Love at Last (Finding Love Book 6)
Page 16
“That’s a shame considering how far he’s come.”
As Willow’s words sank in, Rosemary’s fingers flew to her mouth, and she started to shake. “He’s here? In Nashville?”
“He’s a lot closer than that. He’s waiting for you in the solarium.”
“How could you do this, Willow?” she asked in a low voice, her hands clenching and unclenching. “Don’t you see the position you’ve put me in?”
“I see a man who’s moved heaven and earth to be here today. To refuse to talk to him would be cruel. The Rosemary I know and love would never do that.”
“What have you told him?”
“Only that you’re having surgery. You can be mad at me if you want, but there are women who would give anything for this kind of devotion.”
“Tell him I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
Once she was alone, Rosemary walked slowly into the bathroom and studied the reflection she’d been avoiding for days. She looked so bad she didn’t even know where to start. Sleepless nights and emotional stress had taken their toll. Because she wasn’t leaving the house, she hadn’t bothered to let Lisa do her hair or put on any makeup. Her eyes seemed to have sunk into her head, her skin was a pasty white, and her lips were colorless.
As she made an effort to look less like a zombie, she couldn’t find it in her heart to be angry with Willow. She might not like the circumstances, but she couldn’t deny how much Jase’s coming meant to her. The thought of being in the same room with him had her insides quivering. No matter what passed between them, she would have the memory of this time together. It would be something to hold on to in the difficult weeks to come.
Unlike most people, Jase wasn’t admiring the postcard-worthy view visible from almost every angle of the sun room. He was facing the doorway, his stance unwavering. Before she’d taken a second step, he moved in front of her, the look of hunger in his eyes making her blood leap.
“How are you, Rosemary?”
She tried to speak and couldn’t. Her heart was too full. Tears spilt out of her eyes and ran down her cheeks. He wiped them away with the tips of his fingers and then enfolded her in his strong arms. She inhaled his clean, masculine scent and leaned into the warmth and strength of his closeness, filled with a sense of returning to where she belonged.
“It feels so good to hold you,” he whispered.
It felt good to be held.
After several minutes, he drew back a little so he could look at her. “I’d forgotten how beautiful you are.”
“I think you need glasses.”
“My eyes are just fine.” His arms loosened slightly, but didn’t let her go. “Do you know why I’m here?”
“I assume it’s because of the letter I sent you.”
“No, it wasn’t that.” He took her hand and led her over to the loveseat. After they were seated, he said, “I came to find out why a friend of mine didn’t tell me she was sick.”
Rosemary dropped her gaze to the collar of his shirt. “I didn’t want to worry you.”
“You have an odd notion of what friendship is. Friends want to be with you in good times and bad times. I told you back in November that whatever you decided about us, we would always be friends.”
“I thought it would be easier this way. I didn’t want to drag you down, too.”
* * * * *
From the few things Willow told him, Jase knew that whatever was wrong with Rosemary was serious and potentially life-changing. His only thought had been getting to her as quickly as possible.
“I don’t see this as being dragged down. A burden shared is a burden halved.”
The eyes he’d seen shine with happiness and dance with laughter were locked on a point behind him, but he doubted she was seeing the beauty of rolling hills dotted with trees. Her strength and independence in such a situation amazed him. His glance dropped to her lips. When they started to tremble, he couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled her into his arms again.
“Please don’t shut me out, Rosemary. Whatever it is, I want to be here for you.”
His words seemed to act like a release to the tight grip she had on her emotions. He felt the bunched muscles in her arms and legs relax. Her head settled on his shoulder. “The squeaky wheel gets the grease, right? You don’t stop until you get what you want.”
He pressed a kiss on her hair. “That’s right so you might as well give up now.” Her fingers knotted themselves into the hem of her shirt. He caught them in his hand where they continued to move restlessly.
“Next week I’m having surgery to remove a brain tumor, or at least as much of it as they can get. They won’t know whether it’s cancer until they do a biopsy. Because the tumor is near the language center of my brain, my ability to think, speak and remember things may be impacted. I may have to undergo chemotherapy. The recovery period could span six months to a year.”
No matter how much one was prepared to hear something unpleasant, it wasn’t enough. Not since his mother had called to tell him about Quinn’s accident had Jase felt such agony of mind and soul. He understood the implications of all Rosemary hadn’t said, and his heart ached. More than anything, he wished it was possible for him to take her place. Since he couldn’t do that, he would do the next best thing. She needed someone to lean on, not someone else to worry about. This wasn’t the moment to give in to the overwhelming anguish spreading through him. He had to be strong for her. And so he smiled through the tears in his eyes.
“It’s a good thing I brought enough clothes.”
Her fingers stopped their agitated movements. “What are you talking about?’
“I’m not going back to St. Marys until you can come with me.”
Her eyes showed surprise. “You can’t put your life on hold for me. You’ve got a family waiting for you. Ellen’s baby is almost due, and there’s your writing and Ambrose.”
“My life has been on hold since I held hands with you on the plane. My family is well aware of that. My writing can be done anywhere, and Ambrose has moved into the big house with Ellen and Quinn. Winnie comes over every day to play with him. Do you have any other objections?”
“Not right now, but I’m sure I’ll think of a few more later.” With the gentlest of touches, she feathered her fingers across the planes of his face. Waves of heat and chills raced through him. “You sent the flowers, didn’t you?”
He cleared his throat. “I didn’t think spring had arrived yet in Nashville so I sent you a little something to tide you over.”
“They’re lovely, Jase. Thank you.” Her fingers moved into his hair, bringing goosebumps to his scalp. “Not telling you about the tumor isn’t the only wrong I’ve done to you. I also lied to you in that letter. I was actually making plans to come to St. Marys when all of this happened.”
Even in the midst of his sadness, he couldn’t stop the joy flooding his heart. He tilted up her chin, letting his thumb caress the soft skin of her neck. “I’ve already forgotten what was in the letter. Why were you coming to St. Marys?”
“So you could tell me the rest of what you were going to say.”
“I can tell you now if you like,” he said softly.
“I’d like that very much.”
“When you left in November, I was falling in love with you. Now I’m so deeply and madly in love with you that I can’t remember not loving you.”
She smiled. “That’s good, because I’m madly and deeply in love with you, too.”
His lips closed over hers, gently exploring and savoring her honeyed sweetness. She clung to him, returning his kisses with a fervor that not only gave truth to her words, but also gave him a tantalizing glimpse of what their future could be.
Chapter Thirteen
Rosemary lay in bed watching a beam of moonlight move slowly across the wall of a hospital room that could have passed for a hotel suite. She should have been asleep hours ago, but she couldn’t relax. Why was she doing this to herself? Spending the night worrying wasn’t
going to change the outcome. By this time tomorrow, her surgery would be history.
Over her protests (which probably hadn’t been as strong as they should have), Jase had come with her and Willow to Birmingham. Somehow he sweet-talked the nurse on duty into letting him stay well past visiting hours and then hid in the bathroom when she returned to make sure he had left.
“Some rules were made to be broken,” he told Rosemary, a conspiratorial grin lighting up his face.
She smiled in the darkness as her eyes searched and found the large shadow on the couch opposite her bed. Pictures of the last five days flashed through her tired brain. Jase had refused to let her dwell on the future. He’d turned what would have been a tension-filled time into something magical. The two of them had explored almost every square inch of her property. They’d taken turns reading aloud to each other from his books, watched old movies on television, cooked meals together in the kitchen, made snow angels, and sat for hours in the solarium wishing on stars.
Would they ever do any of those things again? The fears she’d buried deep inside rose to the surface. She didn’t want to think that this was all she and Jase would have. Why hadn’t she figured out her feelings sooner? She’d wasted weeks doing nothing that really mattered. All of those days and hours that could have been spent with him were lost forever.
An almost imperceptible sob slipped through her lips. Then another and another. Horrified that she might wake up Jase, she turned over and buried her face in the pillow. She had to stop this. She wasn’t the only person who’d ever had to face adversity.
Seconds later she felt the sagging of the mattress and then the heaviness of an arm going around her. This was probably against the rules, too. If not the hospital’s, then it was definitely something her mother wouldn’t entirely approve of.
“You’re supposed to be sleeping,” Jase pointed out in a low voice, his breath warm on her cheek.
“I know, but I can’t stop thinking about everything,” she whispered back.
He gently slid his hand under her hair and started rubbing her back. “Whatever happens tomorrow, the next day, and all the days after that, we’ll get through it together. Real love rises above the temporal. It’s the bonding of souls which means it’s limitless, unbounded by time, place or circumstances.”
“What did I do to deserve someone like you?”
“I should be asking that question.”
A long sigh slipped through her lips. “I’m so glad you were on that plane.”
“If it hadn’t been on the plane, it would have been somewhere else. We were meant to meet again. Now, no more talking. Close your eyes and imagine we’re sitting on the back porch of your house listening to the crickets and watching the sun set.”
“If I fall asleep, you’ll leave; and I don’t want you to.”
He bent down and kissed her neck. “You don’t have to worry about that; I’m not going anywhere.”
* * * * *
Jase stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the first floor. He was on his way to the cafeteria to get coffee for himself, Rosemary’s mother, and Willow. The three of them had been sitting in the waiting room opposite the nursing station of the intensive care unit for most of the day. Their conversations had been intermittent; their thoughts and prayers were focused on the person who’d brought them together.
When he returned a short while later, only Willow remained. She answered his unspoken question.
“The surgeon just finished talking to Mrs. Sanders. Rosemary is in recovery. They were able to remove almost all of the tumor. Once she wakes up and is stable, they’ll transfer her to a room in ICU. Then we’ll be allowed to see her for a few minutes. She’ll be kind of loopy from the anesthesia as well as the medication they gave her during surgery, so don’t expect her to be alert and talking. Mrs. Sanders left to go call Rosemary’s stepfather.”
Realizing he was still standing in the middle of the room holding the tray of coffee, Jase resumed his seat and handed Willow her cup. “Any word on the initial results of the biopsy?”
“Mrs. Sanders didn’t say anything about that, and I didn’t ask.” Willow lifted the lid of her coffee to let out some of the steam. “I need to text Carl and let him know.”
“What will he tell the press?”
“As little as possible. Until we know more, there’s no point in feeding the frenzy. They’re like sharks smelling blood in the water. The more you tell them, the more questions they ask.”
He shook his head. “Talk about living in a pressure cooker.”
Willow nodded. “All everyone sees is the fame and the money. They don’t see how unnatural Rosemary’s life is, and how difficult it is for her to form close relationships. That’s why I’m so glad she found you. You’ve forced her to realize that she can’t keep putting Sage’s needs before her own.”
“I think getting sick had something to do with that, too.”
“Facing a serious health issue always makes one rethink priorities, but I noticed a difference in her when she returned to Nashville in November. When someone who hardly ever opened a book suddenly carries the same book everywhere, it’s not hard to figure out that something’s going on. Once I got her talking about you, I knew she’d found something more important than her music.”
“She means the world to me.”
Willow laughed. “I’m not much of a romantic, but when you two look at each other, I get all warm and fuzzy.”
Their conversation was interrupted by the appearance of an older couple whose son had just been brought down from surgery. As visiting hours in the ICU were only ten minutes every two hours, the wait to see Rosemary seemed endless. When the nurse finally arrived, she took Mrs. Sanders back first. Jase paced the small confines of the room until it was his turn.
The sight of Rosemary laying so still - lovely eyes closed, head covered by a bandage, and tubes running from her mouth and nose - was almost more than he could bear. Tears stung his eyes as he stepped closer to the bed and took hold of her hand. Her skin was so cold that he automatically started rubbing her hand with both of his, trying to infuse some warmth into it.
“The worst part is over, darling. Soon you’ll be going home.” His glance strayed to the blinking and beeping machines surrounding the bed before returning to her. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but I love you. I’ll always love you.” The return of the nurse took him by surprise. That had to be the fastest ten minutes ever. He bent down close to Rosemary’s ear. “I have to go now, but I’ll be back.”
When he returned later in the day, Rosemary was awake, but just barely. She stared at him somewhat blankly as if trying to figure out who he was. Then she smiled sleepily.
“Hello,” he said, leaning down to kiss her cheek.
“Are you…really here?” she asked in a raspy voice.
“Yes, darling, I’m really here.”
Her eyelids drooped. “Can’t…stay awake.”
“That’s all right. I like to watch you sleep.”
Another groggy smile appeared as her eyes closed.
The nurse came in to adjust one of the IVs. “Are you Jase?” she asked him.
“Yes, I am.”
She nodded her head. “I thought so. Miss Murphy asked for you in the recovery room.”
Hearing that Rosemary’s first thoughts had been of him brought fresh tears to his eyes.
* * * * *
The move from ICU to a regular room was the bright spot in an otherwise confusion-filled day. While Rosemary appreciated seeing her mother and Willow, the constant in her periods of wakefulness was Jase. His calm presence was like a beacon in a sea of disorientation.
The noise and nonstop activity of the hospital was unsettling. Someone was always poking her with something or asking questions she couldn’t answer. Her glance went to the bag of fluid hanging over the back of her bed and then dropped to the IV in her arm. Apparently, she’d tried to remove it yesterday. Today one of the nurses had replace
d the bandage over the incision on her head with a much smaller one, which was nice because her head itched and her skin felt tight.
Her awareness of time hadn’t caught up with everything else. Hours blended together along with the line between being asleep and awake. It was as if her brain was disconnected from the rest of her body. Simple things like making conversation, getting out of bed to walk to the bathroom or feeding herself took all of her concentration and energy. She hadn’t thought it possible to be so tired from doing so little.
Willow was sitting with her now because Jase had left to take her mother to the airport. Rosemary wished she was going home. She wasn’t sure, but she thought the doctor had said she would be discharged in the next few days.
When she woke up from yet another nap, she saw that Willow had been replaced by Jase.
“Hi,” she said, her words bringing his attention from something he was watching outside.
He got up and walked over to the bed, his fingers caressing the side of her face. “Hi, yourself.”
“I…missed you.”
“I missed you more.”
His answer made her smile. “Where’s Willow?”
“Back at the hotel taking care of something for Carl.”
The clatter of trays and aroma of food brought a frown to her face. Another meal was coming. Eating wasn’t much fun when it required so much effort and everything tasted the same.
“No food…please.”
“You have to eat something even if it’s only the Jello. I’ll feed you, if you want.”
She searched for words that should be there, but weren’t. “Like a…baby.”
“Not like a baby. You’re still out of it from a six hour surgery and heavy medication. Eating will give you energy and help you get better faster.”
“Are you…a doctor…now?”
He leaned down close to her ear. “I’m the man who loves you.”
She ran her fingers across the thick stubble of beard on his cheek. “Forgot…to shave.”
“I lost my razor, and Willow refused to let me borrow hers. She said something about me dulling the blades. Anyway, will you try to eat for me?”