain that it was a joke.”

  “In that case, I wonder if the other people in the auditorium were from that group,” said Harumi.

  “‘In that case’? I don’t really see the connection, but what would they have been doing there? And who would have hired them?”

  “Eh? That professor maybe? Y’know, people hired to fill out a crowd.”

  “…”

  “…”

  Anzai and Hotaru both fell silent. Harumi had likely said that without giving it much thought, but the thought sent a chill down the other two’s backs.

  Had everyone but them been fakes?

  Had it not been a gathering of people without enough credits or who had gotten into some kind of trouble?

  Had the people right next to them been strange people who were there for some unknown reason?

  And not just a few. Had they been completely surrounded by people like that?

  The entire time?

  Even though it was possible they could remember what the people around them looked like and could have stolen a glance at where they had filled out their names?

  Anzai could feel a cold sweat on his forehead.

  He quickly thought about what he had to deny in order to maintain a stable mentality.

  “Yeah, but I doubt that group you can hire to do anything even exists.”

  “True. How many jobs would they even get in a year? I just do not see how it could function as a business.”

  “If they get few jobs, they would have to charge ridiculous amounts for each individual one.”

  “If it would cost millions of yen to get them to pull some kind of prank, it would be easier to just do it yourself.”

  “If all those people were from that group, they would have to make enough money to support a few dozen people.”

  “Eh? But…”

  Harumi was still muttering something in her sweet voice, but Anzai and Hotaru continued to turn down her arguments.

  Even so, Harumi’s quiet voice slipped into Anzai’s ears through the cracks in their arguments.

  “Maybe they normally run some other kind of business. And maybe they don’t tell you about the money at first and then use violence to get you to pay the very, very high price.”

  Part 2

  And that was how the creepy survey came to its end…or so I would like to say. Unfortunately, there seem to be plenty of mysterious things in this world.

  It was only the next day.

  After one night, the next bizarre phenomenon came in for the attack.

  Or…

  Perhaps seeing it as “the next” one was a mistake and it was merely a continuation.

  Part 3

  With his afternoon lecture over, Anzai was done with school for the day.

  As he looked through the requests for “safe, school approved jobs” posted on an outdoor bulletin board, Harumi called out to him.

  The other three did not seem to be with her.

  “Do you need money for your living expenses?”

  “No, I was thinking of getting a license. But I looked into it and the driving school is expensive. It costs about 300,000 yen.”

  “Oh, I see. I was hoping to get a second smartphone.”

  “Eh? You need two at the same time?”

  “And that’s why I have this mystery item!!”

  Harumi then pulled something out of her pocket with such force that it seemed to ignore the restrictions of the third dimension.

  Anzai recognized what the item was just from its silhouette.

  But it gave him a powerful feeling of unease.

  Yes.

  It was a packet of sample pocket tissues the same as the ones rumored to be handed out in front of the station.

  Those suspicious tissues were said to contain the phone number of the group you could hire to do anything.

  On the surface, it was a completely normal packet of tissues. However, the space for the sample tissues held a blood red piece of paper that had a string of numbers written in an oozing pitch black. The amount of numbers matched that of a phone number, but it was a complete mystery where that number might lead.

  That alone was not enough to prove it was the number of that group.

  But…

  “A guy was handing out these red pocket tissues in front of the station just like the rumor said.”

  “I see…”

  Since it was a cell phone number rather than a landline number or a toll-free number, Anzai did not want to call it. However, Harumi did not seem concerned in the slightest.

  “Okay, I’m going to call.”

  “You’re going to ask them to find a well-paying job?”

  “That’s too roundabout. I’m going to ask them to hire the two of us!!”

  “I had a feeling you were going to get me wrapped up in this!”

  Anzai frantically tried to stop Harumi, but she pulled out her (first?) cell phone and called the number written on the pocket tissue.

  However, the young woman (?) who answered the phone seemed perplexed.

  “This is the number for customers. We cannot accept requests for jobs.”

  The woman was clearly not used to speaking so politely which made it feel all the more dangerous. Anzai did not want to have anything more to do with it, but Harumi did not seem to mind at all.

  “But I want you to grant my request for a job. You say you can do anything people want you to, right?”

  “Gh…”

  “I want a job for two people that is only 3 times a week, makes over 1000 yen an hour, is not dangerous, and can be easily done by amateurs!!”

  “…W-well, don’t blame me if anything happens.”

  She hung up with that line that did not sound lik
e the part of a corporation properly acting as a gear of society.

  Anzai’s face was completely pale, but Harumi had an unworried smile as she said, “See? This is a simple world.”

  Part 4

  It was a holiday. However, even if his parents had been deathly ill, he had the flu, he was trapped on a desert island in some distant sea, and an asteroid was about to crash into the earth, he would not have been able to cancel the job.

  “You don’t get to go back to sleep!!” said Harumi.

  “How did you know where my apartment is?”

  “Kozue told me.”

  “I don’t remember telling Kozue either!!”

  They were called out to a completely normal looking vacant lot. A middle-aged man wearing work clothes was there. He smiled and waved over at them. Anzai was prepared to grab a metal pipe off the ground and beat the man over the back of the head if he said they had to be transported somewhere with blindfolds on, but that did not happen.

  “There you are. I’m Suzukawa, the section manager. You two are the newcomers I take it.”

  “Yes!!”

  “Yesssss…”

  Anzai’s response was incredibly halfhearted, but the gears of the world continued turning.

  “What is our job today!?”

  “It’s nearby. We can walk there. Oh, take these. They’re your tools for the job, so take care of them. They’re the life of a worker.”

  “…A bucket and…what’s this? A roller-shaped cleaner used to get hair out of carpet?”

  “It’s a roller for paint. Girl, you take the paint can.”

  “Okay!!”

  They were to be working in a rundown apartment complex that was a 5 minute walk away.

  In fact, it was the apartment complex Anzai lived in.

  “Why has everyone done research into where I live!?”

  “What is he talking about?”

  “He sometimes says strange things.”

  Anzai quite reluctantly followed the other two into the apartment building. They arrived at the room next to his own.

  “This is an empty room.”

  “…What are we going to do?”