Pitchfork in the Road

by M. J. Schiller

  “Zack, I—”

  I put a hand on her arm. “Zoe, please wait. I want to straighten one thing out first.” I took the envelope from my pocket and handed it to her. “These are yours, now.”

  She took it, and studied my face before cautiously drawing out what was inside. She let out a gasp, removed the note, and laid the pictures face down on the cushion next to her. Her eyes scanned the page, then she looked at me.

  “Who…?”

  “Maria Alverez.”

  “Maria Alverez?” She scanned the note again.

  “She forced me to go to that dance with her. Threatened to post these pictures to the Internet if I didn’t.”

  She lowered her head. “I….” She stopped, then started again. “I never even knew she had a thing for you.”

  “I’m not even sure she did.” She raised her gaze to my face. “She wanted to make this Zane guy jealous.”

  She frowned. “Zane Mastersen?”

  I shrugged. “Was he short, kind of pudgy, with a cheesy mustache?”

  Her lips quirked up. “That’s the guy.” She skimmed the paper in her hands again, then pinched the edge between her fingers and ran it to the corner, rotating the page over and over in her hand as she continued to press on it. “So…you…weren’t seeing Maria?”

  I frowned. “Did you really think I would date her?”

  She continued to spin the note, but tipped her head. “It sure looked like you were into her when you were kissing her in the hall at the—”

  I gently took her chin and turned her to face me. “She did that Zoe. I had nothing to do with it. Like I said, she was trying to make Zane jealous.”

  She licked her lips, which drew my attention to them. A zap of desire pinged through me. “I think she did start seeing him at the end of the year.”

  I lowered my hand. “She’s still seeing him. They have half a dozen kids. At least I think they’re Zane’s,” I added as an afterthought.

  “You’ve seen her?”

  I sat back, chuckling as I picked up my water. “Oh, yes.” I took a drink, remembering the whole scene. “I went there before I came to Denver. To ask her to give me the pictures. But…I had to leave before she gave them to me.” I took a long drink before adding, “I guess she changed her mind.” I gestured to the envelope, now on the coffee table. “I got those today.”

  She nodded. “So, you came to that dance to protect me?”

  “Yes, Zoe,” I said tenderly. “And she wouldn’t let me explain myself to you. Said she was afraid you’d tell the whole school she was forced to blackmail someone to take her to the dance.”

  Her hands were still finally, but she just stared at the paper. “I was such an idiot.” Her voice rose at the end.

  “Hey.” I could never stand to see her cry. “Don’t do that to yourself. From your point of view, I’m sure it looked bad.”

  She nodded vigorously. “Really, really bad.” She set the paper on the table, running a hand over it to smooth it.

  “Zoe.” I waited until she focused her gaze on me. My heart rose in my throat. I stretched my hand out slowly and brushed some hair off her face. “You have always been the only woman in my life. It was always you.” I kissed her again, as I’d been longing to since my lips left hers at the gala. As I’d been longing to since the day I broke up with her.

  We parted. Then her gaze roamed over my face, and she leaned forward to kiss me again. My hand slid farther back, to her neck. I freaking had eight years of kissing I needed to make up for, and I was ready to do that. And her lips were a match for mine. Hungry, searching, taking, which I was perfectly fine with. Then something changed, and she pushed away from me.

  “No…I can’t.” She slapped a hand to her forehead and jumped to her feet. “I can’t do this. This is wrong.” She looked like a rabbit caught in a trap. She paced a couple feet away, and back, repeating the same words. On one of her passes, I grabbed her arms.

  “Zoe.” She kept mumbling and a surge of desperation hit me. “Zoe! Listen to me.”

  She wouldn’t raise her gaze to me. “Nick and I…. I can’t just….”

  I jerked her against my body. “Zoe! Look at me.” She finally lifted her head. “Does he make you feel the way I do?”

  She squeezed her eyebrows together. “Feel?”

  “When you kiss me, I can tell you still love me.”

  “Of course I still love you!” she screamed, trying to pull away. “But that doesn’t—”

  “Do you feel the same way when he’s kissing you? When he’s touching you?” My chest tightened. I was afraid to hear her answer, but I needed to know.

  “Feel?” she repeated. “Feelings make things complicated.”

  It sounded like some kind of bull Nick fed her. I released her, a bitter taste rising in my mouth. I took my own step back and ran a hand over my face. “What happened to the Zoe I used to know? The fearless Zoe?”

  “You did!” she screamed. “Okay?” Her eyes shot fire and she stepped up, planting both hands on my chest and pushing me. “Is that what you wanted to hear? You and Nick did this to me.” Her lips quivered, then her voice dropped, the energy gone from it. “And eight years alone.”

  My gaze fell on her bomber jacket, slung over the arm of a chair. It was like lighting a fuse. “Did you make love to him?”

  “What?”

  “You heard me. Did you make love to him?”

  Her gaze darted around the room, then she lifted her arms out to the sides, palms toward me. “Zack…” she begged, the tears starting. “I…we….” She took a breath. “You were gone.”

  The bastard took everything from me. Even Zoe’s first time. It hurt more than it had reason to.

  She covered her face with her hands, really crying now. “I’m sorry. I….”

  The rest was lost to sobs. My heart went out to her. This wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t her fault at all. Nick and I played tug of war with her, and her ends were frayed, and she was about ready to snap. I stepped up and wrapped my arms around her, hating myself.

  “Zoe.”

  “I’m s-sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

  “No. It’s okay. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.”

  “Yes, it is,” she bawled, shaking her head. “I should have never—”

  I didn’t want to hear her say it. “It’s not your fault.” I interrupted. I had to get control of this situation. “Let’s sit down.” I led her to the couch and she crumpled in my arms, dampening my tux shirt with her tears. I felt about eight inches tall. I closed my eyes. I’d told myself I wouldn’t hurt her like this. I told myself I’d control my temper, my regret, my fear. The fear she’d make a choice and it wouldn’t be me.

  Words weren’t working for us, so I leaned back and just held her. She calmed after a bit, but I was still unwilling to use speech. This felt so good. Why jeopardize it? Her fingernails fiddled with a button, and her hand slid under my tux shirt. The skin-to-skin contact I’d missed for so long soothed me. A few seconds later, another button found its way through its button hole. What was soothing suddenly became stimulating. She may have been with Nick, but I was with no one, and even this simple touch set me on fire. Another button popped open, her hands explored farther, then she lifted her head and I turned to her. Her gaze flitted to my lips at first, then traveled to my eyes. She stretched her neck and kissed me softly. I shifted, and she scooted closer, opening her mouth more with the next kiss. I slowly brought my hand around to her neck and it was suddenly all out on. She finished unbuttoning me and pushed my shirt off impatiently while her mouth tangled with mine. I moved my kisses down her jaw line to her earlobe. I was going to explode.

  “Your damned fragrance, Zoe. I was a child when we were together before. I’m a man now.”

  She moaned and climbed onto my lap, straddling me. She rose up on her knees, then slid down, pressing against me, repeating the pattern repeatedly, her mouth wickedly nipping at my lips. On her next upward motion, she moved
a bit away, and as I started to protest, she slid her hand down my pants.

  I gave a shuddering breath. “Oh, my God.” I fell back against the cushions, closing my eyes while she worked with one hand to undo my pants, and the other drove me mad. I groaned. I raced toward the edge of oblivion like a lemming. I had to stop her. I sprang forward, yanking the zipper at the back of her dress down. It caught twice, but I bullied it down. She finally had my pants open, but removed her hands to place them on her shoulders, leaning back and slowly slipping the fabric of her dress away. I didn’t have to look to know she still had a gorgeous body, and even if I’d wanted to, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from hers. She offered herself to me. Trusting me. Letting me in. She came back to me, first invading my lips, next rolling her mouth and tongue along my neck.

  “Oh, Zoe,” I breathed into her hair. “I want to taste you again.” Clasping my hands around her back I lifted and leaned forward. At first I was going to take her to the bedroom, then I knew I couldn’t wait. I laid her on the square glass coffee table in front of us, knocking shit on it to the ground to make room for us. Then I rose again to remove my pants. I watched her shimmy out of her dress, then came back to her, stripping her underwear off. She grabbed for me and pulled me down on her, and I dipped inside her.

  “Oh, Zoe.”

  This was so much better than I anticipated. She sighed and relaxed. I leaned away to watch her. Her eyes were closed, a smile played on her lips.

  So. Much. Better.

  “Shit.” I pulled out. Her eyes flew open. “I need a condom.” I twisted my neck to search for my pants and wallet, but she put a hand on the side of my face and turned it back.

  “Not this time.” She smiled. “This one time I don’t want anything between us.”

  I stilled. “I don’t care if I make you pregnant, I want you to have my babies. But I don’t want you to rush into a life you’re not ready for.”

  She nodded. “You’re right. We have time for that.” When I came back, she reached down and guided me into her again. She stretched to grab the edge of the table, arching her back as I drove into her. She moaned. “Oh, yes, Zack. More. I want more of you.”

  Then things started moving at a pace that made it impossible to turn back. She cried out as I released. I continued moving inside of her, not wanting it to end, until I could go no longer. Panting, I extended my arms a bit to observe her.

  “Sorry. I couldn’t stop it.”

  She smiled languidly, her eyes closed. “Oh, no. I’m good.”

  “Did you…?”

  She opened her eyes, nodding. “Multiple times.”

  “Oh.” I wondered if Nick made her feel that way, then pushed it away. He didn’t belong here with us.

  “Umm…Z-man?”

  The use of the nickname filled me with a familiar warmth.

  “You need to get off me.”

  “Oh.” I slid back awkwardly until my feet hit the floor, but before I could push to my feet, she grabbed the sides of my face and kissed me. I rose, lifting her to her feet with me.

  “Are you hungry?”

  I grinned. “Starved. I didn’t eat.”

  She reached down and grabbed my shirt off the couch. “I’ll throw a pizza in.”

  Around midnight, her neighbor turned the volume down a trifle, and switched from country to soft rock, much to our relief.

  We listened to the music during a lull in conversation. “Umm…time cannot slip into the future, Steve Miller—” she commented “—as the future, by definition, isn’t here yet. Moron.”

  God, I’ve missed this.

  I joined in. “And, you may want to fly like an eagle, but I wouldn’t suggest it. They have wings and, alas, you don’t.”

  “Exactly.”

  Before we knew it, it was two o’clock in the morning. Paper plates with crumbs and pizza sauce on them sat on the table where we made love. I sat in the corner of the couch, in only my pants. Zoe wore underwear, and my tux shirt, which looked extremely cute on her. We’d been talking non-stop for hours.

  Zoe stifled a yawn.

  “I should go.”

  She clutched my arm. “No, don’t.”

  “Zoe. You’re exhausted.”

  “Stay with me tonight.”

  My eyes widened. “It’s not that I don’t want to, but do you think we should?”

  She bit her lower lip, her eyes dancing. “Do I need to convince you?”

  I nodded rapidly. “Uh-huh.”

  She got to her feet, moving to stand in front of me. I ran my hands up the backs of her legs and cupped her fabulous, round ass. Slowly, she unbuttoned her shirt.

  “Mmm.” The girl was gonna kill me. She got to the end and let it slip from her shoulders. I roared and leapt to my feet, sweeping her up in my arms. She screamed, and we shushed each other, knowing her neighbor turned off his music an hour ago. I kissed her and carried her into the bedroom. I saw her bed, which was unmade, which should have come as no shock to me, but I stopped cold, setting her on her feet, flashing back to Nick and her dancing.

  She looked from me, to the bed, and back again.

  “Did he make love to you here?”

  Her face fell. “Zack.”

  “Answer my question, Zoe. Did he?”

  She wrung her hands, staring at me helplessly.

  I advanced, and she took a step backward, her retreat stopped by the bed. I was angry all right, but I would never lay a hand on her in that way. I stepped closer, and she eyed me warily. Closer still, and I bent to take her lips without touching her with my hands. They were short, kisses meant to tease and seduce. I sucked on her bottom lip each time I pulled away, drawing her to me. I knew her well enough to feel her impatience and the tension it brought with it, electric. She leaned in more, and I moved back, making her stumble forward a little. We stared at each other. Her lips were parted, plumb, and wet. The look in her eyes held a challenge. I moved to her so suddenly she gasped as I jerked her against me.

  “I’ll make you forget every minute he spent in this bedroom. Erase every kiss of his, wash away every touch.” She nodded without speaking. I placed my hand at the nape of her neck and kissed her slow and deep, then I let her go. “Lay down.”

  She complied, and I climbed in bed with her. We made love, taking it slow this time. Exploring each other’s bodies, we discovered what stoked the fire within us, until we were both exhausted. She was half-asleep, draped across me, and I kissed her temple.

  “Should I switch off the light?”

  She stirred. “Mmm…yeah.”

  I reached over, and my gaze fell on her purple lantern. “You kept the gift I gave you.”

  She lifted up on one elbow. “Of course I did.” She ran her hand over my chest, watching it. “Zack, Nick and I may have been together—” she said delicately, then she looked me in the eye “—but he never had my heart. It has always belonged to you. Always.”

  I brushed her hair back, too full of emotion to speak, and threaded my fingers through it, rubbing my thumb across her cheek, then brought my lips to hers as I reached over to turn off the light.

  Chapter 19

  Zack

  I was on my side when I opened my eyes, staring at the empty spot where she had been. I slid my hand across the sheet, then rolled over and got up. I found my tux pants and put them on. Entering the living room, I found it empty.

  “Zoe?”

  Silence answered me. Spotting my shirt near the couch I snatched it up and slid it on, catching sight of Zoe on the balcony. She was wrapped up in a blanket in one of the chairs, her legs drawn up to her chest. The wind blew her hair, the rising sun setting her skin aglow. She was so incredibly beautiful.

  It wasn’t until I approached the sliding door that I saw she’d been crying. At the sound of it moving along its tracks she straightened, putting her feet down and hurriedly wiping her face with a corner of the blanket.

  Too late, Zo. I already saw.

  I crouched in front of her and put a h
and on each of her thighs. She made a weak attempt to smile.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Placing her palms on the sides of my face, she leaned to place her forehead on mine. She sniffed. I didn’t think she would answer, but she whispered, “I’m so confused.” She sat back and let her hands drop into her lap as she gazed in the direction of the rising sun. “I feel like a slut, Zack. I slept with him. I slept with you….”

  I looked down. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”

  “No. It was nothing you said or did.”

  My stomach clenched, but I knew what I needed to do. “Zoe. I love you,” my voice broke, and I had to take a moment to pull it together, “more than I can say. But,” I took a deep breath, “if you are happy with Nick, I’ll go back home and leave you two together. I just needed you to know I never stopped loving you.” I sighed. “That I’m an idiot, but I’m an idiot who loves you enough to walk away and leave my happiness so you can have yours.”

  Someone knocked on her front door. Her eyes widened. “It’s Nick. It has to be.”

  “I’ll go into the bedroom.”

  Zoe

  I put my hand on the doorknob, taking a deep breath and composing myself before opening it.

  “Hey,” he said softly.

  “Hey.”

  “Can I come in?”

  I stepped back so he could enter, then closed the door behind him, thinking about what I would have to say. It would seem I’d come to a fork in the road of my life, and I had to choose. Only there really was no choice. I’d never stopped loving Zack. Not for one second.

  He walked toward the couch, but stopped abruptly. Too late I saw the plates from our pizza.

  “You might as well come out, Zack,” he growled.

  There was a hesitation, then the bedroom door opened, and Zack stepped out, his face tight.