“I know, but it’s complicated.”
“It’s been almost two months, honey. If you can’t figure it out by now, I don’t know if you ever will. You have to decide what you want and stick with it. It’s not fair to keep her in limbo waiting on you to come back.”
There was a knock on the door.
“Are you expecting anyone?” Jenna asked.
Skylar shook her head. “No.”
Jenna pulled back the curtain. “It’s Kris. I guess I’ll find out how much damage you’ve done.”
Jenna stepped out onto the porch shutting the door behind her. She zipped her coat and shoved her hands in the pockets.
“I’m sorry to drop by like this, but I need to know where our relationship stands. I’m tired of this back and forth thing where you stop by to see Jax and I feel like you might still care for me, but then you leave again and I go to bed alone. I’ve kept my mouth shut, hoping if I didn’t say anything you might come back.”
“I do still care for you. I always will.”
“That doesn’t sound very positive to me. It sounds like you’ve already included me as part of your past.”
Jenna sat down on the porch stoop. She was physically and emotionally drained. “It’s not that simple. You know that.”
Kris walked down the steps and stood at the bottom on the sidewalk to face her. “It should be simple. Love is complicated, but commitment and knowing that you’re with the one you want to spend the rest of your life with is simple. Let me see if I can make it easier on you. Do you want to call the engagement off?”
The question knocked the breath out of her lungs. The look in Kris’s eyes told her asking the question was just as painful for her. Why was Kris pushing her so hard? Why couldn’t she back off and give her a little more time?
Kris shook her head and looked past her to the front door. She stared down at the ground and sniffled, but when she looked back up her expression had changed. Her eyes narrowed and her jaw clenched.
“Just because you won’t admit or say the words out loud, doesn’t change the fact that you’ve already decided the engagement is off. Don’t do me any favors by trying to spare my feelings, because it’s too late for that. You’ve hurt me more than you will ever know. That’s how simple it can be. Now, what about us? What about our relationship? Should we go ahead and simplify that now too?”
Jenna’s mind was as numb as her fingertips. It was like her life’s monumental decisions were being made for her. Everything she had fought for over the past two and a half years was evaporating before her eyes like her warm breath against the cold winter air. Kris took a few hesitant steps backwards with questioning eyes, but Jenna didn’t have the answers to give her. It was impossible to put into words how she felt.
“I’m so sorry, Kris. I don’t—“
“Yeah, you’re sorry. At least I have a clearer picture of where I stand now.”
Kris turned and walked away back towards her house, their house. The muscles in Jenna’s calves twitched wanting to chase after her, but the rest of her body didn’t budge. She wiped the tears from her eyes and the spasm in her throat relaxed.
“I love you,” she whispered.
***
Instead of going inside, Kris got into her car. She gripped the steering wheel with her hands so hard her knuckles turned white. The thought of going inside that house right now made her nauseous. She pulled out her cell phone to call Allie, but changed her mind and threw the phone in the passenger seat. Allie would try to persuade her to fight harder and to not give up. She was tired of fighting, but she didn’t want to admit it to anyone else. She knew in her gut that it was over, but telling someone else it was over wasn’t something she was ready for. She felt bad enough without the pity stares that would come afterwards.
She looked down at her engagement ring, now just a piece of jewelry without any intention behind it. The sentimental value was no longer there. When she had tried to remove it in the kitchen earlier, Allie had walked in and she slipped it back down. No one was there to stop her this time as she slid it off. One tug is all it took thanks to the bitter cold, and with one pull past her knuckle it slid into the palm of her right hand. She balled her fist around it, struggling with herself to let it go. It should’ve been easy after what Jenna had put her through. She glanced through the passenger window of the car and saw Jenna go back inside Skylar’s house.
She pulled her keys out of her left pocket and slid the ring into the empty pocket. Tomorrow she would decide what to do with it, but it would be safe in her pocket for tonight. She needed to go for a drive. Anywhere was better than going back into that house.
***
She settled in at the bar ready to drown herself in her sorrows.
“Well, if it isn’t Ms. Kris Fletcher, soon to be Mrs. Kris Harper.”
How is it possible for my night to get any worse? She lifted her head to face Stacy. “Is there any place that serves food or beer that you don’t work at?”
“I have bills to pay, darling. Not everyone can be like you and snag a wealthy doctor to marry. Can I get you anything or do you want to brag a little more?”
“Give me a Long Island Iced Tea.”
Kris looked around the bar at all the other sad people. Everyone looked either sad or desperate. She ran her left hand over the ring in her jeans pocket. It felt weird not wearing it, like part of her was missing. She shook the feeling off.
“Let me know if I can get you anything else.”
Kris nodded. She reached for the glass and saw a guy approaching her from her right side. She rolled her eyes and took a sip. He leaned against the bar facing her.
“Are you waiting on someone?” he asked.
“No, but let me save you the effort. I’m not interested. Thanks anyway.”
He ran his hand through his hair and inched closer. “You sure about that? Why don’t I buy you another drink while you think about it?”
Stacy slammed her hand down on the bar making them jump. “She said she’s not interested. She’s engaged.”
The guy threw his hands up in the air. “Sorry, I didn’t see a ring and I assumed she was available.”
“Well, she’s not, so get outta here before I have you thrown out.”
He glanced down at her hand again and furrowed his eyebrows before walking away.
“Kris, honey, where’s your ring?”
She pushed her empty glass towards Stacy. “Give me another one and make it stronger this time.”
She finished the second one and caught her spurned suitor chatting up another woman at the other end of the bar. From the looks of it, he might have a chance this time. She left enough money for a sizable tip for Stacy on the bar and walked out.
Inside the safety of her car, reality began to sink in. The guy who tried hitting on her before was successful and came out a few minutes later with the woman who was at the end of the bar. She picked up her phone and called Allie, but it went straight to voicemail. She didn’t leave a message. She sighed not knowing what to do now. Going home still wasn’t an option. She flipped through the pictures on her phone of Jenna. Even now after everything that happened, she smiled looking at the pictures. Those were all happy times, and she wanted more of those times. She went through all the pictures remembering every detail of every story behind each one. Afterwards, she relaxed her head back and shut her eyes.
She awakened to someone shaking her. Disoriented, she realized she was still in her car.
“Kris, why are you still here? You need to go home,” Stacy said.
“What the hell are you doing in my car?”
“You’re lucky I found you and not someone else. You should lock your doors next time. Better yet, how about not sleeping in the parking lot of a bar? Someone could’ve taken advantage of you.”
“Oh, I suppose I should thank you. We both know you’ve never taken advantage of anyone before, right?” Kris laughed.
“I’m trying to help you, and you’re attacking me? That’s
the thanks I get? Where’s Jenna? What’s going on with you?”
Hearing Jenna’s name brought back mixed emotions. She put the key in the ignition. “I’m leaving now, so get out.”
Stacy pulled the key from the ignition.
“Give me my keys back, now. I’m not joking, Stacy.”
“Not until you tell me what’s going on with you. Why are you avoiding going home?”
“I’m not having this conversation with you. Don’t you have another job somewhere to get to? Give me my keys.” Kris choked on the last few words as her tears spilled over.
Stacy wiped away the tears. “I’m not going anywhere. I know you hate me, but since I’m the only one here, talk to me.”
Kris shook her head and stared out the windshield into the darkness.
“Look at me. Why aren’t you wearing your engagement ring? Is the engagement off?”
Kris opened her car door and got out slamming it hard enough to shake the car. If the bar wasn’t so far from town, she would’ve walked back. The other car door shut and the gravel crunched as Stacy walked around to confront her again. Damn, she won’t give up. Stacy stopped in front of her, too close for her comfort. How did this night go from bad to worse?
“Jenna and I have broken off the engagement.”
“Why? Everyone thought you two were the perfect couple. I guess appearances can be deceiving after all.”
“Why do you care? Don’t get too excited. She’s living with someone else already.”
“Wow. That’s surprising. I misjudged her. So, she left you?”
“Why am I still talking to you?”
Stacy held up the keys. “Because I have these.”
“Give me my keys. I told you what my problem was, now give them back.” She reached out for them, but Stacy shoved them inside her bra.
“Not so fast. You’re upset. I can’t let you drive off in the state you’re in. What kind of friend would I be if I let you leave like that?”
“You’re not my friend, so it doesn’t matter.”
Stacy placed her hand over her heart. “Oh, that hurts. Either way, I’m still not letting you leave until you calm down.”
“Or until I snatch the keys myself.”
Kris lunged at her, but Stacy grabbed her wrist and twisted it behind her, pinning it between herself and Kris’s back. “Something I learned while working. I’m not hurting you, am I?”
Kris shook her head. She felt Stacy’s breath warming the cool skin on her neck and her other hand on her shoulder. Stacy’s cheek pressed against her ear.
“I’ll let you go, but you need to calm down.”
Stacy released her grip on her and Kris walked around behind her. Stacy turned to face her. Kris caught her off guard and pushed her back up against the car.
“I’m getting my keys.”
“Fine. I give up trying to help you, but if you want them, you’re going to have to come get them yourself.”
Kris closed the gap between them and unzipped Stacy’s coat. She lowered her gaze to Stacy’s firm breasts pushing against the T-shirt, stretching the bar logo beyond its limits. She pulled at the bottom of the shirt, pulling it out from the top of Stacy’s skirt. She ran her hand up underneath the soft T-shirt and swallowed hard as her fingertips ran across Stacy’s hard abdominal muscles. It was hard to be around Stacy, but damn she did have a hot body. Goose pimples dotted the skin below Stacy’s bra.
Kris’s hand had a mind of its own and changed course, cupping a breast with her thumb running over an erect nipple. Stacy moaned and arched her back pushing into her hand. She pressed herself between Stacy’s thighs, feeling that familiar rush in her loins. She sought out Stacy’s lips with her own while her other hand ran up Stacy’s thigh underneath her skirt, but Stacy stopped her.
“Not here. Even I have my limits. Let’s go back to my place.”
Kris didn’t say anything. Now was her chance to grab the keys and run, but she didn’t want to go home. Going back to Stacy’s place wouldn’t be so bad. It didn’t mean she had to sleep with her.
On the short ride she struggled over whether going home with Stacy was a good idea or not. By the time they reached her house, she still didn’t have an answer. She followed Stacy inside, past the living room, and straight to the bedroom. Stacy threw her down on the bed and straddled her.
“I thought you didn’t like me, so why are you here?”
“I still haven’t changed my mind. Is that a problem for you?” Kris asked.
Stacy pulled her shirt up over her head and moved her hips against her. “No, not a problem for me.”
Kris admired Stacy’s body and raked her nails up Stacy’s thighs and pulled her harder against her. A surge of energy rushed through her watching Stacy grinding her pelvis into hers. She pulled her down on top of her, kissing her hard, pushing her tongue past her lips. Her hands squeezed Stacy’s bottom while Stacy’s fingers found her stiff nipples.
Stacy sat up and pushed Kris’s shirt up past her shoulders and pulled it off. Stacy kissed a path down her neck and chest and licked circles over her abdomen while her hand rubbed the aching spot between Kris’s legs over her jeans.
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this, but you never gave me a chance.”
Kris pushed Stacy’s head down further. “You’re talking too much. I might change my mind.”
Kris closed her eyes as Stacy worked the button and zipper on her jeans. She lifted her hips allowing Stacy to pull them off. She wanted Jenna, but it had been two months since she had sex and she needed it. She needed a release of her sexual frustration. She convinced herself being here was essential to her sanity.
Stacy straddled her again, and she felt her wet panties against the skin of her stomach. At least she still turned someone on, even though she wasn’t happy with herself. She pulled at Stacy’s panties, but Stacy pinned her hands to the bed and kissed her neck.
“Let me take care of you first.”
Kris raised herself on her elbows and watched Stacy’s hair drag across her bra, over her stomach, past her panties. A twinge of guilt clenched her gut, battling with the lust in her loins. Lust overpowered the guilt, and she spread her legs further apart. Her shoulders came off the bed when she felt Stacy’s nose, lips, and chin stroke upward intensifying the insatiable ache growing within her.
“Mmmm, feels like you’re ready for me.” Stacy licked her lips and curled her fingers around the band of Kris’s panties.
“Stop.”
“What? Now?” Stacy sat back on her heels with furrowed eyebrows and her hands on Kris’s ankles.
“I can’t.” Kris sat up and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I’m not ready.”
“You’re not engaged. You’re single, I’m single. What’s the problem?”
“It’s not right. I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Kris slipped her shirt back on and pulled on her jeans.
“You’re leaving me like this? Right now? Is there anything I can do to persuade you to change your mind?” Stacy tried to kiss her again.
“No. Don’t worry, I can walk home.”
“I’m not a total bitch. I’ll drop you off at your car.”
“You don’t have to. Allie can take me to pick it up tomorrow.” She left the bedroom.
“No, wait. I’m not letting you walk home alone this late, even if I am pissed at you.” Stacy appeared in the doorway in her short skirt and bra holding her shirt. She threw the car keys at Kris. “I’ll take you to your car. Let’s go.”
Chapter Nine
Kris waited on the porch juggling the coffee tray in one hand and banged on the door with the other. The door swung open as her fist was about to make contact again, and she almost punched Allie in the shoulder.
“You have to stop showing up here early in the morning like this. The sun isn’t even up yet. Danni’s away visiting her sister, and I planned on sleeping until lunch,” Allie said.
Kris followe
d her to the couch. “I’m sorry. I have coffee. You can have Danni’s too. I didn’t know she left.”
“Thanks, but I’d rather have sleep. I dropped her off at the airport at three o’clock this morning. I told you about it yesterday at the shower.”
“Sorry, I have a lot on my mind. Why did she take such an early flight?”
“I think just to punish me. I just got back to bed. Why are you here? What’s wrong?”
“Everything is wrong. I don’t know where to start.”
“What could’ve possibly happened since the shower yesterday?”
“I kissed Stacy, and I lost my ring.” She held up her left hand.
“What? You kissed Stacy? You hate her.”
Kris shrugged her shoulders. “I think I’ve been too harsh on her. In fact, I saw a different side of her tonight, and I feel sorry for being so mean to her before.”
“Well, she did steal your girlfriend in high school.”
“She was crazy as hell though, so she actually did me a favor. Amy was definitely unstable.”
“So, you thanked her by kissing her?”
“We did more than that, but I have a bigger problem. I can’t find my ring.”
“You slept with her? What the hell? What’s wrong with you?”
“I didn’t sleep with her. We went back to her house and we were on her bed…don’t give me that look. We still had our bras and panties on.”
“Kris, why? Wait…you lost your ring? You never take it off. Why did you take it off?”
“Because I’m not engaged.”
“Seriously, you need to do more talking. This is like pulling teeth. Fill in the details. It’s too early for me to think clearly.”
“I confronted Jenna last night and asked her if our engagement was off. She didn’t give me an answer, but the look on her face was all I needed to see. I told her I knew it was off, and then I asked her about our relationship. She didn’t answer so I left and went to the bar on the outskirts of town. That’s where I ran into Stacy. She’s a bartender. She was nice and one thing led to another, and….”
Allie shook her head. “I can’t believe this. It sounds like you’re telling me that you’re the one who called the engagement off and basically ended the relationship.”
Jenna's Future (Dr. Jenna Harper Series Book 3) Page 9
