Resist Me (Change Me Book One - standalone): McCoy Raven Boys

by A. O. Peart

  She nodded and peeked inside. I was glad the bathroom was clean. Colton knew better than leave a mess in my cabin. If he did, I wouldn’t let him come here with his girlfriend again. I liked the whole place neat and orderly—it must’ve been the military training that instilled that in me.

  “We’re gonna share it. Sorry, there is only one bathroom upstairs, but you’re welcome to use one on the first floor,” I explained.

  “I’m sure we’ll manage.”

  No fuss, no arguments—I liked that. I actually liked that a lot. Easygoing women were rare. Although, she wasn’t here for any other purpose than to hide and be safe. I kept reminding myself that. Damn, that was going to be hard, especially because I enjoyed her company more and more, despite trying hard to stay indifferent to her.

  I showed her the linen closet with clean towels and sheets. We went to see both bedrooms, and she smiled wide when we entered the one it was hers. It was a good size room, with a large window that let in a lot of morning sun. Like all the other rooms in the cabin, this one had an awesome view of the Lake.

  Lisbeth walked up to the window and stood, mesmerized. “It’s so beautiful,” she whispered.

  I stood next to her, more interested in watching her than the water and the boats. “It is.” I nodded, thinking really of her and not of the Lake. “Okay, you must be hungry.” I needed a distraction.

  “Show me your bedroom,” she said.

  “Sure. It has the same view as this one.”

  I let her enter first, walking in behind her. I painted the walls of this room in soft beige and kept the bedding colors in dark-brown with lighter-brown accents. There were no knickknacks anywhere in here, but I had a large, framed photo of my whole family with three generations of the McCoys. My parents kept complaining about the lack of grandkids, since none of their sons was eager to get hitched and start their own family. All my cousins were quite young too and still single. We were all in our twenties; a couple were in college and the rest of us worked.

  Lisbeth walked past my bed, running her hand over the dark wood of the footboard. It was a solid, large bed that used to belong to one of my grandmothers—just like that wood burning stove in the kitchen. I loved old stuff, especially if it came from the family.

  She glanced at me and then quickly away. But that quick glimpse was enough to send a heat wave through me. That bed of mine has never looked as inviting.

  “Let’s go to the kitchen.” I walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs. I hoped she would follow, because if I had to enter that room again and see her hand caressing the bed, I would lose it. I would throw her down onto the covers and fuck her senseless, no matter the consequences.

  “We need to bring some food from the garage,” I told her when she joined me downstairs.

  “Sure.”

  Lisbeth helped me carry our groceries into the kitchen. She put some of it into the fridge and some on the shelves of my tiny pantry. There wasn’t much in there, since I only visited the cabin from time to time. But it was enough for me—a few basics, including enough of a non-perishable food for a few weeks, if necessary.

  “What should we make for dinner?” Lisbeth asked, putting her hands on her hips. “Besides the s’mores.”

  “So the s’mores ain’t enough?” I joked, keeping straight face.

  “If we make enough of them, then sure.”

  “I have a better idea,” I said. “Burgers.” I pointed to the ground beef in the fridge. “Get the meat, and I’ll start the grill.”

  Ten minutes later, Lisbeth and I stood outside by my Webber grill. It wasn’t huge, but it served its purpose just fine. For the bigger family gatherings, I would bring two more grills from the other cabins. With the three of those grilling beauties, we were always able to cook anything we wanted to.

  I lifted the lid and sprayed a cooking spray on the grates. Lisbeth already formed the burger patties and put four of them on the hot surface. She was quiet, and I wondered what went through her mind. She seemed relaxed though, so I decided not to pry. Her head shot up when she heard a motor boat somewhere on the Lake. I looked up in that direction too.

  “What if they come?” she asked quietly, watching the boat. Her eyes pinched with concern.

  I couldn’t deny the possibility. But I also didn’t want to freak her out by explaining about the pistol and the loads of ammo Colton put in my truck earlier today. That was better kept secret, unless the hell broke loose, and I had to kick some ass.

  “We weren’t followed. They, most likely, have no idea that the girl who went with the FBI wasn’t you,” I answered calmly. “So the chances are slim they would come here.”

  “But if they do?” She looked at me.

  I locked my eyes with hers and said slowly, “If they do, we’ll give them a proper welcome.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m prepared. Now try to relax.”

  “I want to know what to expect. What do I do if they come? I have no idea how to defend myself.”

  I flipped one of the burgers. The edges looked brown, and I didn’t want the patties get too dry. Burgers were the best when cooked but still really juicy. I flipped the next burger.

  “Ethan. How can I relax when I don’t know what may happen?” she pleaded.

  The third burger got overturned, and I pried the metal spatula under the fourth one. “I don’t know for sure what will happen either. But remember—Chris said everything so far is going according to the plan. We have a good shot at fooling everyone.”

  She went silent. I wasn’t good with words, so what I already said to her had to do.

  She sighed and asked in resigned voice, “I’ll get the buns. Do we have ketchup?”

  I was glad she changed the subject.

  “In the fridge. There is a small jar of relish too. Bring it as well.”

  Lisbeth walked toward the house. I looked at her. She wasn’t a big woman, but she still was deliciously curvy. Her wavy, dark hair was now twisted into a very messy bun on top of her head, so the back of her neck was exposed. It was lean and smooth, with a few little hairs curling down and onto her back. She had slim shoulders and a thin waist. My eyes travelled down to her butt. Her hips were wide and her buttocks were round, like those of a woman who spends many hours each week working them out.

  No, I wasn’t stupidly drooling over her. I never had to stupidly drool over any woman. They drooled over me and then they always came to me as soon as I let them. But with Lisbeth things were different. I had to keep my distance and not let her know how much I wanted her. Yes, I did want her. There was no denying it. Nevertheless, I appreciated her nice body, just as an art connoisseur would appreciate a beautiful painting. Lisbeth was worth looking at. And that’s exactly as far as I would let myself go—looking and appreciating.

  She returned a moment later with a bag of hamburger buns in one hand and a bottle of ketchup in the other. The jar of relish and the bag of sliced cheese were tucked under her arms. I helped her put everything on the long, wooden table I made with Jack last fall. It was sturdy and heavy, just like the two benches positioned on each long side of it.

  “I like this set,” Lisbeth commented, nodding toward the table. “Goes perfectly with the cabin and everything around.”

  I smiled.

  “Did someone make it?”

  “Jack and I had some free time last year, so we put it to a good use.”

  “Wow, you made it? It’s… amazing. You must be really skilled with your hands!” she exclaimed.

  You have no idea. I grinned inwardly, wondering if she would ever find out about how good those hands can make her feel. And my mouth. And my cock. Damn, I had to stop that! She was driving me insane.

  “What do you want to drink?” I asked her instead. “Water, soda, wine? I have beer too.”

  “Uhm, I’ll just stick with water tonight.” Lisbeth bit her lower lip. I wished she wouldn’t do that.

  “That fridge in the kitchen has filtered water d
ispenser. And the ice dispenser too. Help yourself.”

  “What should I get you?”

  I looked up from arranging the cheese and condiments with hamburger patties on the buns. “Beer, if there is any in the fridge. Let’s hope Colton had some decency of replenishing my stash.”

  She smiled and left. A moment later she returned with a large glass of water and a bottle of Belgian Amber.

  “That’s what you found in the fridge?” I asked incredulously, pointing to the beer bottle.

  Lisbeth nodded, looking at me and then back at the beer in her hand. “Something wrong?”

  “This is a crap of a beer. Let me see.” I went past her and inside the cabin. I rummaged in the fridge, but the only kind of beer I found in there was what she already brought me. I opened the pantry, but there was none inside. “I’m gonna kill him,” I muttered under my breath.

  “Who?” Lisbeth followed me and now stood in the kitchen, unsure of what to do.

  “Colton. That kid has no decent taste when it comes to the adult beverages. He loves this piss-of-a-beer and thinks everyone else should too.”

  “Is there a store anywhere close by?” she asked. It was charming how concerned she sounded over this.

  “A few in Lincoln City. Not far at all. But don’t worry about it. I will humor myself and drink that shit. It’s okay.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Positive.” I wasn’t used to women fuss over me. But I decided I liked it when Lisbeth did.

  She stood, chewing on her lip again. And once more I averted my eyes. Because I couldn’t stand to watch her mouth like this and not devour it with mine. This was going to be a long few days.

  We ate outside, sitting together on the bench that faced the water. Only two boats and one kayak were left on the Lake. The sun started its slow decent, even though it wasn’t late just yet. Lisbeth ate only half of one hamburger and insisted she wasn’t hungry anymore. I brought a bag of chips from the pantry, but she didn’t have any either.

  I had two burgers, a lot of chips, and three beers already, and I could still eat more. But I decided not to give her an impression that I was a pig who couldn’t stop himself. When have I started to feel conscientious around a woman?

  We sat in silence, watching serenity of the water, each of us deep in own thoughts. A breeze from the Lake stirred the warm air. It felt good and refreshing.

  “I’m tired, but I would like to take a rain check on those s’mores,” Lisbeth said quietly. “Do you mind if I go and lay down?”

  “Not at all. You know where your bedroom is.”

  She nodded. “It’s so pleasant here. I will keep the window open, if that’s okay.”

  “It sure is. Just close it before it gets dark.”

  Her smile disappeared. Keeping the windows closed and all doors locked was a necessary precaution, but to ease down her worries, I said, “I just noticed that the screen in your window has a tear, and you want to keep the mosquitoes out. I will patch it up tomorrow.”

  “Ah, of course.” Lisbeth laughed nervously, but she sounded relieved. “Makes sense.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  LISBETH

  My eyes started to close, and my whole body felt unusually heavy. I needed to lie down and rest right away. I normally never felt tired so suddenly. But the stress got the better of me. I was a nervous wreck, no matter how well I tried to conceal it.

  I didn’t want Ethan to think I was so freaked out all the time that I would possibly become a huge problem for him. Important thing was to get myself together and keep it together. This was my resolution, and I had to stick with it. Besides, keeping my head clear would be helpful in case the gang found us.

  That thought alone scared me to death. I took three long, cleansing breaths, doing it slowly so Ethan wouldn’t notice. He sat next to me, staring at the Lake. It was a beautiful scene, with the sun moving lower toward the horizon. With the corner of my eye I saw him stretch his arms above his head. I turned to watch. His chest expanded, the shirt stretching tautly over hard slabs of muscle.

  The short sleeve of his t-shirt rose up over his bulging bicep. A tiny piece of a tattoo peeked from under the fabric. It must have been on his shoulder and not much past it; maybe over his back too? I wanted so badly to see it, but my eyes felt too heavy and my mouth didn’t want to form any words. So I only told him that I need to lie down and asked if it was okay with him if I went upstairs to my bedroom.

  A few moments after I sat on the bed, there was a knock on the door. I turned my head and said, “Come in.”

  Ethan brought my backpack from downstairs. “You might need this. And here’s a new bottle of shampoo, a conditioner, and some soap. Let me know if you need anything else. I don’t have much in here, but I can always scramble a thing or two.”

  “I think I’m fine. Thank you.” I smiled weakly at him.

  Right before he closed the door behind him, I called out, “Ethan!”

  He stuck his head back in, raising his eye brows in a silent question.

  “Thank you for everything,” I said, blushing.

  “Don’t mention it.” There was a tiny smile playing on his lips.

  God, he was gorgeous—so masculine and confident. Even though I’ve never cared for such an imposing type of a man, the truth was… Ethan was irresistible. I had no idea how and when I had possibly gone from fuming at his arrogance to this—melting at the sight of him. Maybe I was just too exhausted to think straight.

  I reached for my backpack and dug inside, pulling a clean tank top and a pair of underwear. My pajamas, the only pair I owned, were gone. Destroyed with a several pieces of clothing I left by the washing machine in the warehouse.

  I swapped my boots for a pair of simple, rubber flip-flops and, carrying the shampoo, conditioner, and the soap, together with the change of clothes, I marched to the bathroom. It was located past Ethan’s bedroom, but I knew he was still outside, watching the Lake. I saw his from my window before I left for the bathroom. That made me feel more comfortable.

  I locked the door behind me, undressed, feeling weird as if someone was watching me. It was strange, taking a shower and sleeping in Ethan’s cabin. Regardless of everything else, I barely knew him.

  A large, oval mirror over the sink mercilessly showed my reflection. I have lost a lot of weight lately. My ribs were more defined under my skin, and the softness from the front of my hips was gone. It got replaced with the sharp edges of the hip bones.

  I didn’t like what I saw, especially the dark circles under my eyes, messy hair, and sunken cheeks. The light from my eyes was gone, and my face looked so much older than I remembered it.

  I turned the shower on, and waited for the water to get warmer. It didn’t take long, and I was rewarded with a soothing feel and the gentle sound of the running water.

  I sighed and let myself enjoy that sensation. My eyes closed, and I felt as light as a feather. The water caressed my shoulders and my back. I wanted to stay like this for a long time, but the fatigue was getting stronger, and it was becoming harder to ignore it.

  The shampoo smelled like pine needles. I liked it a lot. It made my hair feel soft and it rinsed off easily. Next, a bit of the conditioner went onto the ends of my hair. I generously lathered myself with the soap and scrubbed every inch of my skin, removing the grime of this tragic day.

  It was time to get off the shower and return to my bedroom. I rinsed myself off, turned off the water, and reached for a white, fluffy towel waiting for me by the sink. Ethan must have left it there on his way downstairs. That was quite thoughtful of him, even though he told me where the linen closet was. Still, I would probably forget to bring a towel and now I would stand here, dripping wet.

  I left the shampoo and other things in the shower for Ethan. Or for the next time I returned to get cleaned up. I realized I forgot to get my hairbrush from my backpack. My hair was tangled as I dried it with the towel, and I tried to use my fingers to separate the knots, but to no avail. I g
ave up and, instead looked around.

  Not many items were in this bathroom, with the exception of the washcloths in a round metal basket on the counter and two clean hand towels hanging from the towel rings on the wall. A small blue rug lied on the floor, its color matching closely the shower curtain. There was a round bar of soap in an antique-looking holder standing between two sinks. I carefully picked it up to examine it closer. It was shaped like one of those birdbaths that could be often spotted in some nice gardens.

  I put it back down and pulled my tank top and underwear on. Walking back to my bedroom in skimpy clothes was out of the question. But I eyed Chris’s garments that now lied in a heap on the floor. I kneeled down and sniffed the pants. They smelled of smoke. My bath towel seemed like a much better option, even though it was quite damp. I wrapped it around myself, scooped the dirty clothing and my boots off the floor, and opened the bathroom door.

  Peeking outside, I prayed Ethan wasn’t anywhere close. The last thing I wanted was for him to see me barely dressed. The hallway was quiet. I stood in the door, waiting for any sound that would testify to his presence. Nothing. I waited some more. Finally, I felt too tired to stay there any longer. I patted back to my bedroom. As soon as I was about to open my door, I heard soft steps on the stairs. Quickly, without making any noise I slid inside and closed the door behind me.

  “That was close,” I whispered to myself.

  The bed looked so inviting. I dropped everything on the floor and found the hairbrush in my backpack. I closed the window, remembering what Ethan said about the mosquitos, sat on the bed, and ran the brush through my tangled hair. Finally, I gave up on fighting with those stubborn curls and slid under the covers. Sleep came quickly, like a thief in the night.

  Sometime later, I woke up, startled. I couldn’t place this room. I didn’t know where I was. My heart pounded in my chest, and I had a difficult time getting enough oxygen into my lungs. It was a panic attack. I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to slow down my frantic breathing. “I am not having a panic attack. It was just a bad dream,” I kept repeating loudly.