Six Reasons

by Randileigh Kennedy

  As I pulled into the parking lot off Dixon Drive, I was impressed by how many cars there were. I was fairly certain I would already know most of Mallory’s guests. We had all the same friends and I grew up around her family. My own parents had a pretty messy divorce, so I always felt comforted by the presence of Mallory’s mom and dad. They had been so kind to me over the years, and when we were teenagers, I felt as if they understood me better than my own parents did. Greyson’s guests, however, were all a mystery to me. He had come out with us on numerous occasions, but I had yet to meet any of his friends. He talked about them often, but we just never managed to meet up with any of them while we were out. Greyson was a very good looking guy himself, so I was eager to meet the guys he hung around with. I’m sure at least a few of them had some potential.

  As I made my way into the party, I locked eyes with a stranger. He had thick dark hair and a perfect jaw line. He looked to be about six-foot-three, and I could see the firmness of his chest through his fitted white button down shirt. As we made eye contact, his perfect mouth turned up into a slight smile and I could see the dimples in his cheeks.

  “Megan!” Mallory exclaimed, engulfing me in a big hug. Her short dark hair was pulled back and her hazel eyes sparkled. “I’m so glad you made it. Look how many people came!” She radiated with pride, and I was so genuinely happy for her.

  “I know, congrats! It looks like a great turn out,” I said warmly. “You guys have done such an amazing job with this space. I can’t believe it all came together so well, combining both businesses like you have. I know you were really nervous about it at first, but just look at this place. We are all so proud of you.”

  “Thank you, we’ve been working like crazy these past few weeks. I can’t believe this grand opening is finally happening,” she replied, looking around the room. “Isn’t Steve with you?”

  “No. He’s actually bringing a date tonight,” I said with a raised brow. “I’m interested in meeting her,” I said with fake enthusiasm.

  “Give her a chance, Meg,” Mallory said, swatting my arm.

  “You’re right, he deserves a good one,” I replied. “But you know I secretly hate it. You’ve moved on with Greyson, and now if he has someone to hang out with then I have to show up alone to everything. I just don’t want to lose him. You know how that goes.”

  “You’ve had eleven years to claim him, Meg, but you’ve never done anything about it,” Mallory pointed out matter-of-factly. “You’re going to have to let him move on eventually.”

  “Oh stop, it’s not like that. You know we’re just friends,” I answered back. I was always trying to convince everyone there was no further attraction between us. Steve and I were way too close as friends for it to ever become more than that.

  “Change of subject, I think I just found my next ex-boyfriend,” I said, taking a glass of champagne from a server walking around with a tray of drinks.

  Mallory followed my line of sight across the room to the handsome guy I saw as I first walked in.

  “Who, Ben?” Mallory asked. “In the white shirt?”

  I nodded, taking a sip of champagne. It was sweet and delicious, and I felt pretty optimistic about this evening.

  “Oh no, Meg. Please not him. Anyone else,” Mallory pleaded. “That’s Greyson’s roommate. You don’t want that one. He’s way too sweet for you,” she continued.

  “Too sweet? What’s that supposed to mean? He’s not a dessert, Mallory. Although I would like to enjoy him later this evening,” I responded, taking down the rest of my champagne.

  “That’s exactly what I’m talking about Megan,” Mallory said with a serious expression. “You are way too much for him. You’ll leave him crushed and heartbroken. He’s too nice of a guy, he doesn’t deserve that.”

  Before I could respond, Steve walked in with his date and Mallory and I turned. He looked handsome as usual in his dark jeans and light blue collared shirt. I wasn’t sure what to make of his date, however. She was cute, sure. I would expect that. But she just seemed a little ‘plain Jane’ to me and that surprised me for some reason.

  “Ladies,” he announced with his typical endearing tone, “this is Leah.”

  “It’s so nice to meet you. Thanks for coming, I really appreciate it,” Mallory responded politely. “I’d love to chat for a minute but I really need to go check on the desserts. Let’s catch up later,” she said, walking to the back of the bakery. She mouthed the words ‘be nice’ to me as she walked away and I smirked. I was always nice, even if I didn’t mean it.

  I introduced myself and we made small talk for a minute or two. Leah seemed relatively kind and personable. She had short brown hair and a cute yellow dress on. I wasn’t instantly sure she was right for Steve, but I guess she could grow on me. Although none of Steve’s girlfriends ever seemed right to me.

  Addie and Griffin said hello and a few of our other friends congregated around us as well. Trays of appetizers were being passed around, but I was too distracted to think about food. I tried to pay attention to the conversation, but I kept getting easily sidetracked every time I saw a glimpse of Ben. We continued to make random eye contact throughout the evening, and I knew I would need to break off from my large group of friends in order to talk to him. I had a couple more glasses of champagne for some liquid courage, even though I was aware that I should probably slow down my alcohol consumption. I politely excused myself from the group and I made my way to the bathroom. I reapplied my lip gloss and adjusted my strapless bra - a horrible, yet necessary invention. I guess that was the curse of not having much in front to hold it up. That area was never my best asset.

  As I headed out of the restroom, Greyson stopped me.

  “Megan, thanks so much for coming,” he said, giving me a quick hug. “Every single person Mallory invited showed up. That’s incredible to me. I’m so glad she has such wonderful friends. Oh, speaking of friends, I want you to meet some of my mine.”

  I glanced around at the four guys he was standing with, locking my eyes last on Ben. Again, he smiled as we made eye contact. His dimples continued to mesmerize me.

  “This is Jeremy, Adam, Ethan, and Ben,” he said, politely introducing them to me. They nodded at me and I smiled. “This is Megan, Mallory’s best friend.”

  “This is such an amazing space you have here, Greyson. I’m quite impressed,” I replied honestly. “Good party.” I smiled at Ben and instantly felt the electricity between us as we gazed at one another. A couple other guys came up to our circle, interjecting with the others. Greyson introduced them to me as well, but I was hardly paying attention. They all chatted amongst each other, and I figured they were all friends from school. Greyson grew up in Reno, about an hour away, so we didn’t know the same people. Over the past few years, he and some of his friends had moved up to Mountain Ridge to be closer to the lake and the ski slopes. I learned some of his friends were local, but for some reason our paths hadn’t crossed until now. My eyes concentrated on Ben as he spoke to the other guys. His smile looked warm and inviting, and I hoped to see more of it.

  “Don’t do it,” Greyson whispered in my ear. “Ben is the nicest guy I know. I see the way you’re looking at him, Meg. He could never handle you,” he said, smiling at me.

  “Why does everyone keep saying that?” I asked a little too loudly with a slight laugh. They were all acting like I was a lioness hunting for prey.

  “I’m just saying, Meg. Some of the other guys here, sure. They would love a girl like you.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, eyeing him curiously. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be offended or not by his comment.

  “You know what I mean, you’re confident. You know what you want and you make no apologies for it. You’re real, and honest, and you don’t hold back on anything. And that’s a good thing, trust me. But Ben has been through a lot. It’s just not the right time,” Greyson said, shaking his head.

  I nodded at the guys as they talked amongst one anoth
er and made my way back to my friends. Addie and Griffin had their arms around each other, delirious in love. Mallory and Greyson were busy working the room. My good friend Johnny was there, but he brought a date. They were getting along quite well with Steve and Leah, so I imagined a series of double dates in their near futures. The room suddenly felt stuffy to me and I needed some fresh air. Unfortunately though there was nowhere to go. Outside was just a parking lot and I knew I couldn’t actually leave the party. Not when it was this big of an event for one of my best friends.

  Everyone’s comments about Ben really agitated me. He was too nice of a guy for me? What did that even mean? As my mood soured, I drank a couple more glasses of champagne. The sweetness of the bubbly liquid started to turn my stomach, but I brushed those feelings aside. I probably just needed some food. I made small talk with Mallory’s parents, and I could feel the numbness of the alcohol surge through my body, but I really didn’t care at that point. I slowly made my way outside, hoping the crisp night air would pull me out of my haze.

  As I walked out onto the sidewalk, I noticed a handsome face staring up at the night sky. I smiled. Finally, alone at last with Ben.

  CHAPTER 4

  “I’m surprised,” Bed remarked as I sauntered towards him. There was a dim glow around us from the outside lights of the building.

  “Surprised by what?” I asked curiously, trying to read his face.

  “Surprised by how much prettier you are in person,” he said shyly, breaking eye contact with me. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Greyson and Mallory. I just had no idea, that’s all.”

  “What else did they say about me?” I asked coyly. I was intrigued that they had mentioned me to Ben but that we’d never met before now.

  “Something about you being the worst kind of trouble for a guy like me,” he responded, looking back at me.

  “What do you think that means?” I asked, my gaze still fixated directly on his eyes as I stepped closer to him. Our bodies were just inches away from each other. Without another word I slowly reached out and touched his face. I leaned in and slowly, softly kissed his lips, lingering for a moment.

  “Megan, really?” a voice said from the doorway of the bakery. Great, it was Mallory. “We’re about to do the toast. Are you really doing this right now?”

  I felt guilty for a moment. After all, I was here for Mallory. It was her big night. I reluctantly walked back into the bakery, followed by Ben. I knew the timing of what just happened was terrible.

  “Really, Megan?” Steve said with an annoyed tone as we walked back in. “Mallory was looking everywhere for you. You were out there with this guy?” he continued, angrily pointing at Ben.

  “Oh, you’re one to talk,” I touted back. The champagne had definitely taken over me at that point, and I knew I would quickly regret everything that was about to come out of my mouth. “What about your lovely ‘date’ tonight,” I said, emphasizing the word. “She’s not your type and you know it. What are you even doing with her?”

  “Megan,” Steve said angrily, “enough.”

  “No, let’s talk about it,” I replied, crossing my arms.

  “Meg, what are you doing?” Addie asked with a stern expression.

  “If everyone will raise their glasses,” Greyson interjected, turning everyone’s attention on him. “We just want to thank all of you for coming tonight to support what we’re doing here. We appreciate all of you so much…” He kept talking, but I can’t say I heard everything he said. My head was tingling and I just wanted this night to end.

  As soon as the toast was over, I quickly made my way out the front door. I definitely needed out of the party. Aside from the embarrassment of my reentry, I also felt like I might throw up from the champagne.

  “Megan, wait,” a voice said behind me as I walked into the parking lot. As I expected, it was Steve.

  “What? More judgment from you? You want to tell me what I shouldn’t be doing with that guy I was with? Or you want to talk about your new girlfriend?” I said snidely.

  “What is going on with you?” he asked, raising up his right hand. “It’s Mallory’s biggest night and you’re outside with some stranger you’ve known for fifteen seconds.”

  “How is that any of your business?” I shot back, clearly annoyed.

  “I just don’t get you lately. You’re always, just… The choices you’re making,” he stammered, trying to get his words right.

  “What’s it to you? You bring this girl around, whom you haven’t mentioned once to us, acting like she’s important to you now. You’re introducing her to everyone in here, like she’s really you’re type. You know in two months from now you’re going to be complaining to me that she’s bat shit crazy like all the other girls you’ve dated. But I know, it’s not my job to save you from her. So maybe what I do is also none of your business.” I wish I had noticed in that moment that other people had started to exit the bakery and gather around us in the parking lot.

  “I’m not asking to be saved, Megan,” he said calmly, shaking his head.

  “Well neither am I,” I said harshly. “You know that guy doesn’t mean anything to me anyway. No one does.” In that moment I caught a glimpse of Ben out of the corner of my eye, watching this conversation unfold. Annoyed, I turned back towards my car.

  “You can’t drive, Meg,” Steve replied, walking quickly towards me.

  “And you can’t tell me what to do,” I huffed. Steve ripped the keys out of my hand.

  “Meg, I can’t do this anymore,” Steve replied, looking directly into my eyes. His voice was calm and genuine, which further angered me.

  “Do what?”

  “See you like this,” he said sincerely. “I feel like I’ve been watching you self-destruct right in front of me the last few months. You go out every night. You’re always drinking. All the random guys, Meg? I just can’t watch you carry on like this. I can’t do it anymore.”

  “Well you don’t have to watch me do anything, Steve. I’m not your mess to clean up,” I replied.

  “Meg, stop,” he said as I began walking towards the street to hail a cab.

  “What? Say it. Whatever you have to say, just say it,” I said sternly, turning to face him with my hands on my hips. Rapid thoughts flew through my mind, and I couldn’t convince myself as to what I wanted from him. I cared about him deeply. And sure, maybe I was a little jealous by the thought of him adding a girl to his life. I knew it would affect our time together, and I knew it was immature of me to hope it wouldn’t happen. It was selfish of me. It was wrong. But regardless of the logic, it still made my heart hurt. I couldn’t help it. But instead of having a mature, rational conversation about it, the alcohol made me flippant. I knew by pretending not to care, he wouldn’t know my honest, vulnerable feelings about the whole situation. As usual, I preferred it that way. It seemed less complicated somehow, despite the way this conversation was turning out.

  “I hate this, Megan. I feel like I’m losing you and I hate it,” he said softly.

  “Well I’m not yours to lose,” I replied. My voice had a slight waiver to it as I said it. Seconds later, two headlights came towards me down the street. I waved my arm and the cab stopped. Maybe it was the anger, or more likely all of the alcohol, but tears quickly pooled in the corners of my eyes. Without looking back at Steve, I quickly climbed in the cab and slumped down into the sweaty leather seat.

  “Drive.”

  CHAPTER 5

  My head felt hazy and my contacts were dry as I lifted my head up off the brown leather couch I was sleeping on. I slowly looked around the room. This definitely isn’t my apartment.

  “Good morning, dear. I wasn’t sure if I should wake you,” said a pleasant, older female voice.

  “Paula?” I asked, confused as to why I was in my neighbor’s apartment.

  “I found you outside your apartment door last night. You said you couldn’t find your keys? You were slumped over in the hallway. It didn’t seem safe,” she replied s
incerely.

  My keys. Vague memories of the night before filtered back into my head. I think Steve took my keys?

  “I didn’t want to wake the building super, so I helped you to the couch. You looked like you had a rough night,” she said sympathetically.

  “I did. Thank you. I really appreciate it. I’m so sorry to inconvenience you,” I responded, picking myself up off her couch. I was still wearing my tight black dress and I had a blister on my right foot from the heels I wore.

  I glanced at the clock in the kitchen. It was already nine-thirty. I originally had plans to run with Steve this morning at nine, although I’m guessing after our conversation last night he didn’t stop by to pick me up.

  I thanked Paula again for her graciousness and the building super brought me up a spare key. I made my way into my apartment and fell face first onto my large, comfortable bed. I definitely didn’t feel ready to face the day. I made a couple calls and cancelled the plans I had for the rest of the afternoon. I needed some recuperation time. I watched some movies, took a long hot bath, and sulked. Every part of me felt awful, and I hated it. I definitely welcomed a long, solid night of sleep.

  The next day flew by, which I was quite thankful for, especially on a Monday. I worked at a big marketing firm and we were always pretty busy, which was a nice distraction from my personal life. What I had left of a personal life, anyway. I left two messages for both Mallory and Addie, profusely apologizing for my actions at their grand opening party on Saturday night. I really felt bad for making a scene. It frustrated me that they didn’t return my calls.

  Tuesday morning I finally felt like myself again. I wasn’t going into work until noon because I had an important project to take care of. On the weekends I volunteered at the animal shelter in town and I loved it. It was only about three or four hours each day, but I looked forward to it every week. I felt like I was really making a difference there, and I felt like I mattered to the animals I got to bathe and play with. There was a big adoption event planned for the upcoming weekend, so I promised to volunteer a few hours this morning to help them get ready for the event.