2 Queenie Baby - Out of Office

by Christina A. Burke

  "Hi, Mom," I said, answering the phone.

  Mark's head peeked up at me. "You answered the phone!"

  I held up a finger.

  "Are you kidding me?" He rested his head on my stomach in defeat.

  "Why are you calling Mom?" I asked.

  "Are you in bed?" she asked.

  "Yes," I replied.

  "Naked?"

  "That's none of your business."

  "Oh, thank god!" she cried. "Woohoo! I just won fifty bucks from your sister!"

  "You had a bet about my sex life?" I asked.

  "Your sister said you'd somehow sabotage this the same way you did with Rick," she explained. "I said my girl's gettin' laid on vacation."

  I rolled my eyes. "Do you have to say things like that, Mom?"

  She snorted. "Oh, get the stick outta your ass, Diana."

  "Why did you call, Mom?"

  "We've decided to stay the night when we come over for the Renaissance Fair next week. How many Grands can you take?" she asked, like she was selling fifty-fifty tickets at the fire hall.

  "Are you kidding me?" I asked. "None! I can't take any. I'm on the second floor, remember? And I only have one bedroom."

  "Don't give me that," my mom cried. "I take care of them everyday. You can take a couple for a night. How about Granddaddy and Grover? They can make it up your stairs just fine."

  "They fight constantly. And they'll burn down my condo. Besides," I reasoned, "Granddaddy is still recovering from the accident."

  I glanced down at Mark. I think he had fallen asleep on top of me. I didn't blame him. Having your girl answer the phone while you're doing your best work couldn't be very inspiring. I needed to wrap things up.

  "They've got Granddaddy practicing on a flight of stairs at rehab every week. He's made a miraculous recovery," my mom insisted.

  "Fine!" I snapped. "But you're responsible for getting them to and from the fair. I'll be working most of the time."

  "I knew you'd come around," my mom said. "So now that we're done with business, let's talk pleasure. How's he in bed? Better than the accountant I hope."

  "Goodbye, Mom," I said and hung up the phone.

  "I can't believe you took a phone call while I was down there." He lifted his head and glared at me.

  "I'm really sorry about that. You were doing great," I said, trying to be encouraging.

  He rolled his eyes and flipped over onto his back. Uh-oh. This was going to take some major making up.

  I crawled onto his chest and kissed the stubble on his chin. He opened his eyes.

  "You really know how to kill a man's libido," he grumbled.

  I kissed his lips and then his neck. "Maybe I can make it up to you," I said kissing his chest and then moving lower. "I know this surefire trick…"

  * * *

  We pulled up to Carlos' villa at noon. Practice was set for later that day. This evening we would have another opportunity to play together at the party. Not a lot time for the band to get used to having a new lead singer, but I'd played with less practice. It always seemed to work out one way or another.

  I don't think Mark was quite prepared for Carlos in full pirate mode. Not to mention all the pirate decor that had been brought in for the party.

  "This is a joke, right?" Mark asked as we walked through the entranceway and back to the pool area. We emerged onto what looked to be a set from Pirates of the Caribbean. There were ropes and planking around the pool to mimic a dock, a model of a pirate ship floated lazily by, and palm trees and sand made the surrounding area feel like a beach. And right in the middle of it all stood Carlos, decked out in all his pirate glory.

  He greeted us with a big smile. "Welcome aboard, mateys!"

  Mark stared at him dumbfounded.

  I stepped forward and gave Carlos a quick hug. "That's some sword you got there," I quipped.

  "So the lasses tell me," he replied with a jaunty tip of his head.

  "Oh, brother," Mark said.

  I jabbed him with my elbow. "Some place you got here, Carlos," he said.

  "Aye, my own little pirate's den," Carlos replied merrily. "Can I get you two a drink?"

  "Yep, a big one," Mark said. I gave him another jab in the side.

  With drinks in hand, Carlos showed us to our room. It was a beautiful suite with double-doors that opened onto a balcony with a breath-taking view of the city below. There was a giant bed in the middle of the room and a tiled bathroom with a Jacuzzi tub.

  "Practice is at two. Come on down when you get settled. There's a buffet lunch in the dining room, and the band should be here soon." He removed his hat, gave us a sweeping bow, and shut the door as he left.

  Mark said, "What a piece of work."

  "Oh, he kind of grows on you after awhile."

  "Yeah, like barnacles."

  I laughed. "We'll make a pirate out of you yet."

  "Come here and give me a kiss, wench," he said, making a grab for me.

  Kissing turned into groping, but I put the brakes on when he reached for the straps of my white linen sundress. "We need to get downstairs. I have a lot of catching up to do if I'm going to be ready for the show."

  "Work, work, work," Mark grumbled. "I'm going to have to teach you how to have a real vacation."

  I gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Agreed," I said, adding, "maybe we could go to Atlanta. I'd like to see how you live."

  Mark shrugged. "It's not very exciting. And I'm not there much."

  "Still," I insisted, "it would be nice to see the small things about you. Like how you organize your drawers and what type of tub cleaner you prefer."

  He laughed. "I have a cleaning lady, so I have no tub cleaner preferences. And you can do what you want with my drawers." He wiggled his eyes suggestively.

  I groaned. "You're worse than Granddaddy."

  "Not even close," he said. "But it's something to aspire to."

  "Let's go." I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the door.

  The band members had arrived and were busily munching their way through the buffet. A man with a bald head and eye patch saluted me as Mark and I walked by. Mark cut his eyes to me and sighed.

  "Diana," Carlos called from across the pool, "I'd like you to meet my band, The Brethren. Band," he said grandly, "the lovely Diana."

  The five members of the band gave a hearty pirate cheer and immediately went back to grazing at the buffet table.

  Mark turned to me. "I'm going to grab some lunch and make a few calls. Have fun with your band of brothers." He kissed me on the forehead.

  As I watched him walk away, Andre appeared at my side. I must have had a dreamy look on my face because he said, "Finally did the deed, huh?"

  I cut my eyes to him. "None of your business."

  He turned to me, making me face him. "I get it, Diana," he said earnestly. "You're with him, and maybe you even love him, but the bottom line is you're not with me. That doesn't change how I feel about you."

  I rolled my eyes. "I'm really annoyed with you right now, Andre. You hurt me last summer, and you continue to leave out key details from your life, even now that we're supposed to be friends."

  He took my arm and led me over to a shady seat by the pool. "Look," he began, "I know I was wrong, and I'm trying to fix that now. No matter what happens with us."

  "There's no 'us,'" I reminded him.

  He waved his hand. "Okay, but I'm still trying to make things right. Do you know what Linda said when I told her I thought it was time to get a divorce?"

  I shook my head and feigned disinterest, but my morbid curiosity was aroused.

  "She said, 'Thank God! I didn't want to hurt you, but I want to get on with my life.'" He glanced over at me.

  "Ouch," I said. "What about being Catholic and all that?"

  "Exactly what I said." His voice rose as he got worked up thinking about. "Turns out she hasn't been to church in over a year. She met somebody and has been trying to figure out how to tell me she wants a divorce."
/>   I shook my head. Life is strange. If I hadn't found out Andre was married during our red hot rendezvous in L.A. last summer, we would've still been together.

  "I'm sorry, Andre," I said quietly.

  He shook his head. "Not as much as I am. But my point is you have to be honest with yourself and the people you care about to be happy in life."

  I nodded in agreement, not sure where this was going.

  "You deserved better last summer," he said. "And you deserve better now."

  I put my hand on his arm. "Andre," I said more firmly, "I'm happy with Mark. And I think we have a future together. This isn't just a fling."

  "I know," he said, putting his hand over mine. "I care about you and want the best for you even if it's not me. That's why I did some more digging on Mark."

  I drew my hand back angrily. "I didn't ask you to do that! It's not your place."

  "Diana, listen," he said. "Mark's not retired. He's still working for the CIA."

  * * *

  Andre's words echoed in my head as I warmed up with the band. I didn't know what to think. Was Andre just trying to come between Mark and me? Or was he telling the truth? Mark was gone for over an hour. Not exactly confidence inspiring. I watched him suspiciously as I tweaked my guitar.

  Yes, I know I should've just asked him directly about it. But this time I'd decided to wait and watch. One reason being I didn't want to accuse him unfairly. And the other reason being I wanted to gather evidence. If there was any, of course.

  Carlos ran through a couple of new songs for us to harmonize on. The goal was to have me in one full set through a combination of duos with Carlos, backup vocals, and three solos. For the solos, I was going to perform two originals and a rocked up version of Patsy Cline's "Walking After Midnight." I was excited to do the originals but wasn't sure about doing a fifty-year-old country song in front of a big audience. Roger and Phil were insistent; it was sure to be a crowd-pleaser.

  After three run-throughs with the band and a standing ovation from our small audience, I thought they just might be right. My nervousness about performing in such a large arena receded a tiny bit. My nervousness about my relationship with Mark, however, was another thing. I couldn't get Andre's words out of my head. I just couldn't believe Mark would actually lie to me. It seemed to go against everything I knew about him.

  We didn't have any time alone until we went back to our room to change for the party. I had decided I was going to let the CIA thing drop for the time being, but inwardly I was freaking out and trying not to show it. He was playful and lovey-dovey. Not exactly a match made in heaven.

  I slapped his hand away when he pinched my backside.

  "Oh, c'mon," he said as we walked into the room. "We have time."

  I gave him a look. "I don't want to go down there all mussed up," I said primly.

  He sighed. "You're no fun in work mode."

  "Speaking of work mode," I began, "how'd all your phone calls go?"

  His back was towards me, so I couldn't see his face.

  "Just fine," he said, walking out onto the balcony. "Ed's still waiting to hear from Carol about her taking over the business. He's ready to make a move. What's Carol saying?"

  "Not much," I replied. "She was going to see the accountant this week. She sounds scared to go it alone." I followed him onto the balcony.

  "I don't blame her. That place is a handful. The reconstruction project isn't going to make it any easier either. And we need to find a home for the agency while the plaza is rebuilt." The staffing agency was located in a large, mostly vacant, commercial building occupying prime real estate in downtown Annapolis. Ed had brought Mark on to rebuild and modernize the space.

  I agreed that Carol needed to make a decision and soon. My own dependency on income from Greene's Staffing had suddenly dropped due to the large check in my purse. However, I knew how easy it was for a musician to be playing in front of ten thousand one day and flipping burgers the next. I wasn't counting on any more big checks. Besides, I liked Greene's, and Carol was a good friend. I wanted to see her business succeed.

  "So what other business ventures do you have going on?" I asked, getting back to the task at hand.

  He glanced over at me. A little suspiciously, I thought.

  "There are a couple of projects that I'm trying to wrap up in Atlanta. Ed wants me to take a look at some property in South Carolina once we get back. Enough to keep me busy, for sure."

  Which brought me to another topic. "So how's this all going to work with you living in Atlanta and flying all over the world to who-knows-where all the time?" I asked petulantly.

  He sighed. "Couldn't we have just had sex?" he asked. "Do we have to do this now?"

  I knew I wasn't being fair, but who said love was fair? And this was starting to feel like love. At least on my part. I wasn't sure about James Bond here. I was really getting my fur up thinking about him lying to me about his past. Why do men do that? Don't they know we always find out?

  "I guess since the trip is almost over, I'm starting to think about the future. What's going to happen when we get back?"

  He turned to me and pulled me close. I inhaled his heavenly scent. He really was the best smelling man ever. "You're going to go back to work for the vampire. Maybe do some more singing with Carlos. I'm going to help Ed with the new building and tie up loose ends in Atlanta."

  I looked up. "Tie up loose ends," I repeated.

  He nodded.

  "As in 'tie up loose ends because I'm moving to Annapolis?'" I asked hopefully.

  He nodded again. "Did you think we were going to get off the plane in Baltimore and just go our separate ways?"

  "No, but we've never talked about the future. I really don't know anything about you," I said in a soft voice.

  "Well, then let's keep working on that," he said, kissing my forehead and then moving down to my lips.

  A knock at the door interrupted our mini-make out session. Mark groaned and pulled away. I went inside and opened the door.

  It was the housekeeper with an armful of clothes. "Mr. Carlos say you to be pirates for the party," she said, handing me the clothes.

  "We're supposed to dress as pirates?" I asked dumbfounded.

  I could hear Mark groan behind me.

  "Jes," she said with a nod.

  "Do we have to?" I whined.

  "He say you walk the plank if no' dressed. He loco," she added, making the crazy sign on the side of her head and slipping out the door.

  I turned to Mark with the armful of pirate clothes. "I guess the Captain has spoken."

  "You so owe me for this," Mark grumbled.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  My wench costume left little to the imagination. The white bodice, accented by a wide black belt, was a couple of inches too low. The sapphire blue skirt was cut well above the knee in the front, and ruffles cascaded jauntily down the back. The garter belt with knife holder was actually kinda cool.

  I glanced over at Mark and giggled.

  "Don't say a word, or I'm taking this crap off," he growled. He was dressed as more of a deckhand than a pirate. His hat was an old red bandana tied in classic sailor style, and his pants were tattered to the knees. My favorite part was the large green parrot built into the shoulder of his shirt.

  I giggled again. "C'mon and shake a leg. We're late."

  "Aye, aye, m'lady," he said, offering me his arm. The parrot bobbed back and forth on his shoulder.

  Andre was attending the entrance to the pool area. His costume was divine: classic pirate garb complete with hat, sexy black pants and boots, and a white cotton shirt open to show his impressive pecs.

  Mark took one look at him and mumbled under his breath.

  "Like the costumes?" Andre asked with a smirk. "I picked them out myself."

  "Thanks," Mark said. "I'll make sure to return the favor someday."

  "Anytime," Andre replied.

  I glared at Andre and grabbed Mark's arm. Didn't need a mutiny before the part
y had started.

  "Ah, there she is!" Carlos called. "Looking like the mighty fine wench she is."

  "Great," said Mark, "now I've got to keep an eye on him too. Your wench costume is gettin' him all hot and bothered."

  Carlos was giving my cleavage a good once over. I snapped my fingers up at my head. "Eyes here, Carlos," I said.

  He had the good manners to blush. "Ah, m'lady must forgive me. I am quite taken with your costume." He kissed my hand. He waved a finger at Mark. "Very authentic, mate."

  I thought I heard Mark growl at him.

  "When are we going to play?" I asked, glancing around at the crowd of thirty or so pirates and wenches.

  "We'll do a full set. Break for some gruel and then do two more," he replied. "Not much time to get this thing together." He rubbed his hands together like he couldn't wait to get started.

  The night passed with a whirl of cups of ale, pirate punch, and a couple of mock sword fights. Our sets drew several rounds of applause. Roger and Phil looked pleased, but I still didn't trust them. I needed to get them alone and grill them about their plans. It wasn't going to happen tonight, as I didn't think my wench garb would get me taken seriously. I knew it all hinged on what happened at the concert tomorrow night. I had to admit that I was feeling a little nervous about playing to such a large crowd.

  I said as much to Mark in between sets. "You're a rock star," he said taking a swig of his grog. Definitely not his first I noted. "That's what rock stars do." The parrot on his shoulder nodded in agreement.

  It was really distracting talking to him with the parrot on his shoulder. The few times he'd tried to lean down and kiss me had been really awkward. I swear the bird was sneaking a peak down my blouse.

  "But an audience of ten thousand?" I said. "That's a lot more than a busy night at McGlynn's. There's all the room sound dynamics that are different," I worried. "And don't even get me started about playing with a band I barely know."

  Mark put his hand over mine. "I think you're making this way too complicated. Carlos!" Mark shouted like he was looking for the waiter. "Where is that kook?"