Pure Healing

by Aja James

Aella would die before she let anything happen to Sophia. Dalair knew the depth of her devotion. Only that made him back down in the end.

  “Love you too, sweetheart,” Aella whispered and comforted herself with the sounds of Sophia’s deep, even breathing as restoring sleep claimed the young Queen.

  *** *** *** ***

  Something in the air had changed.

  The vampire grew restless and anxious with anticipation. Could it be that its Pure little playmates were beginning to catch on to the rules of the game?

  The thought was exhilarating.

  They had been such easy prey thus far, moving to and fro according to its will. Even the most patient cat grew bored with toying with stupid mice who just didn’t get it, no matter how many clues you threw at them.

  Useless little rodents.

  But the vampire sensed the shift in its playmates’ positioning and energy, as if they were preparing themselves for the fun to come.

  Guess sending the Viking finally roused the white knights to action.

  It was well worth the sacrifice. After all, how often did three pawns manage to draw out an entire battalion of Elite warriors?

  The vampire eyed its chess set avariciously. Which white knights would be eliminated? In what way? There were so many delicious possibilities.

  But the vampire must make the first move. As always. They would be waiting for its opening salvo.

  The vampire would make sure it was worth their wait.

  Chapter Seventeen Sophia practically limped to class on Thursday afternoon.

  Tristan, her designated Elite guard for the day, looked as if he felt twice as bad as she felt. Sophia did not envy him the pain he must be suffering.

  Valerius’ training of the Elite over the past three days had been single-minded, relentless, and brutal. Sophia was relieved beyond words not to have him for a trainer. Next to the Protector, Dalair’s instruction was cake walk.

  Sophia avoided Valerius as much as possible. She had it on good authority that each of the Elite would too, if they could, but the combat training was not something they could opt out on. Alexandros, in particular, seemed to be less than at his full strength. Perhaps he was still recovering from his wounds, but Sophia sensed a deeper issue, though she could not pinpoint exactly what that was.

  Only Cloud seemed to walk out of the grueling sessions relatively unscathed, and he even began to train the others beforehand, so that they would be better prepared for the wrath of the Roman. Perhaps it was because Cloud also specialized in distance combat. Thus he was better able to anticipate his opponent’s moves.

  Sophia didn’t know what to make of the black aura around the Protector. It radiated from his skin like an ominous shadow. More than a shadow – it appeared to have a life of its own. It was misery, despair, anger, and loathing all wrapped into one. And at the core of it all, there was pure anguish.

  The strange thing was that the tentacles of negative energy seemed inwardly focused, rather than outwardly projected. The obsidian waves consumed his body like a personal black hole, or at least what Sophia imagined black holes might look like.

  Bottomless. Fathomless. Light-less.

  Lifeless.

  She was surprised at first that Valerius spent so much time in training. It seemed to be all he did during the day. At night, he was either with a couple of other Elite warriors hunting or he was conferring with Ayelet, Orion and Eveline. In fact, Sophia hadn’t seen him with the Healer together in one place since their return from China.

  Rain, meanwhile, was seldom seen, except with Wan’er in the Shield’s clinic to tend to more severe wounds late at night. During the day, she attended to her human patients with her handmaiden in Chinatown. The timings of her comings and goings allowed her to avoid the other Dozen perfectly. When she was at the Shield, she kept to herself in the Enclosure. Only Wan’er attended her.

  Wasn’t the Phoenix Cycle still ongoing?

  Sophia was confused. For a while the Healer and her Consort seemed inseparable despite the ten years of tension between them since the first time they met. And now the tension was back.

  But it was a thousand times worse.

  When Sophia did see Rain, she felt the same bleak aura consuming the Healer that surrounded Valerious. It was not so obvious, but it was nevertheless there. That the Healer was so unsettled and depressed was something Sophia had never seen and never expected. Rain was equanimity and soothing calm personified. Though her Gift only allowed her to heal physical wounds, her compassion, sweetness and inner joy magnified her impact to the spiritual as well.

  Only one person was ever able to fluster her, just by being in the same room.

  Valerius.

  But wasn’t that all over? Didn’t they forge a deep and abiding bond through the Phoenix Rite and Cycle?

  Sophia chalked it up to a “lover’s spat.” Not that she knew personally what that meant, but it seemed somehow appropriate. She wished Valerius and Rain would just kiss and make up and have some mindblowing orgies and get over whatever

  misunderstanding it was that caused them to behave like melodramatic teenagers. Especially since their “get out of jail free” card was about to expire in a little over a week’s time.

  But what did she know? Maybe adults (especially the thousands years old ones) experienced deeper, more profound emotions that were beyond Sophia’s ability to grasp.

  With Tristan waiting for her in Harvard yard, Sophia swung into her Ancient Egyptian Civ class and took her habitual spot in the back of the room.

  Ere was already there waiting for her.

  “Hello Sophia,” he smiled at her in greeting.

  Sophia resisted sighing out loud in pleasure at the sound of his voice. She loved hearing him say those two little words. Secretly, she thought about recording his voice whenever they were together so she could play it back at night to lull her to sleep.

  But that was a little creepy, even for melodramatic teenagers.

  “Hi Ere,” she greeted in return. After the hours she spent helping him with research at his apartment, she was now comfortable enough in his presence to form coherent sentences. Not very elaborate, articulate ones, but at least she rose above grunting and gibberish.

  “Did you miss me?” he asked with a teasing quirk of his lips.

  “It’s only been four days,” she replied with a slight roll of her eyes, but inwardly she delighted in this almost ritualistic inquiry. He was flirting with her. She loved it when he was flirting with her. Now that she didn’t turn lobster red every time he did it, she enjoyed the teasing so much more.

  “One day,” he predicted in a delicious whisper that made Sophia shiver in anticipation, “you will tell me what I want to hear.”

  And then he turned toward the front of the class where Professor McGowan launched into his monologue about the Valley of Kings.

  Sophia heard the professor’s words, but her sight and thoughts were focused upon the beautiful creature sitting beside her, his knee casually touching hers underneath the table.

  He reminded her of ice.

  With the indefinable, ever-varying beauty of snowflakes. The perfect, smooth, glossy exterior of glass. There was a cool tranquility about him that both intimidated and comforted. No doubt he could freeze anyone over with one arctic glare. But when his chocolate eyes melted, they sparkled with liquid heat, so compelling anyone would fall under his spell.

  Sophia was suddenly reminded of the fire blazing in his living room, making the chamber almost overly hot. What a strange idea that a man of ice would adore the heat.

  Similarly, Sophia observed a muted white aura around him, as if he kept his true emotions frozen. But underneath the pale white glow there was an incandescent orange flame, its sparks licking the edges of the ghostly shell, as if it was trying to melt away his icy armor.

  More alert than ever to her responsibility of discovering and helping to recruit Pure souls, Sophia assessed Ere with new concentration. He had a Pure soul, she was almo
st certain of it.

  But something was off.

  There were times, so rarely she thought she might have imagined it, that he seemed resentful, antagonistic, lost.

  She caught only a flash of darkness in his aura when he’d walked past Dalair the first day they met in the school cafeteria. But it made a strong enough impression that Sophia remembered it. If she didn’t know better, she would have read danger and harm in his intentions at the time toward the Paladin. Toward herself, she’d never felt a single negative emotion from him.

  In the beginning there was curiosity. Then there was attraction and amusement. And sincere friendship.

  She liked Ere. A lot. And she knew without a doubt that he liked her too.

  Maybe she would bring up the possibility that he could be recruited with Ayelet and Aella. Definitely not Dalair though. The animosity Ere projected toward the warrior seemed entirely mutual.

  “Come to my apartment after school,” Ere leaned in to whisper, startling Sophia out of her musings.

  Blinking rapidly, Sophia struggled to formulate a reply. Half of her really, really wanted to go, but the other half was weighed down by duties. She had daily training with Dalair and Aella in the evenings, and she’d feel bad for enjoying herself with a gorgeous guy at his cozy abode, even if all they did was study, when everyone at the Shield was on edge, preparing for Armageddon.

  “I can’t,” she said after a while. “I’m kind of busy with stuff right now, but maybe things will get better after a couple of weeks.”

  Sophia almost fell backwards in her chair when she felt Ere take her right hand in his left and settle both their hands on his hard thigh.

  “Just for an hour or two,” Ere coaxed with his sinful voice, his thumb rubbing sensuously over her palm.

  For an iceman, he certainly knew how to melt others, Sophia thought, trying to pull her hand away from the tantalizing heat and friction of his touch.

  “I really can’t” she repeated desperately, not sure how long she could stick to her refusal if he kept up his seduction.

  Miraculously, he stilled. But instead of releasing her hand, he brought it to his lips and placed a hot, openmouthed kiss upon her sensitive palm.

  Sophia was so enchanted by his action and the feelings he evoked that she didn’t care if they were in the middle of class. She wouldn’t have noticed if everyone were staring agape at them. Right now, she felt as if she and Ere were entirely alone, in their own invisible world.

  “I will miss you,” he said with resignation and disappointment, even a hint of sadness. But then, as if he pulled a façade back in place, his lips quirked in a small, amused smile.

  “Until next time, lovely Sophia.”

  Before Sophia could react, Ere had risen from his seat and left the classroom in a few long strides. She didn’t even notice that the class had ended. Suddenly, she was craning her neck to watch after him as his figure became obscured by the throng of students pushing out of the room.

  She missed him already.

  *** *** *** ***

  “Your hair is so healthy now,” Wan’er said as she stroked through the long, silky black mass with Rain’s favorite comb that night. “It fairly glows with blue highlights.”

  “Hmm,” the Healer murmured, not really paying attention.

  She wondered whether Valerius had finished the day’s training and was back in his chamber or out again on a hunt. Every morning before the first rays of dawn, she would stand for long minutes outside his room, her hand poised to knock on his door.

  She only wanted to know whether he was feeling all right, she told herself. Whether he was beginning to gain his strength back. From what she’d seen and heard from the Elite, he’d been pushing everyone to their limits. She just hoped that he was not

  overextending himself. Her demands upon him had drained him considerably, she knew.

  And she wanted to see him. Preferably when he couldn’t see her. She could not bear what she felt for sure would be in his eyes. Confusion. Resentment. Hurt.

  She knew she should have explained her heart more clearly. She knew that there was the risk he misunderstood her letting him go as rejection, but she could not find the words. She did not have the composure nor the courage to pour out her feelings for him.

  What if telling him how she felt instigated his own feelings? What if he Fell for her because of her own selfish desires and cravings?

  What if he laughed at her, or worse, pitied her for loving her Consort when she’d made him promise not to love her?

  “I still say you should have stayed with the Protector for the full course of the Phoenix Cycle,” her handmaiden chided her. It was an oft repeated phrase, and Rain no longer bothered to explain herself. “You are not yet fully recovered, and it’s obvious Valerius is capable of providing more Nourishment. If even half the energy he expends on training were to go to you –”

  “You may retire,” Rain abruptly cut her off. “I want to be alone.”

  Wan’er paused in the middle of the seventyseventh stroke. “But I am not finished with your hair,” she protested.

  “I shall do the rest,” Rain replied, gently taking the comb from her handmaiden. “Go to bed. You are exhausted from tending the human and Pure clinics from dawn to dusk. I should not rely so heavily on you.”

  Wan’er tidied up a few things and folded back Rain’s silk coverlet on her bed. “I only wish I had half your Gift,” she said wistfully, “I wish I could more equally share your burden.”

  The handmaiden bid her goodnight and left the Enclosure quietly.

  And sometimes I wish I didn’t have this role, Rain thought to herself. Since meeting Valerius, I wish I were just like any other female, capable of loving a male with her whole heart and spirit.

  But in truth, she didn’t know whether it was her role as Healer or an innate flaw that she could not love a male completely. Was it her will to hold back or was it her inherent disposition?

  She thought she had loved Fan Li in her human life. When the enemy prince finally grew impatient with the sexual chase she led him on, he’d taken her by force. Brutally. Overpoweringly. Several times a day. He seemed obsessed with her and sensed that she withheld something from him, so he tried to dominate her physically and wring her surrender out of her.

  That she never surrendered was probably why he continued to be fascinated by her over the years. But that only made him redouble his efforts to force her into submission.

  Through it all, she kept her sanity and maintained her courtesan playfulness and sensuality by thinking of Fan Li. Imagining going back to him when it was all over, getting married like they’d planned and starting a family.

  But when that day had finally come, her love for him had not been enough. She’d chosen a cowardly death. She hadn’t been strong enough to live with her pain, humiliation and self-derision.

  And then there was her first Consort. To this day she couldn’t speak his name, even in her own mind. She hadn’t been looking for love; it was the farthest thing from her mind at the time. All she wanted to do was her duty as the Healer. Use the Gift the Goddess had granted her to its fullest. What love she had she wanted to give to her people, and to all the wounded, ailing, and mistreated.

  But he had tempted her as a woman. She had been both fascinated and frightened by the side of her that he brought out that she never knew she possessed.

  A carnal side. Sexual, greedy, covetous.

  A whimsical side. Playful, teasing, laughing.

  She had thought, surely, this was the male she was destined to be with. He’d helped her grow and heal so much. And he loved her. He wanted her forever.

  But she had failed him. After he’d given her so much, she’d utterly betrayed him. Though she tried everything to funnel her healing energy into him during his Decline, nothing worked. He was not a patient she could fix. Whatever he needed from her she couldn’t find a way to give him.

  Maybe she was broken, Rain thought numbly as she put the comb
down. Or maybe she was simply a selfish coward.

  Moving as if her body had a mind of its own, she rose from her seat before the vanity and left the chamber, making her way quickly down the twists of corridors to Valerius’ room.

  It was only midnight, but she couldn’t wait, even at the risk of running into him.

  Pausing only briefly in front of his door, she did not bother to knock before turning the knob and entering.

  He was not there.

  She breathed a sigh of relief and slowed her steps, walking around his bedroom more leisurely, taking in the sparse but rich and masculine furnishings, the gigantic bed that dwarfed everything else in the room, the wall of weapons, the closet of entirely black clothes, with the occasional dark gray thrown in.

  After a thorough tour of his personal space, she stopped beside his bed. Affectionately, she petted the dark blue coverlet, so dark it was almost back. She extended her fingers, then curled them back into fists, then extended them once more as if finally making up her mind, and snatched a large pillow off the mattress.

  It was the pillow he slept upon most often, she knew, based on her experience with his bedside preferences. He always slept on the left side of the bed, while she used the right. But more often than not, when they slept together, they were so entwined it didn’t matter which side they were on.

  Her heart constricted painfully at the thought and she hugged the pillow tightly to her chest, dipping her head down to bury her nose in the satiny casing. She inhaled deeply his heady scent, and her body immediately responded with blissful delight, sending a rush of hot liquid to her core.

  How she missed him!

  Would it always be such torture? After their shared experiences, she couldn’t imagine ever being so close to him, under the same roof, and not have him. Did time really wear down all edges? Would her emotions become less intense, more controllable?

  And then her eyes alighted on what was beneath the pillow. The handkerchief she’d given him ten years ago.

  “Why are you here?”

  Rain spun toward Valerius with a startled gasp and hid the handkerchief in her fist behind her back. She’d been so engulfed in her own thoughts and desires, she hadn’t noticed when he entered the room and closed the door behind him.