“You just won’t let that go, will you?” she asked.
“Nope.” She sighed softly, her brown eyes searching his face. The bruising he’d seen on her before he left was long gone and she was back to looking like her usual, beautiful self. She had lost a little weight and looked a bit frail, but she was alive and breathing, which was the only thing he cared about.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, caressing her face. She smiled.
“Yeah, I’ve heard that a time or two in my day,” she mused, giggling when Joker playfully rolled his eyes. “But thank you, though I look kind of pathetic right now.”
“Pathetic? Pathetic where?”
She gestured up and down her body. “Do you see how skinny I am now?”
“Hmm…” He moved his hand down her back and squeezed her ass. “Your ass still feels as soft as it did the last time I squeezed it.”
She laughed and playfully slapped his arm. “You’re still full of shit,” she said.
“Anything to put a smile on that beautiful face of yours,” he said and kissed her.
A knock sounded on the door. “Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes, love birds,” Miranda said from the hallway.
“Thanks,” Parker called back before turning back to him, her eyes filled with adoration.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she whispered, kissing him again. Joker smiled, feeling warm all over at her words.
“I’m glad because I think you’re kind of stuck with me.”
Joker helped her get settled at the dining table before taking a seat next to her, her parents sitting across from them. Miranda had prepared baked pork chops, mashed potatoes, and sautéed string beans, which all looked delicious.
Joker’s mind drifted back to his mom, his heart aching in his chest. When he came home from deployments, it was usually tradition that she’d make him a big meal. So big in fact that he’d have to invite the whole team over or else there would be leftovers that would end up going to waste. It felt odd to come home and know that there wasn’t a meal waiting for him. It was godsend that Miranda invited him over for dinner. It almost felt as if his mom was here in spirit.
“Everything okay?” Parker whispered to him. He nodded and looked to Miranda.
“This looks good. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble,” he said.
Gerald scoffed as he stuck a fork into a pork chop and put it on his plate. “This woman looks for any and every opportunity to cook something. Usually it’s just the two of us, so dinners are rather small and simple. Anytime she can entertain people and cook, she’s happy,” he said.
Miranda waved him off. “Oh hush. I’m just glad Ethan decided to join us,” she said.
Joker smiled. “Thank you for inviting me. I um…I lost my mom earlier this year and usually when I’d come home from a deployment, she’d always make a big dinner for the guys and me. And with her being gone…it was weird to come home and not have that dinner with her.”
Miranda put a hand on her chest. “Oh Ethan, I’m so sorry—”
“No, it’s okay,” he interrupted with a small smile. “I think everything happens for a reason. I want to think that my mom set it up to where I still got my ‘welcome home’ dinner somehow.”
Gerald nodded. “Then we can make that part of our tradition. You saved our daughter’s life and we’re forever grateful for you. You’re part of the family now.”
“Do you know how hard it is to get my dad to say that? He’s literally sat down with a shotgun with every boyfriend I’ve ever had,” Parker said with a giggle.
Boyfriend? Perhaps he was thinking too much into what she said, but he made a mental note to ask her about it later. He fixed his plate and engaged in conversation with them.
“So how long have you been in the military, Ethan?” Miranda asked as she cut into her pork chop.
“Almost 11 years. I enlisted right out of high school.”
“That’s great. Thanks for what you do for the country,” Gerald said, raising his glass of pop toward him.
“No problem. It’s something I love doing.”
“Now that you’re back, what will you be doing now? Back to work as usual?” Parker asked. Joker shook his head.
“I have a little time off before going back on assignment. Just going to try to relax a bit. The last mission was hectic.”
And it was. The mission he’d been on was probably one of the most hardest he’d had in his entire career. Trying to infiltrate a terrorist cell should’ve been routine, but so many unexpected things went wrong. Information about their presence had been leaked and their base was ambushed. Bullseye had been shot in the shoulder during the attack and there were a couple of casualties from another team, but his team was able to come back home to their families. Some of those men weren’t so lucky.
“Well, we’re glad to have you join us tonight,” Miranda exclaimed.
“It’s not like you really gave the man a choice,” Gerald mumbled under his breath, which earned him a glare from Miranda.
Joker chuckled. “It’s no big deal. Thank you for inviting me, Miranda.”
“Of course, sweetie.” She looked at Parker. “Are you not hungry, honey?”
Parker blinked and focused her gaze on her mother. “Sorry. I guess I spaced out for a second there.”
“You okay?” Joker asked, looking over at her.
“Yeah, I’m good,” she replied with a small smile, reaching for the mashed potatoes. Joker handed them to her, watching her as she scooped some on her plates. She glanced at him, giving him a soft smile when she realized his eyes were still on her. “Really, Ethan. I’m fine.”
He nodded and turned his attention to his plate. He listened as they told him stories about Parker growing up. She hid her face behind her hands when they’d said anything she thought was embarrassing, which he thought was cute.
“One time Parker wanted to marry Dwayne Johnson and cried for two hours because we told her he couldn’t marry children,” Gerald said. Joker chuckled.
“I can see it now. Baby Parker throwing a tantrum because she can’t marry a grown man,” Joker teased.
Parker playfully pushed him. “Shut up. I knew at a young age that I wanted to smell what The Rock was cooking,” she retorted. Joker snorted and shook his head.
“Well you’re old enough now. You can marry him if you want.”
“Nah,” she said, shaking her head. “I think I’ve met someone who’s probably more interesting than him.”
“Are you two dating then?” Miranda asked, eyeing them.
“Uh…” Parker hesitated and looked at him. Were they dating? Did he want them to date? He thought about what Ghost had said when Joker had told him about what happened. Ghost had been right. If Joker didn’t have feelings for Parker, he wouldn’t have been as concerned about her. He’d helped plenty of women, but never created an attachment to any of them the way he’d done with Parker. There was something about her that made his life a little brighter, made his heart beat a little faster when she was near him, and filled him with warmth when she smiled at him. He’d thought about her every day for those eight months he’d been away—two months in which he prayed for her to wake up—and having her in his life again. He was absolutely sure he didn’t want to risk losing her again.
“I’d like that if it’s okay with her,” he answered, gazing down at her. She smiled and shyly looked down.
“I’d like that, too.”
He took her hand into his and kissed the back of it. “Then I guess that’s settled,” he said. Miranda clasped her hands together.
“Oh, that’s just wonderful. At least we’ll know that she’s in good hands if she’s with you,” she said.
“Always,” Joker answered, though he hadn’t taken his eyes off Parker. It had been a while since he’d been in a relationship. He’d had flings here and there, but nothing that made him want to settle down and take himself off the market. Parker was different. She made him feel things he hadn’t
felt in a long time, things he hadn’t felt since he and his high school sweetheart ended things. He thought he’d lost his purpose after the death of his mother, but Parker came right on time to remind him that the world needed him. That she needed him. He was wanted. And as he looked at the faces around the table, he saw that he belonged.
A smile touched his lips as he finished the rest of his food. He didn’t think it got any better than that.
Parker winced as he helped her into bed. “Need anything for pain?” he asked, sitting on the side of the bed. She leaned back against the pillows and closed her eyes.
“Yeah. I think I overdid it today,” she said, her voice tight with agony.
“Where’s your medicine?”
“Dresser.”
Joker strolled over to the dressed and picked up the two prescription bottles he saw, unsure of which one was for pain. He handed them both to her, watching as she read the labels and eventually popped one open and shook two pills into her hand. She grabbed the bottled water from the nightstand and downed the medicine, closing her eyes again.
“It’s getting late. I should probably get going,” Joker said, taking her hand into his. She looked at him with sleepy eyes and pouted.
“Can’t you stay with me tonight?” she whined.
He leaned down and kissed her. “You need to rest tonight. We have plenty of time to spent with each other now.”
She held his gaze for a few moments. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow?” she asked, her voice small.
“Of course.”
“Okay then.” She yawned. “You know what I just realized?”
“What’s that?”
“I never got your number,” she said and gave him a half smirk. “Hey there, good looking. How about you give me your digits so I can call you?”
Joker laughed. “Is that your pickup line?”
“What can I say? I’m a little rusty. Have pity on me since I’m all broken and stuff.”
He took her hand into his and shook his head. “You’re not broken, Parker. You’re one of the strongest people I know.”
“That means a lot coming from the strongest person I know,” she murmured with a small smile. “But seriously, I do want your number though.”
She gave him her phone and he put his number in it, calling his own phone to be able to save it. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” he said as he stood and kissed her on the forehead.
“Yeah, tomorrow,” she said with another yawn and closed her eyes. He turned off the lamp on her nightstand and crossed over to the door. With his hand on the doorknob, he turned back and looked at her now sleeping form, a small smile settling on his lips. He didn’t expect much when he’d booked that cabin months ago. He damn sure didn’t expect to play bodyguard to a stranger and he hadn’t expected to actually like her. Months after that, he didn’t expect to be in a relationship, but here he was. He believed everything happened for a reason. Life had a funny way of bringing people together. He wouldn’t be surprised if his mom was the angel that sent Parker to him when he needed someone, just as he was led to Parker when she was in need of someone. He softly closed the door, no longer feeling empty, alone, guilty, or angry as he did when his mother first passed. Now he felt fulfilled, comforted, and happy.
He said good night to Miranda and Gerald and walked out to his Jeep, his grin turning into a full smile. His mother may not be here physically, but it didn’t mean his life had to stop. He didn’t know what the future held for him and Parker, but he was down for the ride no matter what.
Chapter 15
Parker
Parker had never felt more alive than she did now. She and Ethan had been dating for a few weeks and she felt herself falling for him more and more each day. They’d gone on dates, he helped her with her physical therapy, and he came to her parents’ house to spend time with her when he got off work each day. He made her feel special, something she couldn’t remember feeling in previous relationships. Despite all of that, she was still hesitant. Jarrod had started out this way. He used to be so sweet to her, buying her flowers for no reason, taking her out on dates, and coming over just to cuddle with her because he missed her. But once he got comfortable, things started to change. She couldn’t see Ethan hurting her in the way that Jarrod had, but it didn’t stop her mind from thinking about the possibilities.
“I just realized something,” Ethan suddenly said as they were stretched out across his couch cuddling.
“Hmm?”
“I never got that steak you were going to make for me,” he mused. Parker swallowed hard as memories of that night came flooding in. She remembered Ethan going to the store to get the things she needed for dinner and how Jarrod had shown up. Flashbacks of the fight rolled through her mind, phantom pains pulsing through her from the wounds that were now scars as she thought about being shot.
She bolted upright on the couch, her chest feeling tight as if someone was squeezing her in a bear hug. Ethan looked at her and sat up beside her.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, concern etched across his face.
“I…” Parker couldn’t think of words to say as the flashbacks played over and over in her mind. Her body shook and tears welled in her eyes, alarming Ethan.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her a little closer to him.
She took deep breaths and wiped away a few tears that managed to fall. “Why didn’t you get that steak, Ethan?” she asked, hearing how shaky her voice was. He was quiet for a minute before realization dawned on him.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Parker. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking,” he said, hugging her tight. She cried on his shoulder, realizing that the entire time she’d been recovering, she never let herself deal with the trauma of what happened to her. She was so focused on just getting her life back to normal physically that she didn’t give her mental state a second thought. Now, something as simple as mentioning a steak was enough to trigger her. Apparently she wasn’t as strong as she wanted everyone to believe.
Ethan stroked her back as he held her. “I feel like such an asshole right now,” he murmured. Parker pulled away and wiped her eyes. It was embarrassing for something so small to have such a big impact on her.
She shook her head. “It’s not your fault. I know you didn’t mean it that way,” she said, her voice small.
“Yeah, but I should’ve thought about that—”
Parker held her hand up. “Something as simple as asking for a steak shouldn’t set me off. I think it may be time to go to therapy about this. Simply moving forward isn’t going to change what happened and if I don’t deal with it, I’ll remain mentally broken. I’m sure you wouldn’t want an emotional fool for a girlfriend,” she mumbled, unable to meet his gaze.
“Parker,” Ethan said, his voice firm.
“Yeah?”
“Look at me.”
“But—”
“Look. At. Me,” he stated again, his authoritative tone demanding her attention. She slowly met his gaze, slightly terrified that his usual warm blue eyes were now cold. His lips were pulled in a frown and his jaw was set, as he if were clenching his teeth out of anger. “If there’s one thing that pisses me off quicker than anything, it’s someone talking shit about my girl, especially if it’s my girl talking shit about herself.”
“But I—”
“I’m not finished,” he interrupted. “You aren’t an emotional fool. You went through something that not many people would’ve survived. You are the strongest, bravest, smartest, and most beautiful woman I know. If you weren’t those things, you would’ve died months ago, but you didn’t. Want to know why? Because you’re a fucking fighter and you knew you weren’t victim and you refused to let him make you one.”
Parker stared at him, not even knowing what to say. Ethan took her hands into his and his gaze softened. “You told me at the cabin that it was okay not to be okay. Now it’s your turn to not be okay. There’s nothing to be ashamed o
f when it comes to needing therapy. I’ve even had to go a few times with the job I do. Trauma can take some time to process, but you have to be willing to accept that nothing is wrong for needing help. It doesn’t make you emotional to need help. It doesn’t make you weak to need help. And as far as being broken, you can be fixed. Therapy can fix you. Loving yourself can fix you. Allowing me to love you can help fix you.”
She blinked. Did he just…
As if reading her mind, he grinned. “I love you, Parker. I truly believe my mother handpicked you to be in my life during my time of need. You’ve been the pop of color in my black and white life, the sun to break up my cloudy day, and my peace when my mind is a war zone. I’m here for you every step of way no matter what you decide to do. I’d never think my woman is an emotional fool because she’s processing what happened to her. In fact, I’m proud that my girlfriend is a complete bad ass who can go through what she did, survive it, and now know that she still has progress to make and acknowledges she may need help with that.”
Parker smiled as a few tears rolled down her cheeks at his words. “I have no idea how I got so lucky,” she whispered before wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tight. “I love you, too.” Hearing his words filled her heart. People said things happened for a reason and even though that reason nearly cost her life, she wouldn’t trade it for anything. She ran from danger and straight into the arms of a man that would maybe be her happily ever after. To know that she did as much for him as he did for her filled her with purpose. For the last few months, she felt like a burden to him and her family as she healed, but this beautiful man was so patient, kind, and understanding that he stood next to her every step of the way. She didn’t doubt that he’d do the same once she started working on her mental health.
“You all right?” he asked when she pulled away. She nodded and wiped her eyes.
“I’m perfectly fine. Thank you for that,” she replied.
Jostling Joker (Special Forces: Operation Alpha) (A SEALed Brotherhood Novella Book 3) Page 10
