by JB Bonds
“All ready. I was putting together my Valentine’s outfit for the parade. I have to say I’m looking forward to this. I think our golf cart looks fantastic!”
“You really have outdone yourself for this parade. The two whip-flags at the back add a real flare, not to mention the balloons hanging around the edge of the canvas roof. But for me, the coolest thing was our empty two pound box of chocolates in the shape of a heart that was taped to the front grill. Great ideas.”
“Oh, you know me. Always thinking. Just makes life more fun.”
“I’ll go get Lara fired up. Come down when you’re ready.”
“I’m right behind you.”
We pulled up to McGhee’s and Ida’s house and they were standing outside waiting for us. To our surprise, they had found the time to erect an umbrella clothesline in their side yard and had sheets out to dry. Not that Roz and I would mind that, but there were a couple of people on our street who were sticklers for Home Owner’s Association rules. The HOA was very liberal about most decorations, lights, and plants, but I don’t remember reading anything about laundry hanging outside.
“Good morning, ladies,” McGhee said with a beautiful smile.
“Oh, Lord, McGhee! We forgot to get the sheets off the clothesline last evening! We can’t leave sheets hanging on a line on a Sunday morning!” Ida said as she turned to go toward the clothesline.
“Ida, it won’t hurt anything just this one time if we leave them. I’ll get those sheets off the line as soon as we get back from church,” McGhee said as she patted Ida’s hand and led her to our car.
“Hope you don’t mind if we have the top down on our car this morning. It’s so beautiful out here and we don’t have to go but a couple of blocks to get to the church,” I said.
“I couldn’t believe it when I saw you two pull up in this convertible! What a hoot! You two are something, you know that? The top down is perfect,” Ida said.
We enjoyed an hour of worship and introduced Ida and McGhee to everyone. The girls seemed to enjoy the service and music. You could tell they were filling up their souls for another week, and seemed to be thankful for so much.
The four of us made our rounds at the Food Lion, then stopped for a little light lunch at a wonderful seafood restaurant in the strip mall by the grocery store. As we dropped the girls off, we invited them to join us tomorrow for the parade and their first golf cart driving lesson.
“Don’t forget, after the parade, we’ll come back home and get our dishes for the potluck at the Recreation Center. Everyone always brings such good food to these things,” Roz said.
“We’ve been to a few parades over the years, but never been in one. This sounds like fun!” Ida said.
As we drove off it dawned on me. The clothesline was empty.
“Where are McGhee and Ida’s sheets?” Roz asked.
“I have no idea, but that’s pretty strange,” I said as we drove off.
Monday dawned bright and early for us and it wasn’t because the sun was shining in our windows. We could hear someone knocking on the Hammonds’ door and it was only 7:00 a.m. Our windows were open, letting in the nice breeze, so we could hear the insistence in the knock and someone talking. Roz stuck her head around my door to see if I was awake.
“I wonder who could be at the Hammonds’ door this early?” Roz said.
“I don’t know but they sure aren’t giving up.”
We peeped out my bedroom window because it had the best view of the Hammonds’ front deck. Sure enough, Burton was on their porch and Virgil had just come to the door. With only a couple of words, Burton went inside.
“Since we’re awake, I guess it’s time to get this day started,” Roz said as she walked into the kitchen.
“We have a lot going on today, that’s for sure. I’m worried about the missing laundry at Ida and McGhee’s. I think we need to talk to them early this morning to see if they know what happened.”
“That’s been on my mind, too. I hope this isn’t the beginning of a problem with one of our neighbors.”
Since we’d gotten up so early, we decided to go to aqua aerobics. We hadn’t been for a few days, and besides, we were hopeful we would see some of the folks we had seen at the pool the other day to see how they were doing.
Oddly enough, counting the two of us, there were only ten of us in class. Henri seemed disappointed at the poor showing.
Looking around, she said, “Where is everybody?”
“Maybe they slept in because of the big party Saturday afternoon,” I suggested.
“What big party?” she asked.
“There was quite the pool party here Saturday. I think it kind of happened on the spur of the moment, but the crowd was definitely having a great time,” Roz said.
“I was over at Marathon Key yesterday visiting a friend of mine so I didn’t know about it. Wow, I hope I’m here the next time that happens. Sounds like fun.”
“Henri, have you noticed anyone acting a little bit “frenzied” over the past week?” Roz asked.
“Not really, but I have noticed attendance for my morning class has dropped off dramatically. Is there a problem?”
“We’re not sure. Virgil and Flo Hammond, our new neighbors, are selling an elixir called Caliente Honey that is supposed to be a miracle drug for seniors. There are quite a few Rainbow residents taking the stuff and Roz and I have noticed some strange behavior the last couple of days. Probably nothing, but we’re curious.”
“Keep me posted. People our ages shouldn’t be experimenting with any kind of product that hasn’t been thoroughly tested.”
“Roz and I are going to talk to Herb sometime soon.”
On our way from the pool, we could see Ida in the distance hanging sheets on her clothesline. We walked up to her house.
“Hey, Ida. How are you doing today?” asked Roz.
“I don’t know how I’m doing. Hanging laundry out to dry once is enough, but having to do it again is the pits.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“I’ll tell you what happened! After you all dropped us off from church yesterday, we found all of our sheets in a pile on our back deck. Had to wash them again.”
“Oh, no! We were afraid something had happened. You probably need to check with Herb about our HOA rules. I don’t think a clothesline in the front yard is allowed,” I said.
“Not allowed! This is MY front yard. I can do what I want.”
“Not necessarily so, unfortunately. The owners of Rainbow have specific rules about how they want the community to look, and I guess a clothesline is something they would rather see in the back of the house,” Roz said.
“We don’t have a spot in the back to put up a clothesline. The canal runs right up to a sidewalk along our back deck. We love hanging our sheets out to dry. Never have liked using a dryer.”
“Do you have a dryer?” Asked Roz.
“Oh yes, came with the house. But I still don’t understand why it would be anybody’s business where I hang my laundry out to dry. Look over there at that house. They’ve got lines of streamers, chili pepper lights, flamingoes, and whirligigs all over the yard. And this HOA says that’s all right?”
“I know. It doesn’t make a lot of sense when you look at it that way,” I said.
“Well, I’ll tell you what. These sheets are hanging on this line.”
Chapter 11
It’s Sousa Time!
“Are you and McGhee going to join us for the parade?” Roz asked.
“What time?”
“Be outside around 4:00. Herb usually starts the parade at the end of our street. We’ll be up front with him.”
Unbeknownst to either of us, Roz and I had basically put on the same outfit for the parade. As we came out of our respective bathrooms, we had to laugh. There we were in our red capris, white short sl
eeve tops, and red scarves tied around our necks, and of course, our hats. We were just too much. Roz did have a couple of bright red cuff bracelets on, but that was the only difference.
Roz took one look at me and said, “Our minds must be connected. Can you believe this?”
“Happens to us all the time. Did you see all the Pelicans swooping around in the canal?”
“Looks like the man across the canal is cleaning some fish down by his dock, and the brown pelicans have moved in for the leftovers. Those birds sure put on a show, don’t they? I think watching them is one of my favorite things about being in Florida. They truly are magnificent,” Roz said.
“You’re right about that. Did you get your dish put together for the potluck?”
“In the fridge. I made my applesauce Jell-O. That’s always such a hit. You ready to go pick up Ida and McGhee?”
“I know everyone will enjoy the Jell-O as much as we do. It’s one of those dishes that’s so easy and yet so different. I’m ready if you are. I sure hope nothing else has happened with their laundry.”
I must admit, our golf cart looked pretty snazzy. As we drove up the street, we saw Lois getting her three-wheeler from her storage bin, and the Hammonds getting into their golf cart. Now there was a decorated golf cart! Blinking red and white chaser lights wound around the entire cart, big paper mache hearts attached to all four wheels, and the Hammonds dressed to the nines. They looked like they were going to some kind of fancy ball rather than a community parade. If making a statement and attracting attention is what they wanted, they were going to get it.
Roz and I waved to the Hammonds and motioned Lois over to our cart.
“Lois, come get in line with us. We’re going to stop by Ida and McGhee’s house so they can ride with us,” Roz said.
“Who are Ida and McGhee?”
“Our new neighbors. You’re going to love them. Such nice ladies and they’re sisters, as well,” I said.
“Are they the house that had sheets hanging out this morning?”
“Yes, that’s the house,” Roz said.
“Hmmmmmm…how’s that working for the hateful old man across the street from them?”
“I don’t know, but someone did take down all of the sheets yesterday while we were at church. Left them in a pile on their back deck. Ida washed them all again and hung them out this morning,” I said.
“Sounds like him. I don’t know much about the guy, just that he won’t speak; he never joins in any of our activities, and he’s actually yelled at me for stepping up onto his lawn when I was checking out one of his hibiscus plants. I think his name is Harry Woodward.”
We pulled up to Ida and McGhee’s just as the two sisters were coming out of their house. As I watched them walk toward us, I noticed the laundry was gone again. I also noticed for having just made a major move to a strange town and state, the ladies looked rested and definitely in a good mood. They had arranged two wrought iron chairs and a small table on their front deck and sitting in the middle of the table was some kind of candleholder encrusted with seashells. Ida and McGhee seemed to be joining in the tropical spirit of Rainbow’s End.
“You girls have a seat behind us. Herb should be here any minute,” I said.
“Did you get your sheets dried, Ida?” Roz asked.
“Oh yes, they were dry in an hour with this Florida heat and wind, and they smell so good!” Ida said.
“Ida, McGhee, this is Lois Nuttinger,” Roz said.
“Hello, Lois. Nice to meet you.” McGhee extended her hand.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you two. How long have you been moved in?”
“Only a couple of days. We’ve been working hard to get unpacked, so we haven’t met too many of our neighbors. I guess we have attracted the attention of one of our neighbors with our clothesline though,” McGhee said.
“The girls were telling me about that. Keep your eyes on the man across the street. I’m not saying he’s your problem, I’m just saying keep an eye out for him.”
“You mean that house right there with the chili pepper lights, giant flamingoes, and yard full of whirligigs?” McGhee asked.
“That’s the one.”
“If I catch him over here touching our laundry, he’s going to get an ear full from me!” Ida said rather loudly.
“Don’t jump to any conclusions about the guy yet. We don’t know who took down your laundry, but I know from personal experience, he is not pleasant,” Lois said.
Coming down the street, pumping for all he was worth, was Burton. He usually rides his golf cart in the parades, but today he had decorated his three-wheel. It was covered in bright red pinwheels with streamers coming from the handlebars. Burton had on red and white striped shorts, a white t-shirt, and a white ten- gallon hat that had pinwheels attached to it. The most disconcerting thing about Burton, however, was his eyes. They were darting around like ping pong balls and his face was extremely red.
“Yoo-Hoo! We can start the parade now. I’m here!” Burton sang.
“Burton, come here. I want you to meet some new residents. This is Ida Jones and McGhee Parker. They just moved in two days ago and live here on Palm Street,” I said.
“Welcome, welcome, ladies! You are absolutely going to love living in Rainbow’s End. There’s no other community in the Keys any finer.” Burton got off his bike and came over to shake hands with Ida and McGhee.
The girls nodded in unison and smiled at Burton. They really didn’t know what to say. Burton had caught them off guard with his attire and hyper demeanor.
“I don’t know, Burton. They’ve already had a little trouble,” Lois said.
“What do you mean?” Burton stopped fidgeting and tried to concentrate on Lois.
“Ida and McGhee put up an umbrella clothesline in their front yard and hung sheets out to dry. When we got back from church, the laundry was in a pile on their back deck,” Roz said.
“I don’t believe that! What’s the harm in putting a little laundry out to dry?” Burton said with a shout.
“We have our suspicions. If it is who we think, he should just come over and talk to Ida and McGhee about his complaint and not be so sneaky,” Lois said.
“Here comes Herb. Everyone get on your bikes, and get into your golf carts. I can hear his boombox. I think he actually found a Sousa CD instead of 60s rock. He thought that might give us the feel of a real parade,” Burton said and quickly pedaled over to Herb.
Not only was Herb on his way down the street, Sousa march blaring, but behind him were about ten residents doing some kind of lawn chair routine. I would swear it was the “hot, hot, hot Conga” line we saw at the pool yesterday. You could tell they hadn’t practiced quite enough because lawn chairs were flying everywhere. I was sure they were supposed to be doing everything as a unit, but they weren’t even close. When two or three of them were opening the chairs and sitting down, three more were closing them and standing up. They were bumping into each other and trying to form two lines, but it just wasn’t happening. Clever idea, but this group couldn’t do anything for laughing so much. They were fun to watch and their laughter was infectious.
The parade wound its way around Rainbow a couple of times. The lawn chair folks were still going strong, and had, in fact, announced they would be giving Shag lessons at the potluck, for those interested. Were they ever wound up tight.
Ida and McGhee thoroughly enjoyed the parade and meeting more of their neighbors. They seemed more content as we drove back to our houses to get our potluck dishes. Roz got her Jell-O and McGhee came out with an iron skillet that had some kind of cornbread in it that looked great. I was sure the cornbread would be gone in ten minutes flat. It looked that good.
Everyone who attended the potluck welcomed Ida and McGhee with open arms, and insisted on getting the recipe for their cornbread. We found out the secret ingredients that made this c
ornbread unbelievably moist and delicious were creamed corn and sour cream. It was obvious Ida and McGhee were making friends very quickly.
“Lois, is the man who lives across from Ida and McGhee here?” I asked.
“No, he never comes to any of our activities.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen the guy. He seems kind of reclusive.”
“That’s a good way to describe him. Not a happy man,” Lois whispered as she shook her head from side to side.
Roz and I did join the dancers who were teaching everyone the Shag. We had forgotten how much fun that could be. It had been awhile since either of us had done any dancing. The four of us left the potluck and went back home feeling good about our community, our neighbors, and life in general.
When we stopped to let Ida and McGhee off, there was a sign in their yard. Written on a big piece of cardboard with black magic marker was “Rainbow is a nice place to live. Let’s keep it that way.” Ida and McGhee calmly and quietly took down the sign, said their good-byes, and went into their house.
Tuesday morning, we couldn’t get dressed and out of the house fast enough to go to the Country Store. We wanted to talk to Herb. He was always at the store bright and early. We were hopeful we could catch him alone.
“Good morning, ladies. Did you run out of coffee? What brings you by here so early?”
“Good morning, Herb. Joanie and I have a couple things we wanted to talk to you about.”
“What’s up? That was some parade and potluck yesterday, wasn’t it?
“One of the best we’ve ever had. You met Ida and McGhee at the potluck, didn’t you?” I asked.
“Yes, they are a nice addition to our community.”
“Well, someone in our community doesn’t think they’re a nice addition,” Roz said.
“Oh, what’s happened?”
We explained about the clothesline, the laundry being dumped on the deck, and the sign in their yard. We also expressed our concerns about the frenzied actions of some of the residents, and the Hammonds selling Caliente Honey. Herb listened very attentively.
