“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“At first I thought this was about your mom, but you’ve been calling other people and asking about how someone’s doing. I don’t want to pry, but…did something happen when you were home?”
Joker sighed and slouched down in his seat. “A lot of things happened while I was home.”
“Want to talk about it?” Ghost asked. Joker looked at his friend, seeing concern etched across his strong features. He and Ghost had been friends for years, even before joining the military together. Joker always knew when something was bothering Ghost just like Ghost always knew when something was up with Joker. Ghost was like the brother he never had, so it wasn’t an issue to finally confide in him about what happened at the cabin.
He told Ghost about Parker breaking into the cabin and needing help. He relayed the story from start to finish, omitting the romantic details. Ghost listened intently and when Joker finally finished, he blew out a breath.
“Damn, man,” Ghost mused, shaking his head. “It seems like all the women we fall for are women we’ve saved.”
“I guess so.”
“Do you have feelings for her?” he asked. Joker shrugged.
“I don’t know. It’s hard to think about feelings in a situation where we’re both vulnerable. I was grieving and she was scared.”
“But if you didn’t, I don’t think you’d be checking on her as much as you are, especially while you’re over here,” Ghost noted.
“I just wanted to make sure she was okay. It’s my fault things ended how they did.”
“From what you told me, there’s really no way that could’ve been your fault. You did everything you could. At the end of the day, you can’t save everyone. You can only give them the tools to save themselves.”
“But—”
“Joker, you did the best you could. Neither of you knew where he was or when he was coming. You can’t know when someone’s going to attack. You prepared her the best you could.”
“Yeah,” Joker said. He and Parker did the best they could. All that mattered was that she was going to be okay. He wondered if she was angry that he was too late. He wouldn’t blame her if she were. He beat himself up every day for what happened.
“Joker,” Ghost said, interrupting his thoughts as he clapped his shoulder. “She’s going to be okay because of you. Don’t overthink it.”
Joker simply nodded, his thoughts drifting to Parker. I’ll see you soon, baby girl.
Chapter 13
Parker
It’d been almost six months since she’d woken up and it was days like today that she wished she never did. It was like drifting off from one hell only to wake up in another type of hell. Physical therapy was painful despite the progress she’d made and she hated that her parents were extremely overbearing and that Ethan wasn’t here.
Ethan. Her last memory of that night was of him running down the shore towards her, yelling her name. All she could think in that moment was that he was too late, that she was going to die. She didn’t blame him. He’d told her to keep the gun with her at all times and she’d let her guard down and left it behind. She should’ve known that he wouldn’t have knocked when he came back from the store. He would’ve had more sense than that. She’d made bad decision after bad decision in that moment and it was a miracle she was even alive right now.
Walking was exhausting. Her legs had healed okay, only a little sore when she worked them, but her hip was still a work in progress. She had nightmares of Jarrod shooting her over and over again, her mind wandering into what could’ve happened had Ethan not shown up when he did. She was disappointed that Jarrod hadn’t died from his injuries, but was glad that he was back in prison with no chance of getting out now that he had attempted murder added to his previous drug charges.
Her parents had moved her back to California to help with her recovery. They’d set up her dad’s office into her bedroom so she didn’t have to struggle with the stairs. She sat on her bed and looked out the window, seeing a group of runners making their way down the sidewalk and a woman walking her dog. Mr. Trenton, who’d lived in the house across the street for as long as she could remember, checked his mailbox, waving to the lady walking the dog. Life moved on around her, but she still felt stuck. She felt like she was still stuck at the cabin, still on the verge of dying, but this time she didn’t feel scared. She felt numb. She’d hardly said a word since waking up, only answering when absolutely necessary. The doctors thought she might’ve gone mute due to trauma, but she just didn’t have the energy to form words and thoughts right now. All she wanted was to see or speak to Ethan and thank him for what he’d done for her.
She grabbed her crutches from the wall near the foot of her bed and hoisted herself up, wincing as a sharp ache radiated from her hip. She slipped her feet into her slippers and made her way to the kitchen, where she heard her father on the phone.
“Yeah, she’s doing really well now. She’s up and walking, so that’s always good. Still not saying much though,” he said. Parker ground her teeth, becoming upset that she couldn’t get to him faster to tell him not to tell her business to everyone on the planet as he’d been doing since she’d been awake. When she finally reached the kitchen, she saw her father sitting at the island. He looked up at her in slight surprise.
“Who are you talking to?” she asked, her voice flat but stern. “I’d rather you not tell everyone every single little thing about me. It’s bad enough that I have to live it. I don’t want to feel embarrassed about it, too.”
“Well, um…I’m actually talking to Ethan, honey.”
Her eyes widened. “Ethan?” Her heart skipped a beat. He’d been calling to check on her? “Can I…talk to him?”
Her dad looked at her for a moment and sighed softly. “Uh Ethan, Parker would like to talk to you,” he said into the phone. After a few moments, he stood from the counter and walked around to her, handing her to phone.
“Ethan?” she said.
“Hey, baby girl,” he replied. His voice was like the balm she needed to soothe her emotional and mental wounds. It had been so long since she’d heard his voice, almost forgetting what it sounded like. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m getting there,” she said, easing into the dining chair her father had gotten for her. “Where are you? And why am I just now hearing from you?”
“I’m still deployed, but I’ll be home in a couple of weeks. And your dad said that you weren’t talking to anyone, so I wasn’t sure if you’d wanted to talk.” He was silent for a moment. “I’m glad you’re okay. It’s good to hear your voice.”
“It’s great to hear yours, too. I would’ve talked to you.” Tears burned her eyes. “I hope it’s not weird to say I miss you.”
He chuckled. “It’s not weird at all. I miss you too. Look, I have to get back to work, but I’ll talk to you again soon, okay?”
“Okay,” she said, sadness filling her again. “Be safe.”
“I will. I’ll check in again in a few days.”
The line went dead. Parker sighed and put the phone on the counter. Now what? Talking to Ethan for those couple of minutes was the only bright spot she’d had in the last few months. Everything else didn’t seem to matter.
“You okay, honey?” her father finally asked, pulling up a chair to sit across from him. She shook her head. She was far from okay.
“How long has he been calling?” she asked.
“Ever since he left. He calls at least one a week to check on you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“At first he wasn’t sure if you’d even want to talk to him,” her dad admitted with a sigh. “He thought you might be upset with him.”
Parker’s forehead creased in confusion. “Why would he think I’d be mad at him? He’s the reason I’m alive.”
“He blames himself for allowing Jarrod to get to you.”
Parker leaned back against the chair, shaking her head. “He couldn’t have known. I di
dn’t even know until it was too late.”
“I’m sure that’s the case, but he took it very hard.” He took his daughter’s hand in his. “He saw you every day until he had to leave. He’s a really good guy.”
“He is,” Parker replied, a tear rolling down her cheek as she smiled. “I’m very grateful to have met him.”
“Thankfully he didn’t shoot you when you broke into the cabin,” her father mentioned. She nodded and wiped her eyes.
“Yeah, thank God for that. I don’t think I could take anymore bullets,” she said and then sighed. “I didn’t even know him that long and I have these feelings I can’t really explain. I thought it was just because of everything that was going on back then, but I still have them.”
“Nothing wrong with that, honey. I was in love with your mother when I first laid eyes on her, before I even talked to her. Sometimes people just click immediately.”
“I guess that’s what happened. After we got over me breaking into the cabin, everything else felt natural with him. I mean it took him a little bit to really warm up to me, but once he did, everything just felt good. There were times where I’d momentarily forgot that I was running from Jarrod. He made me feel safe. I hate that he doesn’t think he did that.”
“It may take some time, but I think he’ll forgive himself one day.”
Parker nodded. “I really hope so.”
Parker winced as she gripped the bars of the parallel bar and put weight on her hip. She’d pushed through physical therapy for the last couple of weeks, but it didn’t seem as if it were getting any easier. If she’d only been shot in the hip, she would’ve been fully recovered by now. But since she had multiple injuries, she’d had to take her physical therapy in phases, starting with her legs. It took a couple of months to rehabilitate her legs, but her hip was being a pain in the ass.
“One step at a time, Parker,” her physical therapist, Rachel, said.
Parker took a couple of steps, pain settling in her hip with each step before she finally stopped halfway through the bars. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“You’re doing great. Pace yourself. This isn’t a race,” Rachel coaxed, patting her shoulder. Parker sighed. She thought that she’d be better off and walking unassisted by now, but her recovery had been long. She was able to walk short distances without her crutches until the pain became too much for her to bear, but it still frustrated her that she still needed them. There were people who’d started at the same time as her and they were well on their way and walking without depending on anything. Rachel tried to assure her and tell her that she was dealing with more than they had, but it didn’t change how she felt. She was broken, as if she’d never heal or be the same again.
She continued pushing herself, walking up and down through the bars. Fatigue and pain started to settle in. She looked up at the clock, seeing she still had twenty minutes left in her session. With the throbbing in her hip, she wasn’t sure she’d last that long.
“You’re doing great, honey,” her father’s voice said across the room. Parker scowled.
“Dad, you know I hate it when you and Mom watch me do this,” she mumbled.
“You know I can’t help myself,” he said as he crossed the room, looking to Rachel. “How’s she doing?”
“She’s doing really well. I can see she’s pushing through the pain and really trying.”
“Sheesh, I leave you alone for a few months and you go and morph into Superwoman,” a familiar voice said. Parker’s head snapped toward the door and she gasped.
“Ethan!” she exclaimed, excitement coursing through her. He smiled at her as he walked into the room. His beautiful hair fell around his shoulders, his blue eyes twinkling as he looked at her. He wore a fitted white t-shirt and denim blue jeans that fit him perfectly paired with black Converse sneakers. He stopped a few feet away from the parallel bars and opened his arms.
“Can you walk to me and give me a hug?” he asked.
She looked down at the bars and up at the distance between them. Her hip was really bothering her, but Ethan was here. He was finally back and she wanted nothing more than to fall into his arms and be enveloped in his warmth. She took a step, fighting the urge to whimper as the pain increased. Just a few more steps.
When she reached the end of the bars, she looked up at him. He was so close but so far. Noticing her hesitation, Ethan took a step forward, but Parker raised her hand.
“No. I can do it,” she said, straightening her posture. She let go of the bars, taking a few moments to steady herself. Rachel and her father moved closer to her, one hand hovering behind her and the other hovering in front. She took slow steps, keeping her eyes on Ethan’s gorgeous smile.
“You’re doing amazing, baby girl,” he coaxed. “But my arms are getting tired and I’m anxious to hug you.”
Parker giggled. “Hey, I’m doing the best I can. Your arms will be okay,” she retorted. She finally took the last step and tightly wrapped her arms around his neck, tears streaming down her cheeks. He embraced her gently, burying his face into her neck.
“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered. Parker held on, scared that he’d disappear if she let go. She looked up at him, her fingers touching his hair.
“You’re wearing your hair down,” she said with a giggle.
Ethan smirked. “Well, a certain beautiful woman said that she thought it was sexy, so I figured I could leave it loose for a little bit,” he said. He leaned down and kissed her softly, his arms slightly tightening around her. Satisfaction flowed through her as they kissed. Everything suddenly felt right. For six months, she’d felt numb and empty, no desire to talk to anyone or do much of anything outside of physical therapy. It was as if her life was on pause the entire time and the play button was finally pressed when Ethan reappeared. She didn’t know how much she’d actually missed him until she was back in his arms. She’d missed the scent of his intoxicating cologne, the mixture of sandalwood, cinnamon, and bergamot filling her with warmth. She missed how the stubble on his face tickled her skin as he nuzzled against her. She’d noticed that he contained the strength he possessed while he hugged her, being careful not to hurt her.
Her father cleared his throat, interrupting their moment. Joker smiled and gave her a quick peck on the lips. “I think I need to let you finish your session,” Joker said.
The smile that had been on her face since he arrived faded. “You’re leaving? But you just got—”
“You’ll see me after you leave here. Your mom invited me for dinner tonight and I just couldn’t say no.”
Parker laughed. “Knowing my mom, I’m pretty sure she didn’t let you say no,” she teased.
Joker rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled. “You’re right about that. She actually said if I didn’t come, she’d find a way to string me up like a piñata and whack me with a rubber hammer.”
Parker and her dad laughed. That definitely sounded like her demanding mother who always got what she wanted. “Well, then I’ll see you in a little bit.”
“You shall,” he said, kissing her hand. She watched as her dad and Ethan left the room. Rachel came to stand next to her.
“He must be something special,” she said. “This is the first time I’ve seen you smile since you’ve been here.”
Parker grinned. He was definitely something special. And now that he was back, everything felt right again.
Chapter 14
Joker
“It’s still hard to believe you’re still here,” Parker murmured as she looked up at him, her fingertips caressing his face. They lay across her bed, Joker holding her close to him. It felt good to be with her again. When he’d seen her walking in physical therapy earlier today, he had to fight back tears as she walked to him. Words couldn’t express how proud he was of her for fighting to get to where she was. He knew that her recovery would take a while, but it made him happy to see that she hadn’t given up.
“I told you I’d be back,” he said. When
she stared blankly at him, he continued. “I’d promised you in the hospital that I’d be back. You didn’t think you could get away from me that easily, did you?”
“Goodness, so obsessed with me,” she joked, her face suddenly growing serious. “Ethan…I don’t want you to blame yourself for what happened. Neither of us knew this would happen.”
Joker sighed and rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. “I know but it doesn’t stop me from thinking I could’ve done something different.”
Parker slowly sat up on her elbow and looked down at him. “Think of it this way; who’s to say he wouldn’t have followed us to the grocery store? Or followed me to wherever you were taking me to keep me safe and decided to strike when I was left alone? There are so many other things that could’ve happen. He’d actually been nearby before he actually decided to attack, but neither of us saw him.”
Joker looked over at her. “He told you that?” he asked.
Parker lowered her eyes. “He said he saw us on the couch together that night when we…you know.” She swallowed. “He um…he’d asked me if I’d slept with you that night since he thought things looked hot and heavy between us. When I didn’t give him the answer he wanted, he shot me in the hip.”
Joker ground his teeth, anger creeping into him. “I wish I would’ve killed him,” he growled. Parker snuggled up against him and put her head on his shoulder.
“He doesn’t matter anymore. From what I’ve heard, he’ll never see the light of day again.”
“Even if that’s the case, I still wish I’d killed him for what he did to you.”
Parker turned his face to hers and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I’m fine. We’re fine. Everything will be fine.”
He sighed and turned on his side, wrapping an arm around her. “I know, but it still would’ve been nice to kill him,” he said with a grin. Parker giggled and shook her head.
Jostling Joker (Special Forces: Operation Alpha) (A SEALed Brotherhood Novella Book 3) Page 9
