Mr. Right All Along

by Jennifer Taylor

  ‘One day you’ll look back on what’s happened and it won’t hurt. You’ll be able to put it down to experience, see it as part of becoming the person you are.’ His hands smoothed down her arms, feeling the tension that made her muscles quiver, and he was filled with fear for her. He had to make her understand that even the worst experiences could have positive results.

  ‘You’ll be happy, Eve. You’ll meet someone who treats you as you deserve to be treated, fall in love, get married and have a family. You have all that ahead of you and it’s far too much to turn your back on. All you need to do is believe, Eve. It will happen. I promise you that because I’ll make sure it does!’

  CHAPTER SIX

  ‘THAT TEA’S COLD. Do you want me to make you a fresh cup?’

  Eve jumped. Glancing up, she sighed when she saw the concern on Ryan’s face. He had insisted on walking her home and coming in with her and she simply hadn’t had the strength to argue with him. What had happened in the street had shaken her. Even in her darkest moments she had never considered ending her life. She hadn’t really considered it tonight so why had she said that? Had it been a cry for help? Was that what she wanted, for Ryan to help her put her life back together? But surely it would only complicate matters even more if she came to rely on him. Ryan didn’t do commitment. He hadn’t done it when she’d known him before and, from what she had gleaned since she’d been at Dalverston, he still avoided it. Maybe he did want to help her but getting hung up on the idea that he might want to be more than a friend to her would be a mistake.

  Eve shrugged off that thought. She wasn’t looking for romance so there was no point going down that route. She dredged up a smile, feeling guilty for causing him so much distress. ‘Please. I can’t stand tepid tea.’

  ‘Don’t I know it!’ He grinned as he went to the kettle. ‘You were a real prima donna when it came to your tea.’

  ‘I beg your pardon?’ Eve stared at him in surprise and he laughed.

  ‘Come on, you know you were. How many times did I make you a cuppa when we were on nights and you refused to drink it?’ He rolled his eyes. ‘In the end I gave up and let you make it yourself. It was less expensive that way. I didn’t end up pouring umpteen cups of perfectly good tea down the drain!’

  ‘Your idea of the perfect cup of tea obviously differs from mine,’ she retorted. ‘Anyway, you can talk. You were a bit of a diva yourself when it came to your coffee.’ She mimicked his deeper tones. ‘It’s too strong, too weak, too hot, too sweet—the complaints were endless!’

  ‘Moi! A diva? Why, that’s so untrue, it’s laughable.’ He folded his arms across his chest. ‘I’ve always been a model of restraint, I’ll have you know. Having a hissy fit—or whatever the male equivalent is—isn’t in my nature. I couldn’t be a diva even if I tried!’

  ‘Oh, no?’ Eve hooted with laughter. ‘What about that time you refused to sample those cakes one of the patients brought in for us? If that wasn’t diva-ish behaviour, I don’t know what is.’

  ‘You mean the cakes that were liberally coated with cat hair? The ones that had a furry grey film stuck to the icing?’ He shook his head. ‘That wasn’t me being a diva—it was common sense. No way was I going to eat them and end up coughing up fur balls!’

  Eve laughed as he pulled a disgusted face. It was good to remember the fun they’d had. From the moment they had met there had been real rapport between them. Ryan had been the big brother she had always longed for…or that’s what she had told herself.

  She sighed. She had never thought about Ryan in romantic terms before that kiss and she couldn’t understand why. He was good-looking and personable, kind and great fun too. He had ticked so many boxes that it seemed strange that she had never considered him as boyfriend material before that night. Why not? Had it anything to do with the fact that he’d made it clear he wasn’t looking for commitment?

  Although she’d been ambitious, she had always wanted to meet the right man and fall in love. She had never seen marriage as an obstacle that would prevent her having a career because of her mother. Elizabeth Pascoe was a high-flying barrister who had balanced the demands of motherhood and career in a way that had made her daughter believe it was possible to do both successfully.

  Her father had helped of course. James Pascoe, a leading industrialist, had supported his wife every step of the way so that Eve had grown up with a can-do mentality. She’d expected to have a fulfilling career and a happy home life. It had been a given, something she had taken for granted. However, she’d realised that for it to work, she would have to find someone who was as committed to the relationship as her, and Ryan hadn’t fulfilled that criterion. He hadn’t ticked that one important box.

  ‘Here you go. Hot, not too sweet and just a dash of milk.’ He placed a fresh mug of tea in front of her. Picking up a teaspoon, he carefully stirred it. ‘And stirred in an anti-clockwise direction too.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Eve forced herself to smile, although it was a shock to discover how little had stood in the way of her and Ryan becoming more than friends. With the benefit of hindsight, she knew that he had found her attractive too so why had he never acted upon his feelings? Had he realised that he couldn’t meet her requirements or had something else stopped him? All of a sudden she needed to know.

  ‘When we knew each other before there was never any hint of romance between us, was there?’

  ‘No. We were always friends.’ He sat down, cradling his cup between his hands, hands that looked so big and strong and so utterly dependable that Eve felt a rush of emotions assail her. She wanted to reach out and hold his hand, have him hold hers too. The world would seem like a far less scary place if Ryan was holding her hand.

  ‘Why?’ She shrugged when he looked up, knowing that she couldn’t dwell on that thought. She could see the wariness in his eyes and it intrigued her. Ryan obviously wasn’t comfortable with the question but why not? ‘Didn’t you fancy me—was that it?’

  ‘No. It wasn’t that.’

  He stared into his cup and Eve held her breath. She could tell that he was debating what to say and prayed that he would tell her the truth. For some reason it seemed important that he didn’t lie about this.

  ‘I suppose the truthful answer is that I was scared.’ He looked up and her heart began to race when she saw the expression on his face. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that he was telling her the truth and all of a sudden she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear it. Once the truth was out, it couldn’t be hidden away: it would have to be faced.

  Ryan’s palms were damp. Although lying to Eve was out of the question, he couldn’t tell her the whole truth. If he told Eve why he had sworn he wouldn’t marry, she might tell him that he was wrong and he couldn’t afford to listen to her arguments, definitely couldn’t allow himself to be swayed by them as might very well happen. He knew what he had to do and it was more important than ever that he stuck to it.

  ‘I knew that if we did have an affair, it would be impossible to do what I had to do,’ he said, his voice grating because it was hard to keep control of his emotions.

  ‘And what did you have to do?’

  ‘Raise money in Scott’s name and make sure that other families wouldn’t have to go through what mine went through.’ He shrugged. ‘I didn’t have time for a relationship. I still don’t, in fact.’

  ‘I see. Is that why you were so distant after you kissed me that night?’

  ‘Yes. I knew it would be wrong to move our relationship in a different direction so I decided it was better if I stayed away from you.’

  ‘I see. But surely your brother wouldn’t have wanted you to put your life on hold because of him?’

  It was something Ryan had thought about many times, but it always came back to the same thing: how could he fall in love and get married when he could never risk having a family?

  ‘Probably not but it’s something I need to do.’ He grimaced. ‘When Scott first died, I went a little crazy and did all
sorts of stupid things. I suppose I was tempting fate, challenging it to do its worst to me as it had done to my brother.’ He sighed. ‘Fortunately, I got it out of my system before anything awful happened. My parents had started fundraising by then and I got involved as well. It helped to have something to focus on. Maybe things will change in the future—who knows? But at the moment it’s important to me that I do what I can to raise money for those defibrillators.’

  ‘It’s a very worthy cause,’ she said softly, and Ryan felt worse than ever when he heard the approval in her voice. However, short of making a full confession, there was little he could do.

  He stood up, suddenly anxious to bring the evening to an end. A lot had happened tonight and he needed to go home and regroup. Eve was right—he had been attracted to her in the past, just as he was attracted to her now, but he wouldn’t do anything about it once again. She deserved so much more than he could give her: a happy marriage; a loving family; all the things a woman needed. He was no use to her as a lover but he could help her as a friend.

  It was a small sop to know that, so small that it barely mopped up the edges of the pain as he took his leave. As he made his way home, Ryan couldn’t help imagining how different his life would be if there weren’t all these restrictions. Maybe Eve wasn’t ready for another relationship yet but he could wait. And when she was ready…

  His head reeled as pictures came flooding in, pictures of him and Eve doing what lovers did best. The thought of kissing her, caressing her, running his hands over her made him shudder with longing. How he ached to touch her, yearned to feel her body soft and pliant under his. He’d made love to a lot of women, although not as many as people believed, but making love to Eve would be very different. Special. In the past it had been a purely physical experience but with Eve his mind as well as his body would be engaged. Nothing would ever match it. Nothing could better it. It would be the most wonderful, most meaningful experience he’d ever had.

  Only it was never going to happen. Never in a million years!

  Ryan stopped dead. He had to. He simply couldn’t walk when he could no longer breathe. He felt so empty, empty and alone, and it was the worst feeling ever. Without Eve in his life he would have nothing, but having her would mean she had even less. He couldn’t do that to her, couldn’t take away the future she was trying so desperately to reclaim. If he cared about her at all then he had to help her put her life back together. And let her go.

  * * *

  Eve finished seeing Daisy Martin and her parents out of the unit. The little girl was much better and had been discharged. She waved as the family stepped into the lift, mentally crossing her fingers that she wouldn’t see them again soon. Daisy had been through a lot and she deserved a run of good health.

  ‘Was that the Martins leaving?’

  Eve looked round when Ryan came to join her. He had been the same as he always was, considerate and caring with the patients, and fun with the staff. Nevertheless, she had noticed a change in him since the night he had walked her home and it troubled her. She hated to think that he was worrying about her when there was no need. Since hitting an all-time low that night, she had felt much better, more positive and in control. It felt as though she had turned a corner and it was a wonderful feeling, so wonderful that she decided to share it with him. Maybe it would make him feel better too.

  ‘Yes. Apparently, they’re hoping to go over to Jamaica to visit Daisy’s grandmother. They asked me what I thought and I told them I thought it was a great idea. The warmth will do wonders for Daisy’s condition.’

  ‘It will.’ Ryan grinned at her. ‘I wouldn’t mind a couple of weeks in the sun either. It was bitter on the hills last night when I went out running.’

  ‘When are you planning on doing this challenge?’ Eve asked as they made their way to the office.

  ‘Easter weekend.’

  ‘But that’s the end of this week!’

  ‘Don’t remind me.’ He grimaced as he typed his password into the computer. ‘I was puffing like an old steam engine when I got home last night. It doesn’t bode well for my chances of completing this challenge.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sure you’ll manage,’ she said encouragingly, but he raised a sceptical brow.

  ‘Hmm, we’ll see.’

  He turned his attention to the screen, not giving her a chance to say anything else. Eve decided it could wait until later so after she had found the file she needed she headed for the door. She paused when she heard him curse.

  ‘Damn! I don’t believe it.’

  ‘Something wrong?’ Eve asked, glancing back.

  ‘Too right there is. I’ve just had an email from Harry Summers to say that he won’t be able to make it this weekend after all. It appears he tripped over in A and E last night and strained a tendon.’ He groaned. ‘I don’t know what we’re going to do now. We won’t be able to go unless we can find someone to replace him.’

  ‘Because of losing his sponsorship money?’ Eve queried.

  ‘No. Harry had agreed to act as our medic. We have to take someone along who isn’t actually involved in the climb in case anyone gets injured.’

  ‘Is that really necessary? I mean, everyone’s medically trained.’

  ‘Yes, they are. But our main sponsor insisted that we take someone along purely to deal with any injuries. I think they’re worried in case they get sued if something happens,’ he added dryly.

  ‘Seems highly unlikely to me but I suppose you have to go along with what they want. I take it that they’ve pledged a lot of money?’

  ‘Five thousand pounds, plus another five if we do some publicity for them afterwards.’

  ‘That is a lot! I can see why you don’t want to lose it.’

  ‘Exactly. So now I need to find someone willing to give up their weekend…’ He stopped and stared at her. ‘You’re not working over Easter, are you, Eve?’

  ‘No,’ she said slowly, because she had a nasty suspicion that she knew what was coming.

  ‘In that case, will you come along? You’d be doing me a huge favour. At this late stage it’s doubtful if I can find anyone willing to give up their weekend, which means I’ll have to call it off, and that would be a disaster. So will you, Eve? Please?’

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  SIX O’CLOCK SATURDAY morning and it was freezing. Eve stamped her feet, hoping to generate some feeling in her numb toes. Ryan had told her to wear warm clothing and she’d thought she had followed his brief but apparently not. She’d end up with pneumonia at this rate!

  The sound of an engine made her look round and she sighed in relief when she saw a minibus turning into the road. Ryan was picking her up first and then going to collect the rest of the party. At least she’d be able to thaw out once she was on the bus.

  He drew up beside her, grinning as he climbed out of the driving seat. ‘All ready for the off?’ he asked, picking up her holdall.

  ‘Too right.’ Eve left him to toss her bag into the back and climbed aboard, shivering when she was assailed by a blast of warm air. ‘If I’d had to stand there much longer, I’d have turned to ice,’ she said as he got back into the cab. ‘It’s freezing this morning.’

  ‘It is cold for April,’ he agreed as he started the engine. He pulled away from the kerb then glanced at her, frowning as he took stock of what she was wearing. ‘Haven’t you anything warmer than that jacket?’

  ”Fraid not.’ Eve huddled into the seat, soaking up the warmth like a sponge soaking up water. ‘There wasn’t any need for warm clothing where I was living before and I haven’t had chance to buy much since I came back. This is the warmest coat I own.’

  ‘Well, it definitely won’t be warm enough where we’re going.’ Ryan checked his mirrors then made a U-turn.

  Eve frowned. ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘Getting you some warm clothes to wear, of course.’ He smiled at her. ‘We can’t have our replacement medic going down with frostbite, can we?’

  Eve laughed, altho
ugh she couldn’t help the flutter her heart gave when she saw the concern in his eyes. Ryan cared about her in so many different ways and it showed. It didn’t seem wise to say anything, however, so she shrugged. ‘I doubt if you’ll find any shops open at this hour of the day.’

  ‘Oh, we’re not going shopping,’ he assured her, turning down a side street lined with beautiful old Victorian houses. He drew up outside the end one and switched off the engine. ‘We’re going to raid my mum’s wardrobe. It’ll be a lot cheaper, believe me.’

  He jumped down from the bus before Eve could protest. She followed more slowly, unsure how she felt about the idea. It wasn’t the thought of wearing someone else’s clothes that bothered her but how it might appear. She didn’t want people thinking that she and Ryan were an item.

  Did she?

  Eve bit her lip as she followed him up the path. He had his own key and let them in then headed along the hall. She trailed after him, trying to make sense of the emotions swirling around inside her. Whilst she didn’t need any more complications in her life, she couldn’t put her hand on her heart and swear that she hated the idea of people thinking she and Ryan were a couple. She didn’t hate it at all, not even a little bit, and it was scary to admit it, scarier still to realise how tempting it actually was to turn fiction into fact. But would she be doing it for the right reasons? Because she wanted to be with Ryan? Or was it because it would make her feel normal to have a handsome boyfriend? She would be like everyone else then and no longer a victim.

  ‘Ryan! What are you doing here at this hour of the morning?’

  Eve jumped when she heard a woman’s voice. She paused in the doorway, overcome by shyness. The woman sitting at the table had to be Ryan’s mother—there was no mistaking the resemblance. She suddenly spotted Eve and stood up, smiling warmly as she came over to her.

  ‘Hello. You must be Eve. Ryan told me that you’d agreed to go along on his latest jaunt and help out.’