Shoot Me

by Lesley Crewe

  Bunny purred. “I can’t believe you called me.”

  “I can’t believe it either.”

  She traced a line down his face with her three-inch nail. “You’re just so unbelievably sexy.”

  He hoped she wouldn’t stab him in the eye. “Really?”

  “Oh yeah.” She pressed her finger against his mouth. “I just want to…”

  He had a cramp in his thigh. Needing to get her off his lap, he pushed her away as politely as he could.

  “I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair of me to call you at such a late hour. We both have to work in the morning.”

  Bunny reached out to run her fingers through his hair and cooed, “Well, why don’t you just sleep here?”

  Graham removed her hands. “We don’t have to rush things.”

  She looked puzzled. “Why did you call if you don’t like me?”

  Ah, geez. He blurted, “I do…we’ll get together soon.”

  Her face lit up. “Oh, Graham cracker. I’d love that.”

  He stumbled out the door when she finally released him from his goodnight kiss, and into the unfamiliar hallway. He looked around to get his bearings. Which way had he come in? He couldn’t remember and that pissed him off. Going to the left, he hit a dead-end, so he doubled-back, making sure he didn’t look at Bunny’s door as he hurried by. He was running by the time he got out of the building, his throat dry and his pulse racing. The key wouldn’t fit the truck door. What the hell was going on? Then he realized he was trying to use his house key.

  Finally in the truck, he slammed his fist into the steering wheel, not once but twice. She called him Graham cracker. Only one girl had ever called him that, the very first time she nibbled on his ear under the gym bleachers, the first time he knew he wanted the world to stop and let him live in her arms and against her body for the rest of his life.

  He’d never forgive Elsie for this.

  Hildy opened her diary, and settled herself into the pillows. Her eyes burned, with that sandpaper sensation caused by lack of sleep. She blinked several times and looked around. Despite the Johnny Depp posters, it was still recognizable as the room of her childhood, with its gabled windows and view of the garden. Tomorrow she’d make a start and put it right, unpack her belongings and surround herself with her dearest possessions, gathered after a lifetime of adventure.

  She put on her glasses and took the top off her favourite pen. This nightly ritual of scribbling down random thoughts was a way of staving off loneliness. As a spinster, Hildy didn’t have the luxury of lying next to a loved one, telling them about her day before she fell asleep.

  She wrote, “It’s difficult to be here. Harder than I imagined. It seemed like such a good idea when I was separated from this place by an ocean, but now that I’ve returned, I wonder if I’ve done the right thing. Memories crowd me. People haunt me, especially in this room.

  “The house is the same as it always was, a keeper of secrets and sorrows, love and heartache. I see it all in the family who live here now.

  “Elsie and Graham are twisting in the wind. The girls are beautiful but spoiled, like all youngsters. Dahlia’s young man is the only one who tells the truth. I’m afraid Juliet and Faith are the same as ever and Robert is a male counterpart to his wife, all of them totally self-absorbed.

  “Oh dear. What a silly little family to be involved with. Forgive me, sister dear, if that sounds harsh, but it makes my job more difficult.

  “What am I going to do about the treasure?”

  Chapter Five

  Dahlia banged on the bathroom door. “Slater will be here any second. If you want to do this, we leave in five minutes…do you hear me?”

  “The whole street can hear you,” Lily yelled back. “Give it a rest. I’ll be right down.”

  “This was your idea, remember.”

  Lily heard her sister march down the stairs. She gripped the sink with her hands and leaned into the mirror.

  “Coward.”

  She liked pink hair. So why change for some stupid boy? How weak-minded did one have to be to conform to the norm? She was better than that, surely.

  “Yeah. And lonely,” she admitted to her reflection. Not that she didn’t have a few offers from guys. Just not the guy.

  “Lily livered. You’re doing it for all the wrong reasons.”

  There was a sharp rap on the door. Her Aunt Faith shouted, “No wonder psychology is your major. You and your split personality get out of this bathroom. Some of us have old bladders, ya know.”

  “Eww.” Lily pushed herself away from the sink and jerked the door open. Her aunt stood there with a pink shower cap on.

  “God. Can’t a person have a little privacy?”

  Faith pushed her aside. “Not when you hear voices in your head.” She shut the door in her face.

  Lily hit it with the palm of her hand. “Your latent hostility is a sign of unfulfilled desire!”

  Faith yelled out, “You’re so right. My desire to pee.”

  Outside, a horn blew three times.

  She stormed down the stairs. “Hold your horses. I’m coming.”

  Lily was in a much better frame of mind later when the tin foil came off her head. She turned one way and than the other to look in the mirror at her new do, ignoring the self-satisfied smirk on her sister’s face.

  “Huh? Huh? What did I tell you? It’s a thousand times better.”

  Lily had to admit she was right. “It’s sort of a rich eggplant colour, wouldn’t you say?”

  Slater stood behind Dahlia. She’d called him over to see the final result. He grinned at Lily. “Whatever it’s called, it’s hot.”

  “Do you think?”

  “I’d do ya.”

  Lily giggled but Dahlia’s jaw dropped. “Slater…she’s my sister!”

  “She asked my opinion.”

  “About colour.”

  “Just trying to be helpful.”

  Dahlia pointed her finger at the back of the salon. “Go.”

  Slater leaned toward Lily. “Call me.” He laughed and ran off but Dahlia still got him on the back of the head with a wet towel.

  The moment of truth had arrived. As she walked toward the psych lab, Lily’s mouth was dry. This ticked her off—it meant she had too much invested in this little experiment of hers, one planned night after sleepless night, one that involved getting Eli Stanton to notice her.

  She knew all the girls in psych class would give their eye teeth just to have Eli look in their direction, let alone talk to them. Every female she knew was mad about him and that fascinated her. How does a person do that?

  He wasn’t classically handsome like Slater. He wasn’t built. He wasn’t even that tall. But there was something about him. The way he sauntered into class, with that rumpled just-out-ofbed look, his brown hair messed up and sort of spiky and those gorgeous brown eyes giving everyone a sexy sideways glance. He never seemed to wear anything but a baggy white T-shirt and faded jeans but somehow he looked better than anyone.

  The thing Lily loved the most was his smile. And his white teeth. And his lips. And the way his cheeks always looked like he’d just come in from the cold.

  She knew she had it bad.

  He looked at her sometimes, but of course that was usually because she was staring at him. Odds were he was bound to turn his face in her direction once in a while. He even asked her for help with an assignment once, but she didn’t dare think it was because he liked her. Everyone knew she was the smart one in class.

  Well, she’d soon find out.

  She held her breath and walked through the door.

  Eli Stanton was doing his usual schtick at the back of the lab—charming the birds right out of the trees. It would’ve thrilled most guys to have every female within a ten-mile radius vying for attention, but Eli couldn’t count on just his saucy smile as the reason for their ardour. He knew there were rumours floating around about his old man and his money.

  The only girl he hadn’t been able to imp
ress was Lily, the clever one with the pink hair. He admired her spunk. And the diamond in her nostril turned him on, big time. Sometimes he saw her looking at him, but whenever he flashed his pearly whites at her, she stuck her nose back in a book. She was the only one he wanted to know.

  His lab partner, Tiffany, poked him with a pencil. “Oh my God, freak girl has joined the dark side.”

  Eli looked up. And his heart stopped.

  It was Lily but it wasn’t Lily. He couldn’t take his eyes off her at first. She was the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen. He was thoroughly rattled and unsure about what to do, so he sat there and pretended to ignore her.

  Tiffany persisted. “Do you see her?”

  He shrugged. “Yeah, I see her.”

  “I suppose she thinks she looks good,” Tiffany sniffed. “But she’s still a freak.”

  Tiffany could be a bitch. “How would you know?”

  “Because she is, everyone knows that. She never goes out with guys. She’s a lesbian.”

  “No way.”

  “Don’t believe me? Go ask her out.”

  Eli ignored her.

  Tiffany poked him again. “I bet you a hundred dollars she won’t go out with you.”

  Eli leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. “Don’t be stupid.”

  “You heard me. A hundred bucks.”

  Eli shook his head in disbelief. “Are you sure you want to risk it? What happens if she not only goes out with me, but falls madly in love with me? What then?”

  “I’ll owe you two hundred bucks,” she laughed.

  “Get a life, Tiff.”

  “Coward.”

  He looked at Lily again. This was crazy. He was dying to go over to her before the professor walked in but if he did, Tiffany would think he was playing along. Screw it. He got out of his seat. “We do not have a bet. Got that?”

  “Got it,” she smirked.

  He walked right up to Lily’s desk and willed his hands to stop shaking. “Hey there.”

  He groaned inwardly. You’re a smooth operator, Stanton.

  Lily looked at him, almost with contempt. Two seconds in and this wasn’t going well.

  “Hello.”

  “You’re Lily, right?”

  “You know that.”

  “Well, I wasn’t sure. What with the pink hair missing-in-action.” He gave her a half-hearted laugh.

  “Excuse me?”

  He wiped his upper lip. “Listen. I’m Eli, by the way.”

  “I know that.”

  “Oh yeah, right.” He mopped his forehead and rubbed his hands on the back of his pants. “Well, thank goodness for that—now I’m not a stranger and you’ll be more apt to have lunch with me when class is over.”

  “I will?”

  He tried his standard move—a dazzling smile. “I’m buying.”

  “Why would I suddenly go to lunch with you? You’ve never asked me to lunch before.”

  He nodded and pulled on his earlobe. “There’s always a first time, right?”

  “And it just happens to be when my hair is a different colour.” She looked away and opened her book. “That tells me everything I need to know.”

  “Need to know about what?”

  She pushed her hair back off her forehead with her fingertips. It fell like silk over her shoulders. He broke out in a cold sweat.

  “About why I have no intention of having lunch with you.”

  “Oh.”

  “Class is about to start. You better get back to your seat.”

  He’d never been rejected before. It didn’t feel too good.

  “Right. Okay then.” He tossed his head towards his chair. “I better get back.”

  She nodded.

  “To my seat.”

  “Bye.”

  He turned around and walked back to the lab table. He didn’t dare look at Tiffany.

  She was laughing. “I told ya. You owe me a hundred bucks.”

  “Shut it.”

  The prof walked in and they settled down to do their work. Well, some of them did. Eli spent the entire time rehearsing what he wanted to say to Lily at the end of class, but the minute they were dismissed, she jumped out of her seat and took off before he had a chance to do anything. He panicked and ran after her.

  He caught up with her by the Coke machine. Putting his hand on her arm, he stood in front of her. “Please, Lily. Can I just talk to you?”

  “About what?”

  “Are you mad at me or something?”

  She averted his gaze and looked at her books. “Don’t be stupid. Why would I be mad at you?”

  “Because I didn’t ask you out when you had pink hair?”

  “Don’t flatter yourself.” She pulled out of his grip and walked away. He’d blown it. But suddenly she turned and marched back to him.

  “It’s a little suspicious when a guy only sniffs around me after I’ve changed something as superficial as my hair colour.”

  He put his hand on his heart. “Hey, that’s not fair. I’ve always noticed you. But you’ve never given me the time of day. Why have you ignored me?”

  Lily started to open her mouth, but he pressed on. “And yes. I have to say I did notice you today because you’re freakin’ beautiful. I love your hair this way. I hated it pink. There, I said it. If that makes me a creep, so be it.”

  She seemed shocked. He didn’t know if that was a good thing. She looked at him for what seemed like a very long time. He wanted her to say something.

  She finally did. “Tell me this. Are you impressed with the package or the girl?”

  He went limp and pretended to stagger backwards. He looked her up and down and gave her a big smile. “Oh, definitely the girl…but I have to admit…the package is heavenly.”

  She blushed.

  “Please say you’ll have lunch with me?”

  They talked for four hours in the cafeteria. People came and went at their table but they never noticed. They didn’t even realize they missed all their afternoon classes. It wasn’t until the guy who cleaned the tables gave them a dirty look that they realized it was so late.

  Eli walked her to the exit. She stood there and looked everywhere but at him. Finally, she said softly, “I guess I better go.”

  He couldn’t wait anymore. “Then I must kiss you goodbye.” He gathered her in his arms, covered her beautiful mouth and was lost.

  After an eternity, he pulled back and looked at her. “You’re delicious. You taste like strawberries.”

  She just looked at his mouth.

  “Let me taste you again.”

  They ended up at his place, a top floor apartment on Maynard Street, but afterwards neither of them could recall how they got there. They took the stairs two at a time and Eli had a hard time getting the key out of his pocket, what with Lily trying to take off his shirt and him glued to her lips.

  The lady who lived next door opened the door with a bag of garbage in her hand.

  Eli waved when he came up for air.

  “Mrs. Minelli…how’s tricks?” He went back to unbuttoning Lily’s jeans.

  “Not so good. My hip, my back, my rotten doctor. It’s a nightmare, he’s a butcher, that’s what he is….He doesn’t know from nothin’…”

  “Gotta go, Mrs. Minelli.” Eli and Lily fell into the apartment and rolled around on the floor, Eli trying to shut the door with his foot.

  “You crazy kids. Here…allow me.” Mrs. Minelli reached inside and shut the door for them.

  “I love Mrs. Minelli,” he confessed, sliding off his belt, before he helped Lily pull her top over her head.

  “I’m so glad.” She reached behind her back to undo her bra and threw it over his head. “But you have to love me first.”

  He pulled her on top of him. “I love it when you’re bossy.”

  Lily had to be dreaming. She wanted to explode and it was all she could do to raise her head off the mattress that lay in the middle of Eli’s living room floor. They were side by side on
their stomachs. She ate chocolate pudding out of a cup while he watched her.

  “How come you don’t have any furniture?”

  “I’m never here, so why bother.”

  “True.” She took her spoon and scooped out another bite from the plastic container she held. “You don’t have anything in your fridge, either.”

  “I’m never here, so why bother.”

  She licked the spoon, sliding it out of her mouth slowly. “I’m starving. I’ve burned a lot of calories this afternoon because of you. I think I love this diet.”

  He gave her a wide grin. “You’ll be skin and bones before the week’s out.”

  Lily looked at him, so close beside her. She knew she was on fire. She put down her cup, reached over and folded her arms around his neck.

  “I’ve never felt like this before. Is this what love is? Do you feel it too?”

  He pushed her back onto the mattress, reached over and held up the container of pudding and let it spill all over her. Then he lowered his head and held his tongue against the soft skin of her belly. He licked her slowly and softly at first, then harder and deeper, until all the pudding was gone. He pulled himself up and over her, whispering in her ear.

  “Do you honestly think I’ll love anyone else, after having my chocolate and strawberry girl?”

  “Oh, Eli.”

  “Baby, you’re the only recipe I’ll ever need.”

  The sisters met on the stairs that morning as Faith shuffled up with a mug of coffee and Elsie ran down with a toothbrush in her mouth.

  “Mmm.”

  “Morning to you too. Do you know that crackpot auntie of ours woke up around five and started to bang things around in her bedroom? Now she’s out in the garden bending the ear off poor Mrs. Noseworthy.”

  Elsie put her toothbrush in her cheek. “Make her something for lunch. I’ll get more groceries on my way home.”

  “I’m sure she won’t starve. She’s got the poor soul out there picking all her cukes.”

  Elsie started to leave but Faith held her arm. “Do you think I can write, Else?”

  Her sister hesitated only a second but she noticed it.

  “You can write. Of course you can. You just need a good story.”