Reaper (Lightbringer)
Page 18
“Then why continue with the poison?” Piotr asked, wincing as another stab of pain threaded its way through his gut. “Were you preparing for the day Mary was no longer here?”
“We thought we had many decades with Mary at the helm,” Ada said, shaking her head. “No, I continued my research after speaking with Mary herself.”
She drifted over to Wendy's desk and gestured to a framed picture on the corner of the desk. It was a snapshot from several years prior—Wendy, the twins, and her parents crouched on a pier. Wendy, no more than ten, freckle-faced, gangly, and sporting a shiny set of silver braces, sat side-by-side with her mother. Just above them her father held a twin under each arm. Everyone was smiling, happy, and almost burned as red as their hair. The picture was very solid in the Never.
“Mary came to me,” Ada said slowly, “after her first born came into this world. She was exhausted—you get very little sleep those first few months, I'm told—but still reaping every chance she could. During a reap, however, she had lost control. Her exhaustion and the untapped, unsapped power caught up with her and she burned a little too brightly.”
“She saw something nasty, didn't she?” Eddie said sharply. “The Reapers were all up in arms about stuff that lives between the worlds.”
“What? Like a balderkin?” Lily snapped. “No! Those are…those are tales you tell to keep the Lost in line! Boogie men in the dark. It is impossible.” She hesitated and Piotr felt for her. He didn't want to imagine that the creatures from between the worlds, from the darkest part of the Never, actually existed either. “It is impossible. Yes?”
“Balderkin, banshee, whatever found her, it almost destroyed her,” Ada said baldly. “Despite all her protection and careful planning, Mary came away with deep, deep damage.”
Ada held up her arm and, unbuttoning the prim pearl buttons at her cuffs, pulled her sleeve back and illustrated the damage with her fingers. “Mary had slices into her very essence, deeper than the wounds from that hook, from the back of her hand all the way to her shoulder. That beast swam up from the depths of the Never, punched through the layers of blackness between the levels of death itself, to try and attack a Reaper. It almost succeeded in killing her. She did not say how she survived, but it left a mark on her. Before she'd been quiet, reserved, withdrawn and almost sad at her lot in life, regretful. But after…after, she burned with a fierce anger. Hatred. Unbelievable fury.”
“She wanted to protect Wendy,” Piotr said, realization dawning. He could remember so very little of Mary—she was like the ghost of an image in his mind—but even with his faulty memory, Mary's love for Wendy seemed painfully obvious to him. “She wanted the poison to protect her family.”
“Her newborn daughter, yes,” Ada said, tapping the photo thoughtfully. “Such a little thing, born with a caul and curls. Mary thought Wendy might be a Reaper like she was, but had no clue that Wendy would turn out to be a natural.”
Setting down the photo gently, Ada chuckled, but her laugh was bitter and cold. “Mary was so terrified the day she discovered that Wendy had been in that car accident. She spent the next evening pacing the Top of the Mark cursing her luck and making the Council swear to keep our spirits away from Wendy until she'd concocted a plan. Mary had been a good landlord, so to speak. She had well-earned her goodwill and leverage; we agreed readily.”
“And the plan?”
“The plan was simple. I was to resume my work on the poison, preparing it for the day the Reapers returned to the Bay Area and learned of Wendy's natural status. Mary was preparing us for potential war—the spies the Reapers employ are so widespread Mary was certain that her family would return to California within weeks to stamp out the natural menace. Instead…silence. Years and years of silence.”
“Mary was so certain we'd do her dirty work for her?” Lily asked roughly. “Why should we risk our existence in a familial fight?”
Ada smiled. “You Riders were always ones to stay in the shadows, to be swift and silent and cut off from the rest of the Never. You could not have known the suffering we others endured at the hands of the Reapers. It would have taken little effort to convince most of the dead to rally to our cause.” She held up a hand, palm out. “One nick, that is all it takes, and the poison seeps within.”
“But what if you cut yourself by accident?” Eddie asked and Piotr silently applauded the sensibility of the question, the sheer practicality of his approach. “Don't you have some sort of medicine for if a ghost gets a little blade-happy?”
Ada frowned. “I hardly think I would—”
“Net, Eddie makes a good point,” Piotr agreed, steadying himself against the wall. “Is there some sort of counter-poison, Ada, or am I truly damned?”
“It needs an open wound to work,” Ada said primly, pursing her lips in irritation, “but yes, as a matter of fact, I did create an antidote. Do I look a fool to you, young man?”
“If a poultice exists, then why are we gathered here discussing this sordid history?” Lily asked, sharing Piotr's exasperation. “We ought to be on our way to fetch it right now!”
“The poison takes weeks to create, the antidote twice that,” Ada said pointedly, grabbing a handful of her dress in a fist as if she might shake the offending fist in Lily's face otherwise. “With the proper equipment and aid—and very little rest, I must add—I might be able to distill a bottle in a week, perhaps even a few days sooner, but I would need my lab and several gorged full spirit webs.”
“This can be arranged,” Lily said coolly. “Where is your lab?”
“Wait. Wait just a second,” Eddie protested. “Why are we taking her word for all this stuff without, you know, needing proof or something? She could be lying through her teeth! For all you know, she's working with the chick who did this to Piotr in the first place.”
“Piotr,” Ada addressed Piotr quietly, tilting her chin up and pointedly ignoring Eddie's outburst, “please. I feel terrible. Please allow me to aid you. I feel as if I owe you for all of this.”
Piotr turned his face away, forcibly reminded of the hissing Lady Walker and all her talk of debts owed. He shivered. So cold. It was so cold. She had been so cold.
“If this potion takes so long to brew, what do you suggest in the meantime?” he finally asked. Lily, arms crossed over her chest, sagged in relief, and Piotr realized that she had been waiting for him to fight the inevitable. He smiled to himself; she knew him too well.
“Walkers survive by consuming the souls of the Lost, yes?” Ada said slowly, glancing between Lily and Piotr. “In essence, that is the exchange of years…of willpower.”
“I do not like where this is going,” Piotr said, narrowing his eyes at Ada and feeling the world shift beneath his feet. He lay back on his elbows, resting. “Surely you do not think to suggest—”
“We could donate some of ourselves,” Ada hurried on. “Piotr could feed on us like a Walker and be healed.”
“Net,” Piotr whispered, shaking his head. “Absolutely not.”
“Nothing taken by force,” Ada hurried to add, wringing her hands. “It would be a gift from Lily and I. Nothing permanent, just enough to keep you stable.”
“That is foul!” Piotr cried, disgusted. “To do such a thing is an abomination!”
“I cannot believe I trusted you,” Lily agreed. “To suggest…no. No. It cannot be done. I did not bring you here for this. We are Riders. We do not act like Walkers. We are not depraved!”
“You do not understand,” Ada protested. “Walkers are dark, yes, they have been forced into such a terrible predicament that they found only the most awful route to be their salvation. This is a reason to pity them, not revile them! They were once alive just as you and I were. Don't they deserve some consideration?”
“I am done with this,” Piotr sneered, turning his face away from Ada. He would have turned his back on her but feared he would falter, weakening his show of disgust. “I will not consider it!”
“Um…I can offer some. Of me, I
mean,” Eddie said slowly, breaking the tension. “If eating a ghost is so bad, I can give you some of my energy, I guess. I mean, I'm not dead yet, right? So it's not the same thing. Once Wendy finds out how to put me back in my body I'll be just fine. So it's not like you're destroying someone or taking time or will or whatever off their afterlife. I'm not even dead yet. Plenty of will left in me.” Eddie smiled, nervous but willing, and Piotr was once again struck by how kind Eddie's eyes were, how gentle his grin. Wendy would be sad to miss this, Piotr realized. She would be so proud of him.
A tiny, selfish part of Piotr rejoiced that she was gone.
Clearing his throat, Piotr turned to Eddie and held out his arms. Surely this boy was not actually this good, this sweet. It had to be some sort of act. “I'm…sorry?” Piotr said. “I do not understand. Please…please explain. Why would you do this thing for me? To give of your life-force, your essence, your will, it is a very intimate, careful thing. Only the Lost have much to give. Why would you, who barely know me—my rival, who once suggested to Wendy that I might be a bad person—do such a thing?”
Eddie flushed; he jerked his chin up and looked Piotr straight in the eye. “Look, man, I didn't know you then. And, to be honest, if you died…again, I mean, if you passed into the Light or whatever, then Wendy'd be heartbroken. So maybe it's not just you. Maybe I just don't dig on the idea of Wendy being sad.”
Eddie's generosity, his putting Wendy's feelings first, made Piotr feel like the worst kind of cad. He worried most for Wendy's physical and spiritual safety, but he rarely took her feelings into consideration. Wendy was strong, Piotr knew. She was tough. Her feelings could survive a few harsh words said in the process of saving her life…right?
“You are a very thoughtful boy,” Ada said gently to Eddie, “and were your situation different, I would jump at the chance to have you help Piotr. But as you say, your body is still alive and that is not conducive to aiding Piotr. In fact, giving him your life might kill you.”
Ada reached forward and ran her fingers across the edges of Eddie's form, making him shiver. “You are weak at the edges, do you see? Fainter. Even Piotr, sick as he is, is firm in the Never. You are not. Your body is fading, am I correct? You are very far away from your shell.” She shrugged. “Who knows how long you shall last? Hours? Days? Weeks on the outside. No more.”
“Gee,” Eddie said dryly, and Piotr noted how Eddie jerked his chin up, refusing to look down at his weakening body. Then Eddie smiled hugely at Ada, his teeth big and white and square in a gigantic, bared grin as he nonchalantly said, “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Miss Ada, but I'll be fine. We need to help Piotr first. He's got important crap to do and I've just got the rest of holiday break. I know Wendy'll get to the bottom of my issue in no time flat, so no worries, yeah? Let's get Piotr healed up first.”
As much as Piotr despised Ada in this moment, and as much as he feared Eddie's closeness with Wendy, he knew that Eddie had a point and was shamed by Eddie's bravery and selflessness. Piotr knew that Wendy would be devastated if she were unable to help either of them; between Piotr's jealousy from before and his abandoning her in the hospital, they had left so much yet to discuss between them. Piotr did not want to leave Wendy with so much left unsaid. But Eddie…stubborn boy. He'd rather fade away than take that decision—whether to be with the living boy or the dead one—away from Wendy.
Eddie wasn't fighting fair.
Piotr could admire that.
“I'm starting to like you,” Piotr grumbled to Eddie. “You kiss my woman, for this I am displeased, but your heart is in the right place and for that I think I shall call you friend. Fine. We shall have it your way. We shall try this transfer then, if Ada is still willing. We heal me. Then we heal you.” Drawing on his remaining strength, Piotr slapped Eddie on the shoulder, perhaps a little harder than necessary. He smiled when Eddie winced.
“Um, thanks?” Eddie scowled slightly at Piotr. “Frankly, knowing you approve of me is nice and all, but I'll be honest—sometimes I still want to punch you in the face. At least once, just a quick pop to the nose.”
“To feel this way about Piotr, that is normal,” Lily said smoothly, flicking a derisive glance first to Piotr and then Eddie. Piotr tried not to smirk at his friend. Lily knew him better than she knew anyone else. Lily sighed at his innocent expression before turning to Ada. “You really mean to do this thing, then? To transfer your life into Piotr?”
“It is not desecration if willingly given,” Ada said evenly. “Or so I believe.”
Lily nodded. “To give of one's self is the greatest gift. So be it.” Formally she held out an arm to Piotr. “You are my friend. I give myself to you.”
“This is still wrong, I believe this to be true,” Piotr said gravely, taking Lily's wrist in his left hand and Ada's in his right. “It feels too much like being a Walker for comfort.”
“Then be uncomfortable,” Ada said tauntingly, “and get on with it.”
Drawing the essence from Lily and Ada was nothing like touching a Lost. Holding a Lost child was like a special communion; they always initiated the contact, and feeling their energy fill you was better than the first gulp of ice-cold water on a boiling hot day. It hurt a bit, but the relief, the feeling of their life filling you was like sinking into warmth and peace and soft, gentle, loving arms.
Every Lost had a different feel, flavor, a smell, some hint of energy that was just the barest taste of who they were. Dora had always felt like bubbling lemon-sweetness, effervescent and frothy. She tickled the nose. Hugging Specs had been like thumbing through an oft-loved book, with the slightly dusty scent and feel of soft, well-thumbed pages. Tubs had been like inhaling cotton candy, with sweetness that melted on the tongue, or bubbling ephemeral laughter hovering just on the edge of sound.
This, though, was completely different. Though Lily and Ada were willing, this was not a rush or a wave or a sinking into joy and light and love. This was pulling. This was digging his mental fingers into the meat of who they were and worrying their essence free. This was freely given, and yet he could tell that every second hurt them.
For a brief, glorious minute, Piotr felt his insides stop aching and firm up. They healed and he was glad of it, but the effort he expended to make sure that his organs were all in the right place was tremendous. His need was too great, he could feel it; it was just as when Wendy stood before him in all her Lightbringer glory, shifting from the being of Light to just a girl once more. Then she had been weak and vulnerable for a bare moment and now, his fingers deep into the essence of these women, Piotr could feel their vulnerability, their openness and exposure to his darker, greedier nature.
It was like there was some great glacier in him, one that had previously only been kept at bay by his constant energy, his purpose and strength. Now, still wounded, there were no barriers between the cold and his friends. Beneath his fingertips Lily's flesh darkened and grew bluish and thin. She gasped in pain and wriggled in his grip, but Piotr's fingers were sunk deep in now; he knew he didn't have to let go if he didn't want to.
“Piotr?” Eddie asked, grabbing Piotr's wrist and then yanking his hand back, hissing as if he'd been burned. “Ouch! Why are you so cold? Hey, Piotr, man, come on, let up. Piotr? PIOTR, LET GO!”
Horrified at what he was doing to Lily, Piotr stopped, feeling shaky and strange and icy all over. He was lightheaded and felt soiled, as if he'd just tried to do something nasty to his best friend and this near-stranger. He felt simultaneously degraded and degrading, as if he'd just tried to see them with their skirts up.
Ashamed of himself, Piotr turned his head away. Every nerve in his body pounded pain. He wished that he'd never listened to Ada in the first place.
“That,” Ada gasped, rubbing her wrist, “was quite painful. Far more than I expected.”
“I am cold,” Piotr whispered. “So cold. My apologies, Lily. I did not mean to hurt you. Nor you, Ada. It…I could hardly stop myself.”
“I know,” Lily said, h
olding her wrist out and examining the place where Piotr had touched her critically. “I could feel your struggle.” Her head dipped and she drew her arms back to her body, wrapping them around her torso protectively.
Ashamed, Piotr ducked his head. “If this is how Walkers feel, then I owe them a great deal of sympathy. That was a horrible experience.”
“As do I,” Lily murmured, rising and moving to stand beside the window. Her expression was shuttered. “At the very least you are in less pain, yes?”
“But he's still sick,” Ada pointed out, rifling through Wendy's makeshift first aid kit, frowning as she lifted out an unfamiliar bottle. “And since this didn't work, my only other suggestion is that we go to Alcatraz.”
“What's so special about Alcatraz?” Eddie asked, rubbing the side of his nose and taking the bottle from Ada. It was a nearly full bottle of Percocet. “I don't think either Lily or Piotr is up for traveling right now. Especially not to go on some sightseeing tour.”
Finished with her perusal of the kit, Ada sighed. “I suggest no tour, Edward, and likewise I find your humor lacking. The bulk of my lab is at Alcatraz, in the basement.”
Eddie laughed. “You're joking, right?” Ada's expression did not change. “You're not joking. Why would you set up shop someplace like Alcatraz?”
“I needed a place of constant, guaranteed energy, and tourist locations—especially ones with such negative histories—are particularly solid in the Never.” She shrugged. “You have to deal with the occasional human in the bowels of the island, but for the most part the Shades are all gone.” She slanted a glance under her lashes at Lily. “The Indian inhabitants were the ones who protested the construction of my lab the most. They have since moved on.” What was left unsaid, Piotr noticed, was the manner in which she'd moved them on. Lily frowned but kept her peace.
“So, I'm no doctor,” Eddie said, holding up the bottle, “but this is a pretty potent pain-killer. People get addicted to it, it's so strong. Do you think it'll work in the Never? On Piotr, I mean?”