Valentine

by Rebecca Farnworth

  'So you were her bit of rough trade,' Kitty put in. 'How did she seduce you, then?' There was a pause then Jack gave a wicked grin. 'She gave me a blow job backstage in the men's loos. I got the impression that she'd done it before to other members of the cast.'

  'Or to other casts' members!' Valentine put in as she, Kitty and Zara laughed raucously, seeing the expressions of total envy on the other men's faces.

  'And then she invited me round to her house the following morning, on the pretext that she needed some gardening doing. I didn't do any gardening, needless to say.'

  'Just Mrs Robinson,' Valentine said dryly. 'Well, good for her; I expect she got the best of you. They always say a man's reached his sexual peak at eighteen, whereas a woman is a constant voyage of discovery.'

  Jack moved closer to her and said quietly, 'Horrible mixing of metaphors there, Fleming, and you're so wrong; I'm in my prime. So there, sexy lips.' He gave her a challenging, come-and-test-out-my-theory-if-you-want look.

  Valentine found herself holding his stare and thinking that, yes, that was a very tempting prospect.

  'Oh, Jack darling, are you telling that story? Isn't it an absolute peach!' They had all been so engrossed in Jack's deflowering that they hadn't noticed the arrival of a very attractive forty-something woman. Valentine recognised her as the actress Julia Turner. She looked as if she'd just come from some event and was glammed up in a midnight-blue sleeveless dress, with killer black patent heels. She was beautiful, with pale skin, deep blue eyes, full lips and long silky black hair. 'I hope you don't mind me dropping in on you all like this, but I was in the area. Can I get anyone a drink?' she said in her trademark husky voice. She had cornered the market in lucrative sultry voiceovers for years. No one did husky quite like Julia Turner: This is not just ordinary husky, this is Julia Turner husky, kind of thing. She stroked Jack's arm possessively as she spoke, then Valentine heard her whisper, 'Why haven't you returned my texts?'

  Jack muttered something about being busy. Valentine had been so intent on staring at Julia that she hadn't registered Jack, but now she glanced at him and saw that he looked furious. They were probably in the middle of some lovers' tiff. If she was honest she felt a little put out by Julia's arrival; she had been enjoying Jack's company and his flirty comments. And hadn't he said that he didn't have a girlfriend? She was sure that she wasn't jealous of Julia. It was just that Julia was an outsider and had broken up the lovely feeling of intimacy that the others had been building up. That was it, wasn't it? Jack pulled himself together sufficiently to make the introductions, ending up with Valentine. 'Valentine, this is Julia, Julia, Valentine.'

  'Valentine? Isn't that a boy's name?' Julia said, looking Valentine up and down.

  'It is,' Valentine admitted, wondering why Julia was giving her the once over. Surely she didn't see her as any kind of competition? There was Julia looking like a glamorous screen siren and there was Valentine practically looking like a crusty in clothes which were covered in dust from one of Vince's role plays where he'd had the cast charge around as wild animals, as he said the energy in the theatre was sluggish. She had no make-up on apart from mascara, so her face was no doubt as shiny as the moon, and her hair had gone completely unruly.

  'Didn't you go to LAMDA?' Julia asked. 'You must have been there at the same time as a really good friend of mine, Eva Francis.'

  Valentine nodded noncommittally. 'I didn't know her because she was two years above me.'

  'I expect you knew her boyfriend, Finn Steele.'

  Shit, if Julia was a friend of Eva's she was bound to know all about Valentine's affair with Finn.

  'Yes, I knew him,' Valentine tried to say as evenly as possible, but she was aware of her heart racing. Julia was not exactly looking at her with the milk of human kindness.

  'I know you did,' Julia said, her voice dangerously quiet.

  Valentine suddenly wanted to be anywhere but the Orange Peril. She did not want Julia Turner picking over her life, judging her. She looked appealingly at Toby, hoping he would change the subject. Mercifully he was quick to react, and asked Julia what she was working on at the moment.

  'Oh I'm in Street Car, at the Donmar; we start rehearsals next month.'

  'Blanche Dubois, I presume?' Toby continued, as Julia nodded while Kitty and Valentine shared looks of complete jealousy at Julia landing such a fantastic role.

  'I'd fucking love a part like that!' Kitty exclaimed while Julia went to the bar with Jack to buy a round. Julia's presence seemed to have unsettled all of them; even the charming Toby seemed rattled. It was as if her glamour and success were throwing a spotlight on them, showing up the fact that they were only in a small off-West End production while she was appearing in a cutting-edge West End theatre.

  'I didn't know Jack was seeing Julia Turner,' Valentine said, wondering why he had lied and said he didn't have a girlfriend when Julia seemed to think that she occupied that role.

  'Well,' Toby looked behind him to check the couple weren't in earshot, 'they were together but I think Jack broke up with her about three months ago.' Just as he finished speaking Julia and Jack returned with drinks.

  'Cheers, everyone!' Julia declared, holding up her drink. 'Good luck with your play.'

  'And good luck with yours,' Toby replied graciously. Now Julia was with them, much of the pleasure in the evening had gone for Valentine. She was unsettled by Julia's comments about Finn, and dreaded her bringing up the subject again. However, Julia seemed more intent on monopolising Jack. As Valentine chatted to Toby she kept hearing snatches of Jack's conversation with Julia – they seemed to be talking about Julia's daughter, Ruby.

  'So where's Ruby tonight?' Jack asked.

  'Oh she's at a sleepover,' Julia replied airily, then lowered her voice still further, but Valentine heard her say huskily, 'Why don't you come back?'

  'No, Julia,' Jack replied, sounding exasperated. 'Please don't ask.'

  'Please don't make me then,' Julia said emotionally, then lowered her voice still further so Valentine couldn't hear. She suddenly wanted to go home; she needed to clear her head. She quickly drained her drink, then stood up.

  'Well, I'm off. See you all tomorrow.' She went round the table kissing everyone good night but simply blew Jack a kiss. Did he look disappointed that she was leaving? She couldn't tell. She was in a bad mood all the way home. Damn Julia Turner and her long silky hair; damn her for getting such a great role. And from out of nowhere she thought damn her for being with Jack. Now where did that come from?

  'You obviously fancy him,' Lauren told her when she arrived back home, still seething. 'That's why you've got the hump.'

  'He's got a hairy chest!' Valentine exclaimed.

  Lauren frowned. 'What's your problem? I like them – they're very retro. Sexy. All that back, crack and sack waxing makes me nauseous. It looks too much like plucked chicken skin for my liking.'

  'That's rich coming from you, Miss Brazil. Is there a hair left on your fanny by gaslight? And anyway, it's not about his chest. There's obviously unfinished business between him and Julia I'm-so-gorgeous-husky-voice Turner.'

  Valentine was surprised how angry she felt. She and Jack had got into the habit of phoning each other late at night. When midnight came and went without a call from him she felt angrier still. He was probably shagging Julia Bloody Turner right now. Valentine imagined Julia sitting astride him, her lithe, slender body moving rhythmically, while Jack had his hands clasped round her waist (her bloody tiny I-can-fit-into-children's-jeans waist), his dark-brown eyes darker still with lust, she caressing his hairy muscular chest, as he groaned with pleasure at every movement of Julia's supple body and . . . WHAT was she doing thinking about the pair of them in bed? She was still angry the next day when she got up and went for her run. The anger and nipple-tassels fear combined to make her run faster and further than ever. But it did nothing to improve her mood. She stomped into the theatre determined to ignore Jack, but he sought her out and handed her a skinny latte.<
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  'Thanks,' she muttered; she didn't feel like being gracious.

  'I'm sorry about Julia bringing up the subject of your ex last night. She can be blindingly insensitive.'

  'I'm sure she's told you that I had an affair with him,' Valentine said defiantly, though she felt anything but. 'I expect you're going to judge me for it.'

  He sighed and ran his fingers through his thick dark-brown hair. He had black circles under his eyes and looked knackered. 'I wouldn't do that.'

  But that wasn't enough for Valentine and she continued nastily, 'Kept you up last night did she, your girlfriend?'

  'I told you, I don't have a girlfriend.'

  'Yeah right.' Valentine felt as spiky as a sea urchin.

  'I don't.'

  'Oh, I get it. You don't call her your girlfriend, you just see her every now and then for sex. Ha! So fucking predictable.' Valentine was aware that her anger at Jack was out of proportion. Maybe he was just like Finn – why had she allowed herself to get even slightly close to him? At least with Finn she knew where she stood, knew what to expect.

  'You're wrong; I don't treat women like that.'

  'Oh really? Well, whatever you say doesn't matter; I've learnt not to trust any man.' Now she was sounding like the blurb on the back of a chick-lit novel – Valentine Fleming can't trust any man, but will Jack Hart break down her defences? She was being ridiculous, but she couldn't help it. Any minute now she'd flick back her hair and stamp her foot.

  'He really messed you up, didn't he?' He didn't wait for her answer but moved closer to her, so close she got a hit of his musky, delicious aftershave. 'Well Valentine, I'm not like that.' A beat. 'And I would never have let you go.'

  Valentine was saved from having to reply by Vince calling a start to the rehearsal.

  But much as she lost herself in her role, every time there was a break she'd think of Jack and his words. She treasured them as if she was holding up a diamond necklace and watching the jewels sparkle. He must like her to have said something like that. It's just lust, she told herself sternly, nothing more. Maybe she should have a no-strings shag with him? Just one, to get him out of her system. They could have sex all night, in a variety of positions; do everything to each other – well not quite everything; there were some things Valentine drew the line at. Then she snapped out of it. She was not a one-night-stand sort of girl. She knew herself too well and if she slept with him, she'd end up obsessing over him for the next six months, convinced she was in love with him – no way was she going down that route. It was a one-way street to Loserville, a place she'd visited too many times in the past. But not this time.

  6

  Family Values

  Valentine had hardly spoken to her mum since the Piers revelation and she could only partly blame the hectic rehearsal schedule for that. The truth was that she did feel confused and shaken up by the news. Her mum had left several messages and Valentine felt slightly guilty for not returning them. Since Chris had died she had got in the habit of phoning her mum every other day and going to see her once a fortnight. When rehearsals finished unexpectedly early that day she took the opportunity to go and see her mum in East Sheen.

  Sarah still lived in the terraced Edwardian house that she and Chris had bought when three-bedroomed houses in nice areas were affordable to people who worked in nursing. Every time Valentine went round she still half-expected to see Chris working on his mountain bike in the back garden, smoking the inevitable roll-up and drinking endless cups of tea, bantering with Sarah. They'd had such a good relationship, still in love after twenty years, still the best of friends. His death had left such a hole in all their lives. Matt, her brother, or rather her half-brother as she supposed she now had to think of him, had gone completely off the rails for a time, taking shedloads of drugs and dropping out of college, driving Sarah nearly out of her mind with worry. He was OK now, thank goodness and was back in college and off the drugs. Valentine rang the bell and Matt opened the door to her. He gave a mock bow and said, 'Welcome, my lady! To what do we owe the pleasure?' They were always teasing each other. Matt took the piss out of her for being an actress, and in his view pretentious; she took the piss out of him for being her annoying younger brother.

  'I suppose Mum's told you the big news,' she replied, walking into the house.

  'I always suspected there was something different about you, V,' he replied. 'It explains all your delusions of grandeur.'

  She punched him affectionately on the arm and followed him into the kitchen. Matt's jeans were so low-slung it was frankly a mystery to Valentine why he was bothering to wear any at all – practically the whole of his boxers were on display. She instantly reverted to older sister mode. 'Pull your trousers up, Matt! No one wants to see your arse.'

  'Actually, several people do,' he replied, giving her the finger.

  Lottie and Sarah were sitting at the kitchen table, an open bottle of red wine between them. Clearly they had made up. Valentine kissed both of them and sat down. Lottie immediately poured her a large glass.

  'Sorry about your birthday, V, I didn't mean to drop that bombshell on you and your mum like that,' Lottie said. 'I got a bit carried away; you know me.'

  'It's OK Lottie,' Valentine replied. 'I think it had to happen sometime.' She looked at her mum, trying to gauge her feelings. She hated to think of Sarah worrying about her.

  Sarah sighed. 'It was a bit of a clusterfuck though, wasn't it?'

  Valentine and Matt rolled their eyes. Sarah grinned sheepishly.

  'Sorry, when I was round at yours the other week I heard Lauren say it and I've been dying to use it ever since.' Lauren had a lot to answer for. Sarah rarely used to swear until she met her.

  'It was, it is, Mum,' Valentine replied. 'I thought I should let you know that I wrote to Piers.'

  The smile went from Sarah's face and she was back to looking anxious. 'And have you heard anything?'

  Valentine shook her head.

  'Try not to think about it,' Sarah urged her. 'Maybe he's away filming.' She used the exact same excuse that Valentine had to herself.

  'Maybe he just doesn't want to know, Mum,' Valentine replied, and to hide how hurt she felt, took a large sip of wine.

  'Oh Christ! Why didn't I keep my big fat mouth shut!' Lottie said with feeling. 'I'm sorry you two, I thought I was doing the right thing and now I've exposed you both to a world of pain. Can you ever forgive me?'

  'She's off on one,' Matt said dryly, reaching into the fridge for the orange juice and drinking it straight from the carton.

  'Matt!' the three women chorused.

  He shrugged. 'I'm going to leave you three ladies to it; I'm seeing Daisy.' He paused and looked momentarily serious. 'V, don't stress about Piers. Chris was your dad and he loved us just the same; nothing's changed. You're still my sister and I love you.' Wow, emotional engagement from her brother; that was unexpected. She actually felt tears prickle her eyes. Matt snapped out of it. 'And don't drink all the wine, V, no one wants to see a bloated lush of an actress.'

  'No one wants to see the crack of your hairy bum,' she shouted after him.

  'It's not hairy anymore, Daisy waxed it,' he shot back.

  'That was an over-share!' Valentine exclaimed as Matt slammed the door.

  'He could wax his entire body so long as he isn't taking drugs anymore,' Sarah replied. She reached out and put her hand over Valentine's. 'We're OK V, aren't we?'

  Valentine nodded. She couldn't bear to think of her mum agonising over whether she had made the right decision all those years ago.

  Back home there was still neither letter nor email from Piers. He clearly wasn't interested in having a long-lost daughter. Valentine tried not to let it get to her. Lauren was in the living room cursing for England as she attempted unsuccessfully to light the fire, fag hanging out of her mouth, a super-sized glass of red wine next to her.

  'Fuck, shit, piss, wank! Have you read this bollocky, sycophantic interview with Tamara Fucking Moore? All the cr
ap about luminous skin this, wildly talented that, stylish, beautiful and wait for it – intelligent! Instead of what she's really like – a talentless, mean-natured, fat-arsed, botoxed stupid cow!' She picked up the magazine and hurled it across the room in disgust. 'Just once I want to read an honest interview with an actress, just once! Why do these magazines all conspire to make out that all successful actresses are perfect?'

  Valentine shrugged. 'Because otherwise the actress would never do an interview with them again,' she suggested. 'Any wine left?' She definitely needed a drink after seeing her mum.

  Lauren poured her a large glass, then retrieved the magazine and began colouring black spots on to Tamara's perfectly airbrushed skin, like a woman possessed. It was a little scary to watch, but then Tamara aroused strong feelings in both of them. 'Would it make you feel better to do the role play?' Valentine asked, realising that she was never going to be able to have a sensible conversation until Lauren had calmed down.

  Lauren made Tamara's eyebrows meet in the middle and blackened out one of her teeth. 'Yes,' she said emphatically. 'You be the actress, I'll be the journalist.' The role play was something they did every now and then when they wanted to get certain issues about the acting world out of their system. Lauren always said it was cathartic, while Valentine wondered if it actually wound them up further. None the less she got into character as an internationally renowned movie star promoting her latest film. She sat up straighter and tucked her legs under her, and adopted a coy, dreamy expression, while Lauren spoke. 'When you – Valentine Fleming – agreed to do this interview, I was so thrilled. I mean, you are one of the leading, or rather the leading young actress of the day. Not only are you beautiful and talented, you also have the most amazing social conscience. Valentine, how many children have you adopted so far?'