A Change of Heart: A Christian Romance (The Callaghans & McFaddens Book 1)

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  Bennett laid a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. It’s something Franklin has needed to hear, but because of our relationship with Grace, it’s been a little difficult to say something to him about it.” He looked around the pavilion then said, his voice low, “None of us really understands why Grace married Franklin, but she gets quite upset if anyone tries to point out things about his behavior. I just hope that Franklin takes it to heart this time and becomes a better husband for Grace. She deserves that.”

  Makayla watched as her brother spoke, wondering, not for the first time, if Bennett had hoped for something with Grace himself. She’d always thought they’d make a good couple, but Grace had always laughed her off and then she’d married Franklin.

  “Why don’t we go sit down and eat our lunch?” Bennett suggested. “Can you grab me a can of Coke, Kayla?”

  Makayla swung back around to the coolers and pulled a can from the midst of the ice and held it out to him. After Ethan had grabbed a can for himself, the three of them made their way to the table where Bennett and Ethan had already put down their plates of food. Tami was sitting there along with Sierra and Erin.

  As she ate, Makayla had to admit that Ethan’s reaction to Franklin’s comments to her had only raised her opinion of him. True, he hadn’t really come to her defense as much as Grace’s, but just the fact that he was willing to stand up to Franklin, even knowing that the man had more of a history with their family than Ethan did, was admirable.

  Once the meal was over, it didn’t take long before people were heading back out onto the boats once again. This time, however, Makayla stayed with her mom to help clean up. She’d have more opportunity to go out on the boat in the next few days, so she wasn’t too worried about missing out on the afternoon.

  Her thoughts wandered as she wiped down the plastic cloths her mom had used to cover the tables. What would it take, she wondered, to find out if Ethan was interested in her the way she was in him? Asking someone to ask him just smacked way too much of high school. It was entirely possible that he was more interested in someone like Grace than like Makayla. Grace’s sunny, easygoing attitude and style were in direct contrast to Makayla’s more uptight and moody one.

  Flipping her braid over her shoulder as she bent forward to reach the far side of the table, Makayla acknowledged that she wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. In spite of her best intentions, she could be selfish sometimes. She wasn’t bubbly and cute like Grace. Or competent under pressure the way Tami was. She liked her me time, was prone to mood swings and, on occasion, panic attacks.

  “What’s putting a frown on that beautiful face, sweetheart?”

  Makayla looked up to see her mom watching her from the other side of the table. She gave her a smile then recounted what had happened with Ethan and Franklin.

  Her mom shook her head and sighed. “That boy just doesn’t seem to want to learn. But good for Ethan for standing up for Grace.” A proud smile spread across her mom’s face. “I think your dad did really well when he chose Ethan to come work for the company.”

  Fighting the downward pull of her earlier thoughts, Makayla returned to her job of wiping the table cloths. “He does seem to have fit in better than I would have thought.”

  Once the last cloth was cleaned, her mom removed it from the table and folded it up to put with the others. “And I’m proud of you for coming around and accepting his place in the company. I know it wasn’t easy for you to deal with this change, so I just want you to know that your dad and I are thankful that you’ve welcomed Ethan and Sierra into our lives.”

  Knowing that Sierra was a safe subject for her thoughts, Makayla latched onto it and told her mom about the time she’d spent with the young girl teaching her about makeup. Something about the look in her mom’s eye told her that she was aware that Makayla was redirecting their conversation, but thankfully, she didn’t comment on it.

  Once the pavilion was cleaned up and everything loaded in the truck, her mom headed to the cabin. Makayla wandered back down to the pier, weaving in and out of the groups of people who were gathered there now. Some were fishing along the edges of the pier. Others were just standing together talking or taking pictures. The holiday crowd had definitely arrived.

  When she got near the spot where she’d found Tristan and Ethan earlier, Makayla held a hand over her eyes and looked out at the water. Thankful for her sunglasses which protected her eyes from the glare of the sun off the sparkling water, Makayla searched for signs of either of the boats or the jet skis. When she didn’t see any of them, she headed to where she’d left her bike earlier and climbed back on it.

  Makayla had intended to return to the cabin, but as she brought her bike to a halt at the exit of the parking lot and watched as a vehicle passed by, returning from the other end of the island, she decided to take a bit of a detour. She turned her bike in that direction and pedaled a little further down the road. She’d only gone a short distance before she realized she needed to let her mom know of her change in plans, so she pulled off to the side of the road and retrieved her phone from her backpack.

  After tapping out a quick message to let her mom know she was going to take a little while longer to get home, Makayla slid the backpack onto her shoulders again and pushed off. She coasted for a bit before she began to peddle again, not really in a hurry to get anywhere but needing some time with her thoughts.

  The road was flanked on either side by trees. This part of the island was more forest than anything else, though the road she was on would eventually come out at a small park like setting. Even though it had swings and a few picnic tables, it wasn’t the most popular place on the island. However, she was fairly certain that there would be at least a few people there.

  Having biked this stretch more times than she could remember, Makayla allowed her thoughts to roam free. As if she had a choice. It really didn’t matter if she allowed her thoughts to wander because if she didn’t, they’d still find a way to overwhelm her. She hated that she was this way. Why couldn’t she just take everything in stride? Why did she have to take everything so seriously and feel it in the deepest part of herself? Neither Grace or Tami—or Sammi or Danica, for that matter—seemed to struggle the way she did.

  She hated it when her thoughts and the emotions that went with them were things she couldn’t share with anyone else. Normally she could talk about pretty much anything with Tami, but how could she explain her feelings about how Ethan had reacted to Franklin without coming across as petty and selfish?

  She knew from Ethan’s own words that he had confronted Franklin not really because his comment had been directed at her, but because of how it was disrespectful to Grace. Ethan didn’t seem too concerned about how it made her feel to hear things like that from Franklin. He’d been there to defend Grace. In her mind, Makayla knew that Grace deserved somebody who would stand up for her. Makayla just wished that it been someone like Bennett or Kenton instead of Ethan.

  Although Bennett had tried to step in before. Unfortunately, it had been to no avail, so Ethan’s words might be in vain as well. At least in relation to Franklin. What they had done, however, was make her think that the interest she had in him didn’t have a hope of being returned. Honestly, she admired him for what he had done, but now as she thought back to it all, she felt sad. And a little bit jealous. And, yeah, a little petty.

  Which was why she couldn’t even speak to Tami about all of this. She didn’t need her best friend to tell her what she already knew about herself. She just needed a little alone time to think it through, to feel the emotions that swirled within her, and then move on.

  As Makayla pedaled her bike past the end of the tree line, she saw that there were a few cars in the parking lot, but nowhere near as many as there were at the marina. She climbed off her bike and walked it toward the water. As she got close, she propped the bike up against a nearby tree and moved to sit closer to the water’s edge. With a sigh, she drew her legs up and wrapped her arms around th
em.

  She had prayed so hard over the years asking God to change her, to make her more like Tami and Grace. Each prayer had included a plea that He would take away her emotional moodiness and the darkness that lurked at the edge of her mind just waiting for the littlest hurt or negative thought to drag her down. And yet, day after day, she still struggled.

  Like she struggled right then with the feeling that she wasn’t worth defending the way Grace had been. That Grace, with her bubbly personality and cute looks, deserved it more than Makayla did. That she, with her need for makeup and professional clothes, was trying to hide how weak and needy she truly was inside.

  Maybe the one person she finally felt something for had already gotten a glimpse of what she was really like and decided she wasn’t worth the effort. Because she knew she’d always been the difficult one. The one everybody had warned her mom just wait until she’s a teenager. And she’d proven them right. Even with all the effort her mom made to give her time to herself, Makayla knew she’d still been stubborn and difficult. Why would anyone choose to be with someone like that?

  Her logical side tried to make her see reason. Tried to make her see that there were plenty of people who chose to be in her life. Who chose to love her. But the dark emotions crept in, swallowing up her sense of reason, all because her heart felt vulnerable and scared.

  Makayla pressed her fingertips against her eyes. Please, God, take these thoughts from my mind. Change me, please.

  Her off-and-on counselor over the past couple of years had tried to get her to understand that God had given her the personality she had, and that there was nothing wrong with her or her emotions. The counselor had encouraged her to read through the Psalms and see that the man God had called a man after His own heart struggled with his emotions and feelings as well. David had written about feeling as if God had abandoned him and had cried out asking God to hear him and deliver him. Like David, she had prayed to be delivered from her own emotions and the darkness that overshadowed her sometimes.

  And yet here she was again, feeling the pull of negative thoughts. Even though she didn’t want to dwell on them, to think about them, her mind wouldn’t let them go. Why did she have to be like this?

  Her counselor had been big on Makayla allowing herself to feel her emotions rather than saying they were bad and forcing them deep inside because then the outcome was usually far worse. So, as Makayla sat near the water’s edge, she closed her eyes and listened to the waves move against the shore and then back out again and prayed. She needed to get a handle on all of this before heading back to the cabin. There was no way she could get through the rest of the weekend if she didn’t allow herself to feel these emotions now, and then, hopefully, let them go.

  22

  B ennett, did Makayla end up back with you guys on the boats?” Emily said as soon as they walked into the house after returning from the marina.

  Ethan turned to look at Bennett as he shook his head in response to his mom’s question. “She said she was coming back here with you after lunch.”

  Emily frowned. “She texted me a little while after that and said she was going to bike around the island for a bit, but I haven’t heard from her in a while, and she hasn’t responded to my texts.”

  Bennett shrugged in a way that Ethan didn’t quite understand. Was he not worried about where his sister was?

  “You know how she gets, Mom. She probably just needed some space. She knows this island as well as the rest of us. I’m sure she’s fine.”

  Ethan could see that Bennett’s words didn’t completely erase the worry from his mom’s face, and they certainly didn’t ease the concern he now was feeling for Makayla.

  “She was upset about something after lunch, but she wouldn’t talk about it. I let her go because, like you said, she does need her space sometimes, but it’s been a couple of hours now. If she’d even just answer her phone or respond to a text, I’d feel a lot better.”

  Tami came up and slid her arm around Emily’s shoulders. “What’s up? Has Makayla disappeared?”

  From the easygoing tone of Tami’s questions, Ethan realized that Makayla’s best friend wasn’t any more worried about her than her brother was. Why were these people not more concerned about Makayla? Especially if her mother was showing this much apprehension over her absence.

  Emily repeated what she’d said to Bennett. Evidently realizing that a mother’s concern was not going to be merely brushed aside, Tami pulled her cell from her pocket.

  “Makayla and I have this app on our phones that lets us know where the other is,” Tami said as she bent her head over her cell. “Let’s see if it works this far out in the wilderness.”

  Bennett went to stand next to her, and she moved the phone between the two of them as they both watched the screen. It seemed to be taking a while to track her wherever she was, and it made Ethan even more uneasy.

  “Hey, that’s cool,” Bennett said as he pointed at something on the screen of Tami’s phone.

  Tami nodded. “Her phone is saying that she’s up at the end of the island past the marina.”

  “I guess I don’t understand why she’s not answering her texts or her phone,” Emily said, her expression slightly less concerned but by no means relieved.

  “How about I take the truck and go track her down,” Bennett offered. He turned to look at Tami. “Maybe you should come with just in case her phone moves from that spot. And Ethan, this is a good opportunity for a tour of the island if you want to come along too.”

  Ethan jumped at the offer, but it had nothing to do with wanting to see the island. He followed Bennett and Tami out of the cabin to where Bennett had parked his truck just a short time earlier.

  Bennett seemed to take his sweet time driving the road from the driveway of the cabin to the main highway. There was more traffic on the highway now so he had to wait a few minutes for a break between the cars before pulling out and turning in the same direction they’d come from earlier. Ethan stared out the window as they passed the pavilion where they’d eaten lunch, the parking lot now full of vehicles.

  They continued on instead of turning off at the marina and soon found themselves on a quiet stretch of road flanked by trees. Even at Bennett’s slow pace, it wasn’t long before they found themselves in another smaller parking lot at the end of the road.

  “Does it say she’s still here?” Bennett asked as he stared out the windshield after he pulled into one of the parking spots.

  “Yeah. It hasn’t moved at all.” The front door of the truck opened, and Tami slid out.

  Ethan and Bennett weren’t far behind her as she began walking toward a grassy stretch not far from the water. She suddenly came to a halt, and Ethan glanced around Tami, fearful of what may have caused her to stop walking. He spotted Makayla sitting on the grass, facing out towards the water.

  Tami swung back around and gestured as if to wave them off. Bennett placed a hand on Ethan’s arm as Tami made her way toward where Makayla sat. She didn’t even look over as Tami sat down beside her and slid an arm around her friend’s shoulders.

  “Let’s head back to the truck,” Bennett said, his voice low.

  Completely confused, Ethan followed his friend—and boss—back to where he’d parked the truck. Bennett lowered the tailgate and then hopped up on it, his long legs swinging out over the dirt surface of the parking lot. Ethan followed suit and hoped that Bennett might clear up his confusion.

  “What’s going on with Makayla?” His gaze went back to where the two women sat close together. “Is she okay?”

  “I think she probably is.”

  “Probably?”

  Bennett’s brow furrowed. “Makayla has always been the one of us whose emotions tend to get the best of her. We tease her that she’s moody, but the reality is that she feels things more deeply than the rest of us do. She can be friendly and happy and outgoing when she’s around people, but then she needs time alone to process everything afterward. She probably just had a bi
t of an emotional overload with everyone around and came here to recharge.”

  Though Bennett’s explanation made sense, especially after the conversation he’d had with her the night before, it still didn’t ease the concern and worry in Ethan’s gut. “What happened earlier with Franklin wouldn’t have made things worse, would it?”

  Bennett hummed as if considering the question seriously. “I don’t think so. What you said to Franklin wasn’t anything the rest of us haven’t tried to convey to him ourselves since they got married. We just haven’t been able to do it quite as directly since he would always tell Grace and then she’d get mad at us.”

  “Wait. What?” Ethan stared at Bennett, now even more confused than he’d been moments earlier. “Grace would get mad at you for trying to get her husband to treat her better?”

  Bennett shrugged. “Yeah. Go figure. So that’s why I don’t really think that what you said to Franklin would have upset Makayla. Now that’s not to say that it didn’t trigger something else in her head that we might not be aware of, but that’s not your fault.” Bennett looked over to where Tami and Makayla still sat together then pulled out his phone. “If anyone can get her to talk about what she’s thinking and feeling, it will be Tami.”

  Ethan hoped that Bennett was right. The thought that he might have done something to inadvertently cause this with Makayla didn’t sit well with him at all. He’d deliberately chosen to make it about Grace when he approached Franklin earlier because he didn’t want Makayla to feel weirded out if she thought he was coming to her defense. He’d be the first to admit that even though he had a fairly good idea of how to treat a woman, he didn’t know much about how to deal with one. The one time he’d gone to a woman’s defense, she’d made good and sure that he was well aware of the fact that she could take care of herself.

  From everything he’d seen so far, Ethan had no doubt that Makayla could also take care of herself. But that didn’t stop him from wanting to be there for her.