Wounds That Won’t Heal

by Calle J. Brookes

  He could probably easily lift Jillian one-handed. Yet Jillian wasn't afraid to stand up to him. And he hadn’t ever hurt Jillian, just dumped ice water on her head. Jillian had said herself she’d probably half deserved that.

  So why was Ari so freaked over him? She didn't know, but she was. Jillian greeted her, and Ari focused on her friend, instead of the brother walking almost too closely behind Jillian. Rafe was enough to make her want to stop looking for her birth siblings altogether. She’d tried to convince Simon of that, but he was determined.

  Said they all deserved to know the truth.

  A thirteen-year-old was far braver than she was. Pitiful. She’d been such a coward since Justin Albright had nearly killed her. Ari knew it, but didn’t have a clue how to fix it.

  "He's getting so big," Jillian said, eyes on Mikey with that look Ari recognized. "Oh, Ari, he looks just like you. He's beautiful."

  "Lacy’s cuddling Malcolm inside. Maddie’s inside, too."

  "Ariella, how are you this morning?" Rafe asked. Ari looked at him dead on. Yes, he frightened her, but she was never going to let him know that. Ari was tired of being afraid all the time. She’d made a few decisions over the past month. One of those decisions was that there would be no more letting anyone scare her.

  This was her brother, just like Simon and Luc and the three half-brothers who she had been there with the moment they’d been born. Brothers. She wasn’t going to be afraid of this one. Period.

  "I'm doing fine, doctor…Rafe. How are you today?" She knew her words were stilted, but she hadn't forgotten how he had treated Jillian since they had first met. They might share biology, but Jillian would always have her first loyalty. She didn’t choose him as a brother, after all. She didn’t have to like him. "Your brother Travis is inside. There are a lot of people inside today. My sister and brothers are in there, too."

  "So why are you and Mikey outside?” Jillian asked.

  "It was too noisy for Mikey inside so I told Paige I would walk him around a bit while she deals with Simon. He’s missed her. Carrie and Payton and Mel and the others are all in the kitchen. I was wondering where you were." She studied her friend's face carefully. Jillian didn't look upset. Neither did he. Mikey fussed in her arms, then cooed. Jillian's attention was immediately snagged. Ari knew what her friend wanted; she handed the baby over and Jillian snuggled him close.

  Rafe watched, but he didn't say anything.

  Jillian looked at the man. "Rafe, I'd like you to meet Kenneth Michael Brockman, Ari's nephew." Jillian left unstated that the baby was just as much Rafe's nephew as he was Ari's.

  The man shocked Ari when he reached down and tickled Mikey's toes. Rafe smiled, looking quite a bit like Luc at that moment. "He's a beautiful baby. And he does look like you."

  And he looked just like the uncle the baby was staring at. Probably even more so than he did his own mother. Ari tried not to stare for a moment as that sank in, but it was true. Mikey did look like Rafe. A lot.

  Jillian led the way inside the Beck household where Ari's sister and two other brothers already waited.

  61

  Well, it looked like it was up to her to do the introductions. Jillian wasn't certain exactly how to handle it.

  Her home was filled with people everywhere. A good deal of them looked like her, but a good deal of them also looked like him.

  She snuggled the little boy in her arms, breathing in his soft baby scent. Mikey giggled. He grabbed her hair in one tiny fist and tried to put it in his mouth.

  Rafe's fingers gently extracted the red. Mikey smiled right at her again, and that's when it hit her. The beautiful baby in her arms had the exact same smile as his uncle.

  It was like she was holding a miniature Rafael Holden-Deane in her arms.

  Genetics again. She had a sneaking suspicion that the boy would one day grow up to look just like the man. He might be just as big—his father was a big man just like Rafe.

  It was funny how DNA worked.

  Mikey's mother smiled at her from across the room. "It's the red hair, Jilly. He goes nuts over Carrie's every time, as well."

  "Paige, Payton, how are you?”

  Rafe's sister and sister-in-law answered, and then looked at the man next to her. Expectantly.

  Jillian figured it was probably best to just yank the bandage off the wound and get it over with. "Everyone, this is Marcus’ and Travis’ brother, Dr. Rafael Holden-Deane. He's also mine and Lacy's boss at the hospital. Houghton is his new landlord. Rafe, there are far too many people in here to tell you who's who. You’ll just have to figure them all out later."

  "He's our brother, too," Simon said from somewhere next to his adoptive father. "Why should we not just say it?"

  "Yes, he is one of the sons of Denise Daviess. Rather hard to miss, isn't it?" A slightly hostile voice said to her left.

  Jillian turned, and there was the eldest Daviess brother. He was equally as tall as Rafe, but his skin was several shades darker. He was also built lean—but muscled—like his youngest brother. He looked very much like his siblings, and was gorgeous enough to stop female traffic everywhere.

  She’d always had a thing for Luc. Mostly for the kind way he’d treated her family, but also for the brown eyes.

  The eyes were the same on every Daviess. Even on the baby one she still held. Anyone looking at Rafe and Luc—and Simon, Ari, and Paige—side-by-side would immediately know they were related, just like anyone looking at Carrie, Brynna, Syd, and Mel side-by-side would know they were related. The four of them resembled each other more than Jillian resembled her sisters. She looked far more like their mother than the others. But there was no denying that she and her sisters were related. Just like there was no denying that Rafe was a Daviess…

  At least his DNA was.

  There was a commotion at the door and two small bodies hurled themselves into the room. It was enough to get the attention off of Rafe and onto the two children. "Uncle Rafe! Uncle Rafe! You’re here!"

  Katie and Isaac had arrived. Rafe laughed and bent down. He scooped the two children into his arms and lifted, with them clinging to his neck. He looked far too perfect holding them.

  Jillian's arms tightened around the baby in her own.

  Thank heavens, Marcus and his children had arrived when they had. It was the excuse the people in the living room needed to continue on with their day. Awkward introduction aside.

  They had all survived. They knew who he was and he knew who they were. It was up to them to figure it out between them.

  Jillian handed the baby back to Ari, and slipped into the kitchen to help Mel and Syd get things ready for the cookout. It was her house now—well, hers, her father’s, and Syd’s, but Jillian was in charge of the kitchen. And that meant she had far too many things to do to waste time feeling almost protective over Rafael Holden-Deane.

  62

  He survived. While it wasn't the most awkward day in his life, it wasn't one of the most enjoyable, either. His brothers were there, and he easily sensed that they were sticking close to provide support. Support that he honestly didn't need. Appreciated, but didn’t need. Marcus and Travis would always have his back and Rafe loved them for it.

  Denise Daviess’ children were just people. Yes, they shared biology. That no one could deny.

  For some reason, he hadn't expected them to look so much like him. Even though he had seen Ariella and the young boy. There was no denying that Simon looked like him, though he was built like the rest of them—tall and skinny. The boy wasn’t that much shorter than Ariella.

  It had always bothered Rafe that he didn’t look like Travis and Marcus. And even like his cousins.

  But to look so much like these people was disconcerting.

  And it made him feel almost disloyal to the brothers who loved him that he was almost curious about what else he and his biological half-siblings had in common.

  63

  The eldest sister had taken a moment to quietly introduce herself and let
him know that whatever connection he wanted to have with them was entirely up to him. She hoped he would respect the fact that Lacy was close to their family in a lot of ways. And that he would do nothing to hurt Ariella or Lacy… Or Jillian. Who Paige considered almost like another younger sister.

  Rafe had reassured her, this sister that was only a few years older than Ari. She had a beautiful smile, the same one shared by Ariella, but there was a world of hard knocks in this woman's eyes. Until she looked at her husband, and her sons. She loved her family, and they loved her.

  Her husband was a big guy the same size as Rafe. He did a lot of glowering at everyone, including Rafe. Rafe had fought the urge to just glower back. On principle alone.

  He actually liked Simon, which was saying a lot, as thirteen-year-old boys could be little assholes in every way and shape manageable. But Simon was a good kid, respectful and intelligent. His niece Katie had a very obvious crush on the boy. To his credit, Simon didn't seem to mind. And Simon was really great with his infant brother.

  Ari's sister-in-law was a thin blonde woman with glasses and a sweet demeanor. Her stomach was gently rounded, hinting that she was close to midway through her pregnancy. Rafe really liked her. She was calm and quiet, but she showed no compunction of telling her husband what she thought when he needed it.

  It was her husband that Rafe was probably going to have the biggest problem with.

  If he hadn't wanted a thirteen-year-old boy for a brother, there was no way in hell he wanted another brother near his own age. Davis Lucas, billionaire tech creator, eyed Rafe every time he got too close; like Rafe was a rattlesnake just ready to pounce.

  He trusted Rafe no more than Rafe trusted him. Rafe was fine with that. They’d just leave things alone.

  When not trying to avoid his unwanted siblings, or visiting with his chosen siblings, Rafe found himself watching his favorite she-devil.

  She wasn't the loudest or most exuberant of her sisters. Her sister Mel was most definitely in charge; Brynna seem to be the most dramatic. The eldest sister Carrie was the quietest, and seemed to spend most of her time visiting with her father and watching her two young children. Her husband was nearly as tall as Rafe, and was probably close to forty. He adored his wife, that was more than obvious.

  There was a lot of that going around.

  They all adored Jillian. She was the one who was busy helping everyone else. She made certain her sister had what she needed for her two children, she helped Brynna focus on the tasks in front of her, she helped Mel with the lifting and just anything in general that her partially paralyzed sister couldn’t manage, and she helped organize everyone and kept the day flowing.

  Calm quiet competence with a touch of snark, that was Jillian Beck. She drew him, even when he tried to resist.

  Jillian knew her place in her family. And Rafe envied her that. More than he ever would have realized before.

  He almost felt like he had two families and he didn’t know where he fit within either.

  64

  After the large sprawling buffet-style lunch was over, the entire Beck family and company settled around the back deck just to talk and be with each other. Rafe had gotten over some of his awkwardness.

  He found himself sitting between Travis and Jillian—Jillian, who smelled a hell of a lot better than his brother.

  Travis had Lacy snuggled on his lap. Rafe had somehow ended up directly next to them, with Jillian stuck between him and the edge of the outdoor couch.

  If he shifted just a little to the left, he would be closer to her than Lacy was to his brother. Which was saying something, as the two of them looked like an amorphous blob, they were so close.

  Rafe definitely found the she-devil distracting. Extremely distracting.

  "Well, are we ready?" Barratt's wife asked, looking around expectantly.

  “For what, Mel?” Jillian asked. She shifted closer to him. Rafe fought tensing. He wanted her to push closer, then closer still. Until she was as close to him as Lacy was to his brother.

  "The real reason we’re here tonight," her eldest sister said. Rafe could easily see Jillian's confusion on her pretty face. When had he turned to look at her? When had everyone else?

  "What are you talking about?” Jillian asked as her sister waved toward the kitchen.

  The sliding glass doors opened; Rafe was surprised to see Wanda, Annie, Izzie, and Fin standing there. With a large cake and balloons.

  “We’re here to celebrate,” Fin said. They brought the cake into the light a little more. Rafe read what was written in bold red icing across the front of it. Congratulations Nurse Jillian!

  Jillian's father pulled his daughter from the couch and hugged her quickly. “We didn’t forget.”

  “Daddy?”

  "We know you worked hard all these years. We also know why you didn't mention it. So this is our way of saying how proud we are of you and that we hope that FCGH understands just exactly how wonderful you are. I am so proud of you, sweetheart." Her father lifted her off her feet and hugged her. Then handed her off to her St. Louis brother-in-law—who gave her to that damned Luc.

  Rafe watched as she was handed back and forth amongst her family for hugs and congratulations. He looked over at Lacy.

  "It took Jillian a while longer to get her certifications than she had planned. Because of everything that had happened the last two years. Mel being shot, Ari being shot, Brynna being attacked. It was Jillian who put her plans on hold to get the rest of her family through. She hadn't bothered to tell anyone that she received her certifications last week. She’s officially an RN now."

  Rafe knew exactly how big of a deal it was for her. He watched her as the ones who loved her showed her just how much she meant to them.

  65

  It had been a good night, Jillian thought as she, Carrie, Paige, and Ariella cleaned up the kitchen after everyone else had left. They worked in companionable silence for a while.

  Lacy was already gone; Travis had scooped her up the moment he thought she looked too tired and taken her back to his ranch.

  Payton and Luc had left when Mel had; they were going to stay with the Barratts, Simon as well—to hang out with Syd in Houghton’s playrooms. Carrie’s family was taking one guest room, Paige and her husband the other.

  It was nice to have a house full of people again.

  The governor was still there.

  So was Rafe.

  She’d honestly expected him to slip away at the first available opportunity, but he hadn't. She half suspected it was because of his niece and nephew. It was clear that they adored him, and he returned the affection. At one point, even Maddie had toddled over to him and demanded he hold her.

  He had. Her niece was very skilled at getting what she wanted. It had still disconcerted Jillian to see him cuddling her sister's baby so closely. He’d thought nothing of holding Sara Anne every opportunity he could get.

  Of course it shouldn’t surprise her that he liked children, should it? The man had been a pediatric surgeon before taking the Chief of Medicine position. It was just having him in her space that seemed so odd.

  Jillian found herself sneaking quick little peeks at the man.

  She had just glanced over at him for the fifteenth time in two minutes when she looked back at the other women surrounding her. Paige and Ari were staring at her. Carrie was calmly loading the dishwasher. "What?"

  "You're staring at him," Paige said. "Any particular reason why?"

  "The governor’s a very pretty man. There have been lots of pretty men for me to look at tonight. What can a girl do?" She wasn’t about to let them razz her, though she’d certainly been razzed before. She was used to it—she had four sisters, after all. Plus Ari, Lacy, and Paige, who were just as close.

  "I don't think it's the governor you're looking at," Carrie said. "But we’ll let you pretend. If you want to."

  "Shut up. All of you. Ari, be careful with that." Jillian took the sharp knife away from Ari, both to distract h
er family—and because it was Ari and a knife. She loved her friend, of course she did, but there was no denying the fact that Ari—as graceful as she was—was still a bit of a klutz around household items. "I'll handle the knives, please."

  "You know, I'm not helpless," Ari said. She ruined the indignation by fumbling the stack of dirty forks next. A dozen hit the floor. "Okay, I see your point. No more letting Ari play in the kitchen."

  Paige helped her pick up the mess quickly. The eldest Daviess daughter smirked over at Jillian. "He reminds me of someone. And I don't mean Luc."

  Jillian knew what she meant. Paige’s husband was very much like Rafe. She waved a hand dismissively. "It's just the size. He's built like Texas. Bigger than everything else. And the crankiness. Although I think Holden-Deane's worse than Mick ever was. I’m just his favorite target. At least, I was. Lacy and I had more than a dozen arguments with him—each—per week until she was hurt. He’s mellowed since then."

  "I see," Paige said, wincing. "Then you have my sympathies."

  Ari looked over at her half-brother. "He's leaving. One of us should say something to him. To be polite. And it’s not my house."

  "I don't know him well enough," Paige said. “I think Jillian should do it."

  "I get enough of him at work."

  Still, technically as the eldest sister still in residence, it was her job to make every guest feel welcome. To be honest, Rafe had behaved himself. In some pretty awkward circumstances. She had to give him that. They had declared a truce, after all.

  Someone nudged her elbow and she looked over, into Carrie’s light brown eyes. Her sister smiled, an expression that was a dead-on match to Mel's. It still disconcerted her at times, how much Carrie just seemed to fit with their family. Jillian wished they’d had her longer. "A plate of leftovers. Mel made them before she left. Why don't you give them to him? It would be the polite thing to do."