The P.I. Contest
Page 19
God help her, she was starting to cry again. Kate didn’t bother trying to fight it this time.
“Kate, sweetheart. Do you want me to leave?”
She had no idea how to answer him. Because what she wanted was impossible. She wanted him to be here. But out of love. Not just for the baby, but for her, too.
A knock sounded on the door, and Dr. Janssen strolled in, a sensible-looking woman with grayish-blond hair, a stethoscope around her neck and Kate’s brand-new file in her hands.
“Congratulations, Kate and Jay. I’m happy to confirm that you are indeed going to have a baby. Now let’s have a good look at Mom and make sure everything is off to the best start possible.”
“DO YOU HAVE TO GO BACK to work now?” Jay asked.
The appointment was over and they were back on the street. Kate didn’t bother buttoning her jacket. The air was much warmer now. And she could see buds on the trees. Spring was finally here.
“I should,” she said. “But I’m not going to.” She couldn’t imagine heading back into her boring little cubicle to do her boring research job, after everything that had happened today.
She wanted to be over-the-moon excited about the baby—and a part of her was. But she had so many other feelings to process right now.
She longed for the simple anger she had felt when she’d found out Conner had been cheating on her. In the end she’d recovered from that heartbreak with amazing ease.
It would be different with Jay.
“Let’s walk,” he suggested.
She didn’t have a better plan for how to spend a glorious day like this one. He stepped up beside her and took her hand. She looked at him curiously. What kind of boundaries was he expecting to have in their relationship?
He must have seen the question in her eyes because he asked, “Is it okay if I hold your hand?”
“I guess so, but I have to tell you, I’m very confused right now. I understand that you want a role in our baby’s life, but what’s this?” she asked, lifting up their combined hands.
“What it is will depend on you. Kate, knowing you has changed my life.”
“Because of the baby. I get that. But I never meant to trap you with this pregnancy.”
“I’m not talking about the baby right now. Just you. How do I put this?” He sighed. “It isn’t easy.”
They crossed the street and now Kate could see Central Park right in front of them. Miraculously, all the leaves seemed to be budding at the same time, smearing the trees with a vibrant light greenish glow—more a suggestion of color than the real thing.
“I used to think that I needed to run away from commitment in my life. I thought it was because I’d had too much of it, from a much too early age.”
“And you had,” she agreed.
“Maybe. But this weekend I realized that I was avoiding commitment in my relationships for another reason. Because I was afraid. Because I thought I would screw up. No matter how successful I became on the outside, inside I was still a loser.”
She couldn’t believe he would describe himself that way. “That is not you.”
“But I didn’t believe it. Not until I met you. When I’m around you I feel like I have what it takes to be a good husband and a father…”
“Did you say husband?”
“…because I love you.”
“Wait a minute—”
“Stop.” He put a finger on her lips. “Before you say another word, I want you to know this. I’m offering you the whole package. It may be a bigger package than you expected, because Eric is part of the deal, but I love you and want to raise babies with you.”
She could feel her eyes growing wider and her heart soared. But his finger was still on her mouth, and he wasn’t finished talking.
“I never thought I wanted children, but if they’re with you, nothing would make me happier.”
Kate waited a few seconds before speaking. “You’re done?”
“I’m done. You can shoot me down if you want. I just had to tell you how I feel.”
“I can give you my answer now?”
He swallowed, then nodded.
Kate pulled her hands gently from his grasp and placed them on either side of his head. And then she kissed him.
The taste of Jay was something she’d never forgotten. The feel of his lips, the way his tongue probed against hers. Jay pulled her closer and returned her kiss like a man who’d been thinking of nothing but this for the past thirty-seven days.
Which happened to be the number of days since they’d last made love. And, yes, she’d been counting.
Finally he eased away. “I love kissing you. I could do it all night. But I want to know what you’re thinking.”
“That I love you. That I’ve never been happier. Even if it weren’t for the baby, Jay, though of course I want this child very much.”
He ran a hand over her hair, seeming to relish in just touching her. And she loved being touched by him. At the same time she needed him to understand what she was trying to say.
“I’ve missed you,” he said. “Nothing has been as good without you. Especially at work.”
“Would you consider going back to flying if we moved in together? That way Eric wouldn’t be alone when you were out of town.”
“Moving in together. I like the sound of that. And, hell yes, I’d love to get my old job back. Although I have an even better idea.”
“Which is?”
“Will you marry me, Kate Cooper?”
“You’re right. That is a much better idea.”
He kissed her again, a long, slow, loving kiss. Then he made another proposition. “How about this? You and I get married. I go back to flying. And you fill in for me at Fox & Fisher. How does that sound?”
“Does the word paradise mean anything to you?”
Ever since she was a child, she’d longed to be part of a big, warm, loving family. Now her deepest wish was about to come true. Not just at work, where Lindsay, Nathan and Nadine were like the siblings she’d never had.
But at home, with Jay and Eric and the baby on its way, and the future babies, however many there might be.
The number no longer mattered. Because the important thing, above all else, was Jay.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-4854-4
THE P.I. CONTEST
Copyright © 2010 by Carla Daum.
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