Challenging Dr. Blake

by Rebecca Lang

  On Saturday, Signy and her colleagues in Moose Head discovered that they would be going back to Brookes Landing on the following Monday, for perhaps the whole week, and also would visit some smaller settlements farther up the coast where there were nursing stations and doctors called once in a while.

  Later that day, after lunch, Signy slipped away quickly, wanting to walk by herself through the woods to the beach, to look at the ocean once again close up and to overcome her residual fear of being alone in the forest. As time went by, she was finding a certain peace here. Physical activity in the open air helped.

  The climate was changing now that they were at the end of the second week in October. The evenings and mornings were becoming darker, there was more rain and mist, the leaves on the trees were falling gradually.

  After the long, brisk walk through the forest and then along the beach, she found herself glorying in the sound of the ocean and the wind. Huge strands of kelp lay here and there, further out from where she was walking close to the trees; they looked black on the pale sand, lonely and abandoned.

  As she turned her back into the wind, facing the way she had come, she saw a man come out of the trees by a different path from the one she had taken, stopping her in her tracks, a momentary fear assailing her. This was a very isolated place. There was no one on this island unaccounted for, so she had been told, and much of the coastline wasn’t easily accessible to boats.

  The man waved. In a few moments, while she stood still, she saw that it was Dan. A gamut of emotions washed over her, as well as a wave of heat as she let out a pent-up breath and began to walk forward slowly again in his direction, her predominant feeling, to her surprise, being one of a peculiar kind of relief.

  ‘Signy! Signy!’ he was calling to her, shouting to make himself heard.

  ‘Hello!’ she called back, waving. As the gap closed between them, she inadvertently thought of the remarks Terri had made to her about an affair with Dan—short and sweet, as she’d put it. How did Terri know that it would be sweet? she wondered, a peculiar hysteria taking hold of her as they drew closer. He had seen her at her most vulnerable, which lent a peculiar kind of intimacy to their interaction now, as well as making her feel at a disadvantage with him. Momentarily she wondered whether she should disappear among the trees to avoid him…but she didn’t want to…

  ‘Hi,’ he said, coming up to her, his casual clothing, dark green rain jacket and hair whipped by the wind, colour in his face. ‘How are you?’ His lean face, with its square-cut jaw, the laughter lines around the eyes, was becoming very familiar to her.

  ‘All right, thank you,’ she said, feeling a little wary, as his attitude to her when they’d last been alone had been cool, or so it had seemed to her. Again, Terri’s words came back to her, something about Dan being all man, mature. ‘I…didn’t know you would be here,’ she added somewhat unnecessarily, on the defensive, not wanting him to think that she had engineered a meeting.

  ‘Otherwise you wouldn’t have come?’ he queried, grinning in that rather wry way he had.

  Signy flushed. ‘Perhaps not.’

  ‘Well,’ he said, ‘I did know you were going to be here. I saw your name and route in the check-out book in the office. I came on a different path, as I didn’t want you to think I was dogging your footsteps. Let’s walk.’ He touched her arm lightly.

  They battled the wind together for minutes without speaking.

  ‘You know,’ he said at length, as they came to a halt beside a particularly large and long piece of kelp that had been washed up closer to the forest, ‘there’s another meaning for kelp. It’s kelpie, actually…from Scottish lore. A kelpie is a water spirit that usually comes in the form of a horse. It’s reputed to delight in ensnaring and drowning travellers.’

  ‘Oh…really?’ Signy looked around her, noting that while her attention had been on Dan a fine white mist had crept in from the sea, over the sand close to the water, like a low cloud, bringing with it a greater coolness. When she looked out to the ocean she could see the white-capped waves, like the proverbial prancing horses, coming into the shore relentlessly through the mist, and she shivered. ‘I wish you hadn’t said that,’ she added, looking at him accusingly. ‘I shan’t be able to get that out of my mind now when I look at the water.’

  When he grinned slowly and ruefully at her, something happened to her concept of him as not being her type, and something happened to the habitual antagonism that was always just below the surface of her consciousness. Maybe he wasn’t her type, she told herself, but she could quite see how some other women might find him irresistible, especially when he smiled like that.

  ‘Myths often serve a purpose, they can mimic reality,’ he said. ‘This one makes sure that we don’t underestimate the power of the sea.’

  ‘This mist…’ she began, looking at it as it swirled around their legs.

  ‘Yes, we ought to start back,’ he said, ‘while we can still find the path easily. Come on.’ They turned back. ‘It will be clear in the woods, and somewhat warmer.’

  As though on cue, it began to rain quite suddenly as they walked back to the Huckleberry path, then in seconds it had become a downpour. Signy pulled the hood of her jacket up. This was why moss clung to the trees, why everything grew so abundantly.

  When Dan took her hand and began to run, pulling her after him, she didn’t resist. In the woods the rain was less, but still heavy. Panting for breath, they pushed their way under a giant fir tree, whose branches swept low to the ground in graceful curves. Underneath it, near the trunk, it was possible for a person to stand up.

  ‘We’ll shelter here for a bit until the worst is over,’ Dan said. He lowered himself, his back to the large trunk, onto the dry ground which was covered with brown needles from the tree. Under there it was almost dark. ‘It should slacken off in about fifteen minutes.’

  ‘Should we be under a tree if there’s a storm?’ she asked, looking up at the trunk and branches towering above them, through which a few drops of water fell on her face. ‘What if it get’s struck by lightning?’

  ‘There isn’t going to be a storm,’ he said, ‘not that sort of storm.’

  ‘How do you know?’ she asked obstinately, looking at him through the gloom.

  ‘I just know,’ he said, a slight smile on his face as he looked up at her. ‘Come and sit down here. We’ll wait it out.’

  Even though she essentially disliked Dan, she told herself yet again, her heart was beating fast as she lowered herself to the ground near him. It was quieter here, just the drumming of rain on foliage higher above them. She pulled her jacket more closely around her, drew up her knees and folded her arms over them, hugging them to her chest to keep warm. ‘It’s amazing how quickly the temperature has changed,’ she said.

  ‘Yeah,’ he agreed. ‘That’s why you always have to wear warm clothing and suitable boots. Sit closer to me.’ They both moved a little so that they sheltered each other.

  Why am I doing this? What’s happening to me? Almost angrily, Signy addressed herself, wondering why she obediently shifted close to him, feeling her control of the situation slipping away from her. Maybe Terri was right. She wasn’t used to dealing with a man like Dan Blake…hard, in complete command of himself and the situation.

  ‘Why did you seek me out?’ she demanded, trying to take back some of the initiative.

  ‘I wanted to see you alone as we haven’t had any opportunity all week,’ he said, putting his head back against the trunk of the tree. ‘We parted on a rather odd note, so I wanted to see how you are…in the light of the fact that you had all those bad dreams when you were staying at my place. Thinking it over, I want to apologize, too, for being so touchy on one or two occasions. I have to put that down to the fact that I was under a certain amount of strain with some of the cases I had, as well as the pressure of other work. Nevertheless, that’s no excuse, really. I don’t want you to think I’m a complete boor.’

  ‘I don’t,’ she said tru
thfully. ‘I don’t know what I think.’ She paused, uncommonly aware of him, searching her mind for something to say. ‘Actually, the dreams are getting fewer, and the ones I do have are less upsetting and dramatic.’

  ‘I’m no expert on dreams,’ he said laconically, although Signy had the sense that he was more tense than he appeared, ‘but I would say that you’re coming to terms with a few things, finally getting them sorted out.’

  ‘Perhaps,’ she said. ‘I like being on this island. I can’t really say why. It’s an escape of sorts, I suppose. It’s the smallness of it, so manageable.’

  ‘Mmm. Maybe now would be a good time to talk about a few things,’ he suggested, ‘if you want to. There’s no coercion.’

  ‘No?’ Signy laughed ironically. ‘When you’ve got me trapped here under a tree in a rainstorm?’

  Again he smiled that slow smile at her, and shrugged. ‘You’re free to go,’ he said. ‘I just hope you won’t.’

  Unable to sustain eye contact, Signy picked up a twig from the ground and proceeded to break it into tiny pieces to distract herself. ‘Terri and I talked about our respective situations, about our field work,’ she said quickly, the words tumbling out, while she wished that he wouldn’t look at her. ‘It helped a lot.’ She turned to him. ‘Why don’t you tell me about yourself?’ she suggested challengingly. ‘I feel more at ease giving confidences if they’re returned. It somehow evens the score.’

  ‘You’re right, of course,’ he said, sitting with his hands hanging casually between his drawn-up knees.

  ‘Tell me about Marianne Crowley,’ she ventured softly.

  Dan gave a dry laugh. ‘Our mutual friend Sal has been talking,’ he commented.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Well…’ He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. ‘Marianne and I were what you might call an item at one time. That was mainly, I can see now, because we were thrown together in Brookes Landing with our work. There aren’t that many beautiful female doctors up in those out-of-the-way places.’

  ‘Go on.’ Signy wasn’t sure why she was goading him, why she had a genuine desire to know, except that she was fed up with always being the one under the microscope, so to speak.

  ‘To cut a long story short…’

  ‘Why?’

  Again he laughed. ‘It would bore you. It’s really a dull story. I didn’t love her enough to have bad dreams. She didn’t like me being away from time to time with World Aid Doctors, for one thing, and she didn’t want to come with me. What she wanted was marriage, to have homes in Vancouver and Brookes Landing, to settle down to a quiet professional and family life. I wasn’t ready for that. Neither did I want to give up any of my work. I guess it provides something that I need.’

  Signy nodded, looking at him quickly then away again.

  ‘I want to share my expertise with the less fortunate of the world,’ he went on, ‘to teach other health-care workers in those places to have greater knowledge so that they can be more self-sufficient. We—Marianne and I—agreed to differ, and parted.’

  ‘That was what you wanted?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And do you care now?’

  ‘No. It’s all sort of blown over, you might say,’ he said thoughtfully. ‘I can see now that we were together because of our easy proximity, not because there was much else to it…not as much as there should have been for a permanent relationship. So far, she hasn’t found anybody else who will fulfil her ambitions, although she wants to, I suspect.’ To Signy, the tone of his voice suggested that his heart hadn’t been broken by the decision.

  ‘And you?’

  ‘I’ve decided that I can’t afford to get involved yet—that is, can’t take the time. I’ve too many other commitments.’ It was stated unemotionally, rather as he’d said that the rain would slacken off in fifteen minutes.

  ‘What about…your own personal needs?’ she ventured.

  He shrugged. ‘I get by,’ he said.

  They were silent for a while, listening to the patter of rain and the sudden louder pounding of surf in the near distance. Again Signy shivered, thinking of the water sprites.

  ‘The kelpies are riding,’ he said.

  ‘Oh, don’t!’

  Dan put an arm round her, drawing her shoulder against his. ‘Cold?’

  ‘Mmm,’ she said, her heart giving an unexpected lurch as she reluctantly felt the pull of his attraction. ‘And thinking of the long walk back.’ What on earth am I doing here—with him? she asked herself furiously. It was as though her mind and body had become split and her body was responding to its own urgent needs, was getting the better of her.

  Again Dan sighed, putting his head back against the rough bark of the trunk and closing his eyes. Signy glanced at his profile, his face so close to hers.

  Without moving or opening his eyes, he said softly, ‘Signy, I want to kiss you…I want to hold you in my arms.’

  Instantly her heart leapt again, sending a rush of blood to her face, and her throat felt tight as though she wouldn’t be able to speak if she tried. Every part of her body was intensely aware of his so close to her, his side against hers…in spite of the fact that he wasn’t her type. Not enough like a boy? And therefore not manageable? The words tantalized her, the ideas that Terri had put into her head so provocatively.

  When she didn’t answer after a few seconds, he turned his head slowly to look at her, his eyes meeting hers. Even in the gloom it wasn’t difficult to see the desire that was naked on his face, sending a shock of recognition through her.

  ‘You don’t have to say yes if you’d rather not,’ he said huskily, so softly that she could hardly hear him. ‘It’s just that you’ve been driving me crazy ever since that last night at my cottage. I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind.’

  ‘I…’ she managed to get out. ‘Um…it would depend on what I’d be saying yes to.’ Trying to turn it into a joke, she smiled. But an air of seriousness seemed to hang between them.

  ‘I’m not looking for an affair. I know you’ll be gone soon…’ he said.

  ‘Why me?’ she whispered.

  ‘Because you’ve somehow got through my defences, I guess,’ he said. ‘Also, you’re a lovely woman, of course.’

  Signy swallowed nervously then put up her hand to his face, without having planned it. Her eyes moved from his eyes to his mouth. God help me, she said to herself, I don’t know what I’m doing. With that, she leaned forward the few inches and put her mouth tentatively on his by way of answer, the contact melting any residual resistance. A feeling of intense longing flared through her.

  Immediately his mouth captured hers hungrily, urgently, his hands on either side of her face, straining her to him as though he had been waiting for ever for this, she thought wildly. Any man could do this to me now, and I would respond in the same way. Stubbornly she denied any special power to Dan. I’ve been waiting for this, too…

  Dan cradled her in his arms, his kiss deepening, and she found herself responding mindlessly, carried along with his passion. In moments her hands had moved up to his hair, which was surprisingly soft and fine.

  They lay down on the ground next to each other, their heads on the soft, dry earth which was scented with the pungent odour of growing things. To Signy, being there with Dan began to take on that rare magical quality that the mist, the sea and the forest brought with them, as though he were very much a part of it all. Like the in-constant mist, perhaps he, too, would disappear…as he surely would for her when she left this island.

  Now all that mattered was the feel of his warm mouth on hers, his head above hers, his hands caressing her face as he kissed her. All her reservations were temporarily forgotten. It had been a long time since a man had wanted her in this way, or since she had felt herself respond with such hunger. The time she had spent with Simon now seemed like a gauche dress-rehearsal for a more intense, mature coming of age. Whether it was to be with this man, she didn’t know.

  Short and sweet, that
was what Terri had suggested, she reminded herself wildly. Was this to be it? With this strange man whom she didn’t understand?

  They pulled apart and lay looking at each other, breathing quickly. Looking up at him, she felt shy, especially when he stroked strands of hair away from her forehead. There was something very disarming about gentleness in a man who was what one might call a man of action.

  ‘I didn’t come for this, Signy,’ he said softly, the expression in his eyes gentle yet unreadable. ‘You must believe that. I wanted to talk to you, to make sure you were all right.’

  ‘I know,’ she said. It was true.

  ‘Signy…you’re very lovely,’ he murmured, ‘in more ways than one. Never be tempted to sell yourself short.’ The implied finality in his words meant that they were ships that were destined to pass in the night. It seemed so, anyway. An odd feeling, presaging future goodbyes, moved her to the brink of tears, so that she had to blink rapidly to forestall the threatened moisture. Not that he meant anything to her. He was just kind, and she appreciated that. She was more emotionally labile than she had thought.

  ‘We’re ships that pass in the night, aren’t we?’ She put her thought into words, trying to be flippant.

  ‘It would seem so,’ he said, looking down at her.

  When he bent to kiss her again, she put her arms up around his neck, a feeling of finality, of those future goodbyes, goading her to make the most of this man-woman contact. It was nice, she told herself, to be held, to be kissed…especially when you read passion and desire in a man’s eyes…

  The rain did slacken off, just as Dan had predicted. They walked back quickly along the path, where here and there small puddles had collected. For the rest of her life she would remember that walk, she knew, because there would never be anything quite like it again. In hot, dry places she would think of the dark green, moist coolness, the scents of cedar and rich black soil, the glimpses of pale sky far above where the branches of the towering trees met, the light of a weak sun shafting through.