His Christmas Bride

by Lara Van Hulzen

  Lord help her, the thought of no Lucas at all was worse than friendship alone, if only by a little. But she found herself wanting anything he had to offer.

  She nodded. “Of course, we’re friends, Lucas. We’ve always been friends.” Before her mind could stop her mouth she added, “I’ve missed you, too.”

  He grinned wide and pulled her into a hug. Wrapped in his arms, she questioned her sanity. Having Lucas St. Claire back in her life was something she’d wanted for a long time. But friendship alone wasn’t part of her daydreams or fantasies. Her heart broke as she fought back tears. No way would she let him know the depth of her feelings for him. Not now.

  No. She was always good at pushing through things. Moving forward. She would move forward, grateful for Lucas’s friendship while squashing any last hope that he’d ever love her back.

  Before she got too caught up in the warmth of his arms, she stepped back. “We should get to the kitchen.” She started walking again then realized she had no idea where she was going.

  Lucas came beside her and took her hand in his. “This way.” He led them left down another hallway and right before entering the kitchen, letting go of her hand.

  The disconnect mirrored the sense of loss in her heart. Yes, they’d be friends. No, he would never be hers. As she followed him into the room, she mustered up her best smile and faced the music.

  To say the kitchen was enormous was an understatement. It was the kind of thing she’d only seen on television shows, never in real life. An island took up the center of the room, big enough for a grown-up to lie down on it, multiple grown-ups. High, leather barstools, more like chairs, with ornate backs to them, surrounded the island, many of them now filled with the St. Claire family.

  Erin had never met Wes, but had met Noelle a few times when she and Holly had gone out and Erin had picked Holly up at the apartment the sisters had shared. Noelle had also brought Annalise out to ride horses one afternoon. An adorable and precocious child, Erin had fallen in love with her immediately. She hadn’t met Mike or his wife, Franchesca, but guessed who they were since Annalise sat in the woman’s lap as Mike moved her long dark curls aside to rub her shoulders. She turned her head to smile up at him as he leaned down and kissed her cheek.

  Noelle and Holly sat beside one another on barstools, Wes standing behind his wife. He intimidated Erin a little. Perfectly put together with an air of power about him, Lucas’s oldest brother was the epitome of a tycoon. Of course, when they were kids, Lucas used to tell her all about his family and how Wes was being groomed to take over the family business when he was older, but Wes looked as if he’d been born in a suit so the position fit him well. She’d listened as Lucas vented over the expectations placed upon him as a St. Claire. What that meant. How tough it was to grow up in Wes’s shadow.

  She tried not to let any past comments or images taint things before actually meeting anyone, but she’d always been protective of Lucas. It was obvious he loved his family, but struggled a lot of the time to find or understand his place in it.

  “Hey everyone. This is—”

  “Erin!”

  He stopped as McKenna hopped off her barstool and ran toward her. In evaluating the rest of the St. Claires, she’d missed seeing the youngest who’d been sitting and chatting with an older woman who had her silver hair up in a short ponytail and was moving about the kitchen as she talked.

  “I’m so glad you’re here!” McKenna pulled her into a big hug.

  Erin embraced her friend. “It’s so good to see you!”

  Lucas moved around the island and stood with Mike and Franchesca and Annalise. He smiled at her as McKenna pulled her around the other side of the island, their arms looped together.

  McKenna introduced her to everyone then got her settled on one of the barstools. The older woman buzzing around the kitchen was their housekeeper, Glenna. Erin had a vague recollection of Lucas mentioning her before, but she’d never seen the woman or met her.

  Erin saw that her father and Daniel St. Claire were already engrossed in a game of chess at a table in the family room adjacent to the kitchen. Her dad looked relaxed and happy. Although she hated to admit it, coming to the St. Claires was a good idea. Well, for her father anyway.

  She avoided looking at Lucas and focused on her friend who sat beside her and all but bounced in her chair. One thing McKenna St. Claire never lacked was energy. Erin believed her being the youngest of four with all older brothers was a big part of that. She and Lucas had the same coloring. McKenna’s strawberry blond waves were pulled up into a messy bun, a few stray curls framed her face.

  “Catch me up on your life. Tell me everything. Leave nothing out.”

  Erin laughed. The two had remained friends over the years, but McKenna traveled so much, it was tough to nail down a time to actually sit and talk to her, let alone have a phone conversation or even a text. But whenever McKenna breezed through Montana, she’d visit Erin or make sure they at least connected via phone.

  “I’m not sure there’s that much to tell. Why don’t you start? Tell me where you’ve been. Fill me in on all your exciting travels.”

  Erin settled into her seat and sipped water from a glass Glenna had placed in front of her as McKenna talked. She’d heard every word of her friend’s tales of climbing mountains in South America and seeing the tulips bloom in Amsterdam, but she couldn’t keep from stealing glances at Lucas. He was laughing at things his niece was saying, Erin’s heart turning to goo at watching him with the little girl. Why did he have to be so damned perfect? And so not available as more than a friend?

  But as she listened to McKenna and saw how the St. Claire family interacted, she found herself grateful for the invitation to come over, as well as Lucas’s extension of friendship. Even Wes got laughing pretty hard at something Lucas had said and it was obvious in how he looked at Noelle that Lucas’s oldest brother was madly in love with his wife. Franchesca now stood in front of Mike and leaned into him, his arms wrapped around her, holding her close.

  Until that moment, she hadn’t realized how much she longed to be part of a big family. But how could she miss something she’d never had? She was happy at Tanner Ranch with her dad. And she’d made peace with the choices her brother had made with his life. It wasn’t her place to judge or try to control him.

  But the warmth that filled the St. Claire home was palpable. It was nice. And Erin had to tamp down her longing for it. For someone to love and love her back. For family gatherings full of joy. Because she wanted those things with Lucas, and she had to accept that none of those things were going to happen.

  *

  Lucas tried to keep from looking at Erin as she sat and talked to McKenna. Well, McKenna was doing all the talking while Erin listened. In that moment, he envied his sister. She’d been the one to stay connected with Erin all these years. Not to say they were the best of friends, but they were friends, which was more than Lucas could say.

  Sure, Erin had agreed to begin again, allowing him to call her his friend once more, but why did that not feel like enough? He was hearing every word Annalise was saying to him, but with part of his attention on the blue-eyed blonde down the kitchen island from him that he couldn’t keep his eyes from wandering to.

  “Can we have a puppet show before we eat, CeCe?” Annalise had taken to calling Franchesca by a nickname only Franchesca had let her mother call her.

  Wanting to honor Anna’s place in Annalise’s life as her mother, Franchesca thought it a good idea to have the little girl call her CeCe instead of Mom. Lucas chalked it up to yet another reason Franchesca was perfect for Mike and Annalise. She was the nurturing female presence they needed and was respectful of Anna’s place in their lives. With all those two had been through, Lucas adored her for it.

  “Of course we can!” Franchesca walked over to the huge bag she carried as a purse that sat on a chair in the living room. She came back and set up on one side of the island where she could sit on the floor and use the granit
e countertop as her “stage” for the puppets she’d made from old socks and stockings.

  Lucas had learned this was one of Annalise’s favorite things. Having nightmares after her mother’s death, she’d wake screaming. While Mike and Franchesca were dating, Annalise had had an episode while taking a nap one day. Franchesca had pulled out her puppets and from then on, it was what Annalise asked for most. What calmed her.

  Seeing that Erin had the best spot in the kitchen for seeing the puppet show, Lucas’s not-so-shy niece walked right up to her and put her arms up. “Can I sit with you, Airwin?”

  Everyone smiled at the way Annalise said Erin’s name. Lucas wasn’t sure if the child still struggled with pronouncing certain letters, or was aware that her cuteness factor shot through the roof because of it and decided to use it to her advantage. Whatever the reason, it worked.

  “Absolutely!” Erin reached down and pulled Annalise into her lap.

  Everyone turned their attention to the puppet show, but Lucas couldn’t take his eyes off Erin. Her arms were wrapped around Annalise, the little girl snuggled against her. They laughed and smiled together. At one point, Erin placed a kiss on top of Annalise’s head. His heart swelled within his chest.

  Visions of Vanessa stepping away from Annalise and keeping her at arm’s length filled his mind and his gut clenched. He hated comparing the two. It wasn’t fair to either one of them. Vanessa wasn’t around kids much, if at all. Maybe she just needed time to get used to them.

  But to his knowledge, Erin wasn’t around them a lot, either. And there she sat, cuddling and placing soft kisses on his niece as if she’d cared for the child her whole life. Who was he kidding? He didn’t know Erin. Not anymore. But he wanted to.

  The show ended and everyone cheered. Franchesca popped up from behind the island and bowed, the actress that she was on full display. “Thank you. Thank you.” She scooped Annalise out of Erin’s arms and hugged her tight then planted a wet, raspberry of a kiss on her cheek.

  Annalise giggled like crazy. “Stop it, CeCe! Stop it.” Which in her language meant, “More! More!”

  His dad and Clayton had wandered over from their chess game to join the fun, Clayton grinning from ear to ear at the theatrical presentation and joy that always came from it. Lucas was glad to see the man happy. He could only imagine how tough the past few years had been. Erin’s smile made Lucas glad he’d invited them to Thanksgiving dinner. Even more glad they’d accepted. Well, Clayton had. It was obvious Erin had had her doubts over the invite. But now she looked as if she was enjoying herself.

  Glenna let them know dinner was almost ready and to start moving to the dining room. Noelle, Franchesca, and McKenna all followed Glenna to help with last minute preparations. Erin was climbing down off her barstool to follow but stopped when Lucas’s father spoke.

  “Clayton tells me you’re planning on making some decent-sized changes to their property for the wedding, Lucas.”

  “Yes, sir. Well, nothing too major, but we’ll bring in all the labor and have everything delivered that’s needed.”

  His dad nodded. “That’s good. Good. Although I hear the weather is supposed to be quite nice through the weekend. Well, nice for Montana this time of year. Maybe you ought to go out and help get the barn painted and cleaned out. Get out of the office a bit.”

  Lucas could count on one hand the amount of times his father had told him to get out of the office for a bit. But if it meant he would be able to see Erin and hang out on Tanner Ranch more, he wasn’t going to argue. “Sounds good.”

  Erin’s face registered shock, but she recovered before his dad and hers turned her way. She nodded with a forced smile. “Sure. Great.” With a quick turn, she left the room and joined the other women in the dining area.

  Hmmm. She’d agreed to be friends again. Why would she not want him around and helping with the wedding preparations? Lucas scratched his cheek. One more thing to learn about Miss Erin Tanner. He smiled, looking forward to the rest of the holiday weekend.

  Chapter Eleven

  Lucas knocked on the door of Wes’s office. Each St. Claire sibling had their own place to work in the house, Wes using his the most. Mike did more so now that he wasn’t racing anymore, but of all the St. Claires, after their father of course, Wes spent the most time in his office.

  However, if hours were actually clocked, Lucas would be a close second. Sure, not in the same way. Lucas was out and about more, taking meetings and such. He didn’t sit still well. It wasn’t as if he’d stopped working since he’d gotten to Marietta, but the wedding plans were taking up some of his time and, although he was keeping up with his responsibilities at St. Claire Enterprises the pace in Montana was slower. It was a pace he found he enjoyed.

  There were no plans to work today, though. Unless he counted going to Tanner Ranch as work, but he didn’t. Between the fresh air and getting to spend some time with Erin, that would be the furthest thing from work in his mind.

  “Come on in.”

  Lucas entered Wes’s office and took a seat across the desk from his brother. “I’m surprised you aren’t spending the day with your beautiful bride.”

  Wes sat back. He rested his elbows on the arms of his chair and linked his fingers together in front of him. “She’s in Bozeman shopping with Franchesca. They wanted to hit the Black Friday sales.”

  Both men winced at the same time.

  “I’d rather stick a fork in my eye.”

  “I’d rather stick a fork in both eyes,” Wes added.

  Both men laughed. Lucas had to appreciate the irony as well of his sisters-in-law taking the time and energy to fight off Black Friday shopping crowds when they could both afford to buy whatever mall they were shopping in. Vanessa wouldn’t be caught dead in a mall in Bozeman. She preferred designer clothes, many times made for her by the designer.

  Lucas couldn’t fault her for that, or even compare her to Franchesca and Noelle. Each woman had grown up in a different setting, a different way. And yet, it still baffled him that his brothers, especially Wes, hadn’t married high-society women. Lucas had thought for sure Wes was suspicious of every woman who crossed his path.

  “I wanted to talk to you about Vanessa.”

  And there it was. So, his brother was suspicious of every woman. Just more so the woman in Lucas’s life rather than his own. It didn’t surprise him though. He had a sense this conversation was coming. In all honesty, he was shocked it hadn’t happened sooner. His gut told him he had Noelle to thank for that.

  “What about her?”

  Wes leaned forward in his chair again. He moved the computer mouse that sat on his desk and opened a screen. He turned it toward Lucas so he could see it as well. “She comes from a good family.”

  “I could have told you that. In fact, I think I did.” He tried to keep his tone neutral, but his brother’s attitude was beginning to rub Lucas wrong.

  Wes waved a hand at him. “Don’t get your pants in a wad. I was just curious.”

  “Hmmm. I don’t recall doing any background checks on Noelle when she wandered into your life.”

  His comment hit its mark. Wes sat up straighter, his eyes narrow. Lucas could almost see the hairs on the back of his brother’s neck stand on end. “That’s different.”

  “Really? How?”

  “Noelle told me right away of her background. And she wasn’t some woman struggling financially and in need of saving.”

  “Wasn’t her dance studio in trouble and you and Dad stepped in and bought the building it’s in?” He knew better than to push Wes this way, but he was getting tired of having more than one parent always looking over his shoulder.

  In fact, their own father didn’t micromanage Lucas’s life the way Wes did. His dad got in his dish sometimes, but otherwise let Lucas live his life. Why Wes always seemed to feel the need to babysit Lucas, he hadn’t a clue.

  Wes stood and walked to the window. He dug his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. Even during a holiday
weekend, the man dressed for the boardroom. Lucas had seen how Noelle had softened Wes, but there were spots on that leopard even Noelle couldn’t change.

  With palpable tension in the room, Lucas was aware his brother was taking a minute to calm down before responding.

  “I can see where you would get the impression that I don’t trust you and this decision. But that’s not why I looked up Vanessa.” He faced Lucas. Leaning against the windowsill, he crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Although you tend to not want to believe it, I care about you.”

  Lucas had to sit back in his chair for that one. His brother was a good man. He’d been a typical older brother in the sense that they knocked each other around sometimes, teased one another mercilessly. But close to never had he told Lucas how he felt about him. Score another point for Noelle.

  “Okay. If you care about me, then why can’t you trust me?”

  Wes shook his head. “You’ve got it backward. It’s the rest of the world I don’t trust.”

  Lucas nodded. That was fair. The St. Claires had grown up in a world unlike most. Wealth did funny things to people. Made them treat him different. Although Lucas didn’t move through life as cautiously as his brother did about other people’s motives, he saw that because Wes did so, the family had stayed protected from being taken advantage of. Wed did have a weird sixth sense about people.

  Lucas leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. “Look, Wes. I appreciate you looking out for me. I do. But Vanessa has no reason to be with me for our money. She grew up in a family not unlike ours.”

  Wes pushed away from the windowsill and sat back down behind his desk again. “Well…”

  “Okay. Not quite the amount of money we have, but she’s not a gold digger. I can promise you that.”

  Wes ran a hand down his face. “I’m just trying to look out for you.”

  Lucas wanted to tell him there was no need. Yes, his brother cared about him, but his comment meant the same as what Mike had said. None of them trusted that this wasn’t just another fly-by-night decision.