The Little Cottage in the Country

by Lottie Phillips

  ‘Uh, no, Mum. It’s actually a Saturday.’

  Half an hour later, Anna had pulled on her jeans, jumper and trainers and was standing at the door, preparing herself to be dumped.

  ‘This is why I don’t do this.’

  ‘What?’ Diane said.

  ‘This whole falling in love thing. It’s too dangerous. It should come with a medical warning.’

  ‘But he loves you, I know it. He wouldn’t have come over yesterday like a knight in shining armour if he didn’t love you.’

  ‘I can’t just trot up to Ridley Manor and go, “Hey, Lady S, you remember me? Well, yesterday, your son… oh sorry, to clarify, your real son… declared his undying love for me and now I find out he’s getting married to someone called Arabella and she’s a lady, whereas I’m just some single mum with two children.”‘

  ‘Sounds good to me so far.’ Diane nodded slowly.

  ‘Then what do I say when she asks what I can give her son?’ Anna paused, placing her finger on her chin. ‘Do I say, “Well, Mrs S, what I can offer your son is two more children because one’s never enough, is it? Oh, and I know how to make a mean Bloody Mary and, sometimes, I manage to not burn the chicken nuggets and ensure my children get an early night.”’

  Diane held out her hand and pressed down her thumb. ‘Uh, missus, you’ve forgotten you’re actually bloody funny. Well, when you’re drunk or… No, just when you’re drunk.’ Diane worked her way through her fingers. ‘That you’re actually a very caring mum, and who cares if you sometimes forget to pick the twins up on time from school or feed them? Or remember to check they’ve done their homework?’ She nodded. ‘Right, number three, you own a onesie.’

  ‘Is that something to show off about?’

  ‘You think Lady S doesn’t secretly want to flounce about Ridley Manor in a onesie?’ Diane nodded firmly. ‘Yeah, she does, my friend.’ She paused. ‘Where was I? OK, four, you don’t snore unless you’ve had too much to drink. Five, you once had a toned bottom.’

  ‘Thanks, Dee. I feel heaps better now,’ Anna said, looking behind her.

  ‘Six, you can do “little box, big box” when we go out clubbing and not look ironic.’ She smiled. ‘Seven, you own a matching set of underwear.’

  ‘I never wear them together, though.’

  ‘Who cares? At least, you own them.’ Diane grinned. ‘Eight, you don’t diet. Or you try, and miserably fail every time, but the point is you try.’

  ‘Again, thanks, Dee.’

  ‘No, I’m saying this makes you human.’

  ‘Oh, jolly good.’ Anna started to open the door. ‘Look, I’ve got to go, good as this pep talk has been.’

  ‘Nine,’ Diane continued regardless, ‘you can make a farting noise under your armpit.’

  ‘Only when drunk,’ Anna said.

  ‘True. In fact, you work best drunk.’ Diane nodded, coming up behind her and hugging her around the waist. ‘Oh yeah, number ten, you’re actually just a pretty marvellous human bean and that should be enough for anyone.’

  Anna turned, a lump rising in her throat. ‘Oh God,’ she wiped under her eyes, ‘don’t get me started. I’m already an emotional wreck.’

  Diane pushed her gently. ‘Go on. Sock it to Horatio and, actually, on reflection, just try and avoid seeing Lady S altogether, but if you do, start on the sherry, and show her your farting armpit trick.’

  Anna took a deep breath, threw back her shoulders and made her way to her car. She drove fast to Ridley Manor. Glancing at the clock, she knew she had fifteen minutes to give Horatio a piece of her mind if she was going to hit the M4 and arrive in London before rush hour and in time for her meeting with the estate agent.

  She glimpsed her reflection in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were puffy from crying, she hadn’t bothered with make-up and her hair was standing on end from static. As she arrived at Ridley Manor’s gates, she decided it was pointless. What was she hoping to achieve? She had seen the photo of Horatio. There was nothing more to be said.

  Anna put the car into reverse and, as she started to move off, spotted Lady Spencerville and Horatio roaming the grounds talking, as Lady Spencerville cut roses and dropped them into a wicker basket. Anna slammed on the brakes. Anger coursed through her body as she watched the happy, carefree scene in her mirror. She climbed out of her car, banged the door shut and strode over. Once she was almost on top of them they looked up at her, surprised.

  ‘Miss Compton,’ Lady Spencerville said coolly. ‘We weren’t expecting you.’

  ‘No, I thought I’d pop in and say hello. Oh, and demand to know why your son here declared his undying love for me yesterday and today I find a photo of him in a newspaper talking about his upcoming marriage plans.’ Anna threw her hands in the air. ‘You weren’t expecting me, Lady S and Mr Horatio, but I thought it best to get this out in the open.’

  Horatio’s face fell. ‘You saw that photo?’

  ‘What? You thought you’d hide that from me, did you, Mr Horatio? Hoped I wouldn’t find out about Lady Arabella? Thought you’d have the best of both worlds?’ She trembled with anger. ‘Well, I can assure you I’m not a walkover and everything you said to me yesterday,’ she paused, ‘well, it meant nothing to me.’

  ‘Ah, good,’ Lady Spencerville said. ‘So, you are aware of Horatio’s plans to marry Lady Ashford. Well, that clears that one up.’ She flashed a superficial smile. ‘It’ll be one of the biggest society weddings.’

  ‘Uh, no, it doesn’t really clear anything up,’ Anna said. ‘Did you know your son told me he loved me?’

  She smiled, the corners of her mouth twitching. ‘Yes, he was just saying. And I told him it would be a dreadful mistake if he were to continue cavorting with you.’

  Anna took a sharp intake of breath. ‘A mistake? A mistake was ever coming to Trumpsey Blazey, a mistake was ever talking to your son. But your son falling in love with me, or at least telling me he had fallen in love with me, that is not a mistake.’

  ‘I have,’ he said, giving a small nod.

  ‘Well, what are you doing marrying this Arabella woman, then?’ She ground her teeth in frustration, waiting for an answer, but neither of them spoke. ‘Did Horatio fill you in on Richard’s little speech yesterday? You remember? The boy you gave away to be adopted when he was a baby? Yes, him. Well, I now know why you wanted that diary so badly. It wasn’t just the affair you were trying to keep from everyone, it was the fact that you unflinchingly gave away another woman’s child.’

  ‘No, wrong, your aunt gave that child away.’

  ‘I don’t believe that. You threatened her somehow. I’m not that stupid. I know I trust my aunt more than I trust either of you.’

  Horatio winced as hurt crossed his features.

  ‘I never discussed it with your aunt. It was arranged for her by myself and Frank.’

  ‘But you said my aunt was there, that she was crying. You remember her crying,’ Anna said to Horatio.

  He nodded. ‘I thought she was.’

  ‘Oh, at the last minute, Frank had a wobble and phoned Florence, but she was too late. The papers were signed and that was it. I told her it was for the best.’ Lady Spencerville sharply cut another rose and smelt it. ‘If they had kept Richard, I would have been forced to fight for all this.’ She indicated the manor. ‘Frank might have lost his home and no little affair was worth that, was it?’ She paused. ‘If my son, Horatio, did tell you he loved you yesterday, it was all a big mistake. I think it’s best my son doesn’t repeat history, don’t you?’

  Anna pressed her lips together and stared hard at Horatio. ‘Aren’t you going to say anything? Or are you going to let her dictate your life too?’

  ‘Miss Compton, I am not dictating his life. He makes his own choices, I just help him make those choices.’

  ‘In which case, Mr Horatio, you delayed my trip to London yesterday and I will not let either of you stop me from going today.’

  Lady Spencerville smiled. ‘Good. You’re in much better
company in London, dear. You’ll be with people who understand you.’

  ‘Anna, it’s so complicated, but I love you. Like I said, I love you.’ He took a deep breath, pushed his shoulders back. ‘Mother, I am breaking off this ridiculous societal engagement to Arabella. She doesn’t want to marry me either.’

  His mother flushed and said, very slowly and deliberately, ‘Horatio, you will do no such thing. Remember, if you go against my word, I will ensure you do not have a penny to your name, and then what will your dear Anna think of you?’ She scowled at Anna. ‘I imagine you wouldn’t want my son if he was poor.’

  Anna took a sharp intake of breath. ‘I do not want or need your son’s money and I’m sure we’d be just fine.’ She searched Horatio’s face for support.

  Horatio glanced at Anna and then at the ground. His silence told her everything she needed to know, and she swivelled around and walked fast towards her car, her heart hammering in her chest, tears rolling fast down her cheeks.

  ‘Miss Compton,’ Lady Spencerville called out.

  She stopped and turned.

  ‘The diary. I would still like the diary.’

  ‘Yeah?’ Anna shouted back. ‘Well, that would be hard.’

  ‘Why?’ Lady Spencerville tugged at her jacket sleeve.

  ‘Because I sent it to the local newspaper when I saw the photo of Horatio and Arabella together.’ She cocked her head to one side and smiled. ‘Thought I’d show you how it feels when people show you up.’

  Anna walked on. She wished Horatio would stop her from getting in her car, from moving on for ever, but he didn’t, and she made her way back to Primrose Cottage to pack.

  As she pulled up to Primrose Cottage, she saw Simon standing outside the front door.

  She walked towards the house. ‘What do you want, Simon? Today is really not a good day.’

  ‘I heard you’re leaving.’

  ‘You heard right.’ She nodded, stopping in front of him.

  ‘I want to see my children.’

  ‘Simon, you have done nothing, I mean nothing, that proves your commitment to those children.’ She shook her head. ‘Look, can you go? I need to pack.’

  Diane opened the door. ‘Oh, is he still here? I told him to sod off but he insisted on waiting.’ She looked at Simon. ‘I’ve called him every name under the sun and squirted him with Freddie’s water gun.’

  ‘She did too,’ Simon said. ‘Bloody mental, that woman.’

  ‘No,’ Anna said. ‘She’s a loyal friend. Look up “loyal” in the dictionary. It says “Diane” underneath, but look up “turd”, and I think your name’s there.’ She pushed past him. ‘Listen, I really have to get going.’

  He put his hand gently on her arm. ‘Listen, I want to prove I can be there for you three. I know,’ he nodded, ‘that I don’t deserve it and I’m asking to see them every now and then, when you say I can. I won’t push it.’

  Anna turned to look at him. ‘Simon, you’re sounding almost decent.’

  ‘Hear me out. Last night, I was in the pub, the Rose and Crown.’

  ‘Are you staying locally?’

  ‘Yes,’ he nodded, ‘because I need to show you I care.’

  ‘Go on…’ Her eyes narrowed with suspicion.

  ‘So, you know Richard, the guy you were dating?’

  ‘That’s putting it a bit strongly.’ Anna grimaced.

  ‘Whatever. He came into the pub last night and told me everything over a couple of pints.’

  ‘How cosy.’

  ‘He told me how he was jealous of Horatio and that’s why he called himself Horatio at the race. You know, when he gave me your address? He just wanted to make Horatio look bad.’

  ‘Si, I really don’t care about this. I’ve got a pounding head and my mother’s bringing the children back from the park any minute now. They don’t need to see you again. It’s too confusing for them.’

  ‘OK, just quickly. So he then told me about what happened yesterday.’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘He told me he’s contesting the cottage and I thought,’ he paused, flashing her a hopeful smile, ‘I thought you might let me help.’

  She shook her head. ‘No offence, Si, but you’re a cameraman working for the BBC. Not sure you can save the day on this one.’

  ‘That’s where you wrong. I have this friend, he owes me big time, and he’s a lawyer. I’ve already filled him in, sent over all your details and he’s pretty certain Richard doesn’t have a leg to stand on.’

  Anna looked at him steadily. ‘You did that?’

  ‘Anna, I’m an asshole. I know it, but even I want you and the children to be happy. This is your cottage and the money your aunt gave you is yours. Not his. I will do this for you, even if you don’t let me see the children.’ He looked at the ground. ‘Because, believe it or not, I’m sorry.’

  Diane reappeared in the doorway. ‘Whoopy-doo. Did my ears deceive me or did he just apologise for five years’ absence?’ She rolled her eyes. ‘Pur-lease.’

  He shrugged. ‘I knew you’d both think like that but, anyway, I came to tell you that the ball’s rolling and Richard, hopefully, won’t get his hands on what’s rightfully yours.’ He gave a small smile and backed away. ‘Hope you don’t go back to London, Banana.’

  ‘Why? Because you’re there?’ She smiled for the first time in a while.

  ‘Because this place suits you and, despite me turning up, you look good.’ He nodded. ‘You suit the country life.’

  He made his way to his car and held his hand up in farewell. ‘I’d like to see them, Anna, but you were right,’ he called to her, ‘only if they want to. Speak to them for me.’

  She didn’t say anything and, as he drove down the hill, he passed Linda’s car. Anna expected him to stop and demand to see the children. Her heart leapt as his car slowed. But, true to his word, he kept going.

  The Truth About the Cakes

  Forty minutes later, Anna was packed and standing by the door.

  ‘This time, I really am going.’

  ‘Anna, please don’t,’ Diane begged for the millionth time. ‘This place will be pants without you. I came here because of you, remember?’

  ‘Darling, as did I,’ her mother reminded her. ‘And as it’s turned out to be jolly good fun, I can’t imagine why you’re buggering off.’

  Anna looked at them both and then down at the twins. ‘It’s just because it’s not what I thought it would be.’

  ‘It’s been a little over a month, Anna. I don’t know why you expect so much from everything,’ said her mother.

  Anna’s chin quivered, a lump rising in her throat. ‘Is it too much to ask that I might meet someone decent? Someone who doesn’t talk to me like I’m something they’ve trodden on? Someone normal?’ She indicated the cottage. ‘This place is great now but it’s never going to be what I imagined it could be.’ She looked at the twins. ‘And they need stability. Not the angst that’s come out of this situation with Richard. And then, there’s him. You know. Him.’

  ‘Darling, he has a name.’ Her mother looked at her.

  ‘Yes, Horatio.’

  ‘Darling,’ her mother said, ‘you had Horatio all along but you kept pushing him away.’

  Anna gasped and then, as the words settled, realised how painfully true that statement was. Horatio had shown her such kindness all along and she had been too proud to see it.

  Diane pouted and sat heavily on the sofa. ‘Look, if you’re sure, then go and find a damp-ridden flat in London, with mildew climbing the walls and noisy neighbours arguing and having loud sex. Then go join the rat race that is dating in London and take the twins back to that grotty school. See if I care. Because I don’t. In fact, I don’t care at all that you’re leaving me and Larry and the jellybean.’ Her voice wobbled. ‘Not at all.’ At that she bent over her knees and sobbed, her shoulders shaking.

  ‘Oh, Dee, come on.’ Anna rushed over and hugged her, kissing the back of her head. ‘I know you must hate me right no
w…’

  ‘Going to be sick.’

  ‘It’s a bit harsh, Dee.’

  ‘No, really, I’m going to be sick.’ Diane shot up and fled from the room, up the stairs and slammed the bathroom door shut.

  ‘Darling,’ her mother said over Diane’s retching, ‘I always knew you were a coward, but this is totally ridiculous. Who’s to say you won’t meet someone just like my Tony tomorrow?’

  Anna gave this prospect a half second’s thought and picked up her case, cuddling each of the twins, in turn, with her free arm. ‘Mum, let’s see what happens. No need for all the dramatics.’

  ‘Oh, I’m not being dramatic,’ she said, sweeping her pashmina over one shoulder. ‘And Diane’s hormones are all over the place. You’re the one being the drama queen.’ She paused. ‘We are merely watching you ruin your life and—’

  The phone rang and her mother ran to it, picked up the receiver and leant her body up against the doorframe, one knee bent with her foot against the wall. ‘Tony, my darling,’ she purred down the line, ‘don’t talk, let me speak. I can’t get last night out of my mind.’Anna dropped her case and put her arms around the twins’ ears.

  ‘I’m on fire,’ her mother continued. ‘You, you little monkey, have set my body on fire.’ She straightened up and frowned. Anna could hear a muffled voice at the other end of the line. ‘There’s no Amy here.’ She looked at Anna. ‘The one who sang Abba? You mean Diane? No.’ Her mother nodded at Anna. ‘Oh, the clumsy one? Yeah, her name’s Anna.’ She paused. ‘Right you are. She’s here.’

  Her mother handed her the receiver.

  ‘Tony wants to speak to me?’ Anna looked at her, surprised. She wasn’t sure she could bear a game of single-handedly holding a conversation for two until Tony hung up.

  ‘No,’ her mother said, fluffing up the ends of her hair. ‘Turns out it wasn’t Tony. It’s Angela.’ She refused to make eye contact with Anna and swept from the room.

  Anna hid a smile. ‘Hi, Angela?’

  ‘Amy?’ She laughed. ‘Your mother just called you Anna. How funny’s that?’

  ‘Hilarious.’