Rive_Little Mermaid Retold

by Daniela Jackson

  I’m a cripple, but I have my pride and dignity. I’ll move out as soon as I find a room or something.

  “You better start growing a thick skin,” Amanda says.

  “I-I donn’t want hhim.”

  “Really?” She takes my empty plate and puts in the sink. “Have you seen your neck, child?”

  My chest fills with a choking sensation and shakiness spreads to my veins. I want the earth to swallow me instantly.

  Amanda tilts her head. “Watch TV and I’ll clean up the house.”

  I nod at her and sit in the couch.

  Amanda starts cleaning the space upstairs as I collect my clothes from the airier and put them neatly on the inside arm of the couch, then take my sketchbook and graphite pencils out of my bag.

  I have to start earning money but without a camera and laptop, it will be impossible so I start drawing for pleasure.

  After about half an hour, my eyes grow heavy. Amanda gives me an encouraging nod, and I decide to have a nap.

  Amanda wakes me, shaking my arm when it’s dark outside. She forces me to eat a sandwich and sends me to bed. I don’t protest. I could sleep for eternity. I guess it’s my stress wearing off.

  I curl into the bed and drop off to sleep.

  A heated conversation downstairs shakes me out of my dream.

  “She’s not one of your sluts, Axel,” Amanda says in a harsh voice.

  “Why are you so interested?” Axel growls. “Jeez, you’re so nosy. You’re always so nosy.”

  “You either treat her with respect or get rid of her.”

  “She is renting a bedroom in my house.”

  “Really? And paying with what? I saw the marks on her neck. Damn it, Axel, I’ve never said a word. But not with her. You understand?”

  A wave of embarrassment washes over my chest and my palm covers my neck as I turn on my side. The last twelve hours or so have made me mortified so many times that I shouldn’t even exist now.

  “I saw the news,” Amanda continues. “You know who she is?”

  “As you noticed it’s difficult to talk to her,” Axel snaps.

  Well, it seems like Axel’s favourite activity now is humiliating me.

  “She is a cop’s stepdaughter,” Amanda says. “He’s looking for her. She’s just buried her mother.”

  “It explains a lot.”

  “Like what?”

  “That dick wanted to hurt her, Ma.”

  “I guess there was a lot of shit between them. She wouldn’t have decided to escape from him otherwise.”

  “I will find a safe place for her and help her to blend in so he will never find her.”

  “She can live with me for a while,” Amanda says in a firm voice.

  My heart skips a beat. I’d love to live with Amanda. She’s bossy but really nice. I could clean her house and cook for her in return for her hospitality.

  “I planned to sell my apartment,” Amanda says, “and move in with Boulder—“

  “Haven’t you had enough?”

  “We want to try again.”

  “Okay, Ma. Maybe it will work out for you both. Take care of your life and I’ll take care of mine. Sive is staying with me then.”

  Every atom in my body jumps. A fucking bad luck. I’m cursed or what?

  “For how long?” Amanda asks.

  “I don’t know. For as long as she wants to stay with me. I don’t know. She... I don’t know. She...”

  There is an eerie silence for a moment. Then Amanda bursts into laughter.

  “What?” Axel growls.

  “I can see that now.”

  “What?” Axel growls louder.

  “You wouldn’t have allowed me to take her anyway,” Amanda says with sarcasm. “You need to think, sweetie, about a lot of things. Fuck me. Axel, this is—“

  “Goodnight, Ma.”

  “I’m not blind, ya know. Your eyes when you—“

  “Goodnight Ma.”

  “I know you, Axel. I’m your mother. You and her—“

  “Ma,” Axel roars.

  “Goodnight. If you needed help or advice call me.”

  The front door slams shut and the thumping of Axel’s feet comes closer to me. I hitch up the comforter and roll on my other side as he knocks on the door and walks in.

  “Sive?”

  I suck in a breath and pretend to be fast asleep. Axel perches on the bed and pulls at the comforter. My hand jerks down and I clutch it, pulling it up again.

  “Can we talk?” Axel asks.

  “Nno.”

  “Amanda has left breakfast for you in the fridge.”

  I sit up and wrap myself up in the comforter. “Llu-nch.”

  “I will cook lunch for you.”

  “I-I wa-ntt.”

  “You want to cook? Will you be well enough?”

  I nod at him.

  He must have had a shower because he smells of shower gel. A streak of light is pouring into the bedroom through the gap in the door and it’s enough to notice that he is wearing only his jeans. I want him to go. It’s so awkward for me to be around him. My lips still remember his kiss. My body is still yearning for his touch.

  “How are you feeling, Sive?”

  “Ffine.”

  “Do you want something to drink? A glass of juice? Water?”

  I shake my head. Amanda took care of me. She did not allow me to be hungry or thirsty.

  “Hungry?” Axel asks.

  Why can’t he just go to bed? It’s ridiculous. It must be very late. Not to mention that we are strangers to each other. He shouldn’t even be here now. I’m renting this bedroom, right? So I want some privacy.

  I growl and my hands clutch the comforter.

  “It’s okay, Sive. We don’t have to talk. I know it’s tiring for you.”

  Being around you is tiring for me. Why won’t you just go?

  “I can talk monologues to you,” Axel says and winks at me.

  This is becoming funny.

  You don’t want to fuck me, but you’re going to talk to me. No fucking way. I need some proper sleep. I have plans for tomorrow. Who said that I wanted to be your friend?

  “Your stepfather is looking for you,” Axel says, “but you chose a good hideout. He will never find you here. You are safe with me.”

  “Ggo, A-xel.”

  He sighs and rises to his feet in one smooth motion. “Goodnight, Sive.”

  I wave my hand at him and fall onto the pillow. Sleep doesn’t want to release me from that trap I put myself into so I roll in bed. Then I have to use the toilet, but fortunately, Axel is in the other bedroom. My nightmare continues as I return to bed and stare at the window. Stifle my urge to go to him and fall into his arms. Choke back tears.

  It’s grey outside as I depart into oblivion.

  I get up when the sun is high in the sky. The noises from the garage waft through the silence lingering in the house. I pick up a dress and underwear and go to have a shower, then take my breakfast out of the fridge. Axel is at work so a wave of happiness washes over my heart. I’m on my own and the house belongs to me if only for a moment.

  With a sandwich in one hand, I open my sketchbook with my other hand and start drawing just for exercise. And for pleasure. I love it. It’s like a sweet addiction to me. The only thing I had in common with my mother.

  I’m going to cook today. Exploring the cupboards and the freezer, I find some chicken and flour, two onions and some lettuce.

  Cooking was my favourite subject at school, apart from art. I tried recipes from different cuisines, Colombian, Russian, even Korean.

  I prepare dough for the kind of buns and cook six of them in a pan. In another pan, I fry chopped onion and chicken, adding the herbs I found in the cupboard. When everything is ready, I stuff the buns with the chicken and top them with the lettuce. Two layers of aluminium foil will keep them warm for a while and I pack each bun separately, then put them into a plastic bag and slip into my trainers. The blue summer dress covering my body l
ooks horrible with my trainers but at least they are clean.

  I know the way to the garage and the noise guides me. The boys shout and swear as I enter a space smelling of petrol, oil, rubber and male sweat. Everything is dirty, greasy and scary here.

  I notice Dash and Gunner, then Zane who waves his hand at me, striding towards me. He wears only his jeans and boots and the streaks of grease stretch on his naked chest and cheeks.

  “Hi,” he says as he stands in front of me. “What such a pretty girl like you is doing in such an ugly place like this?”

  I chuckle. He is very nice. And very handsome. And looks only a bit older than me.

  My hand rises and the plastic bag sways in my grip. “Llu-nch.”

  “For me?”

  “Ffor evv-ry—“

  “For everybody?”

  I bob my head several times.

  “You are a real treasure.” Zane takes the bag from my hand and steps forward, lessening the distance between us. “Do you need anything, sweetheart?”

  Of course, I do. A laptop and a camera would make my existence much easier, but I can’t ask him for such an expensive favour. It would be too much.

  “Sive, what do you need?” Zane insists. “I want to do something for you. Don’t be shy. Just ask.”

  Fuck it. I need to start earning money so I can move out of Axel’s house.

  “A lap-top. A ca-me-rra,” I say.

  “Anything else?”

  I shake my head.

  “I will bring them tonight, but you have to kiss me in return,” Zane says and narrows his eyes. “Deal?”

  I step back with my arms elevated. My heart skips a beat.

  “A kiss,” Zane teases. “It’s a fair deal.”

  I bob my head at him, step forward and lean towards him, rising on my tiptoes. It’s fair enough. Well, it isn’t. The price for his favour is laughably low.

  He bends his neck forward and his lips touch mine. It’s delicate like a spring breeze; like he doesn’t want to scare me and I think I would want more of that delicate kissing. With him, it feels so safe. Axel is wild and dangerous, completely unpredictable to be honest. And he doesn’t want me.

  Zane seems to be an honest man and is treating me with respect. I like him.

  I step back and drop my head.

  “Can you teach me sign language?” Zane asks.

  I raise my head and smile at him.

  “How do you sign ‘yes’?” Zane asks.

  I lift my hand, roll my fingers and flex my wrist.

  “How do you sign ‘I like you’?” Zane questions.

  I show him a sequence of gestures and he repeats after me with the bag hanging over his wrist which makes me giggle.

  “How do you sign ‘I’m in love with you’?”

  Chapter 11

  Axel

  I can hear Zane saying ‘I’m in love with you’ and fury spreads in my veins. Sive giggles and clenches her hands in front of her stomach.

  I’ve heard the whole conversation, but now it’s going too far. My brother is stealing Sive from me and I can’t let this happen. She is mine. If I can’t kiss her, nobody else will kiss her either.

  I approach them and rub my palms against my jeans. “Get back to work Zane. We have a tight schedule.”

  “Sive has cooked lunch for us.” He raises his hand holding a white plastic bag.

  “I heard.” I send him a warning glance and he walks off.

  Sive’s expression darkens as her forehead wrinkles. She seems to feel uncomfortable around me, and I don’t blame her.

  “Thank you for the lunch, Sive.”

  She nods at me and delicate pink paints her cheeks.

  I have to ask her for one to one lessons so I can learn that fucking sign language too. It would make the things between us much easier.

  “What are you going to do in the afternoon?” I ask.

  “Bu-sy.”

  “With what?”

  “Mi-nne, A-xel.”

  Fuck. She’s just cut herself off from me. It’s something new to me that a woman isn’t seeking my attention despite my horrible behaviour. That a woman has respect for herself. It’s a challenge for me.

  She backs up and goes towards the exit as I follow her. “Sive, wait.”

  She stops and turns around to face me.

  “Do you need anything from the shop?” I ask.

  “Nno.”

  “I will buy that laptop and camera for you. Why do you need them anyway?”

  She growls, raises her hands and gestures at me. Her moves are frantic like she is furious and I’m sure she is sending swear words in sign language towards me. Her face frowns with emotions and her whole body dances ardently. The blood in my veins starts to boil. There is wild passion inside her and I want to taste it now. I want to tame it.

  I step forward and shoot my arms towards her, grasping her waist. She growls as I pull her to me, grip the back of her head and crush her lips with mine. The boys whistle behind me but I don’t care. Only Sive’s lips matter to me at the moment. She wiggles like a wild animal in my arms and tries to avert her face but I don’t allow her to. My palm holds her head in place as my arm entwines her chest like a noose of rope. She’s helpless against my strength. I love that feeling.

  Sive holds her lips tightly together, but my thumb presses against her chin and I open her mouth for me. My tongue thrusts in and strokes hers.

  Fuck. It’s like in one moment everything changes. Like I die and I’m reborn the next instant.

  I want to throw her over my shoulder and carry her to my bedroom. I want her like mad and I can’t fight it any longer. The only problem is that Sive doesn’t want the same. Her fists dig into my chest and she wiggles to free herself from my embrace.

  I pull away from her but my hands are still on her waist as she catches a rapid breath. Tears roll down her cheeks. The black smudges of grease mark her skin and dress.

  It seems like I’m no better than that sick fuck she escaped from.

  “Go to the house,” I say with a high-pitched crackle.

  She turns back and runs away.

  Dash stands beside me. “Who of you is fucking her, Zane or you?”

  “Nobody.”

  “Can I fuck her then?”

  “Get back to work, Dash.”

  I shove his back and bend under the hood of a car but I can’t focus on anything so I go to the office instead and eat the bun Sive prepared for me. It’s delicious. I could get used to having her around me. A beautiful and sweet woman cooking lunch for me, spreading her legs for me at night. Definitely, I could get used to that.

  I resume my work but my head is as though a piece of sponge has replaced my brain.

  “Zane,” I rumble.

  My brother approaches me, rubbing his dirty hands against his chest.

  “I have to go somewhere,” I say. “Take over from me.”

  “We have a tight schedule. I have my own job to do.”

  “I have to buy that laptop and camera for Sive.”

  “She asked me.” Zane is furious but doesn’t let his emotions pour out of him.

  “You better don’t talk to her again. It’s not the girl for you. You can’t play your tricks on her.”

  “I’m not playing any tricks on Sive,” he snaps.

  “I heard you. She may take you seriously.”

  “I was serious.”

  I step back as the meaning of his statement tears its way to my head. He is in love with Sive. My Sive. A possessive animal awakes within me.

  The only reason we haven’t clashed yet is that he’s struggling with being loyal to me. I think it’s only a matter of time when he chooses her not me.

  “She is mine, Zane. I mean it. Mine.”

  “Yours? For how long, Axel? One night? Two nights? You are taking advantage of her.”

  “My bed is none of your fucking business. Stay away from Sive. I’m warning you for the last time.”

  “You can’t decide for her, Axel
.”

  “I’m looking after her and I will decide for her.”

  “You are sick, man.”

  Maybe I am. Sive did something to me, and I’m behaving like an irrational starving animal.

  I look around. Dash and Gunner are staring at us like we are on a fucking circus arena and an electrified silence layers the garage.

  I rush towards my small office behind the glass door to take my t-shirt and wallet.

  “What are you waiting for?” I growl as I walk to the main exit.

  The trip to the town centre takes me fifty minutes.

  With the laptop under my arm and the camera in my hand, I enter my house and remove my boots, then climb upstairs.

  The door of my bedroom is closed so I knock on it and pull it open. Sive is sitting in the middle of the bed with her knees bent and a pencil in her hand. A sketchbook leans against her thighs and sheets of white paper are scattered around her. As I move closer, I notice that they are drawings.

  Sive starts picking them up and glances at me like she is a startled bird.

  “Can I look at them?” I ask and place the laptop and camera on the puffa stool at the foot of the bed.

  “Mi-nne.” A flush pours onto her cheeks.

  “I know they are yours. I just want to look at them.”

  I can be a stubborn prick when I want something badly. And I want Sive badly.

  She crawls out of the bed with the drawings in her hand and stands beside me, showing me her work.

  “What is it?” I ask as my eyes flick over a creature with dragonfly wings.

  “A fai-ry.” She puts the drawing under the pile, showing me another creature.

  “Another fairy?”

  Sive chuckles and we look at the third drawing. It’s an angel, kneeling on one knee and leaning against his sword. He has my face, two wings and wears my cut. My glance meets Sive’s and her face tenses as her cheeks burn with dark red.

  “That’s really good,” I say.

  It hits me like a hammer how Sive perceives me. I’m an angel to her, a saviour. That’s unexpected but tells me a lot about her. Us.

  She shows me another drawing. It’s Zane. I’m not surprised who he is, at all. He’s a knight. There is also Ma and she’s a priestess or something.