Beautiful Inferno

by Abby Gale

  The lump in my throat suffocated me, I let my guilt lash out onto Nikki, and I fucked her until both of us were breathless.

  ***

  When I came back to my office, I was even more frustrated than before fucking Nikki. She was a great submissive, a beautiful woman, but she didn’t give me enough satisfaction. The beast inside me was insatiable, hungry bastard for only one woman – a woman I shouldn’t have wanted, a woman I couldn’t even have. Not even two years of distance ripped her away from my thoughts.

  I was deep in thoughts when my phone vibrated on my mahogany desk. I’d never thought I’d hear her voice again, but she was on the other side of the line, talking to me with her sweet but tired voice. It took me too long to make sense of her words over my excitement to hear her voice. By the time my mind caught up with the meaning behind her words she’d already ended the call.

  Her voice was still lingering in my mind. Now I’ll be the one who leaves.

  Grabbing my car keys, I left the club in a hurry, driving fast to the place I thought I’d never visited again.

  The city was a blur as I passed by the streets, not giving a flying fuck about the traffic rules. My tires made a screeching sound when I stopped in front of the house I grew up in. Running as fast as I could and breaking through the door. The scene I walked into was a twisted threesome with Amanda, and her friend, and Carl, my older brother.

  They sickened me. I hated them. I wanted to kill them, but they weren’t my priority.

  “Zeke… is that you?” I heard Carl say, but I ignored him as I searched for Maya. Amanda’s friend walked toward me, reaching for my arm.

  “Oh, Zeke… what an amazing piece of man you turned into. Who would’ve thought?” she said, giggling.

  I pushed her and opened the bathroom door. I stopped breathing when I saw Maya, lying in her own blood, pale, her lips almost purple, but she was still the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen. Lifting her to my arms, I made my way out of the house, but Amanda tried to grab my arm. “Where are you taking her?” she said, but her voice wasn’t above a whisper. Carl was already fucking the other woman. I was disgusted to be related to these people, but I stopped my rage and focused on the beautiful girl in my arms.

  “She’ll never be back to this hole,” I said and drove faster than ever to reach the hospital in time.

  I shut off the alarm on the coffee table. Groaning with the strain on my neck, I massaged my tense muscles there. I look around the small space, hoping to see Maya. She must have been trying to reach the cupboard for cereal by this time in the morning, but she’s nowhere to be seen. Getting off from the couch I’d been sleeping on since Maya was big enough to need her own room, I knocked on the door of the bathroom, but there was no answer coming from the other side. Shaking my head, I headed for her room.

  There she was, still sleeping in her dark room.

  With a smile on my face, I sat on the bed, calling for her. Even though she wasn’t a heavy sleeper, she didn’t wake up.

  “Maya,” I said louder, pushing the hair off her beautiful face. That’s when panic settled inside me. She had a fever; her body was shaking.

  “Maya. Maya, open your eyes, baby. Can you hear me?” I rushed out the questions, but the only answer from her were unintelligible murmurs. Her hand reached for my cheek, caressing the way she always did when she thought I needed comfort. She was trying to comfort me even in her unconscious state like I was the one who needed help.

  After covering her body with a sheet, I lifted her into my arms and ran to the hospital. All the while leaning into her touch and holding her close while whispering that she’d be okay.

  We were heading to the hospital again, but this time it was so much worse. This time Maya didn’t caress my cheek. This time she lay in my arms lifeless.

  “Stay with me, Maya. Please stay. I can’t lose you, baby girl,” I whispered repeatedly.

  When I rushed to the hospital with her in my arms, her blood dripped on the white tiles of the hospital floor, I made a promise to the unconscious girl in my arms. “I’ll never let you go again, Maya, no matter what.”

  CHAPTER 5

  ZEKE

  The guilt was eating me alive as I watched her fragile form in the hospital bed. She was still pale, her wrists were wrapped in bandages, and she looked so weak, so tired. Her steady heartbeat was the only thing that gave me hope.

  Doctors and nurses were telling me that she was fine, but she wasn’t. In that rabbit hole of a house she could never be fine, yet I left her to deal with things by herself. She was just twenty-years-old, but the purple rings under her eyes, the constant frown on her face even while she was in deep slumber made her look older. I remembered the time when she smiled when she still had the light inside her.

  Unlocking the door, I entered the house. Carl was home for a change, but he was passed out on the couch. I wrinkled my nose; his disgusting stench must have already covered the couch I called a bed. I shut the door loudly, and Carl opened his eyes, a lazy smile formed on his flushed face.

  “Brother, hi!” he greeted me with too much enthusiasm like we liked each other.

  Carl and I hardly tolerated each other. After our parents died in a car accident, I knew he would be more than happy to give me to the system and forget everything about me. But, my parents’ will stopped him from doing that. They gave everything they had to Carl with only one condition: He had to look after his eight years old brother. At the age of twenty, he suddenly became the father figure. I think my parents saw the useless man he’d turn into, even though he wasn’t this bad at that age. The opposite actually, he had money, a beautiful wife who was pregnant with his child. I was happy living with my big brother and his wife. My happiness got so much more when Maya was born. That little girl became my whole world the moment she grabbed my thumb and smiled at me. But that moment was also the downfall of the things that were once good in my life. Amanda and Carl started to fight, Carl started to get drunk. When Maya turned five, Carl had lost it all; the money, the happy marriage. Since then, I tried to save what was left of this family, but my main focus was always Maya.

  As I walked toward her room, I knew nothing had changed since the first moment I saw her sweet smile. Maya was my only priority, and she was always going to be.

  I opened the door of her room and smiled at the girl who was leaning over her old desk, drawing on every piece of paper she could find. Sketching was her forte, her happy place. As she sketched, she left this fucked up world and created her own magical land. That moment was my favorite; watching her become something big in her petite body. She turned her head when she sensed my presence, and her face broke into a big grin.

  “Hey, baby girl,” I said and placed a kiss on her forehead, letting her sweet smell calm the storm inside me.

  “Where were you?” she asked.

  It was the weekend, and she knew I always reserved my weekends for her, no matter what. With a smile, I showed her the shopping bag in my hand.

  “Hot chocolate?” she asked hopefully.

  I shook my head. Until this year, I used to buy her a cup of hot chocolate for her birthday, but this year I couldn’t afford it with the other things I bought for her. “No, but I bought you things I hope you’ll like.”

  Her smile didn’t falter. She wasn’t a materialistic girl. She hardly got upset when she didn’t get something she wanted.

  I watched her as she discovered the things in the bag. I wished I had a camera then. Her face was a picture I’d like to keep forever. Her happiness was intoxicating, addicting. Her smile was dazzling, she glowed in the dimness of her room.

  “Zeke… you shouldn’t have,” she whispered, but her fingers caressed the paper of the sketchbook I bought for her.

  “Do you like it?” I asked.

  She played with the pencils, smelled the sketchbook before nodding her head with a glimmer of joy in her eyes.

  “Then I should have, and I did,” I answered with certainty.

  She
bit her lip, not sure if she should’ve been this happy, before launching herself into my arms. She peppered my face with kisses, and I laughed with her.

  “I love you so much, Zeke. So, so much,” she panted.

  Closing my eyes, I will my heart to slow down. She’s fucking thirteen, I reminded myself before whispering, “I love you too, baby girl.”

  And I knew when she looked at me with bright eyes like she was the happiest person in the world, I was gone for.

  I wanted her to open her eyes and look at me with the same hypnotizing look she used to. I wanted to see the light in her gaze. The light I watched fade away when I left her behind and walked away from her without looking back.

  “I have to leave, Maya. I have to leave before we do something wrong. You deserve the world and the only thing you’ll get with me would be embarrassment.”

  She whimpered in her sleep, her lips parted for a word that was too silent for me to hear. I smiled, she always talked in her sleep. Her whimpers turned into sobs, and I reached for her, caressing her pale skin with the pad of my thumb.

  “Don’t leave,” she whispered, putting a lump in my throat.

  “Zeke,” she sighed. The frown on her face relaxed a little, and she repeated, “Don’t leave.”

  I knew I thought I was doing the right thing when I left her, but seeing her now, in this hospital bed, pale as a ghost, I didn’t know what was right and what was wrong anymore. With a sigh, I made my decision.

  “I won’t, baby girl,” I whispered, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. “I will never leave you again, even though it’s the only right thing to do.”

  ***

  A hand on my shoulder woke me up. I didn’t realize I fell asleep on Maya’s bed. The nurse had a frown, but her eyes were amused as she tried to look at me with disapproval.

  “The doctor will come by to check on her. There’s a cafeteria at the end of the hall, maybe you should get something for yourself?” she said.

  I wasn’t planning on leaving her alone in this room. What if she woke up and tried to do the same thing again?

  “I’m fine,” I snapped.

  Kissing Maya’s temple, I sat on the chair next to her bed. The nurse was checking her temperature and blood pressure while sending me half annoyed, half understanding look.

  Maya’s eyes fluttered and slowly opened just at the same time the doctor entered the room.

  “She woke up, Doctor,” the nurse said.

  I watched Maya, leaning closer to her, feeling the need to convince myself that she was alive.

  “Miss Wyatt?” Doctor Ramirez asked, but Maya’s eyes didn’t find him when they were fully opened; they focused on me.

  Swallowing I tried to read her emotions behind those dark eyes, but they were blank.

  “How are you feeling?” the doctor asked.

  “Fine, but tired,” Maya answered, but her eyes were still on me.

  “That’s expected. Can you follow my finger, Miss Wyatt?” the doctor said, standing on the other side of her bed.

  Maya moved her eyes away from me and did what the doctor asked her to do. The examination continued for another ten minutes, and I was on pins and needles to figure out what was on her mind.

  Finally, the doctor finished what he had to do. “Are you family?” the doctor asked me.

  I panicked for a second and found Maya’s eyes. I was her blood, I cared for her more than anyone else ever could, and I was in love with her.

  “Yes, I’m her family,” I answered, hoping Maya understood that I was no longer planning on leaving her.

  “Okay. Miss Wyatt, you’re good to go in the morning. Take good care of yourself,” he said to Maya before turning to me. “Can we have a word?”

  “I’ll be right back,” I said to Maya and followed the doctor outside the room.

  “Well, Mr…”

  “Wyatt.”

  “Mr. Wyatt, Miss Wyatt is doing well. Her test results are good, and her wrist is healing. But in these kind of situations, the patients tend to repeat the action, especially if the reason behind this is still present in their lives. My professional advice would be for Miss Wyatt to see someone for help,” the doctor said. “She’ll need to talk to the hospital psychiatrist while she’s here, but she should keep seeing someone when she’s discharged, too,” he added.

  I nodded. “I’ll have her see the best professional about this, and her life will be better. She won’t repeat it again, doctor. Thank you.”

  “Very well. Then, she can leave the hospital in a few days, after I rechecked her wrist,” he said and walked down the hallway.

  I stayed there, outside her room, for a while to center myself before going back to her. Taking a deep breath, I shielded myself with my Master Wyatt mask and entered the room.

  CHAPTER 6

  MAYA

  I was alive.

  He was here.

  He saved me.

  Closing my eyes, I tried to understand how I was feeling. I knew I was just about to die, but that felt less important than his existence in the room. It’d been two long years without him, yet he was here, next to me, just a few minutes ago. He was the same man I fell in love with, only he was tougher, the edges on his face became sharper, his eyes got wiser, but he still looked at me with the same care and concern he always did.

  I was in pain. Mom was wasted as always, dad hadn’t even been at home for days. And I was suffering on the bathroom floor, my first period experience came in full force and caught me truly off guard. I didn’t have any pads or tampons, and mom didn’t have this problem since she hit menopause so early because of a problem in her ovaries she didn’t care to be treated for. Her drugs were more important than being sober for her health.

  “Maya? Where’s Maya?” I heard Zeke’s voice. He must have been asking my mom like she’d give him an answer in her state of mind.

  “Maya? Are you in there?” His voice came from the other side of the bathroom door. Since I was three or four years old, the time my mom stopped being a mom to me, Zeke was the only one who took care of me, who bathed me even, till I could manage to do it on my own. But when I was eleven, I got so sick with a high fever, he showered me then. When I broke my arm at age twelve and couldn’t do a damn thing on my own, he was the only one who helped me and bathed me, again. As I got older, I noticed he got uncomfortable with my nakedness, but it was always so normal for me. He saw me naked more than my own mom or another human being. He was the only one I could trust with my vulnerability, my nakedness, and with myself. He was always my other half, but lately, he knocked on my door before coming in, he always gave me the privacy I didn’t want to have. The solitude he was giving me made me feel like he was putting distance between us. I wanted to be close to him, he was the only one I had.

  “Maya?” His voice brought me back from my reverie, and he sounded concerned, almost in a panic.

  “Yes,” I murmured. Was it normal that I was in so much pain?

  The door opened, and within a second, I was in his arms and under the hot shower. He didn’t even care his clothes were soaked. He only cared for me as he caressed my hair and kissed my tears. I knew having my period was normal, but I was scared regardless. Seeing myself bleed with nothing new and no one to help me reminded me how lonely I was. Not when he was with me, though. I wasn’t alone when he was with me.

  I felt like a Barbie doll when he dressed me and handmade a pad for me from his old t-shirt and some cotton. Maybe I should have felt embarrassed, but there was no shame. There was only deep calm as we cuddled in the bed, his body warmth surrounding me. My pain subsided when I was in his arms. My heart felt full when he was with me, I didn’t feel the pain of the shattered, lonely pieces in my ribcage. His arms felt so right. The house I lived in had never felt like home, but his arms did. My feelings were so strong for him I wasn’t sure if it was what family members normally felt for each other.

  At the age of thirteen, I took the first step of maturity in Zeke’s arms, and I knew
something for sure: I loved him too much, and I didn’t love him like a brother, but I wasn’t sure how to describe my feelings for him. It was like he was in my bones, a part of my soul like I wouldn’t be complete without him. I just knew that I wanted him in my life, no, I wanted a life with him.

  The door opened, and his presence filled the room, I didn’t have to open my eyes to see him when he was in the same space with me, all I could feel was him. Our bodies, our minds, and even our souls were linked, connected to each other.

  I bit the inside of my cheek, forcing my emotions down. If I’d let my feelings control me, I would have either cried in front of him like a baby or begged for him to stay with me. Neither was an option; my pride was strong after he abandoned me, even though I let my guard down just a moment with that phone call. Lifting my chin with the confidence, I didn’t really feel, I armored myself with numbness and hid my emotions in a drawer even I wouldn’t be able to find again.

  He cleared his throat, and I knew he was going to talk to me. If it was minutes ago, I would have been excited, nervous, sickeningly in love, but as I met his stare, there was none of them in me, only an emptiness that I welcomed willingly.

  “Hey,” he whispered.

  I didn’t say anything back, instead, I checked him out. He was built like a wall, years had been kind to him except a few lines next to his eyes. From his posture to the unwavering look in his dark eyes, everything about him screamed power, but I knew him enough to see the anxiety and uncertainty under his tough exterior.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked.