Resist Me (Change Me Book One - standalone): McCoy Raven Boys

by A. O. Peart

  “And I thought this was going to be something symbolic,” I said with a smile.

  “Ah, like a tribal or a mythology-influenced story?”

  “Yes, something like that.” I nodded.

  “Are you disappointed?” he was totally making fun of me.

  “Should I be?” I fired back.

  “Okay, there is a bit of a symbolism behind my tattoo. I chose this design because it reminded me of my crazy family.” Ethan pointed to the raven. “All these birds are like the members of the McCoy clan, and the big mama bird represents Grandma Ruth.”

  “So she’s like the head of your… clan?”

  He laughed. “She definitely acts like she is. But she’s really cool, and we all love her to death. And yeah, we say ‘the clan’ because we’re so close, it’s ridiculous sometimes. We always seem to hang out together.”

  I looked at the window and took a small sip of the coffee. The Lake shimmered in the morning sun. It seemed to be a busy day. A few jet skis and motor boats were out, making a lot of ruckus. When Ethan said we were going to hide in his small cabin, I imagined it was a completely secluded place in the middle of nowhere, with no houses and definitely no tourists around. How was this supposed to be a hideout? I guessed, it was probably the best idea ever, because who would have thought to look in such a popular place?

  We sat for a while in silence, drinking our hot coffee. I turned my face to Ethan and caught him watching me from under half-closed lids. Immediately, my stomach twisted into a tight knot, and my heart did a weird summersault. What was happening? How was he able to make me melt inside with just one glance?

  I held his gaze, although he was deep in thought, maybe not even realizing that, in fact, his eyes were on me. He reclined in his chair, lazily draping one arm over the armrest. His other hand was lifted to his face, a long, slim finger slowly teasing the corner of his mouth.

  Oh, dear Lord! He looked so amazingly gorgeous and sexy and hot and… I just wanted to… okay, my mind was playing stupid tricks on me. This was insane and immature of me. I should’ve only felt grateful for him, because he was putting his head on a chopping block for a girl he didn’t even know. But instead, I allowed myself to fantasize about those parted lips and that finger gently playing on them. What the hell?

  I stood up. “Excuse me,” I choked out and left the kitchen in a hurry.

  His head shot up as if he woke up from a daydream. I needed some air to clear my mind, so I went outside. The air was warm and pleasant. A gentle wind teased the water, ruffling the surface. The boats and jet skis were much further now, their engines’ noise fading away.

  I walked to the small deck in front of the cabin and all the way to its end. Crossing my arms over my chest, I stood and squeezed my eyes shut, letting the breeze caress my face. It was like a lover’s gentle touch—something I haven’t felt in months; something, I started to realize, I missed so much.

  A long, deep breath calmed me down. I looked ahead, to the other side of the Lake. There were quite a few cabins or houses or maybe both. I suspected that some of these buildings were year-round residences, since those looked quite spacious.

  I glanced to my left and right, but Ethan’s cabin wasn’t near any other buildings on this side of the Lake. It was, in fact, isolated. I made a mental note to ask him how it was even possible that he didn’t have any immediate neighbors.

  Heavy steps echoed behind me on the wood of the deck. Ethan came to my side and handed me my mug of coffee. It was refilled and steamy with some milk added to it.

  “Here. I understand you might’ve wanted to abandon my boring company, but why to leave such a perfect cup of coffee behind?”

  I couldn’t help but smile at that. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” he said quietly, in a velvety-soft, low voice.

  I didn’t dare to look at him. There was something impossibly irresistible about this man. I couldn’t trust myself to remain detached, and that was a really bad thing. My situation called for me to stay alert and uncommitted to any human being. If I only had any other option, I wouldn’t have accepted Ethan’s offer to hide here. This, from the very beginning, was a dubious kind of an idea. He was too tantalizing, and I was too vulnerable.

  There was more silence between us. We sat together, watching the beautiful scenery ahead. He didn’t look at me again the way he did inside the cabin. I probably just imagined the whole thing. Why was I coming back to that moment? Why did I overanalyze it and long for what was forbidden? Ethan was forbidden. That was the right way—the safe way for me.

  His cell phone rang, pulling me out of my thoughts. He answered it curtly, “Yeah?”

  I could hear a male’s voice on the other side, but couldn’t understand the words.

  “Not much. We’re just having coffee on the deck,” Ethan said to the phone. “Will do, bro. Thanks.” He hung up and put the phone back into his shorts pocket.

  “My brother,” he explained and added, “Colton. Just checking on us.”

  “That’s nice of him,” I commented.

  “Yeah. I told him to keep his mouth shut, or we would have the whole family barging over here to help.” He shook his head. “We need to lay low and not attract any unnecessary attention.”

  “Makes sense.” I frowned. “I was just wondering… see there,” I pointed to the other side of the Lake, “all the homes are close together, but right around here, there aren’t any residences close to your cabin. How is that possible?”

  “I own a large chunk of the waterfront here. If I wanted to parcel it and sell it off, there could be at least two more houses and no privacy.”

  I gulped. That was a lot of land and for sure worth a fortune, since it sat right on the beach.

  Ethan must have read my mind, because he chuckled and said, “The family helped. My parents are well off, and although I didn’t want to accept any money from them, they convinced me to do just that. I agreed only after I persuaded them to put their names on the deed to actually co-own the property with me.”

  “That was generous of them,” I commented.

  “Yes, but it’s also an investment for them, so I’m okay with that. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise. They know I’m stubborn and won’t take handouts.”

  Ethan’s cell phone chimed again. He pulled it out and looked at the screen. “Text from Jack,” he announced. “Another one checking on us,” he added, typing a response. “If they all knew what’s going on, I would be getting phone calls and texts nonstop. No, actually, the whole clan would charge in here, ready to take on anyone who might try to stand in their way.”

  “You’re lucky to have such a caring family.”

  He nodded.

  I thought about calling Jessica, my lawyer. But I didn’t want her to question me again about where I was. She would also try to convince me to reenter the FBI witness protection plan. And that was out of the question. Although, I really needed a plan.

  Where would I go and how would I survive after leaving Ethan’s cabin? He had to return to work and his life. His furlough was ending in three days from now. Even if he offered for me to stay somewhere else with him, I wouldn’t accept it. I already put him in enough danger by coming with him here. He didn’t owe me anything.

  I patted my pocket, making sure the phone was in there. It was powered off though. I needed to check for messages. Maybe Jessica had some new facts that would make my situation easier.

  I was about to pull the phone out and turn it on when Ethan stood up and held his hand out to me. “Let’s eat breakfast and then we’ll go hiking.”

  Without thinking, I took his hand. That was a mistake. A warmth spread from his skin through mine, rushing in my veins, getting hotter, spreading into all those places of my body that it shouldn’t spread into. I stood up and jerked my hand back, but the longing stayed.

  “Sounds good?” he asked.

  “Uhm… yes. Breakfast… I would love to go for a hike.” I tried to put as much enthusiasm in
to my words as I could muster. Keeping my mind on the beautiful outdoors was a much better idea than getting more confused over Ethan. “What can I help with in the kitchen?”

  “Come with me.” He motioned with his head for me to follow. “I will show you.”

  Now I just had to figure out how to get the picture of his beautiful, half-naked body out of my mind. Oh, that was going to be hard.

  Chapter Seventeen

  ETHAN

  I couldn’t quite discern Lisbeth. One moment she seemed easy going and focused, and then she would become skittish like a shy schoolgirl, cowering with her head drawn between her shoulders. But then again, was I expecting too much from her? From what I’ve learned, she went through the horrors in the past two weeks. It was a miracle she hasn’t turned into a complete nutcase.

  PTSD, or the Post-traumatic Stress Disorder must have come as the result of watching her friend being raped and murdered. I’ve seen too many of my Marine buddies go through that. We witnessed the terrors; we lived through the nightmares, through excruciating fear, and a complete doubt in the existence of human goodness. The fortitude could only go so far.

  I was a lucky one—or maybe the unusually strong one, who was somehow well equipped to handle the dreads that came with my previous job. Although, let’s face it—Najia’s death was the last drop that forced me to leave the service. That’s when I decided to become the firefighter. Jack insisted it was because I chased after an adrenaline-inducing career, but that was bullshit.

  I poured more coffee into our mugs. Lisbeth washed her hands and asked what she could make for breakfast.

  “Let’s have eggs,” I decided. “I like scrambled. You?”

  “Scrambled are good.”

  “Okay then.” I got the eggs out of the fridge together with bacon, bread, peanut butter, and strawberry jam.

  “Mmm, I love peanut butter with jam.” Lisbeth’s eyes shone with anticipation.

  “On a bread?” I asked and then immediately realized that such an innocent question could be understood as an insinuation.

  “Of course. What else?” she asked indifferently.

  I wasn’t about to go there. If she was any other woman, I would have answered: On my stomach—spread thinly from my navel, all the way down for you to taste. But she wasn’t like the other women in my life. She would never be.

  The peanut butter fantasy set my sexual dial to “half-ready”. My cock hardened a little as if that fantasy was actually happening. To get distracted, I bent down to check on the firebox. The wood inside was burning nicely. It would provide enough heat to cook our breakfast.

  Lisbeth was already busy with breaking the eggs into a bowl and sprinkling salt and pepper into the mixture. I took care of the bacon, laying it carefully in the heated pan.

  My kitchen wasn’t huge, and cooking together on my wood burning stove didn’t warrant much space between us. The hairs on my arm stood up on end, sending a hot shiver down to my groin whenever our arms brushed against one another. This was such a sweet torment. I wasn’t sure how long I was able to withstand that nagging need that kept building inside me.

  “These are ready,” Lisbeth announced, meaning the eggs. They looked delicious.

  “Great. Get the plates from there,” I pointed to one of the cupboards, “and set them on the table. The silverware is in that drawer,” I pointed to another spot. She took the pan and carried it away, turning her back to me. I needed a very cold shower. Or a very hot sex.

  “Just ask,” she said, while standing on her tippy toes and reaching for the plates.

  “What?” I looked at her questioningly. Did she mean… no, better not. I hoped not. She wouldn’t tease me, would she?

  Lisbeth turned to me and raised one eyebrow. She held the pan with eggs in one hand and a plate in the other.

  “What do you mean exactly?” I was getting even more confused.

  “Do you ever say ‘please’, or do you only tell people what to do?”

  Ah, that’s what she meant. I exhaled a bit disappointed. A part of me was relieved, because no matter how much I wanted her, I resolved not to touch her. The other part… well, I wouldn’t even let that part get any votes in.

  I smirked and shook my head, returning to my bacon pan.

  “You know, a ‘please’ and a ‘thank you’ is usually very helpful. It opens a lot of doors.” She put the plate down and slid some of the scrambled eggs onto it.

  I shot her a dubious look, more to annoy her than anything else. I was inwardly chuckling at how easily I pushed her buttons.

  “I’m just saying.” Lisbeth reached for the second plate, still holding the pan with eggs with her other hand. Her shirt rose up a bit over the waistband of her shorts, revealing a narrow patch of skin. My gaze clung to that spot as if it was the most delicious thing in the world. And maybe it was.

  I removed the pan with bacon from the hot plate of my stove and walked to the table, where Lisbeth was already arranging the eggs on the second plate, leaving some space for the bacon.

  “Do you care for a few slices of bacon? If so, please move your fork off the plate. Thank you,” I said mockingly.

  She didn’t miss a beat. “Much better.”

  I rolled my eyes at her.

  “Adorable,” she said, looking at me.

  “Adorable?”

  “Yes. Men who aren’t afraid to roll their eyes are totally adorable. Rolling eyes is more of the women’s domain.”

  And just like that she totally messed with my manhood and me. She made me say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, with just one short comment. And then she called me freakin’ adorable, because I did what was a woman’s thing to do. Great, just great.

  I knew exactly what I wanted to do with her now—I wanted to put her across my knee and spank that shapely butt of hers. Hard, leaving red handprints on it, branding her to be mine. I regretted not having my sex toys in the cabin, but what would be the point? I’ve never invited any women here. This was my solitude, my escape, and so all the fun items were back at my house. But if I could only have my flogger or one of the black leather riding crops…

  That thought made me smile. It wasn’t a pretty smile, but she took it for something else entirely, because she said with a definite appreciation in her voice, “See? It wasn’t so hard, was it now?”

  I would like to show you hard. In so many ways.

  “Let’s eat. I’m starving.” I pulled the chair and sat down.

  She stood with her hands on her hips, eyebrows elevated.

  “Please,” I added derisively.

  This time she rolled her eyes, and I grinned through the mouthful of eggs. I’ve never had so much fun with a woman. Except for Chris, but she was a completely different story, being homosexual and my best female friend.

  Lisbeth slowly shook her head.

  “What?” I asked, while biting on a piece of bacon.

  “Nothing.” Lisbeth made an innocent face.

  I squinted at her skeptically.

  She sighed and chuckled. “Nothing. It’s okay. I’ve never spent a lot of time around guys, so…”

  “So?” I prompted.

  There was another sigh. She put her fork down and pushed her hair behind her ear. “Well, you’re such a… a… guy.”

  I almost choked on my food. “What did you expect?”

  “No, it’s not that.” She laughed nervously. “Just… I’ve never spent much time around men. I guess, I’m not used to… ah, let’s just drop it.”

  I laughed. “Okay, I promise not to burp loudly or fart or any of such. If that’s what you mean.”

  She went completely red in the face. That made me chuckle again. Wow, I couldn’t recall ever meeting a girl like this one. It was actually very refreshing.

  “Okay?” I asked.

  She shrugged, smiling shyly.

  I reclined in my chair and, tilting my head to one side watched her. That made her act even more uncomfortable. I motioned to her coffee mug and asked, “I’
m getting more. Do you want a refill?”

  “Sure, thank you.”

  “You bet. No, wait—you’re welcome.”

  “You’re just making fun of me,” she complained while getting milk jug out from the fridge.

  “How would I even dare?” I poured the fragrant, dark liquid into her cup, and then some into mine as well. So,” I changed the subject, “there are some cool hikes in this area. Let’s get going soon. Have you ever hiked before?”

  “I sure have. I enjoy the outdoors. Let me change into some long pants and put my boots on. I wouldn’t want to pick any ticks on the way.”

  I nodded with approval. Smart thinking. Ticks were a nasty business.

  About half hour later, we were on a rather easy, short hike. I chose one of the simplest hikes, not knowing the level of Lisbeth’s fitness. While hiking by myself or with any of my brothers, I would, most likely, chose a more demanding trail. But this time, I took my companion to a near-by, flat walk that wound close to the Devil’s Lake.

  Lisbeth kept glancing to the sides and taking in the surrounding area, her eyes wide-opened in awe. The scenery was beautiful: the Lake, the thicket of the greenery, the cloudless sky. The air was warm but still felt refreshing.

  I took a deep lungful and asked, “What do you think? Is this okay?”

  Her eyes smiled. Her whole face smiled! “Are you kidding? What a fantastic place. I love it!”

  That was uplifting. I couldn’t remember any woman I knew to be so upbeat about the outdoors.

  “A couple of miles down this way,” I pointed to our left, “is a great climbing wall. People come from all over the area to climb it, no matter the season.”

  “Do you rock climb?” she asked.

  “Yeah. All of us do. I mean my brothers and cousins. Have you ever tried?”

  “No. I don’t think I could. I’m really afraid of heights.”

  I nodded. Many people were scared of heights, and there wasn’t much to do about that.

  “This view is breathtaking.” Lisbeth put her hand on the trunk of a large oak tree, looking down at the Lake.