Teacher

by R. L. Merrill

  She laughed and pulled me in for a hug. She was the same size and build as Nora but seemed about ten years younger. It was hard to judge because they both had flawless skin and exuberant energy. Being around them lifted my spirits immensely.

  “So Nora tells me you’ve got RA?” I nodded and she got a clinical look. “You’ve never had body work done?”

  I shook my head. “My insurance didn’t cover it so I’ve tried to control it with medicine and diet.”

  She snorted. “Diet, that’s obvious. When are these rock stars going to start coming after us women with some meat, I tell you!” She and Nora cracked up and I laughed nervously.

  “I’m going to set up my table in Nora’s spare room. You can come in when you’re ready and take off as much of your clothes as you are comfortable with. None is best, but for your first time, if you’d feel better leaving your panties on, that’s fine, too. I’m going to go easy on you because it’s your first time, but I think you could really benefit from this on the long term.”

  “I can’t. I mean. I appreciate you-”

  She put up her hand. “Just stop right there. Nora already warned me. Trust me, girlfriend. Danny takes care of me and I do for him, alright? I work on him and the guys when they are in town and they tip well, you know what I’m saying?”

  I smiled shyly. “Ok. I really apprec-”

  The hand went up again and she turned to go over to Nora’s with her table strap over her shoulder. I turned to look at Nora and she was shaking her head at me.

  “You got a lot to learn, sugar. That’s all I’ve got to say. Listen, I’m going to start breakfast for Janey. She always wants French toast when she comes over and the works. I’ll save some for you if you’re hungry after. She’ll probably work on you for an hour, hour and a half so I’ll see you after.”

  I nodded, feeling uncomfortable, but resigned to this.

  I walked across the patio and into Nora’s cottage. I heard Connie singing to herself in the bedroom. She had set up a portable massage table in there and was covering it with a sheet and blanket.

  “Ok, Jesse. I’m going to step out. Just climb under the blankets and lay on your stomach. I’ll be back in a minute.” She stepped out of the room and closed the door for my privacy.

  I stepped out of my pants and pulled Nora’s shirt off over my head. I looked down at my bra and panties and figured, what the hell? This might be my only massage. I wanted to enjoy it! Besides, being a dancer stripped me of my modesty. Most of the costumes I'd had to wear consisted of some spandex, elastic and maybe a few sequins that didn’t leave much to the imagination. In the dressing rooms we all had to change around each other. Sometimes we even had to tape each other into costumes that didn’t allow for undergarments.

  I slid between the soft sheets naked and sighed.

  Connie knocked on the door, “Are you ready for me?” I answered, I was and she came in. She started some soft music in the background and I felt myself relaxing already. “Let me know if I’m using too much or not enough pressure, ok?”

  “I will,” I answered.

  She rolled back the sheet, exposing my back and she walked around to where my head was. Using long strokes of her hands she applied the massage oil onto my skin and worked it around gently. It was very intimate. She had amazing hands, but she had such a similar energy to Nora that I felt remarkably comfortable with her.

  “So Nora tells me you were a dancer? What kind?”

  I exhaled a long cleansing breath. “I started with tap and jazz when I was three and it stuck. I used to compete across the state, and in high school, I performed with several groups professionally. I had a scholarship lined up to Irvine, a full ride, and then I got sick. I lost my scholarship because I couldn’t dance anymore and the rest is history. I do teach dance at a studio downtown two nights a week, so I haven’t totally given it up, but I have to be careful.”

  She was quiet for a long time, working her fingers through the knots along my shoulder blades. It hurt, but it was a good hurt. I could feel the tension moving out with every stroke. She moved down to my legs, uncovering the left one first. She made appreciative noises.

  “What?”

  She laughed. “Oh, sorry. I just used to dream I would be tall. That’s all I ever wanted to be! I wanted long legs like all those supermodels! But genes are genes, and we Fairchild women are destined to be short. Great curves, short legs. Oh well, guess you can’t have it all.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, I always wished for more curves.”

  Connie laughed. “Yeah, you pretty scrawny. You just need to let Nora feed you and you’ll fill out.”

  I snorted. “That’s what I’m afraid of. If I keep eating over here I’m never going to fit into my clothes.”

  She agreed with me, but didn’t sound like she thought that was a bad thing. She was working my calf and said, “I can feel a lot of damage in here. I’m guessing that’s from the tap dancing?”

  “Yeah, it’s pretty hard on the legs, but I love it. If I could only do one type of dancing, if I had to choose, it would be tap. It’s also the worst one for me.”

  She murmured her agreement. She finished with one leg and moved on to the other one. “How’s the pressure, Jesse?”

  “It’s ok. I know it’s doing its job. You have great hands, Connie. How long have you been doing this?”

  “Thanks. I like my work. I’ve been doing this for about ten years. I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up so I tried a bunch of things in college. Massage allows me to work mostly for myself and I get to talk to people and make them feel better at the same time. Business definitely picked up for me after Nora started working for Danny, though. He introduced me to the band and soon I was getting calls from all kinds of people, going to their houses, getting paid good money. It’s a great job.”

  “I bet. So you’ve worked on the guys in Danny’s band too?”

  She purred, “Oh yeah. There are some fine men in rock n’ roll these days, I tell you! And I’ve laid these hands on several of them.” We cracked up. Then her tone got more serious. “None are finer than your man, though.”

  I peeked back at her and she was smiling down at me. “He’s not my man, Connie.”

  She snorted. “Yeah, sure he ain’t. Honey, Nora told me how much he’s into you. Don’t worry, I’m just happy he's not moping anymore.”

  “Connie, he’s my student. We definitely have some chemistry, but nothing is going to happen. Not as long as I’m working with him.” Her look told me I’d just triggered her bullshit meter. “Hence the need for a chaperone,” I added, begrudgingly.

  She laughed. “Nora told me. That is damn funny. I’m glad though. She’s happy for him and she likes you so that’s all that matters to me.”

  “Thanks, I think.” She swatted at my behind and said, “Alright. Turn over on your back.”

  I rolled over, my body feeling deliciously heavy. We chatted a bit more while she worked on my arms, taking special care with my hands, which were extremely sore and swollen. She asked me what kind of exercises I was doing and agreed that I was doing what I should. She encouraged me to get bodywork done more often and I told her I’d think about it. It wasn’t likely, but if I could work it out I totally would. Her hands did a miraculous job of making my body forget it was broken. She finished and told me to take a few minutes to rest, that she was going to go over and visit with Nora and Jane.

  “Connie, I can’t thank you enough. That was amazing.”

  “You don’t need to but you’re welcome. I’ll work on you anytime, I mean it.”

  She walked out, and I said I would just take a minute, but that minute turned into twenty as I just let my body completely relax and enjoy the state of Jell-O.

  Jell-O! That made me think of Danny. I looked over and saw that it was 9:30, and he could be back anytime. I pulled myself out of my euphoria and got myself back together so I wouldn’t be a lump when he returned.

  I entered the kitchen of the big
house and Connie, Jane and Nora were eating breakfast.

  “Hi Jesse! Come have breakfast with us!” Jane was already in her swimsuit and had her foot propped up on a chair. She looked a little tired but enthusiastic. “Nora makes the best French toast in the world!”

  “I would believe that,” I said. “She’s one of the best cooks I’ve ever met.”

  Nora waved off the compliment and I took a chair next to Jane. The four of us chatted through our breakfast and then moved the conversation out to the patio. Jane wanted to lie in the sun and listen to music so Nora turned on some tunes and I helped Jane walk with the crutches.

  “Have you ever had to use crutches before,” she asked.

  “A few times. I've sprained both ankles, and later I dislocated a knee so yeah, I had my own set of crutches at home. Dancing in heels can be treacherous.”

  Her eyes grew wide. “You were a dancer? Oh, I love dancing! I’ve taken ballet before but it’s kind of boring. I love going to see Broadway shows though! If my mom goes to New York I’m going to make sure she takes me to the theater as much as possible!”

  “It just so happens that Broadway jazz and tap are the styles I used to dance and I still teach lessons at a studio here in LA. We’re having a show in July. Maybe you can get your dad to bring you.”

  She smiled excitedly and said, “That would be so cool! Will you be performing?”

  I caught Nora’s eye over Jane’s shoulder and she gave me a sympathetic look.

  “No, sweetie. I don’t perform anymore. My body decided it was time to retire so now I just teach.”

  Connie said, “I bet with some more work on that body of yours I could get you in shape to dance again.” Her words threw me.

  “I don’t think so, Connie. Besides, I can’t move at all like I used to. I can’t handle the repetitive practice either. But it’s fine. I like teaching. It’s really enough for me now.” She didn’t look convinced and I had a feeling this wasn’t the last I was going to hear about this.

  The slider opened and we all turned to see Danny emerge from the house. He had his shades on but a big smile on his face. As he got closer he whispered, “All my favorite ladies in the same place, what more could a man ask for?” He bent down and kissed Jane, asking her how she slept and whether she got enough to eat.

  “Daddy, will you take me swimming again, please?”

  He kissed her cheek and said, “Of course, baby. I just need to talk to Jesse for a little bit, ok? Then I’ll change and come back out.” She nodded and went back to sunbathing while Nora sprayed her with another layer of sunscreen.

  Danny went over to give Connie a hug and she told him, “Your teacher sure got a lot going on over there. Did you know she’d never had a massage before? You better have me back to work on her again. It’ll help her get well.” He shot me a concerned look and I smiled nervously.

  “Yes, Connie was kind enough to give me a massage. She’s wonderful.”

  He had his shades on, so I couldn’t see his eyes, but I knew I was probably going to get a scolding. He leaned down and whispered something in Connie’s ear and her eyes flared.

  “You know I never touch and tell, Danny. You’re a bad boy.”

  He had a frustrated grin on his face as he stood and shook his head. He kissed Nora on the cheek on his way to me. He held out a hand and I stood before him and followed him into the house. He walked past the living room and headed straight for the library. Once inside, he closed the door. I was nervous for a minute because I could feel the tension coming off of him. We sat on our couch in front of the fireplace and he just sat quietly for a minute. He removed his shades and the thousand-yard stare he had going on clued me in on what he was feeling.

  “Brooke knew. She knew Janey was depressed. She said they’ve been fighting a lot lately. She got a call from the school a few weeks ago that Janey and another girl were writing notes to each other in class and when the teacher caught them, she confiscated the notes and gave them to the parents. Brooke said Jane had written that she hated her life because her mother made her miserable and she just wanted to live with her dad. Brooke yelled at her and she said then Jane locked herself in her room and wouldn’t come out for a whole weekend. Meanwhile, Brooke’s agent got her this audition in New York, a starring role in a police procedural, and she got the part. She starts filming in three weeks. The purpose of the weekend trip to New York was to sign the contracts and to start looking for an apartment. She hadn’t told me any of this, Jesse. But she confessed it all and told me she wants Janey to stay with me. She knows she screwed up and feels like she can’t handle being a mom right now. She wants to focus on her career, so she’s just going.”

  Danny was shell-shocked.

  “That was a hell of a lot for her to load on you. What do you think about all this?” He shook his head and swallowed hard. “Your throat is hurting, isn’t it?” He nodded. I went to stand up and he grabbed my hand. “Let me go get you a drink, Danny.”

  He shook his head. He finally looked at me. “Stay. Let me finish.”

  I sat back down and he made no move to let go of my hand. “I guess I wasn’t surprised about most of it. Janey always seems angry and irritated around her mom, but I just figured it was part of growing up. God knows I was a shit to my parents. I’m guessing when she was locked in her room was when she cut herself. I’m going to take her to the therapist this week. The social worker called with the information and gave it to Nora so I’m making an appointment tomorrow. When I take Janey home tonight we’re going to sit down with Brooke and tell her that she’s coming to live with me, at least for the summer, while her mom goes to New York. I can’t believe this is all happening.”

  It was happening really fast. “But it’s good, right? This is what you wanted.”

  He nodded. “I did, but I never assumed it would happen because Brooke just fucking gave up on being a mom. She needs help, straight up. She’s a mess, Jesse. I hope she finds what she’s looking for in New York.”

  I wasn’t surprised that he spoke so thoughtfully of his ex. He was such a caring person. I knew even though they’d had a bad history that he’d never stop caring about her all together. That’s not who he was.

  Danny caressed my hand in both of his and took some deep breaths. “I’ll have to talk to the band. We were already planning to take June and July off because of my recovery, but with Janey here that might change things. I’m going to have to think about school for her, fucking getting her to the ranch for her lessons. It’s going to be a lot. Plus, you and I need to finish this diploma...”

  “Danny, your diploma can wait. You’ve gotten so much done already. We’ll keep working when you have time. If you need to take some time off to get things settled...”

  He turned sharply on me. “What are you trying to say?"

  I gulped. His whole demeanor changed. "Nothing! I just know you have a lot going on. It's ok if you want to take some time off."

  His eyes got dark and he let go of my hand roughly. "You trying to get out of this now? This too much for you? Me having my daughter here?”

  His words were so harsh! I sat back, frowning.

  “Where the hell did that come from? I’m happy for you, Danny! I just don’t want you to overwhelm yourself. She needs to come first. I get that.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me. “So you’re just going to give up? You said we’d have something, Jesse.”

  I was getting lost in this discussion. “Danny, I want to be here. I never said anything about not working with you. I’m committed to this, to you. But I don’t want to be one more thing putting pressure on you.”

  His eyes went from suspicious to sad. He stood up and walked over to the window. My heart was pounding. How could he think I’d walk away from him right now when he needed me? I wrapped my arms around my knees, pulling them to my chest. I felt like the bottom just dropped out of my life and I was scrambling to get a hold of something.

  “Danny,” I said quietly. “My feelings
haven’t changed about anything. My job as your teacher is to get you through your coursework and help you earn your diploma. My job as your friend is to support you through the things that come up in your life. None of that has changed. Have your feelings changed?”

  He didn’t turn around, didn’t say anything.

  I blew out a breath. “If they have, I understand. You have a lot going on and Janey needs you. But I’m still here for you however you need me. You just need to tell me what you want.”

  He still didn’t make any move to answer me. Tears threatened to spill and I tried to blink them back.

  “Danny? What do you want?”

  He turned and looked at me, but didn’t speak. I waited for what seemed like hours for him to just whisper something. Hell, type something out on his phone. But he was like stone.

  “I don’t understand what just happened here,” I said in a low voice. He turned back to look out the window and I couldn’t take it anymore.

  “If you’re not going to talk to me then I am going to gather my things and go. I will...” I will what? I had no idea what he was thinking or feeling. “I guess if you’re done with me, I’ll go. I’ll wait to hear from you when you are ready for more work to do.” I turned to leave, feeling like I was going to throw up. I paused at the door and looked back.

  “Danny?”

  He never looked at me.

  Stunned, I wandered out into the kitchen and stopped. I was lost.

  “He ok,” Nora asked, startling me out of my stupor. I looked at her and she immediately came to my side.

  “Sugar, is everything ok?”

  I couldn’t speak. I shook my head. “I don’t know. He just... I don’t know.”

  I walked away from her and looked outside. Jane and Connie were singing along to the music and dancing in their chairs. I smiled sadly. I felt Nora’s hands on my arms.

  “Whatever he said, I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”

  I turned on her. “It’s fine. I’m going to go say goodbye to Jane and gather my things. They have stuff to work out. I’ll be back tomorrow at 4:00. Can you let him know that if he tries to make other plans?” I turned to look at her, wiping away a tear and she nodded.