Saving Ayden

by Muriel Garcia

  “I wish you would have told me. I could have protected you.” He whispers, desperate.

  “It wouldn’t have changed anything Ant, I’m damaged.”

  “Don’t say that, you’re not. I have no idea how you feel or how you’ve managed to cope and get through it on your own, but I’m here for you now. I’m never letting you go or letting anyone else hurt you, ever again.”

  “It’s tough. I haven’t dated anyone, let alone be intimate with anyone. I never considered what I had with Michael to be a relationship or even dating. I can’t trust men anymore. I’m scared to be around men or people I don’t know. I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that I should let go of it and just live my life. I wish I could. And the people I know and want to be with.” I sigh. “I never blamed any of you, it’s just hard to be here knowing that someone could be watching us and will make me pay when I go back home.” He nods softly, thinking for a while. “The only thing that kept me alive while it was happening and all those years since then was you. You are the reason why I’m still alive to this day. The memories I have of you, of us before it happened made me want to fight to get out of the personal Hell I was trapped in and come back to you. It took me six years to get the guts to come back here and a couple more months to actually agree to speak to you. I was so scared all of it would happen again. I don’t know if it could still happen but my feelings for you are too strong to keep denying them.” I finish on a whisper.

  I can tell this is hard for him too. Hard to process and take in what I went through because of the club. He’s blaming himself and it’s breaking my heart. This is exactly what I was afraid would happen if I ever told him, well besides him wanting to kill the bastard who hurt me.

  “Come here.” He says softly and helps me lay down on the bed to cuddle. I feel so alive when I’m in his arms. I know my happiness short lived. I’m still scared shitless of what could happen. I don’t know if whoever took me away is still watching me, waiting to get his revenge when I’m not being careful, but I need this moment with Ant. I need to be in his arms and feel safe, I need to feel like nothing and no one could ever hurt me.

  “What are you thinking about?” He whispers softly, caressing my back.

  “I feel bad for telling you because I know you are blaming yourself for what happened and I’m thinking how nice it feels to be in your arms. I missed you.” I whisper.

  “I missed you too Sweet Cheeks. I’m glad you finally opened up. I hate that it happened to you because of the MC. If I would have known I would have taken you away from all of this a long time ago.”

  “No point in feeling guilty for what happened. You didn’t know and couldn’t know it would happen. I didn’t tell you everything for you to feel bad or mess with your head.”

  “I know, I’m sorry.” He kisses my head and rolls us over so I’m lying on top of him.

  “Don’t be sorry.” I kiss his jawline softly, smiling when he sighs happily. “Feels good?”

  “Very good, you have no idea how much I’ve missed this. How much I’ve missed you.”

  “You’ve been with other women—don’t act like you’ve been a saint Ant. You’re far from being a saint.” He sighs.

  “I have been with other women, none of them mattered though. Even though you ripped my heart out, I still love you. Even if I wanted to shut down the feelings I have for you but I couldn’t. I thought I was over you. I kept telling myself I was over you just to keep the little sanity I had left but it all came crashing down when you came back a couple of months ago. When I first saw you, I was frozen on the spot, torn between hating you and wanting you back. You can tell which side won.” He chuckles softly.

  “Oh so you wanted to stop having feelings for me huh?” I glare at him sitting up.

  “From everything I said, that’s what you picked out?” He pulls me back against him and holds me close.

  “Yep,” I sigh, “I felt the same way, I’ve never been able to move on from what we’ve had. I never wanted to leave you but I had no choice. As much as I loved you, I couldn’t cope with what happened, I couldn’t do it knowing what happened was caused by the MC’s actions. I never blamed the MC but I was having a hard time coping with the fact that someone attacked me and hurt me for payback. Things haven’t been easy. For the past six years I haven’t had any friends. I focused on studying and working. I never bothered socializing or getting close to anyone or making friends. It was hard when I started to work after I graduated. Everything is so different in New York. It didn’t feel like home. As scared as I was to be around the MC, I had to come back home. I was literally going insane. No friends, no family, and a business world filled with men. It wasn’t good for me.”

  “I can’t even begin to imagine what you went through and on your own. I get why you didn’t tell anyone and left without saying goodbye or leaving a note. I wish I’d known it sooner. I’m glad you're back. Things haven’t been the same without you—for me or for the guys. They miss their friend.” I nod and cuddle into him, wishing everything could be easier.

  “I missed them too. I still love you too.” I whisper into his chest. He squeezes me gently and pulls the covers over us.

  “We’ll make this right Sweet Cheeks. I promise.”

  “I wish it could be true.” I sigh.

  “It will be, I promise.” He kisses my head.

  We fall into a comfortable silence. I can’t help but wonder where this will lead us.

  I still love him and from what he said he still loves me too. I want things to get back to normal but they can’t. Things happened. I’m damaged.

  I’m still wondering if I should give us another change or just let my past tear us apart even more and break what we have left. I don’t want that to happen.

  I relax into his body and soon, sleep takes me. For once, I have a restful night of sleep with no nightmares, just happy dreams of Ant and I.

  Chapter 13

  Anthony

  I lie here, watching her sleep peacefully. I’m glad she’s able to get some rest.

  I’m completely dumbfounded. Ayden, my Sweet Cheeks, has been through Hell because of the club.

  Because of me!

  I always wondered what happened to her, what made her leave when we started to get serious, why she left without saying goodbye or a note, never even ended things with me. Now I know. And I fucking hate that I had to push her to confide in me, but I’m glad she finally told someone. Keeping it bottled up for years can’t be good.

  Listening to her tell me in detail what happened to her was really rough. I know I needed to hear what happened to her but I never expected she would tell me such horrible things. I wish I could take it all away from her and have her be her old happy self again. It killed me to see her fall apart.

  It sickens me to think anyone hurt and abused her. She never did anything wrong to anyone, yet our bad actions within the club landed back on her. I knew one day it would eventually fall back on one of our families or us. But that it fell back on my Ayden? I still can’t wrap my mind around it.

  What kind of fucking asshole would do that to her? She’s the sweetest girl ever, so loving, caring, funny, smart, and fucking beautiful—no wonder I never stopped loving her. I finally feel whole now—my heart is pieced back together, but fuck it if it didn’t break when she told me what happened to her.

  To be kidnapped, abused and hurt for a week as payback for us? That’s beyond fucked up. I still don’t get the point of doing that to her and having her distance herself from the club. She never told anyone and I’m not sure she ever will tell anyone else.

  I just don’t get it—something doesn’t sit right. Whoever would have done that to make the club pay, would have sent us some kind of message and not just scare Ayden away from us. It makes no fucking sense at all. Sure if his goal was to scare her away from us it worked… for a couple of years.

  I understand why she took off and never looked back, why she never replied to me or contacted me. It kills me to
think that she was on her own in a big city, not making friends, not socializing because she was too scared of what some person could do to her.

  A small part of me is glad she never dated or wanted to date and she was still in love with me, as bad as it may sound. I just wish she could have told us something or at least show us a sign of what happened, anything to let us know why she acted the way she did.

  She said she never mentioned anything out of fear I would go out and try to find whoever did it to her and she was right. I’m going to find the fucker and make him pay for the pain he inflicted on her. She’s still suffering from what happened. I know she’s scared that something will happen to her again, but I’ll protect her and make sure no one hurts her… ever again. Whoever tries will fucking die!

  I know she said it was too late, that the damage was done, but I need to look for that bastard. He needs to pay for what he did, feel the pain she went through, correction - is going through at the moment and probably for the rest of her life.

  I wanted to ask her if she was sure her attack was because of the club because it made no sense, but I didn’t want her to think I doubted her. I’m not, not in the slightest. I believe her—it’s just crazy fucking nonsense. I need to talk about it with someone, but I don’t know who. Maybe Gabe, he’ll know what to do or where to look. I know he can keep his mouth shut about it and not tell anyone what happened.

  It scarred her, I’m well aware of that, but I know she trusts me, I can tell or she would have freaked out and still not told me. I just have to find a way to help her cope and deal with it then move past it. I know we can be happy and live a happy life. Even if I’m in a MC—she knows the life and accepted it long ago when her dad was still president. She might be scared that whatever we do will fall back on her, but we will put a stop to the threat so she can live a normal life. I have to show her that she can trust me and that I will do anything and everything to protect her.

  One thing I hope is that her attack has nothing to do with the Bastards from Hell. Their name is really appropriate, they are the worst kind of human being there are. I don’t want to mention them to Gabe, but I’ll have to, they are the only ones we’ve had real problems with. He’s going to go mental if we find out they are the ones responsible.

  Ayden needs me and I need her, I’m not afraid to admit it. We are meant to be together, it took me long enough to realize what I had in front of me and I barely had time to savor it before she was ripped away from me. I intend to take back what’s mine, for good.

  I’m glad I have her back in my life and in my arms. It feels so good. I feel whole again. She is my life. I fucking love her! It fills me with warmth and pride that she managed to fall asleep so quickly in my arms. She seems to be sleeping quite peacefully, even after what happened and what she confessed. I know it’s going to be a long process to get her to feel better and let go of what happened but I’m here for her. I’m not going anywhere and I’ll help her every step of the way.

  Chapter 14

  Ayden

  I snuggle deeper into the blanket. It is way too warm but so comfy and comforting that I can’t help it. I wrap my arms around my pillow and squeeze. I freeze hearing a low chuckle and slight shaking from the pillow. I open one eye and I’m met with a tanned wall of muscles and tattoos. I groan and face plant Ant’s chest.

  “Morning Sweet Cheeks.” He chuckles.

  “Yeah, yeah, morning to you too.” I mumble and try to turn on my other side but he’s not letting me.

  “Not so fast.” He wraps his arms around me and cuddles into me. This feels amazing. I can’t remember the last time I felt this good and safe. Well except last night when I fell asleep almost instantly in his arms. I feel so comfortable and safe but I can’t let myself get used to this feeling—it’s just a onetime thing. I’m going back to ignoring him after I wake up properly. “How did you sleep?”

  I contemplate lying and tell him I haven’t had a good night of sleep in years but he knows me and I’m shit at lying. “First time I’ve slept this good in years. You?” I mumble not too happy to confess that fact.

  “Amazing, especially knowing you were in my arms.” He whispers in my ear, sending shivers down my spine and to my toes. I look up at him and he’s giving me the smile, the one only I get to see, the smile that shows he’s truly happy, relaxed, and right where he wants to be. I’ve seen that smile a lot when we were younger, but now that we are in our twenties, it holds a different meaning. I see he means what he just said, he’s happy I’m back in his life. There’s a trace of pain in his eyes, and I know I’m the one who put it there.

  “Where did you go just now?” He strokes my cheek and I nuzzle his hand.

  “Nowhere, why?” I look at him confused.

  “You were lost in your thoughts.”

  “Just thinking back about last night and despite me being scared shitless that something bad would happen again, I’m glad you’re back in my life and that we are friends again.” I smile softly.

  “Friends huh? We’re more than friends Sweet Cheeks, always were and always will be more than friends.” His tone is very serious so I just nod. “Good, glad we agree on that one. I have to handle to some club business today. You’re going to call work, take a couple of days off and spend those days here. I need to know you’re here and safe and that the prick from last night is not going to come and mess with you.”

  “Excuse me? You do know that you don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do right? You couldn’t back then, and you can’t now.” I raise my eyebrow. As hot as he is when he gets all alpha on me, I am not going to let him tell me what I can and can’t do!

  “Sweet Cheeks, I don’t have time to argue with you. I’m doing this for your own safety. I don’t want Michael to come after you and mess with you, especially when I’m not around to kick his sorry ass. So please, take a couple of days off, spend some time here. Gabe and Aleck miss you and I want you to meet a couple new brothers. Plus, Nicole is going to be ecstatic to see you.”

  “Fine!” I sigh. “Nicky is here?” I grin wide making him chuckle.

  “Talk about mood swing.” He grins at me sheepishly.

  “Piss off Ant!” I try to punch him but he blocks my hand.

  “Yes, Sweet Cheeks, she’s here and she wants to hang out with you.” He chuckles.

  “Alright, but I’m not doing it for you, I want to catch up with my friends.” I smirk playfully.

  “Some things never change.” He chuckles getting dressed.

  “What do you mean?” I raise my eyebrow, sneakily checking him out and blush when he notices.

  “Enjoying the view?” He smirks.

  “It’s alright.” I shrug playfully.

  “Brat.” He chuckles kissing my forehead.

  “Whatever Big Man!” I roll my eyes and try to get out of bed but he quickly pins me down, holding my hands by my head. If it had been anyone else, this position would have freaked me out but it’s Ant. I know he would never hurt me or do anything to cause me any distress. I know I can trust him completely.

  “Say it again.” He nearly growls.

  “Whatever?” I look at him confused.

  “Say it.” His gaze is intense, filled with lust.

  “Big Man.” I whisper looking into his eyes.

  “Only you.” He whispers and brushes his lips over mine. I can’t help the moan that escapes my lips. He quickly freezes and looks at me distraught—the lust left his eyes completely. Fear and pain replace it. He lets go of my hands and starts to sit up—I grab his face and hold it close to mine.

  “Don’t you dare pull away from me! I knew it was you just a few seconds ago. I know you wouldn’t have taken things too far. I know you would never hurt me. You are you, my Ant. I trust you. I know you didn’t mean to do it in a way that would bring back bad memories. I’m damaged yes, but telling you last night and you still being here for me is giving me hope that we can still have something. I’ve let what happened ruin and rule my life for
too long. I need to start living my life for me and not in fear of what might happen. Yes, there are times when it will be hard for the both of us but we have to stick together.” I take a deep breath. “I love you so fucking much Anthony. You have no idea how much I love you. Nothing will ever change that. You are my light, my lifeline, my reason to wake up in the morning and why I’m still here now. I’ve lived in the darkness for so long and I’m finally seeing light so please don’t take it away from me. Don’t take my light away from me.” I finish on a whisper, tears falling down my cheeks. He rests his forehead on mine and takes in a shaky breath.

  “I'm sorry Sweet Cheeks. I just thought you were going to freak out and I would be the one who caused you to have a flashback. I’m sure either of us freaking out about it will happen again, but you're right we have to stick together.” He smiles and I melt.

  “Don't be sorry, it's okay.” I smile up at him and we cuddle in bed under the sheets. “I love you so much.” I whisper into his chest.

  “I love you too Sweet Cheeks, so, so, so much.” He whispers into my hair and kisses the top of my head.

  We cuddle—me half on top of him, his arms wrapped around me for a couple of minutes. I know he has to leave and get on the road for who know what kind of business. I’ve learned from a young age to never ask what kind of business they were taking care of. Most of the time my curiosity got the best of me and I’d ask, but I don’t want a fight right now. My dad would always send me to my room when I would ask him or one of the other guys. It sucked but I was a brat about it.

  “I have to go Sweet Cheeks.” He says, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

  “I know. Please be careful.” I kiss the corner of his lips.

  “Always Sweet Cheeks.” He squeezes my neck gently and gets up. “I don’t know when I will be back tonight but please sleep in my bed. I want you here when I get back.”

  “I will.” I promise him, seeing the desperate need in his eyes.

  “Thank you.” He whispers against my lips.