“It’s my job to know about it. Have you forgotten what my career is? Oh, that’s right, you don’t keep up with me or what happens in my life.”
“Don’t be so selfish and childish, Jenna. We just buried your grandmother,” her mother said.
“I’m well aware of where we are and what just happened. I’m sorry if you think it’s selfish of me to wonder where my parents were when I was in the hospital last year. I’m sorry if you believe it is childish to expect my parents to have been there when I woke up. I know you haven’t had a chance to get to know Kris, but that’s not because we haven’t invited you into our lives. If you don’t want us to come by when we leave here, we won’t out of respect for your wishes. If you can’t accept our relationship, we shouldn’t be there anyway.”
Jenna took a step backwards. “Goodbye. We’re leaving first thing in the morning.”
She walked away without looking back. Part of her wanted them to call her back and apologize, but the rational part of her knew that would never happen. She dug her nails into the flesh of her palms and clenched her jaw. It’s not like they had changed overnight. They had always treated her like this. Well, ever since Kim was kidnapped.
“I’m guessing that didn’t go too well.” Bethany nodded towards Jenna’s parents.
“Why is he so damn stubborn, and why does she agree with him?” Jenna reached for Kris’s hand.
“He’s getting worse. He’s turning out to be just like our father. Did you know he started drinking again?”
Jenna nodded. “Yes, I knew, but that doesn’t change who he is. He’s the same way when he’s sober.”
Kris spoke up. “Why don’t you go over to their house with Bethany? You should spend time with your family. I’ll go back to the hotel and check in with the office.”
“No, I’ve already told them we’re leaving in the morning. They made it clear they didn’t want me there.”
“You mean they don’t want me there. I can understand how they feel. I shouldn’t have come today. I hope I didn’t upset anyone by me being here.”
Bethany squeezed Kris’s free hand. “No, don’t worry about that. My mother adored you, and she loved Jenna. Her eyes lit up every time she talked about the two of you. She knew both of you belonged together and had something special. Kismet is what she called it. If she had known what I just found out about the two of you separating, she would’ve flown up there and made both of you work through your issues and probably would’ve dragged you to the courthouse to get married.”
Jenna kissed Kris on the cheek. “I’m glad you came, Kris. I couldn’t have gotten through these past two days without you.”
Bethany cleared her throat. “I should get going. Unfortunately, I have to deal with everyone whether I like it or not. I really just want to go home and deal with my grief, but I need to go help your folks handle everyone who’s going over there this afternoon.” She hugged Kris. “It was so nice to finally meet you. Take good care of Jenna for me.” She hugged Jenna tight. “Don’t let this one go or I’ll come up there and kick your ass. I expect a wedding invitation in the mail soon.”
***
Jenna sat down on the couch in the hotel room. The last thing she wanted to do right now was bring up the past, but it needed to be done. She looked at Kris sitting on the opposite end of the couch. It was time for everything to come out into the open. Once the dust settled, they would both be in a better place.
She grabbed Kris’s hand resting on the back of the couch. “I’ve realized the mistakes I’ve made. I know we have a lot to discuss, and I want to work through any issues we have so we can resolve them. We need to put the past behind us and work on our future together.”
“Are you sure you want to do this today? We can wait until we get back.”
“I don’t want to wait any longer. The first step is for us to be open and honest about everything. We need to talk about everything and ask any questions we want answers to, so we can move beyond anything that’s holding us back from starting our life together.”
“Okay. I’m ready if you are. How should we do this? Do you want to ask me anything?”
Jenna looked down at their hands clasped together and played with Kris’s engagement ring. “I ran into Stacy at the bakery. I had no idea she worked there. Is there any place she doesn’t work?” She laughed. It was more of an uncomfortable and awkward laugh to fill the gap between the unknown and finding out the truth about what happened.
Kris smiled. “I believe she has worked everywhere at one time or another.”
“That’s what it seems like. Anyway, I was there picking up cupcakes for a going away party for a nurse who was leaving to move down south. Stacy gave me my order and then took your engagement ring out of her pocket. She placed it on top of the box and told me she didn’t know what to do with it. She thought maybe I wanted it back.”
“I’m so sorry, Jenna. I was going to tell you everything the other night when you came over, but I didn’t get a chance before you threw the ring down and left.”
“Well, I’m here now. I was completely caught off guard. She didn’t tell me anything, and I didn’t ask questions. I felt humiliated. I thought you hated Stacy?”
“I don’t hate her. I didn’t like her, but I have a different opinion of her now.”
“I figured that much out for myself when she handed me the engagement ring I gave you.” Jenna fought the strong urge to pull her hand away. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to remain calm, but this is more difficult than I thought it was going to be.”
“I understand. It was only one night, the night I confronted you after Cynthia’s shower. I was so angry and mad. Stacy was working at the bar I ended up at. She showed compassion and forced me to talk. I felt rejected and I was vulnerable. She was there and—”
“And you kissed her to get back at me?”
“Yes…I mean no. Our engagement was off and our relationship was…you didn’t say you wanted it to continue. You let me walk away.”
“I didn’t say it was over either. I was in a bad place. I was full of anger and guilt. I wanted to blame you, but I also didn’t want to because I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you. Seeing you every day was too hard. I felt bad for thinking about Kim when I was around you. I had to get away. I know it was wrong now, but at the time I didn’t know what else to do.”
“You should’ve told me how you felt. I would’ve given you space.”
“I know. Anyway, did you sleep with Stacy?”
“No, I didn’t sleep with Stacy.”
“She had your ring, so something must’ve happened. I don’t think it fell into her hands during a friendly hug. What happened between the two of you?”
“I’ll tell you everything, but first you have to understand what I was going through at the time. I’m not blaming you. I take full responsibility. With that being said, you walked out on me and moved in with Skylar. I thought you were having an affair with her. I assumed you were sleeping with her. I also thought after our conversation that night you wanted to end everything with me. I left devastated. I couldn’t go back into the house, our house. I stopped at the bar and surprise, another place I didn’t know Stacy worked at.”
Jenna shifted on the couch. Her gut tightened and her jaw clenched. Emotions of anger and betrayal crept up within her. She wanted to know what happened, but at the same time she didn’t want to hear it. The fact it was Stacy added to her conflict. Her heart pounded loud and fast in her ears. She bit down on her tongue, trying to push down the waves of nausea she felt.
“Are you okay? Are you sure you want me to talk about this now?” Kris asked.
Jenna nodded. It was now or never, and she needed to know everything whether she wanted to or not.
“I had two drinks and then went back out to the car. Stacy found me asleep in the parking lot and took my keys. She noticed I wasn’t wearing my ring and—”
“Wait. What? You weren’t wearing your ring? You took it off? When?”
“That same night after leaving you on the porch at Skylar’s. You said…I mean I thought you ended our engagement and our relationship. It was hard for me to take it off, but we had been apart for months already.”
Jenna stood up and leaned over the dresser. She grabbed the edge so hard her knuckles turned white. A stronger wave of nausea threatened to rise this time, but the rage flowing through her veins pushed it back down. She turned around and leaned against the dresser with her arms crossed. Kris looked frightened. She tried to stand.
“No, stay there.” Jenna said. “This is one of those times I need some space. I thought the ring fell off while you were doing whatever you were doing with Stacy. I didn’t know you had taken it off. You were willing to give up on us so easily?”
“It wasn’t easy. It was the hardest and most painful thing I’ve ever done. Getting shot and not knowing if I was going to live to see another day was nothing compared to what I went through after you left. To me, it seemed like you had made your decision and that I was the only one clinging to what we had. I felt like I had to take off the ring to accept the reality that I had already lost you. The instant I took it off, I felt an immediate sense of loss. It was hard to breathe. Hard to imagine waking up the next morning and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was no hope left.”
Jenna couldn’t imagine what it was like for Kris actually believing that it was over. She wanted to run over and comfort her and apologize for being so selfish, but she still hadn’t heard the rest of the story yet. “So, she noticed you had taken your ring off, then what happened?”
“Like I said, after her shift she found me in the car in the parking lot. She got in my car and tried to get me to talk about what was going on. I tried to make her get out and leave me alone, but she wouldn’t. She took the car keys away from me and then got out. When I reached for them, she put them in her bra.”
“And then you kissed her? Or did she kiss you first?”
“Does that matter?” Kris asked.
“Yes, it does, but I think you just answered the question. Let me guess, you went for the keys without hesitation and then you kissed her?”
Kris looked away. “Yes, I kissed her. I didn’t plan it, and to be honest, I don’t think she planned on anything happening either.”
“Go on, I want to know how it happened.”
“Jenna, it’s not going to make you feel better hearing the details, and it makes me feel horrible telling you.”
“Don’t worry about me. Keep going.”
“I ran my hand underneath her shirt and got lost in the moment. It had been so long, months, and we had just had that huge argument. I wanted to feel desirable again. My hand moved past the keys, and I kissed her.”
Jenna’s eyes teared up and her heart felt like it paused before thumping again hard against her chest. Kris was right about one thing, hearing it didn’t make her feel better. She swallowed hard and breathed through the sick feeling. When Kris looked up, her cheeks were wet with tears.
“You had sex in the parking lot of a bar?” It was harsh, but she couldn’t control it.
“No, I told you we didn’t have sex. She took me to her house. We went to her bedroom and continued.”
“How far did you go? Did you keep your clothes on? Were her clothes on or off?”
“Stacy’s shirt was off, but she had her bra on still.”
“Was she wearing pants or a skirt?”
“She was wearing a skirt.”
“That was convenient. I should’ve known. So, she was still pretty accessible to you then even with the skirt. What about your clothes?”
Kris looked down at the floor. “I had my bra and panties on.”
Jenna pushed away from the dresser so hard it knocked over a bottle of lotion and it rolled across the floor. She picked it up and carried it into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She leaned against the door and slid down all the way to the floor as her mind spun out of control. She wanted to throw something, scream, cry, blame someone. Images of Kris and Stacy on top of a bed groping and grinding flashed through her mind. The lid on the bottle of lotion popped open from her squeezing it too hard and lotion ran down her arm to her hand. She threw it on the counter and grabbed a towel.
“Are you okay? Can I come in?” Kris asked from just outside the door.
“I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute.”
Cool water from the sink helped stifle the heat in her cheeks. After wiping her face with the towel, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. The answer was staring back at her. She was the one to blame. She was the one who walked out on Kris. She was the one who let Kris run into the arms of Stacy that night because she didn’t run after her.
She unlocked the door and found Kris leaning against the doorframe. She hugged her. “I’m so sorry, Kris.”
“What are you apologizing for?”
“For everything. For not believing you when you first tried to tell me about Kim tricking you. For not knowing how to deal with my feelings about you after she died. And, mostly for abandoning you and letting you believe I didn’t love you any more. I have never stopped loving you and I never will. You may drive me crazy sometimes but I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
She closed her eyes as Kris’s fingers brushed away the tears from her cheeks. She hadn’t realized any tears had escaped. She hugged her tighter and rested her head on Kris’s shoulder. This is what home feels like, safe and warm surrounded by unconditional love.
Kris kissed her on the temple. “I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for making you feel like you needed to leave to be able to think. I’m sorry for letting anything happen with Stacy.” Kris kissed her again. “I’m also sorry that your sister is gone, and I am part of the reason.”
Jenna pulled back to look into Kris’s eyes. “I don’t blame you for Kim. I can’t blame you. She was unstable, and I know I can’t blame myself for that any more. I wasn’t responsible for what happened to her, what those awful bastards did to her.”
“But I can’t imagine what it’s like for you to look at me now. I don’t think you see the same person as before. It has to be hard.”
“I had to work through my emotions before, but that’s behind me now. I don’t think I blamed you before, but I did associate you with what happened. It was hard for me to keep my anger and grief separate from my love and strong feelings that I have for you. Everything got mixed up, and I thought the answer was to get away from it all.”
“How do we get past this and move on? Is that even possible?” Kris asked.
“I’d like to believe so. Talking and listening to each other is a start. I thought tiptoeing around the topic would help us put it behind us. Instead, it made it more impossible to ignore by censoring what we said. I want to know anything that is bothering you, like the house for instance. I know you said you wanted to sell the house. If that’s something you really want, we can discuss it.”
“But, I know how much you love it. It’s your first house. It has a lot of sentimental value for you.”
“Yes, it was my first house. I did love it, and I still do. It holds a lot of memories for me. That’s the beauty of memories though, I can take them with me wherever I go. They’re not attached to the house. The house is just a thing. It holds no power. Besides, we have the rest of our lives to create more memories wherever we choose.”
“But—”
“I know it’s painful for you to stay there. The horrible memories you have are strong and are tied to the house for you. Those are the ones I want you to think less about. I know it’s impossible for you to forget them, but a change of environment will help.”
“I feel like I’m taking something away from you. I want you to be happy too.”
“I’m happy as long as I’m with you. You’re right, it was my first house, one that I picked out. I asked for your advice, but it was ultimately my decision. I want our next home to be one we choose together. No matter wher
e we are in this world, as long as we are together, that’s our home.”
Chapter Twelve
Jax almost knocked them over as they entered Allie’s house.
“There’s my boy. Did you miss me?” Jenna showered him with kisses and hugs.
“Thanks for watching him, Allie.” Kris said.
“He’s a good boy. I know Danni will miss him. Thanks to you, she’s already talking about adopting a dog.”
“I’m going to walk him home. I know I need to stretch my legs after that long drive. Thanks, Allie, and tell Danni I will see her tomorrow at the hospital.” Jenna leashed Jax and left.
“So, does this mean everything is okay between you two now?” Allie asked.
“Yes, we’re good.” Kris said.
“Well, that’s great news, which you could have told me. I was worried about you. A quick text letting me know you were fine would have been great, you know?”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I was kind of busy, but I should have let you know what was happening.”
“Sure, you were busy. You don’t have to give me all the details of the awesome makeup sex…unless you want to.”
“That’s not the kind of busy I was referring to. We talked about all the issues we had.”
“So, no makeup sex?”
“Well, I didn’t say that.” Kris smiled.
“I’m glad you didn’t listen to me about not going. Who knows what would’ve happened with your relationship if you didn’t follow her? Did the situation with Stacy come up?”
“Of course, it did. That was an uncomfortable discussion. I thought I might lose her again during that one. She wanted the details, but she didn’t take it too well.”
“Yeah, well, I still can’t believe it myself. Couldn’t you have picked anyone else? Avoiding Stacy is going to be an impossible task.”
“Don’t I know it? She’s actually not as bad as I thought. There’s a pretty good person hiding underneath those character flaws.”
“You’re wearing your ring. Is the engagement back on?”
Kris nodded. “We still don’t have a date yet, but we’re doing this. I’m really getting married.”
Jenna's Future (Dr. Jenna Harper Series Book 3) Page 12
