Come Undone

by Madelynne Ellis

  Dani swung to face her. ‘No. We can’t leave it like this. They’ll fine us.’

  ‘Don’t be silly. They don’t know that it looks like this, and we’ll be home before they notice. Besides, the bill’s already settled. The guys paid for it.’

  Further thoughts about the room were zapped from Dani’s head at the mention of guys, plural. The evidence laid all around them, but she’d deliberately erased those details from the picture. Admittedly, one man would never use that many condoms. More foil wrappers crinkled under foot as she crossed the room. It made her damn uncomfortable, how Ginny was happy to have numerous men pawing her all at the same time. Love was between two people, but then she supposed Ginny would tell her that love had nothing to do with it. She’d been having fun.

  Perhaps leaving was a good idea. Dani swallowed slowly. She supposed her actions last night weren’t so very different from Ginny’s. Neither of them would hook up with the same men again. But Dani’s heart had been very much involved. Her chest felt tight every time she thought about Xane.

  ‘OK, let’s go,’ she agreed, hitching the strap of her overnight bag over her shoulder. Maybe, once they were home and some measure of normality returned, the truth of how she’d spent the night would be less likely to explode from her, leaving behind a mess as big as the one Ginny’s antics had created.

  She wouldn’t see Xane again, and that was eating away at her.

  ‘Where’d you get those jeans from?’ Ginny asked as they emerged into the hotel parking lot. ‘I mean, you didn’t have room in your purse to hide them. They’re not even PVC, are they? They’re real leather.’

  ‘I borrowed them,’ Dani huffed. She didn’t want to say they belonged to Xane and that she’d taken them from his wardrobe while he was talking to Ash and Spook, or to admit that she’d run away because she was terrified of how strongly she felt about him after only one night, and how badly her heart would get bruised if she stayed any longer.

  She couldn’t give Xane the casual, non-serious fun he obviously needed to lift him out of his current plight. She both liked and needed him too much for that. Really, she ought never to have climbed into bed with him. Not that she regretted it.

  Just – the thing was, kissing rock stars was a fantasy. It wasn’t supposed to happen, especially not to someone like her. She didn’t live in the land of supermodels and fairy-tale princesses. She was plain old ordinary Daniella Fosbrook, a nobody who right now needed to go hide in a corner and cry.

  At least she could do so wearing a T-shirt fragrant with his musk.

  They reached the car and Dani threw her overnight bag into the boot.

  ‘I really was worried when you didn’t show up,’ Ginny said as she slid hers in alongside it.

  ‘Sorry. I did mean to call, but I kind of got distracted. That was really selfish of me. I didn’t actually plan to stay out.’

  ‘It’s OK, as long you’re fine. Are you?’

  ‘Course,’ she replied, faking cheeriness. She turned away to hide her discomfort.

  If only Xane hadn’t asked for her number. He wouldn’t call her. She knew that, but now the expectation was there, and she’d be waiting for him to call even though she knew he wouldn’t.

  They drove home in silence, without even turning the stereo on. ‘Was he cute?’ Ginny eventually asked after twenty minutes on the road.

  ‘Who?’

  ‘The guy you spent the night with.’

  ‘I never said I spent the night with someone.’

  A tiny smile twitched at the edges of Ginny’s lips. ‘Babe, you’re wearing his clothes, and you smell of him. Besides, he must have been good, because you’ve hardly mentioned Xane Geist. I was expecting you to be sobbing on my shoulder by now, feeling bad for him and all that stuff.’

  ‘He wasn’t cute,’ Dani said, choosing to answer Ginny’s first question.

  Xane was many things, scary, intense, delicious, but cute wasn’t one of them. ‘And I’m not sure he was good for me either.’

  Though she kept her attention on the traffic, Dani could still feel vibes of incredulity sparking off Ginny. She supposed it did sound rather weird. From Ginny’s perspective, she’d passed over meeting Black Halo backstage in favour of spending the night with a guy who apparently had nothing to recommend him.

  ‘Did you get to meet the band?’ she asked hoping to deflect any more questions before they were voiced.

  Ginny wriggled upright immediately, her uncertainty on Dani’s account disappearing. ‘I met. I partied. We fucked, and did sexy, smoochy stuff.’

  ‘What, with all of them?’ It was her turn for scepticism. She knew perfectly well Ginny hadn’t met Xane, and she doubted the rest of the band had felt much like partying.

  ‘Nearly all. The only one I didn’t meet was your man hunk Xane. I have to tell you, you missed out, babe. They’re all completely drop dead … And Ash – oh, my God, Ash – he fucks like a goddamned maniac. He’s so fucking hot he sizzles. I swear I have burn marks all over me.’ Ginny even lifted the hem of her top to look for the evidence across her midriff.

  Dani guessed Xane had been right. His band mate had performed as expected – forwards, backwards and upside down. She very nearly asked as much. Instead, she murmured, ‘I met Xane.’ Despite her voice being barely audible over the sounds of the traffic and her friend’s rambling account, Ginny heard her. At which point her own account dried up.

  ‘You met Xane. That’s who you spent the night with! You’re wearing Xane’s clothes? Fuck, Dani! I think you better tell me about it. What’s up? Was he a prick?’

  ‘No.’ Dani shook her head. ‘I gave him a ride home because he needed a lift and then he invited me in, and we did stuff.’

  ‘Good stuff?’ Ginny continued to peer at her incredulously.

  Dani summoned a nod and smile.

  ‘So-o-o why the sad face?’

  ‘It’s over. That was my moment with him.’

  ‘Babe.’ Ginny patted her knee.

  ‘He asked for my number, but I know he won’t call.’

  ‘Hey, I didn’t even get asked for my number.’ Ginny glowered at her for half a second before shrugging off her resentment. ‘Maybe that means he really likes you. You never know, he might actually call. Let’s get in the house and then you better tell me everything.’

  Chapter 14

  Ginny demanded a full blow-by-blow account, right down to how many steps led into Xane’s bedroom, how many hairs he had on his chest and how many piercings he had, and exactly where.

  ‘Just tell me what he said again.’ Ginny slurped a mouthful of hot chocolate laced with cream and marshmallows. ‘Try to remember his exact words.’

  ‘“Give me an hour or so, and then we’ll catch up.”’ Dani scooped the frosting off her drink and stared at the muddy liquid, longing for a nice cup of tea. Hours had passed without a word from Xane, and she was sitting at the little breakfast table in the kitchen she shared with Ginny, still dressed in Xane’s clothes, wondering if she’d ever find the motivation to move again. Her phone lay on the table, silent, its screen dark.

  ‘I guess they’re still hashing stuff out. It’s pretty major to walk off stage. I guess there’s a shitload of mess to clean up, and that’s before they negotiate a way forward. At least we know that Ash and Spook are with him. The core of the group will stick together.’

  Dani wasn’t so certain about that. Xane had seemed adamant that it was over, but maybe he frequently made OTT remarks that he then backed down over. Whatever the case, she doubted he even remembered her name by now, let alone why he had kohl marks up his arm.

  When her phone began to wail with Xane’s voice, and it danced across the table top towards her, she could only stare at it in alarm. In the end, Ginny picked it up. ‘Unknown number,’ she whispered, as though the caller might hear. ‘It’s got to be him.’

  ‘Don’t answer it.’

  Chances were that it wasn’t Xane but some salesman intent on providing her with a dream
kitchen she’d never be able to afford, which would leave her doubly disappointed.

  ‘Are you frickin’ insane? We haven’t been sitting here praying for the last three hours for you to ignore him when he acts as promised.’ Ginny hit ‘answer’ and clamped the phone to her ear. ‘Hello.’

  ‘Dani?’

  Even where Dani was sitting, a foot away, Xane’s devilish purr reached across the ether to scramble her senses. Her insides had been knotted tight, but they instantly relaxed. Her pulse leapt and joy bubbled through her veins like she’d dived into a champagne bath. She hadn’t dared believe it. But he’d done it. Xane had kept his promise. He’d called.

  ‘It’s him.’ Ginny mouthed unnecessarily. Her eyes lit with glee. ‘What shall I say?’

  Dani held out her hand to take the phone, but Ginny warded her off. ‘This is Ginny, Dani’s house mate.’ She hit ‘speaker’, so that Dani would hear Xane’s reply. ‘Dani’s not available right now, but I could give her a message.’ She wound a strand of black hair around her finger, just as she did when she was flirting face to face.

  Dani rolled her eyes in disbelief. ‘Would you hand that over?’

  Ginny slipped out of her chair and danced backwards across the kitchen out of reach.

  ‘Listen, Ginny, was it? Could you let Dani know that I’m on my way over, and to pack some summer clothes and her passport? I’ll be there in about five minutes.’

  ‘Are you guys going somewhere?’

  ‘What? No,’ Dani insisted, shaking her head.

  ‘Hopefully,’ Xane replied.

  ‘Where?’ Dani mouthed, and, for that matter, how on earth did he know where she lived? She’d only given him her phone number, not her address.

  ‘What number flat is it?’

  While Ginny explained how to access the building and find them, Dani clutched the worktop for support. She’d dreamed of stuff like this back when she still lived at St Agatha’s. How Xane would turn up and whisk her off, away from the silence, the prayer and the all-pervasive sense of being judged and found inadequate. She’d ride off in a Ferrari with him to be wild and free, and would never look back.

  Great fantasy though it was, she couldn’t really drop everything and run away with him. She’d end up in so much shit, she’d never be able to dig herself out again. Uni would want to know why she was skipping lectures, and her mum would completely lose it and send the God squad out after her. And then, when she was found … No. She wasn’t even going to contemplate how bad that would be. She clenched her fists and resisted the urge to scratch at her hips. She might as well retire to a nunnery now.

  ‘Um, dude, you might need to explain how you found her,’ Ginny purred into the receiver while a bemused smile stretched her lips, ‘because she’s looking kind of confused about it.’

  Xane’s strong, warm laugh filled the tiny kitchen. ‘The same way people find me. The Internet. It took about three minutes. You girls ought to be more careful about the information you give out. I definitely can’t recommend putting that stuff on Facebook.’

  ‘Point taken,’ Ginny replied, but Xane had already hung up. ‘Although, given that a lack of care has led you to our door, why would we want to be?’ She offered the now silent phone to Dani, who failed to take it. Ginny tucked it into Dani’s back pocket instead. ‘You all right, Saint?’ She patted Dani’s cheek. ‘Let’s pack your stuff.’

  Dani clasped her friend’s arm tight. Circumstances last night had given her courage that she couldn’t find now. ‘Ginny, I can’t. What’ll people think? I can’t just drop everything for a man I barely know.’

  ‘Duh – yeah, you can. Stuff what people think. They might say you were crazy if you were running off with portly Dave from the local drive-thru, but this is Xane Geist we’re discussing. You know, Xane Geist, scary sexy god, multi-millionaire, born for girls to swoon over, Xane Geist. What they’re going to say is the same thing I’m thinking. “You lucky, lucky, bitch.” Now pack. Or I swear I’m going to whip your ass black and blue.’

  Pack! She didn’t even know where she was going. Would it be far enough? ‘Gin, what if my mum finds out? She’ll cut me off.’

  ‘Uh, Xane Geist! Who gives a damn? And you can always flip burgers to top-up the stupendous student loan, like I have.’

  ‘What about the essay I have due?’

  ‘Dani. Fuck the assignment. Like you haven’t already written it. I’ll hand it in for you. Happy? Now, come on.’ Ginny squeezed her tight. ‘You’re going to have such a fabulous time, you sly frog. You’d better tell me all about it when you get back. I want every detail.’ She froze a moment, her head cocked to one side. ‘You are coming back?’

  ‘Course.’

  ‘Right then.’

  Inside Dani’s bedroom, Ginny overturned her case, spilling the contents onto the floor. ‘Nice underwear. Make sure it matches, and none of your belly-warmer pants.’ She left Dani to do the actual sorting and sashayed over to the wardrobe. ‘What do you have that’s halfway nice?’

  ‘Not a whole lot.’ Clothes had always served her on a practical level rather than a superficial one; hence the need to borrow something of Ginny’s to wear to the gig last night.

  ‘This isn’t bad.’ Ginny held a thigh-length dress with a pattern of red roses against her front. ‘You should take this, in case he wants to eat dinner. Um, and I can lend you my pleated skirt to go with this top. Do you know how long you’re going for?’

  ‘I don’t know anything. You’re the one that spoke to him.’

  Ginny deposited another few items into the case, including Dani’s cosmetics bag that she snatched up off the floor. ‘Do you have a bikini?’

  ‘No, and I’m not wearing one. Gin, you’re acting like I’m going to the Bahamas, when he’s probably going to take me to the Holiday Inn down the road and attempt to screw me senseless for the weekend.’ Dani wrenched the coat hanger from her friend’s grasp.

  ‘Well, if you’re objecting, I’m fine going in your place.’ Ginny tugged back.

  ‘Like hell.’ She stopped glaring at her friend and put the back of her hand to her mouth to cover her smile. ‘Do you have any condoms?’ she asked. ‘I think I might need them more than –’ she waved her hand over the mess across her bed ‘– well, more than any of this.’

  Ginny’s grin stretched from ear to ear. ‘Course I do.’ She scampered off to get them. Meanwhile, Dani spent a moment taking stock of her possessions and putting a few of them in the case. Whatever Xane had planned … She knew what he had planned. It didn’t take a genius to deduce that he intended to finish what he’d started that morning. He wanted her naked beneath him, with his big cock right up inside her, and damn, if she didn’t want that too, though the notion of being so soundly taken put more knots in her intestines than an entire hellfire-and-damnation sermon from Sister Anna.

  She put her hand to her mouth again, this time to contain a wave of nausea as her stomach churned.

  It’ll be worth it, she told herself, trying hard to ignore how much potential there was for things to go spectacularly wrong.

  ‘Nervous?’ Ginny asked her when she returned with a jumbo pack of prophylactics.

  Dani nodded. At least this time he wouldn’t be asking her to control a moving vehicle while his presence robbed her of her senses.

  No, he’d be treating her to another round of glorious sex.

  A small smile broke through her fears. She hadn’t lied about never having come with a man. She was looking forward to learning how good it could get. The early signs were definitely promising. Of course, there remained the small issue of not exposing herself, but maybe Xane wouldn’t mind doing it with the lights off. He was a member of a gothic rock band. They normally hung out in the dark.

  Ginny gave her a hug. ‘Just remember you can call me any time,’ she said, her normally cheery face growing serious. ‘And you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. It doesn’t make a jot of difference that he’s more famous than God. If he does an
ything you don’t like, you tell him to stop it. Then, if he doesn’t oblige, call the cops on the goddamned domineering arsehole.’

  ‘Gin,’ she squeaked in alarm, a thick lump having formed in her throat. ‘Where the hell did that come from?’

  ‘I’m just trying to keep you safe, Saint. Sometimes you get your head stuck in the clouds. He’s Xane Geist, not Prince Charming. He’s not here to rescue you. He wants to plumb your furrow.’

  Dani sank onto the bed and hid her face with her hands. ‘Ginny, I don’t think I can do this.’

  ‘Rubbish,’ her friend replied. ‘You’ve been dreaming of this for ever, and when he walks through that door you’re going to say “yes” to whatever he suggests, then leave holding his hand.’

  * * *

  Naturally, Ginny was right. When Xane showed up, the mad panic making spaghetti of her insides transformed into butterflies of pure glee. She beamed. She restrained herself from squealing, and then got into a car with him with barely a backwards glance.

  The ladies at St Agatha’s would have died on the spot if they’d witnessed it. Hadn’t they properly drummed it into her that guys only wanted to get girls alone for one purpose?

  Too bad she wanted Xane for the exact reason that made him so dangerous – and boy, did he look dangerous at the mo, with his piercings, that waist-length sheet of black hair and the wraparound shades he had perched on his aristocratic nose. Dani’s arousal level jacked up a notch every time he so much as looked in her direction. Whenever he touched her, it felt like someone had tripped a mains switch and loaded her with a thousand volts. Course, that didn’t entirely override her fears. She was still looking over her shoulder a hell of a lot in case somebody she knew saw them together.

  Thankfully, Xane showed no signs of pouncing as they sat side by side in the back of the taxi. He looked perfect – icy, more than anything else, as though he’d deliberately locked a mask into place. She knew the truth was that he was far from cold. Given what had gone down the night before, maybe it was a front for the horde of paparazzi that were likely on his tail.