by M. E. Carter
“Yes,” I say defensively.
“Uh huh.”
“Exactly what are you insinuating, Adeline Snow.”
“I’m not insinuating anything. I just think it’s awfully coincidental you started riding your rodeo cowboy a couple of months ago and all of the sudden you have a stomach bug.”
I can practically hear her fingers being used as italics.
Snorting through my nose, I retort, “If you are suggesting I’m pregnant, then Julie is also pregnant. And Oli. And half of Ace’s staff.”
“So you weren’t kidding. A virus really is running around town.”
Smacking my own face this time, I can’t help laughing again. “Yes, Adi. There actually is a stomach bug running around town.”
“Yeah, okay. When was your last period?”
“It was…” I stop to think because I honestly don’t know. “November? December? Something like that. I stopped paying attention about a year ago when Julie started her cycle because we seem to throw each other off all the time.”
“Hmm,” she says again, and it’s starting to irritate me. “You don’t know when your last period was…”
“Stop. Adi. I’m not pregnant.”
“Okay. I’ll take your word for it.”
“But Adi…”
“Yes?”
“I’m hoping you will be soon with Spencer’s baby,” I singsong.
“You shut up right now!” she yells. “Don’t you put that kind of pressure on me!”
A belly laugh rips out of me as she yells curses and grumbles about how unfair life is that her muse has been taken away and how she’s going to have to start following Jason Mamoa to come up with a storyline, and she doesn’t even like the DC movies. Her rambling is hilarious.
When I start to feel bad again, I cut her off and let her know I need to go lie down. She ribs me one last time, and I promise her there is nothing more wrong with me than a stomach virus. For whatever reason, that satisfies her and she lets it go.
But it doesn’t satisfy me.
When I hang up, I start wracking my brain. When was the last time I had my period? I thought it was over the Christmas holidays, but for the life of me, I don’t remember if I had it or not. We were busy with family and school events and co-op events; I know we were stocked with supplies, but I genuinely don’t remember if I used any.
Racing to my bathroom, I fling open the cabinet and sure enough the box is half gone. Because I used them, right? The thought occurs to me maybe Julie ran out in her bathroom so she used mine instead.
“Shit,” I say and glance at myself in the mirror. “SHIT!” I yell louder.
So much for that nap. Now I have to go buy a damn pregnancy test!
“Greer!”
There’s no answer when I call out her name, even as I trudge from the front door to the open living room. I happen to turn and catch her out of the corner of my eye. She’s sitting at her desk staring at her computer monitor, not moving.
“Babe.”
Her whole body jerks when she finally registers I’m here.
“Oh sorry. I didn’t hear you come in.”
Cocking my head, I assess her mood. Something’s not right. Normally when she hears me come in, she meets me halfway for a quick make-out session, maybe even a little groping. But this time, she doesn’t notice I’m here?
My heart begins beating fast, and my mind automatically goes to the kids.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she claims, her eyes wide. But I call bullshit. Even if nothing’s wrong, something is definitely not right.
Walking up to her, she swivels her chair to face me and I squat down between her legs. “No seriously, Greer. Is it one of the kids?”
As soon as she realizes I’m starting to feel panicky, she immediately shakes her head. “No! No, the kids are fine. I mean, Julie still isn’t turning in her homework, so her grades are falling. It’s just…” But then she sighs. “I need to talk to you about something.”
So much for my heart going back to normal. Now I’m feeling anxious again. No good conversation ever started with those eight words.
Trying to get some clarification before I freak out on her, I ask, “Is it good or bad?”
“I don’t really know yet.”
She looks at the ceiling as she tries to decide how to answer. In that split second, I’m pretty sure I stop breathing. Wracking my brain, I frantically try to figure out if I did something wrong. Did I say something offensive? Did I try something she’s uncomfortable with in bed? Is she upset I let Oli have a little electronics time the other day at the farm as a reward because it was raining and he was having a particularly hard day?
My thoughts run wild as I try to come up with something, anything that could have gone wrong in the last couple of weeks. I really thought things were going well between us. I’m stumped.
“Greer, you really need to level with me. What is happening? I’m starting to freak out a little.”
She stares down in her lap, wringing her fingers together. Another deep sigh before she finally says, “I don’t have a virus.”
Now I’m really confused.
I look at her, at the monitor she was staring at, and back at her. “On your computer?”
For whatever reason, that breaks the ice and she bursts out laughing. Covering her mouth with her hand, she tries really hard to pull herself back together, but she can’t stop.
“No, Ace,” she says through even more giggles. “Not on my computer. In my stomach.”
“Okay.” This isn’t clearing things up at all. “You don’t have a virus on your computer and you don’t have a virus in your stomach—”
I stop when it hits me. My whole body runs cold. Greer holds my gaze, waiting to see how I’m going to react. If she’s saying what I think she’s saying, I’m not sure how to react because I’ve never had anyone say this to me before, but since she’s not actually saying anything, I’m not one hundred percent sure what we’re talking about, but no matter what, I’m thinking in run-on sentences, which means I’m starting to Freak. The Fuck. Out.
“You’re…. you’re pregnant?”
Her eyes fill up with tears and she nods. That one movement, one small motion of her head turns my world upside down and literally knocks me back on my rear.
“I’m sorry, Ace. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened. I’ve been on the shot for a long time. It’s always been effective. But maybe it really wasn’t effective, and I just didn’t know it because I haven’t needed it in a while and… I’m so sorry, Ace. I know we’re too old for this. I understand if you don’t want anything to do with this.”
“Whoa.” And the world turns right-side-up again in half a second flat, only this time instead of being confused or stunned, I’m downright angry at the insinuation I wouldn’t want anything to do with her because she’s pregnant. Or with my own child. “Do not ever say I can leave you and my child if I don’t feel like being here. That’s not the way this works.”
“Yeah, but this is not something we planned on—”
“Exactly,” I interrupt. “We. We didn’t plan on this. We are in this together. Not you. We.”
She stops trying to put excuses in my mouth, and her face flushes. I’m not sure if it’s from embarrassment or emotion. Or hell, if she needs to throw up again. Either way, before this nonsense continues, she needs to know how I really feel.
Rising off the floor, I kneel in front of her and cup her cheek with my hand, forcing her gaze to mine. “Greer, I want to make sure I’m one hundred percent clear on everything happening because my thoughts are a little tangled up right now.” I swallow hard. “You and me—we’re having a baby?”
She nods again and whispers, “Yeah.”
That’s when every single emotion leaves my body and is replaced by the most magical feeling of joy and excitement I have ever felt.
“I’m gonna be a dad,” I say quietly, and her eyes fill with tears again, only this
time she’s smiling.
“Yeah. You’re gonna be a dad.”
“I think…” I clear my throat when it cracks. “I think this is possibly the best day of my entire life.”
That does it. The dam breaks on Greer’s tears. She throws her arms around my neck, and she begins sobbing.
“I never thought this would happen,” I continue, so overwhelmed I can’t think straight. “I wrote it off that I was never going experience those things and… Greer…. I’m gonna be a dad!”
She pulls back and kisses me, brushing her wet cheeks against mine. “And I’m going to be a mom. Again.” She stops and her face falls like she’s had a realization. “Crap! I’m gonna have a baby when I’m forty!”
I start laughing and pull her to me. “Looks like our lives are just beginning.”
“No. No, I don’t think that’s what this means,” she deadpans. “Pretty sure this means we’re in for a run for our money.”
“What are you talking about? A baby is going to keep us young.”
“Or drive us to an early grave.”
“You’re no fun,” I joke. “But I do have something serious I need to say here.”
She sits back and my hands rub on her hips. My gaze immediately drops to her stomach, and I can’t believe my baby is in there. You can’t see it yet. She’s obviously not showing. But knowing he’s there, I’m in awe.
“Greer, I don’t want you to do this by yourself. And I don’t want to miss out on anything. Not the dirty diapers and the sleepless nights and the feedings and the colic. I don’t want to miss out on all of that.”
“You can have as much of it as you want.”
“But Greer, I also want you.”
“I know you do.” She looks at me with such love in her eyes, I know right now this is my forever. She’s my forever.
“I don’t think you do, though.” Shifting on my haunches a bit, I settle in for the next most important moment of my life. “I love you. I love Oli. I love Julie. And you know full well what we have is going to go the extra mile.” She sniffs back more tears and nods, so I go on. “Greer, I want to marry you.”
Usually I’m the one dumbfounded. Not this time. For the first time since I’ve known her, I’m pretty sure I made her brain short out.
She blinks at me. Then blinks again. Then a third time and starts laughing hysterically.
That’s not how I planned for this to go.
“We can’t get married, Ace. We’ve only known each other for three months. That’s like twelve weeks.”
“No, it hasn’t only been three months, Greer. It may have been only that long since we’ve been dating, but we’ve been preparing for this for a long time. We’re not in our twenties anymore.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“It means I’m not being rash. Yes, I’m asking for your hand in marriage right now because you’re pregnant. But I was already planning on us getting married at some point. I’m in my forties. I’m not some stupid kid trying to figure out who I am. I already know. I’m a dairy farmer who has a heart for kids and wants to help them succeed.” Grabbing her hands, I shift until I’m on one knee. This hasn’t exactly been romantic so far, but the least I can do is assume the position. “I’m also madly in love with the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the chance to know. Who also isn’t a dumb kid. You know you’re a reader by hobby and an editor by trade. You’re a mom whose goal is to raise your children to be the best, most successful members of society they can be. Don’t you see, Greer? We already both revolve our lives around children with special needs. We’ve done it separately. But our lives already intermesh. I love you, and I want to be with you. You. Are. It for me. And with our baby coming… Greer, I don’t want to wait any longer. Will you please marry me?”
Tears run down her face as she considers what I’m asking.
“Twenty years ago, I would have thought this was exciting. Fate and a whirlwind romance, ya know?” She scratches at my scruff, not making eye contact, but I know she’s still right here with me this morning. “But Ace, I’m not twenty years old anymore. I don’t want to get swept up in a moment. That’s not a solid foundation for a marriage, and I don’t want to ever be in a position like that again.”
Wiping her tears with my thumbs, my heart breaks that she’s been hurt before. While I respect the fact that she stayed put in her marriage for the children, the longer she stayed, the more beaten down she was. It’s not right. She never deserved that. The only thing I can do is try to be patient with her fears.
“That being said”—she wipes her nose with her sleeve—“I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to marry you.”
I try very hard not to smile or jump up and down with excitement, but I am so, so excited. “I know this is scary for you. I understand. Do you need a couple days to think about it?”
She shakes her head. “No. I absolutely do not need time to figure out if I want to marry you. I need time to think about how soon to do it. Maybe we can do like my brother and Joie. They’ve been engaged for a while but don’t have any wedding plans set, and it works for them.”
My hopes soar, because she’s not saying no. In fact, I’m pretty sure she just said yes. “I have my momma’s engagement ring at the house. I wish I had it with me right now. I wasn’t planning on my proposal going this way. You deserve all the hearts and flowers and stuff.”
Tears fill her eyes again, and I make a mental note to pick up a pregnancy book on my way home. I’ve never seen her cry this much. Hell, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her cry. And to do it three times since I’ve been here? That’s got to be those elusive hormones Pedro used to bitch about before Nio was born.
“I don’t need any of that stuff, Ace. In fact, I don’t want any of it. It’s all just distractions from the important things anyway.” She continues to sniffle, but her tears are finally at bay. “But now that that’s worked out, do me a favor.”
“Anything.”
“Ask me again.”
This time when she sniffs, she’s smiling too. I stand up, stretch my legs for a second, then get down on one knee for the second time this morning and give her as much romance as I can come up with on a whim.
“Greer Declan, I always thought I was content with being single and running the farm, helping the kids, being Pedro’s extended family. Then a boy by the name of Oli came roaring into my life.”
She giggles because it’s true. If it weren’t for Oli, we wouldn’t be here.
“That boy brought me you, and I have never for one day not been grateful for that gift. Greer, I love you. I love the kids. I love our baby.”
I reach out to gently touch her stomach. She puts her hand over mine like we’re holding our child together.
“I would be the most privileged man in the world, if you would do me the honor of being my wife. Someday. Eventually.”
She laughs out loud and nods vigorously. “Yes. I will marry you. Someday. Eventually.”
I cup her cheeks in my hands and kiss her gently on the lips. And her cheek. And her jawline.
Her neck. Her collarbone. Right over her heart on her chest. And her sternum. And her bellybutton.
And her tummy right below. I kiss it several times, feeling so much love, I swear my heart is going to explode.
“Get ready for the craziness, baby,” I say to her stomach, knowing full well my child doesn’t have ears yet. “It’s gonna be a wild ride. But you are already so, so loved.”
Greer runs her fingers through my dark hair. I close my eyes and lay my head on her lap.
“You’re going to be a great dad,” she whispers. “But I need you to get up.”
Hearing the desperation in her voice, I quickly pop up and move out of the way as she takes off running. She makes it as far as the kitchen sink before throwing up.
Looks like I’m going to be picking up more soup tonight too.
Ace and I are sitting around on the couch chatting when Oli and Julie get hom
e from school.
We tossed around the idea of hiding our news until I’m farther along in this pregnancy. But then we realized how unfair that is. Everything happening now, every decision Ace and I are making, directly affects them.
Don’t misunderstand, I’m the mom. I make the decisions. The children don’t run this house. However, I also recognize their entire world is about to be upended.
Again.
Oli came home and nothing abnormal really happened.
He went straight to the pantry for an afternoon snack.
We fought over peanut butter.
Ace helped him out with not using too much.
Oli got all proud of himself.
We fought over him putting his backpack in the mudroom.
He claimed he didn’t do it.
I told him I saw him drop it by the door.
He says someone moved it there.
The same opposition we have every single day. But it was nice having Ace navigate through it with me. And as I stood there watching, I noticed something completely different than I had before… Ace really has turned into a member of this family. He’s not just some guy I’m dating who comes over and tolerates the things going on around him. He gets in and helps. He loves. He disciplines. He jokes. He pitches in.
It might be his personality, but either way, he fits with us. And we fit with him.
I know I’m going to marry this man. I know it. I just need to figure out when.
The door slams as Julie comes into the house.
“Hey,” I greet her when she comes through the archway. “How was school?”
She shrugs. “Fine.”
“Did you get all your homework turned in?”
“Yes.”
“Julie.” The warning in my tone has her looking over at me.
“No really, Mom. I turned it all in. You can email my teachers.”
“Okay.” She doesn’t know it, but I already did. She’s getting far enough behind I have to stay on top of her grades. I’d push the issue further with her if I’d heard back from anyone at the school, but I haven’t yet, so there’s not much I can do except chat with her about other topics. “Still no invitation to the sweetheart dance?”
