Hold Back The Dawn

by Duncan, Judith

  Her virginal body responded to the rhythm of his, the molten tension building within her, carrying her toward the sunburst of sexual discovery. She slipped her hand beneath the waistband of his briefs in a desperate, almost frantic attempt to remove that last barrier between them.

  Steve tore his mouth away from hers and caught her hand in a crushing grip. "No...Leslie, no." He buried his face in her hair, his body trembling, his breathing harsh as he whispered, "Help me...God help me, Leslie. I want you so badly...I don't want to stop."

  The tortured desperation of his plea penetrated the rampaging desire that stormed within her. She cradled his head against the curve of her neck, while a feeling of fierce protectiveness swept through her.

  Tears slipped from beneath her closed eyelids as she held him with all the strength she possessed, the awful empty ache of denial burning within her. Her breathing came in ragged gasps as they clung to each other, their sweat-dampened bodies molded fiercely together.

  Opening her eyes, she gazed into Steve's smoldering ones as he softly wiped away the traces of tears with shaking fingers. There was such an anguished impassioned tenderness burning in his eyes that it brought more tears to her own.

  "Oh, Steve..." she murmured brokenly.

  He kissed her, his mouth moving against hers with a lingering gentleness.

  Sighing softly, he captured her face between his hands as he reluctantly raised his head. His voice was low and sensual, and his breath feathered against her lips. "When I'm away from you, I swear to myself that I'm going to make love to you, to possess you...but when I have you in my arms, I can't let myself."

  He slowly stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, his face solemn. "I can't violate your trust in me." She could feel his heart beating wildly against hers, but his touch remained tender and undemanding. "I can't treat this like a casual affair. I need you, Leslie. I want you to be my wife."

  Leslie's eyes were radiant through her glistening tears and her heart burst with a happiness that tore her apart inside. She was moved to such depths that she couldn't speak, but her answer was shining in her eyes. A sob caught in her throat as she felt him tremble beneath her touch when she smoothed her hands up his naked back.

  Once again he whispered her name, wrapping his arms around her and holding her in an embrace that was fierce and possessive. His breathing was still tortured as he struggled to restrain himself.

  She caught his head in her hands, and a soft moan was wrung from her when she recognized the naked curbed hunger that was burning in his eyes. Raising her head, she kissed him, her mouth moist and inviting as she trailed her tongue across his bottom lip.

  His arms crushed her tighter as he responded to the liquid fire that was boiling through her. Holding her immobile in his powerful embrace, he raised his head and took several deep breaths.

  He shuddered against her, his voice so low and tormented that she could barely hear him. "You scare the hell out of me, Leslie. You're like a fragile wisp of magic—and I'm so afraid I'll hurt you." Desperation radiated from him as he murmured, "I want you so badly..."

  Leslie could barely breathe for the hot throbbing ache that was growing within her. "You can't hurt me when you're loving me," she whispered back, her mouth trembling.

  Steve clenched his eyes shut and raggedly sucked in his breath as he fought a battle for control. But his desire sliced through the bonds of restraint when she twisted beneath him, silently pleading with him to quench the fire of passion that was consuming her.

  His hands on her naked body were compelling, intimate, arousing her to such incredible heights. Leslie became oblivious to all else except the sound of their labored breathing and the hot liquid tide of desire that was surging within her.

  His body was filmed with sweat when he finally took her, their bodies fusing together, then moving with a primitive hypnotic rhythm. The tide of their love kept building and building until it was a flood, and as it crested, Leslie was suspended briefly on the verge of magnificent revelation. Then waves of release slammed through her.

  Steve ground his body against her, and a tortured cry was wrung from him as he shuddered violently, his arms tightening around her savagely.

  They clung together for a long time as the flood waters of their stormy consummation ebbed and a drifting state of contented tranquility enveloped them. It was in the aftermath of spent passion that Leslie realized her face was wet.

  Supporting his weight on his elbows, Steve eased away slightly, then took her face in his hands and tenderly wiped away the traces of tears with his thumbs. With a deep satisfied sigh, he lowered his head and kissed her, his mouth soft, pliant and so very gentle.

  He braced his body to roll away, but her arms tightened around him. "Don't go, Steve," she whispered huskily. "It's so beautiful to be able to hold you like this."

  He caressed her face with his fingertips, and there was such warmth in his eyes that it made her heart catch. His breath was warm against her mouth as he murmured. "I'm too heavy for you, little one."

  Her hold on him was firm, unrelenting. "No, you're not. I don't want you to go."

  He sighed softly as he gazed down at her, his eyes filled with love. He reached out and switched off the bedside lamp, then he slipped his arms around her, their naked bodies merging together in the darkness.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  LESLIE AWOKE THE NEXT MORNING still securely cradled in Steve's embrace, his head nestled firmly against her breast. To wake up safe and warm in his arms mesmerized her with a beautiful heady feeling of contentment.

  Last night he had carried her through a scalding passion to a fiery climax that went far beyond her wildest dreams, his love surrounding her, giving her the most secure sense of belonging that she had ever known.

  Steve stirred slightly, and Leslie rested her hand lightly on the back of his head. She didn't want to wake him if she could help it; he so desperately needed to sleep. She glanced at the clock radio and sighed with resignation.

  She hated to leave the warm haven of his arms, but it was time to get up. When Ted was on site, he usually picked her up for breakfast, and she wanted to move Steve's parka and boots before he arrived.

  Ted would have to be told that Steve was back at Redwillow in case a crew was sent out to clear the road and discovered his empty truck. Perhaps she was being ridiculous, but she didn't want him to know that Steve had spent the night with her.

  Ted would take it in his stride, and he would certainly never make any reference to it, but those hours were so special and so intimate that she didn't want anyone else to know about them.

  She closed her eyes and quietly savored the weight of Steve's body against hers for a few more moments, then, reluctantly, she eased away from him.

  "No, don't go," he murmured, pulling her firmly against him and rolling onto his back.

  She smiled as she gazed down at him, marveling again at the long thick lashes that fanned across his cheeks. She smoothed his tousled hair, then tried a second time to ease out of his embrace without disturbing him. But his hold on her was unrelenting.

  His breathing remained even and regular as he continued to hold her. Les couldn't resist the temptation, and she kissed him, her mouth pliant and moist against his parted lips. The pressure of his arms increased as he responded to the tender provocative caress, and his hands began to roam seductively across her hips as he pressed her closer against him. His touch fanned the flame of desire that was rapidly spreading through her whole body.

  She took his face in her hands, his jaw rough from a day's growth of beard, and took a deep unsteady breath as she unwillingly lifted her head. In a husky whisper she said, "Steve, you have to let me go."

  "No, I don't."

  She laughed softly as she gave his head a gentle shake. "Steve McRory, you big fake. I thought you were asleep."

  He slowly opened his eyes, which were soft with slumber, and smiled at her lazily. "I'm not letting you leave this bed."

  Her own eye
s dancing with mischief, she grinned at him. "If you don't want Ted and Frank Logan stomping in here looking for me, you'd better let me go.''

  "I'll fire them both if they set one foot inside this bedroom."

  She laughed, "And wouldn't that create a marvelous scandal!"

  Steve closed his eyes and grinned, then caught her head and nestled it against his shoulder. "I could hold you forever, Les—it feels so good to have you herewith me."

  Leslie was filled with such an overwhelming surge of emotion that she couldn't speak. Tears of happiness blurred her vision as she snuggled closer against him, her hand pressed against his cheek. His arms tightened around her as he sighed softly, then kissed the top of her head.

  Serene contentment enveloped them as they lay wrapped in each other's arms. Several peaceful moments passed before Steve's hold on her relaxed slightly, and Leslie knew he had drifted back to sleep.

  Very carefully she eased out of his arms, his hands trailing across her hips as she moved away. She tucked the quilt around him and dropped a kiss on his temple, then smiled softly as she watched his breathing become deep and regular.

  She gazed at his rugged virile face. How she loved him! And the miracle was that he loved her in return.

  Her features became solemn as she watched him sleep. Would his love survive the shock of finding out the truth about her? She pushed aside the bleak chilling thought and refused to allow herself to consider the answer. Her happiness was based on a moment-to-moment existence, and she would not risk one second of that until she absolutely had to.

  She had trouble concentrating on her work that morning. She was keenly aware that Steve was sleeping in her bed, and her thoughts were persistently invaded by intoxicating recollections of the hours she had spent in his arms. She finally gave up trying to work as a lost cause, and let her mind wander at will until it was time for lunch.

  As soon as she returned to the trailer, she slipped into the bedroom to check on Steve. She found him sprawled across the bed on his stomach, still dead to the world. He had on his jeans, so obviously he had been up while she was gone.

  She had pulled the blanket from under his legs and was bending over to cover him up when his hand shot out. Catching her wrist, he tumbled her onto the bed beside him.

  He opened his eyes and grinned at her as he rolled her beneath him. "Do you know that you have a strong maternal instinct, Miss Kairns?"

  She wound her arms around his neck and grinned at him. "Does that alarm you?"

  "Not at all. We'll just have to have a pack of kids to keep you happy."

  She nuzzled her face against his neck and kissed the pulse that was throbbing in the curve of his shoulder. "There are a few other things you do that make me happy, you know."

  He inhaled abruptly, his chest crushing the soft curves of her breasts. His arms tightened around her almost fiercely, then he laughed softly as he climbed off the bed and pulled her up with him.

  "Don't be a torment, or I'll send you back to Calgary after all." He let one hand rest on her hip as he leaned over and swept his shirt off the chair. When he slipped it on, Leslie brushed his hands aside and started doing up the buttons for him.

  "Would you now?"

  He laughed as he hooked his arms around her waist. "Not on your life. You're here for the duration, whether you like it or not."

  She did up.the last button and let her hands linger on his chest as she smiled up at him, her eyes dancing. "I like it."

  He kissed her soundly, then propelled her firmly out of the bedroom. "I think," he said tightly, "that you'll drive me to distraction."

  She laughed up at him as she hugged him hard. "I'll feed you before I do that." She stretched up and kissed his chin, then slipped out of his arms. "Essie sent over a dinner for you—I put it in the oven to keep warm."

  Steve ran his hand through his hair, then grimaced. "Could it keep for another half hour? I'd like to get cleaned up first. I feel like a derelict."

  As it turned out, that afternoon was theirs alone. The wind howled around the trailer, secluding them inside with blinding blowing snow. No one would venture into the bitter cold unless they absolutely had to, but to discourage unexpected visitors, Steve locked the door when he returned from his own trailer.

  After he finished eating, he carried Leslie back to the bedroom and dumped her in the middle of the bed. He sprawled out beside her and laughed as he gathered her against him. "We're going to make the most of this rotten weather. We may not have another chance to be alone for days."

  Leslie snuggled against him and draped her leg across his. "I think you're trying to tell me in a tactful way that we're going to have to be very discreet, Steve McRory."

  He laughed, then acceded to her comment with a sigh. "We are going to have to be discreet, Les."

  "I know—but it's better than not seeing you at all."

  "Leslie, what's the story on your family? You've never mentioned them since that night we talked in Calgary."

  His question was totally unexpected, and Leslie went suddenly cold. For a fleeting instant she was tempted to tell him about Luther Denver, but she rejected the impulse almost immediately. If he knew that Luther was her stepfather, it would open the door to him discovering her connection with Kaidon Industries. No—she had to keep those facts hidden for as long as she could.

  "What is it, Les? I could feel you tense up as soon as I mentioned it."

  She told him a half truth instead of the whole. "It's a difficult thing for me to discuss, Steve. I moved away from home the same day I quit at Denver, you see. There would have been ugly repercussions at home because of what I had done. If I hadn't left, I would have been told to leave." She closed her eyes against the remembered pain of that day. "I'll never go back. Never."

  "Do you have any relations other than your mother?"

  "No, mother was an only child. There are no living relatives of my grandparents, either. There's no one else except the McAllisters."

  "Have you ever thought about trying to trace your father?"

  "I used to, but I haven't one clue to his identity. Grandfather couldn't tell me, and my mother wouldn't—and there is no one else who would know.''

  "What about Ted?"

  "I asked him right after grandfather died, but he doesn't know anything, either. It was a closely guarded secret, for some reason."

  Steve didn't say anything for a long time as he stroked her back with slow movements. She finally raised her head and looked at him, her eyes painfully serious. "I want to talk to you about it, Steve, but I just can't...not yet."

  He smiled at her with understanding as he trailed his finger down her nose. "I know that, my love." He pressed her head back down to his shoulder and cuddled her closer against him, then continued caressing her back. "I very much want you to come home with me for Christmas and meet my family. I was concerned that there might be someone else you'd rather spend it with, that's all."

  "There's no one on earth I'd rather spend Christmas with than you."

  His laugh was throaty as he hugged her. "You're doing it again. You get that husky little tremor in your voice, and I want to seduce you and say to hell with the consequences."

  She twisted in his arms so that she could see his face, then she smiled at him enticingly. "What's stopping you?"

  The gleam of amusement died in Steve's eyes and was replaced with a look of very sober concern. "Your innocence is stopping me, Les. You never once considered what the outcome could be." He cradled her face tenderly in his hands. "We're playing with fire—and I don't want to expose you to any more risk. When we have a family, I want it to be because we've planned for it, not because I can't control myself."

  A constricting ache developed around her heart when she witnessed the tormented look in his eyes. She laid her fingers across his mouth to silence him. She loved him far too much to allow him to hold himself in self-contempt.

  "I love you, Steve...so much," she whispered brokenly, her eyes dark and solemn. "I coul
d never deny you anything. Never." She took a deep shaky breath in an attempt to control the swell of raw emotion that surged inside her. "You created such a turmoil in me when you—you made love to me last night." She softly caressed his lips with her fingertips. "To know that you care enough about me to protect me—that's such a special feeling, and I love you all the more because of it." Tears were gathering in her eyes, and she tried to blink them away. "We may be playing with fire—but I don't care. I'll take that chance."

  Steve inhaled sharply. Then, his body rigid with constraint, he kissed her very softly. With a deep sigh he cradled her head against his shoulder and began to comb his fingers through her hair. "I love you so much, Leslie—more than I ever imagined I would love anyone.'' He hesitated for a moment, as though searching for adequate words to express his feelings. "You've filled an emptiness in me. You've given my life a whole new dimension." He laid his cheek on top of her head as he buried his hand in her hair. "Because of how I feel about you, you arouse a passion in me that I didn't know I was capable of."

  He tilted her head back and looked at her, his gaze so serious, yet so tender that it brought new tears to Leslie's eyes. "Your virginity...well, you don't know how honored I felt last night. I value your love, I value your trust. I value every single thing about you."

  Leslie was so touched, so overwhelmed by his words that she couldn't respond. With tempered ardor he kissed away the tears that spilled from her eyes, then nestled her against him in a protective possessive embrace.