Shelter from the Storm

by Molly Wens

  "Yes, but what's that got to do with it?"

  "You said that you wished you had the courage to give her something to make her sleep and never wake up, to end her pain, remember?"

  Alice's eyes misted over for a moment as she remembered how terrible those last days of her mother's life had been. “Yes, I remember. I can't believe you brought that up."

  "I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to upset you. Bryce did have the courage. His wife was in horrible pain. There was no way she was going to survive her injuries. She could barely speak but she begged him to make the pain go away. He did what he had to do to release her from it. It haunts him. He has terrible nightmares about it."

  Alice leaned away from her daughter, eyeing her as if trying to see into her mind. “You're in love with him!” she exclaimed.

  Tears welled and Carissa struggled to fight them back. “Am I that transparent?"

  "Well? Where is he?” Alice said, ignoring the younger woman's question. “Shouldn't he be here with you?” She was silent for a moment before continuing. “Or doesn't he feel the same about you?"

  "I don't know, Mom,” she answered, misery evident in the catch in her voice. “I think he cares, just not enough to get him off that damned mountain. I think, after the accident, people treated him so badly that he just ran away from it all, took up residence in the middle of nowhere and refuses to come back down. He wanted me to stay."

  "That's just ridiculous! Is he nuts? What did he expect you to do, just forget your kids and your life here? I don't think I like him and I haven't even met the idiot. If he was willing to just let you go then he's not worth his salt."

  Carissa opened her mouth to respond but Alice's cell phone chirped loudly, signaling Melissa's call. Carissa took it from her mother's hand, spoke briefly and then called her children to her. “Time to go home. Everyone into the car, let's go. We have to hurry."

  Greg opened the door for the little group, telling Carissa that he would take the back way to her home so that no one would see them. The two women thanked him, riding to the house in silence. As they pulled up they saw Melissa waiting impatiently by the front door, fairly dancing in place when she saw the car. Before the vehicle had stopped, Carissa's friend was jerking on the door handle trying to get the limo open.

  Melissa hugged each of them as they stepped from the vehicle, wrapping her arms around Carissa a second time before she was done. “I was so thrilled when I heard you were all right and on your way home. We thought we'd lost you."

  Carissa presented her friend with a teary smile. “It was a long haul but it feels good to be home."

  "Let's get inside, girls, before those reporter-fools come back,” Alice instructed. She turned to the driver and handed him two twenty-dollar bills. “Greg, you've been wonderful. Thank you so much for all your help."

  The driver thanked her, adding, “Any time you ladies need another run around town you just give me a call.” He tossed an informal salute at Carissa before getting back behind the wheel.

  Alice hustled the little party into the house, instructing the children to take their coats to their bedrooms. “I'm glad I got the chance to move in here before you got home, Carissa. Two month's worth of dust had collected on everything. I got all the bed linens changed and did the little bit of laundry that was left from when you...” her voice trailed off as if just mentioning the incident that took her child away would bring bad fortune.

  "Oh, Mom, you shouldn't have. No wonder you look so tired. You shouldn't have worn yourself out that way.” Carissa was touched by her mother's efforts and hugged her again.

  "Nonsense,” Alice retorted. “I needed to keep busy. Besides I made your aunts come help me."

  Carissa giggled at the thought of her many aunts bossing and tripping over each other as they took over her home. She inhaled deeply of the familiar fragrance of the house, noting the added aromas of flowers and scented candles. It only took a moment for her to jog out of the foyer and into her living room, gasping at the abundance of floral arrangements and other gifts that were placed throughout the homey room.

  "My God!” she exclaimed. “What a welcome. Where did all these come from?"

  "It seems, my girl,” Alice answered with a chuckle, “that you have a great many friends and admirers. Some of the things are from the family but the rest started to arrive within hours after your rescue hit the news. There were quite a few balloon bouquets as well, but the kids had a good time with them."

  "Oh, I'm home!” Carissa squealed as she hugged her mother. “I want a hot bath, my couch and some cocoa, in that order."

  "Do you want my bubbly stuff?” Carissa's four-year old daughter asked as she tugged on her mommy's sweater. “I gots lots."

  The women laughed together as Carissa bent to pick Sheanna up and fell to the floor when her son tackled her. Melissa stepped away from the joyous roughhousing to close the curtains and blinds throughout the house—just in case, as she put it.

  "I'll put some cocoa on,” Alice said merrily.

  "I want cocoa,” six-year old Zane cheeped as he ran after his grandmother.

  "Carissa, I'm gonna get going,” Melissa smiled. “How about if I give you a call tomorrow? Maybe we can get together for lunch if everything settles down next week."

  "You don't need to rush off, Miss. I just got home,” Carissa said as she hugged her daughter on the floor.

  "Exactly. You need time with your family. But as soon as you get settled in I want to hear all about this dangerous, dark man that you've been stranded with,” Melissa said with a wink. “He sounds like a dream.” She walked back out the door with a knowing smirk on her face, reminding Carissa to lock up.

  Alice walked into the living room to see Carissa flop down on the couch. “Go get your bath,” she said to her daughter. “Then we'll sit down and have a nice long talk while the roast heats in the oven. I think you have a lot to tell me."

  Carissa felt uncomfortable under her mother's appraising gaze. It was as if she had just been transported back to her childhood, her mother eyeing her, knowing that she had gotten into the cookie jar.

  "Yes, Mom,” she said as she slumped off to the bathroom.

  Once alone behind the closed door of the little room, Carissa felt a sudden melancholy as she remembered bathing in the old copper tub before the pot-bellied stove in Bryce's cabin, his hands tangled gently in her soapy hair. She turned on the water with a sigh, wondering how he was doing and if he thought of her. Depression seemed to seep into her very bones, causing an ache that would remain with her for some time to come.

  * * * *

  Bryce was out of the cabin before the black night sky had lightened to a stormy gray. He had secured the rifle in the ancient safe at the back of the closet, taking the shotgun with him. He had bolted all the shutters and affixed the steel-barred grating over the outside door, not knowing how long he would be gone and not wanting anyone or anything to gain entrance to his home. Satisfied that the structure had been safeguarded against intrusion, he started out on his journey, a dark scowl on his bearded face and Skoll in tow.

  The wind whipped at him, causing him to cover the exposed areas of his skin more firmly. Each stinging crystal of ice that found its way through the protective covering only reminded him that he was determined to brave the very fires of hell, if need be, to find Carissa and confront her for what she was trying to do to him. She would pay, he decided, as he staggered through the raging storm; he would see to it.

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  Chapter 17

  It did not put out the same amount of warmth as the fire on the hearth in Bryce's cabin, but Carissa decided that her little fireplace, blazing happily in her spacious living room, was more than adequate. She lounged on her soft couch, a cup of morning tea in her hand, listening to the argument in the next room. Her cat, Blondie, had decided to curl up on the cushion next to her—as happy as the rest of the family to have her home. He had slept curled up next to her head all night, claiming
that spot on her pillow since the children had claimed the positions at her sides. They had slept as one happy family on the same bed, crowded together and wonderfully at peace.

  She burst into peals of laughter as a naked little girl streaked through the room with Alice in hot pursuit, demanding that the child stop. Sheanna squealed, her childish giggle drifting as music to Carissa's ears from where Alice had her cornered in the kitchen.

  "Zane, you better hurry up, young man. The bus will be here soon,” Alice called down the hall to the boy just as the girl escaped again.

  Carissa listened to the tune of the morning without lifting a finger to help—as Alice had insisted. Her mother had heard her earlier, in the bathroom, vomiting pitifully, and had sentenced her to a morning on the couch after her first night home. The younger woman smiled again as she took another sip of tea and pulled the cotton throw a little higher up her body, enjoying the luxury of the moment.

  She snuggled deeper into her warm robe, feeling privileged to be back in her own clothing. Her smile faded, however, as she caught the delicate fragrance of the aromatic sachet that perfumed the contents of her closet. The garment held none of the woodsy aroma of the mountain cabin, none of redolence of Bryce, or his musky scent that clung to the clothing she had worn there. She pushed the collar away from her nose and focused on the squeals and giggles of her two children.

  Alice continued to bark orders at the two excited, happy children as she tried to coerce them into getting ready for the school bus that would carry them out of their little subdivision. Zane was in first grade, a little demon with letters and numbers and excelling in the social skills that would serve him well in his bright future. Sheanna was in pre-kindergarten, a creative child being prepared for the years of school that were ahead. It was wonderful to be home again to see the joy sparkling in their bright eyes as they made ready to face the new day. The children were wrestled into clothing, fed and sent out the door as the bus pulled to a stop in front of the house.

  Exhausted by the ordeal, Alice flopped down into the easy chair next to the sofa. “Those kids wear me out,” she laughed. “I don't remember you being that rambunctious when you were little."

  "Sure, I was, Mom. It's just been a few years.” Carissa grinned at her mother as the older woman bristled at the reminder of her age.

  "Are you telling me that I'm old?"

  Carissa refused to answer, grinning into her mug of tea, pretending she had not heard. They sat in silence, tension building in the air of the still room as both thought about the talk that was ahead. She had managed to hold her mother off the night before, stating that she was too tired from her trip to focus properly, but she knew that Alice would not be diverted much longer. Still, she nearly choked on her tea when her mother finally spoke.

  "It will be nice to have another grandchild,” Alice simply stated.

  Sputtering on the sip she had just taken, Carissa managed to swallow before turning to face her mother. “How did you know?” she demanded. She had not told anyone except for Bryce, but that had been in a note high up on a mountain along with the man for whom it had been left.

  "It's as plain as the nose on your face. Anyone with a brain can see you're pregnant. I assume that it was Bryce and not those two horrible..."

  Carissa cut her off before she could finish the nasty thought. “It's Bryce's! Those two assholes didn't get that far before I got away."

  "Well, that's a relief. So, what now? What was his excuse for not facing his responsibility?"

  "He didn't give me one,” Carissa sighed, reaching out to set her teacup down. “I didn't exactly get a chance to tell him. By the time I figured it out, he was gone. Told me he was going hunting, the big liar. The next thing I know, Dudley Do-Right shows up to whisk me away."

  "You mean to tell me, Carissa Jane, that he doesn't know he's about to become a father?” The expression on Alice's face reminded her daughter of the one time she was caught in a lie and punished for her transgression as a child.

  "I wouldn't exactly say that, Mom. I left him a note. It was all I could do."

  "Good Lord! That poor man! To find out in a note..."

  "What would you have me do, Mother? It's not like the FTD guy makes house calls up there. He's the one who left without so much as a ‘kiss-my-ass'. There's no mail, no phone—hell, there isn't even electricity."

  "Just what kind of place is it?” Alice's bewilderment was evident in the squeak of her voice.

  "It's a frozen step back in time. He cooks on a wood-burner, heats with a fireplace and reads by oil lamp. He eats what he kills and gets supplies twice a year from some old codger, and that old codger is the only one who ever sees him. He hides up there like the world is out to get him."

  "Well, maybe you're just better off without him then. You don't need a man who isn't even strong enough to face his responsibilities. What you need is a man that will take care of you."

  Alice's words hit Carissa hard, wrenching a sob from her throat. “I love him, Mom! What am I going to do?” She covered her face with her hands, the tears flowing between her fingers to fall on her robe. “He's a good man,” she sobbed. “I know, I felt it.” She was not sure if she was defending him to her mother, or to herself.

  Alice watched her daughter's heart breaking and wanted to twist the life out of the man who had caused such pain. That any man, no matter what his circumstances, would shirk his responsibilities was bad enough, but to cause her daughter such injury was going too far. If she ever got her hands on Bryce Matheney, whoever he was, she was going to tear him limb from limb. For now, all she could do was wrap her arms around her aching child and pray that the girl found some way to get past the loss she had suffered. She had to shore up her daughter's spine, help her find her strength again.

  "You're not Luke Skywalker trying to pull Darth Vader back from the dark side of the force, Carissa. Some people just can't be saved, and all you can do is try to go on."

  "I thought that once he read the note he would come to me, get off that damned mountain. Even if he didn't want me anymore, I thought he would want his baby, but he didn't,” Carissa sniffed loudly. “He doesn't want me. He doesn't want the baby. He told me he loved me and I believed him. It was all a lie. He's just like all the other men I've ever met. He loves me as long as I give him what he wants and do things his way. What's wrong with me?"

  "There's nothing wrong with you!” Alice took her daughter's weepy face between her hands. “I never want to hear such talk again. Now you go in the bathroom and wash your face and we'll see if we can come up with some sort of plan to get your life back on track.” When Carissa hesitated, Alice took on the bossy tone that only a mother can achieve. “Get moving, young lady. March!"

  Carissa had to smile despite herself; no matter what, her mother would be her mother—something in which she could find comfort. She did as she was told, walked into the bathroom, switching on the light to stare at the reflection that gazed back at her in the mirror above the sink. Thoughts of Bryce, his hands on her body, his lips touching hers, filled her aching mind. Shutting her eyes tightly against the vicious pang of loneliness that swamped her, she held her breath, waiting for it to pass.

  When next she opened her eyes, her heart nearly froze. Standing behind her, in the mirror, was Bryce, his dark eyes glittering hotly as he gazed back at her, his face once again wreathed in a shaggy beard. She blinked several times before whirling round to throw her arms about him, only to discover he was not there. His presence had been an illusion, a trick her lonesome mind had played upon her raw heart. There was nothing left but to hang her head and cry again, the desolate sobs drawing the strength from her limbs until she slumped to the floor to vent her anguish.

  * * * *

  The man stepped off the road into the thick layer of dingy slush that covered the shoulder. It was a reaction to the raucous blasting of an SUV's horn as the vehicle flew by, spewing salty muck over the weary traveler and his four-legged companion. He was well aware of
the spectacle he created: a giant of a man, shaggy and unkempt, in full pack gear, carrying a weapon, with a giant of a dog, sauntering along beside him. His only hope was that no one would recognize him; no one would approach him as he made his way along the last leg of his journey back to civilization. Keeping his hood pulled up around his face, he avoided eye contact with any passers-by.

  Bryce walked with a grave determination, his eyes glittering like black star sapphires in the pale gray daylight. He dreaded the thought of how people would perceive him if he should happen to meet anyone before he reached his destination. He dreaded it as he would a trip to hell, though that was where he'd been since he started this trip back to civilization. It seemed like a lifetime had passed since he had been around the mechanized world of humans, and he wasn't enjoying the view.

  Skoll pranced nervously alongside, looking to his master for reassurance in this unfamiliar environment, but Bryce had little to offer. The man's steely resolve kept him from turning back around, to return to his home and never look back. He hated the sounds and the smells, hated the dread that hovered over him, a noxious vapor that cast an invisible pall over his thoughts. He had been a fool to pull the half-dead woman out of that snowdrift, a fool to let her slither into his heart the way she had. He was a bigger fool for letting her walk out of his life—for sending her away to have his baby on her own.

  How could you know? he asked himself. The answer was that he should have known; it was the natural order of things. Having sex, unprotected, with the enthusiasm and frequency of teenagers, for as many weeks as they had, should have been a clue. However, he had not been thinking with his brain during that time, and now he was faced with the reality of the situation. He was going to be a father and no one was going to raise his kid but him. Carissa could be damned to hell, for all he cared, if she thought that he would just stand back and let her do what she had said in her note.