Full Circle

by Rosanne Bittner

  “It is not for you to know.”

  “Do not be a fool, Black Hawk! She will poison your mind, and poison Little Fox’s mind! She is like all the others, come here to destroy us! She has chosen you because you are the strongest, because the People listen to you, follow you. Stay away from that evil one! She will take away all that is Sioux about you! Our ancestors will weep in their graves, and the Great Spirit will punish you if you give any more thought to this woman!”

  He eased his grip on her. “Perhaps Wakantanka will punish me if I do not speak with this woman.”

  “Why! It is true, then, isn’t it? She was part of your vision!” She gritted her teeth. “I could kill her!”

  Black Hawk glared at her, then without warning he backhanded her across the face. Otter Woman cried out, and her face spun away from him, but he felt no remorse. “You will never speak of this to another soul, do you hear?” Black Hawk warned her. “You will not speak of it with me, or with your grandmother or any of the many men you allow between your legs! You will say nothing to the white woman or to Broken Knife or Anita or anyone else! Do you understand me, Otter Woman?”

  She put a shaking hand to her cheek and nodded her head.

  “My son still sleeps, and I have need of you again,” Black Hawk told her then.

  He pushed her down on the bed of robes, then raised to his knees, parting her legs. He shoved himself inside her, and Otter Woman took him willingly, excited by his anger, glad he still wanted her, all the while thinking how she might get rid of the white woman or scare her into going back to the land of the rising sun where she belonged. In the days of freedom, Sioux women had numerous ways of frightening and torturing captive white women. How she would love to have that light-haired teacher as her slave! She would regret ever coming here! She would not say anything about her again to Black Hawk, but that did not mean she would not find a way to banish the white bitch from the reservation!

  Black Hawk surged wildly, grasping Otter Woman’s hips and taking his pleasure, fighting the image he saw in that moment. The woman beneath him was not dark and of his own race. She had skin like the white petals of a daisy, hair like yellow grass, eyes blue as the sky. He had never seen the nipples of a white woman. Were they brown? Perhaps they were pink, like sweet berries. Was the hair between her legs as yellow as the hair on her head? Was her skin as soft as it appeared? Did a white woman enjoy a man the way Indian women did?

  He wanted to touch her. He wanted to speak with her again, to know why she had been a part of his vision, to know what she meant when she said they must talk again. How did she know that? Why had she not been afraid of him? Why did she already seem to know him that first day he had set eyes on her?

  He leaned down and rubbed Otter Woman’s sore cheek. “I am sorry,” he told her gently. He licked at her neck, but he dreamed of tasting white skin, and his apology was to a woman who was not present to hear him. His life spilled into Otter Woman’s barren belly, and she whispered his name in great pleasure. He looked down at her. The woman who looked back at him had blue eyes, and a smile of wonder and pleasure on her full lips. Golden hair spilled about her face and shoulders, and she belonged only to him… and he to her.

  “Just look, Anita,” Evelyn said. She stood beside the desk looking out at the children sitting at the homemade tables that served as desks for the little, one-room school. “In just one month we have gone from no pupils to eight. Most of our progress is thanks to you.”

  “We would not have the school at all if not for you. And they would not have come if they did not trust you. They trust you because they know your heart is good, and because you speak their tongue and do not scold them for speaking it themselves.”

  “William is learning quickly. He prefers to speak in English, wants very much to learn.” Evelyn faced the Indian woman, wishing she could get Black Hawk off her mind. Ever since their run-in a few days ago, she could hardly think about anything else. “Janine mentioned to me once that Black Hawk can speak English when he wants to. Do you know how he learned? Do you think he teaches his son English?”

  Anita smiled. She had not been able to help telling everyone she met the story of the confrontation between Black Hawk and Evelyn Gibbons. By now half the reservation was probably talking about it. She wished Evelyn would tell her more about why she had talked to the man the way she did, why she had not seemed afraid of him. “Black Hawk is very wise and cunning,” she answered. “He knew at a young age that if he did not understand the white man’s language, he could be easily tricked. As a teenager, after he lost his parents in a battle with soldiers who chased them into Canada, he came into the reservation and pretended to surrender. He allowed Catholic missionaries to teach him English, so that later, when more treaties were made, he could understand everything that was being said. It is said that he learned very quickly, that the missionaries were astonished at his intelligence; but he never took to the white man’s ways or religion. As soon as he knew all he thought he needed, he left again. Why do you always ask about him, Evy?”

  Evelyn felt a blush come to her face. “I just—there is so much mystery about him, that’s all.”

  “Have you spoken with Night Hunter yet?”

  “No. I’m not sure—” Evelyn heard a horse ride up. “There is Reverend Phillips for the daily religious lessons.” This time it was Anita who blushed. The woman turned to begin erasing some numbers from a chalkboard, and Evelyn knew it was just a way of not having to face the reverend. Phillips came inside, holding a box.

  “Good day, ladies. I’ve brought some little crosses sent by one of our sponsor-churches back East. I thought I would hand them out to each child and try to explain the symbol of the cross… that is, Miss Gibbons, if you will help me by interpreting to the ones who do not understand English.”

  “Of course, Reverend Phillips.” Evelyn was glad to change the conversation away from Black Hawk. She had no idea what she was going to do about what seemed a ridiculous situation. She only knew something was left unsettled, and she had to find a way to settle it. Maybe then the dreams would stop visiting her in the night. “Let me see the crosses. Are they necklaces?”

  “Yes. I know how the Indians love jewelry, so the children should find these delightful.” Phillips walked up close to her, handing her the box, but he did not let go of it right away. “Miss Gibbons, I have been putting off asking you, but there is little time left.”

  Evelyn looked up at him curiously. “Ask me what?”

  The man looked flustered. “Well, I don’t much believe in dancing, but out here a person has to take whatever entertainment comes along just to break the lonesomeness of this land. They’re having a dance at the fort Saturday night. I wondered if perhaps you would let me take you.”

  Evelyn could almost feel Anita’s disappointment. She needed the woman’s friendship and help, wanted no hard feelings; nor did she want to hurt John Phillips’s feelings. “I… I’m flattered, Reverend.” She glanced at Anita, who remained turned away. She looked back at the reverend. “But I’m afraid someone else has already asked me.”

  “Someone else? Then I am too late. Who is taking you?”

  “Sergeant Desmond has asked me, and I accepted,” she lied. She realized she really would have to accept Desmond’s invitation, rather than create hard feelings between herself and Anita.

  Anita turned around, surprised at Evelyn’s answer. “But, Evy—”

  Evelyn faced the woman, trying to tell her with her eyes that it was all right. “I gave him my answer yesterday,” she told her. She looked back at the reverend. “Perhaps Anita would like to go with you. I am sure she would enjoy it,” she told the man.

  Phillips turned to Anita, who was staring at both of them with a red face and wide eyes. “Evy! I am sure Reverend Phillips does not need to be told who to take—”

  “How about it, Miss Wolf? May I take you to the dance?” Phillips felt he had no choice now but to ask Anita. Still, someho
w he did not mind. He had never been sure how to feel about Indian women, what Janine or those back East who sponsored him would think about him seeing one socially; nor had he ever noticed before the look he saw now in Anita’s dark eyes. He felt confused. His attraction was to the beautiful Evelyn Gibbons, but he knew deep inside she did not feel the same way for him.

  Anita swallowed, feeling hot all over. She loved Evelyn Gibbons for literally sacrificing herself to Sergeant Desmond rather than hurting her by going with the reverend. “I… yes, Reverend, I accept your invitation; but are you sure? I mean, I am Sioux… and my father and brother are not so well respected.” She looked down at the desk.

  Phillips smoothed his mustache nervously. “Well, I guess I can’t come here and treat you and your people like equals without learning to consider you equal in every way, not just in religion and schooling; but also in friendship.”

  Anita felt light-headed. A dance! With Reverend Phillips! “What about Janine? She would also enjoy the dance.”

  “My sister is already planning to go. Lieutenant Teller invited her. He will meet her at the fort.”

  “Oh, I’m glad for her,” Evelyn spoke up. “I know she was hoping the lieutenant would ask her.”

  Phillips looked surprised. “Why on earth would you accept an invitation from the sergeant?” he asked. “I doubt that he is much of a gentleman, Miss Gibbons.”

  Evelyn smiled. “There were other men with him when he asked me,” she answered. “I didn’t want to embarrass him by turning him down. Besides, we’ll be at the fort surrounded by a lot of people. Maybe I can help teach Desmond a few manners.”

  Phillips frowned. “I’ll be keeping an eye on you.” He looked back at Anita. “Be at the church by seven Saturday morning. I’ll take you and Janine in the wagon from there. It will take nearly all day to get there. We will all have to spend the night at the fort because of the long ride back. I am told that the colonel in charge is kicking some of the men out of their barracks to accommodate any females who come so that they will have a place to sleep. There will be plenty of food for all, so we should have a good time. You and Miss Gibbons and Janine have all worked very hard, and we have a long, lonely winter ahead of us.” He turned to Evelyn. “It gets a lot colder here and the snow a lot deeper than you might realize,” he told her. “I know you’re used to such things in Wisconsin, but it can get even worse here. There will be days when you’ll wish for someone to talk to, days when none of the children can get to school. That’s why I’m taking advantage of the dance.”

  “I’m sure we’ll all enjoy ourselves,” Evelyn assured him. The reverend’s disappointment that she would go with someone else was evident in his eyes, and Evelyn could only pray he would see how much Anita cared for him. She felt sorry for the woman’s secret passion for this man who had no inkling of how she felt.

  Phillips sighed. “I am sure we will. Is the sergeant coming for you, or will you also go with us?”

  “I… I’m not sure,” Evelyn answered, realizing she would have to find a way to contact Jubal Desmond and tell him she would go with him to the dance after all. “He is supposed to let me know,” she lied.

  The reverend turned back to Anita. “By the way, ladies, Agent McLaughlin has told me that a circus is coming to the reservation.”

  “A circus!” Anita’s eyes widened. “I have read about such things, but… here? At Standing Rock?”

  “It’s being sponsored by the government, some sort of project to show the Sioux a bit of the outside world, exotic animals and acts, that sort of thing. I suppose they feel it might stir their curiosity, to learn more about the white man’s world. It should be quite exciting!”

  “A circus!” This time it was Evelyn who made the exclamation. “What an unusual idea. Perhaps it could help open these people’s eyes a little, make them more eager to learn about other things in the world outside the reservation. I think it’s a wonderful idea!”

  “Well, we’ll see about that. It won’t be for another six weeks, around mid-September. Right now I am going out to the wagon to get some fresh biscuits Janine baked this morning for the children.”

  He turned and left, and Anita rushed to Evelyn’s side. “Why did you lie to him that way, Evy! You can’t stand Sergeant Desmond!”

  Evelyn shrugged. “Maybe the man will turn out to be more of a gentleman at a formal dance than I think he is.”

  “But you already told him no!”

  “Then I will have to get a message to him that I have changed my mind.”

  “I wish you would not have done this. I know why you did it, and it is not necessary.”

  Evelyn touched the woman’s arm. “Yes, it is, Anita. I think it’s time you started letting Reverend Phillips know how you feel. You think he wouldn’t want you because you’re Sioux, but you have to give him the chance to make his own choices.”

  “It is you he has eyes for.”

  “And I don’t have eyes for him. This is the best way to discourage him and help him see who really loves him.”

  “But if you go with the sergeant and he insults you or—”

  “I can take care of myself, Anita.”

  “But what if he has already asked someone else by now?”

  Evelyn shrugged. “Then I will stay here. It isn’t that important to me. I’ll think of some excuse to stay behind.”

  “You could go with the three of us.”

  Evelyn smiled. “No. I would just be in the way. I want Reverend Phillips to give all his attention to you Saturday night.”

  Anita’s eyes teared. “You are a generous woman, Evy. I—”

  The reverend came back inside then, and the conversation ended. Evelyn thought with dread about what it might be like to accept Jubal Desmond’s offer. She had no choice now. She would have to put up with him, but it was worth it if it brought Anita and John Phillips together.

  Nine

  Anita stood beside the reverend. Both of them watched Janine dance with Lieutenant Teller. Anita could tell Janine was bursting with happiness to be there with the lieutenant, and although Janine felt dancing was improper and terribly bold, she had not turned down one dance, welcoming the chance to get closer to Teller. Anita knew the reverend was watching to be sure Janine was treated with respect, but she also knew that his mind was not really on his sister tonight.

  “I don’t understand it,” the man fussed, his gaze turning to Jubal Desmond and Lucille Bridges. Desmond had kept the poor girl dancing to nearly every single tune played, and he held her embarrassingly close. “Lucille is a beautiful girl, of course, but much too young to be dating an army man the sergeant’s age. And why would the man ask Miss Gibbons to the dance and then turn around and ask someone else? Not that I would want to see Miss Gibbons with the likes of Desmond all evening, mind you, but it just makes no sense.”

  “Evy said there was just some kind of mix-up,” Anita answered him. “She really didn’t mind.” She sipped on some punch and wondered if the reverend even remembered he was supposed to be her escort this evening. All he could talk about was the fact that “poor Miss Gibbons” had been left behind alone and what an insult it was for her to discover Sergeant Desmond had apparently asked someone else to the dance.

  “She could at least have come anyway. Janine would have enjoyed her company.”

  And so would you have, Anita thought. She did not blame Evelyn for the fact that the evening had been spoiled. After all, the woman had done her best to make sure the reverend took her to the dance and not Evelyn. How was she to know that Desmond had gone ahead and asked someone else? Lucille certainly was beautiful tonight, but she did not look very happy. She wondered why the girl had accepted the very unlikable Desmond’s invitation and why Seth Bridges had apparently agreed to allow his young daughter to be here with a man so much older than she; nothing really mattered as much as the fact that all John Phillips could talk about was the insult to Evelyn Gibbons and the fact that while ev
eryone else was here having a good time, she was back at her cabin alone.

  “The prettiest, kindest, most available young woman on this whole reservation, and she is left with no one to bring her to a dance,” Phillips muttered, apparently oblivious to how the remark might hurt Anita. “It was ridiculous of her to refuse to come with us. Why, there are any number of men here tonight who would have paid attention to her. They would have been lined up waiting for a dance.”

  Anita swallowed back an urge to cry. “I am sure Evy thought it might be awkward if she showed up after the confusion over the sergeant’s invitation. She told me she had at first turned him down, then changed her mind. By then he had already asked someone else.”

  “Well, she must have known when I asked her that she did not intend to go with Desmond.”

  The reverend was watching others dance, and Anita took the opportunity to study his profile. He was not a tall man, but he was built well enough, and tonight he looked more handsome than she had ever seen him. Janine had made him a new blue serge suit, and his hair was slicked back and smelled of lilac. Had he gotten himself all gussied up for her? Or had he been hoping Evelyn Gibbons would come with them after all?

  “I believe, Reverend that she turned you down and said she already had a date because she was afraid the sergeant would be highly insulted if he saw her show up with you after she had told him no. She probably went back to accept and discovered then that it was too late. I am sure she stayed away to avoid any embarrassment or any trouble. I really don’t think she minds. There were some things she wanted to work on for school.” Please look at me, Reverend Phillips. Please act as though you care that I am here and that I mean something to you. Please dance with me. “I am sure she would be less embarrassed if you said nothing more to her about it.”

  Phillips closed his eyes and sighed. “Yes, I suppose.”

  When he finally turned and looked at her, Anita waited hopefully. She had worn her best dress, nothing fancy, but a pretty pink-flowered calico that she thought showed off her trim figure in a flattering way. After she had braided her hair and wrapped the braids at the back of her head she had looked closely at herself in a mirror, pleased with how smooth and perfect her complexion was.