Just...Breathe: The Love They Had Always Wanted, and Now Try to Fight... (The Broken Series #1)

by Angela Fattig

  He turned and gave me a questioning look when I hadn’t answered. His dark dress shirt had been left unbuttoned a bit allowing a glimpse of skin. A strange feeling washed through me; one that I had only felt once before, with him. I am starting to learn that the feeling is arousal. Something I never had with Steven or any man for that matter.

  As I was trying to put reason to what I was feeling, Chase walked up to me and pulled me against his body. “What’s wrong Jaden?” he asked.

  The sound of my name on his lips made my body quiver and my knees weak. I looked up and smiled. “Sorry, nothing’s wrong,” I answered, “Just doing some heavy thinking. Shall we go?”

  He searched my eyes a bit longer before he let a breath out, nodded, and led me to the door. As he allowed me through first he said, “You do know you can talk to me about anything, right? I do know it’s not too soon in this relationship to be a good listener.” He closed the door, took my hand and led me down the hall.

  I remained silent, knowing now that I really had hurt him. However, I didn’t know what to do about it. I did have feelings for him. I just wasn’t sure what they were. Again, I have never been in close contact with true love, so I can’t just assume anything.

  During the walk to dinner, I kept my head down, not really seeing the beauty I knew lay before me. Upon entering the dining room, I saw that Sandy was already there and had been crying.

  I released Chase’s hand and rushed to her side. “Aunt Sandy, what’s wrong?” I asked as panic over took me.

  From behind me, I heard Chase, “Aunt?” he questioned.

  Sandy and I both turned to look at him. ‘Shit, this was not how I wanted to tell him.’ I thought.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Divided

  ‘Did I just hear Jaden right?’ I questioned silently. If I had heard correctly… damn, yet again I had the wool pulled over my eyes. I can’t believe I had been so stupid. “No need to answer,” I spat out. “I can see it in both of your eyes. From Jaden, I can believe, but you Sandy. You have always been as a second mother to me and to think both of you went behind my back.” My body began to shake as the anger and hurt over took me.

  Jaden stood. “No Chase, you have it all wrong,” she said, her voice cracking.

  I raised my hand halting her. “No Jaden, sadly I believe I have it all right,” I interjected. “So stop with your lies, I’m not buying them any longer.” I took a deep breath trying to calm myself. “I believe you have over stayed your welcome, both of you.” He heard them both gasp. “I will call Charlie to take you home. In the meantime, both of you need to go pack.” With that, I turned and left the room.

  “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” I muttered walking to my office. “How could I be so blind?” Then it hit me. Of course, since Sandy was involved I didn’t doubt it. I should have stuck with my first impression of Jaden. If I had, my heart wouldn’t be breaking right now.

  “Chase?” Sandy said softly from behind me. I ignored her and continued walking. “Chase Steven Daniels, you will look at me when I am talking to you.” Her voice was that of a mother about to scold her child.

  I spun around only to come face to face with her, even though I towered over her. “What?” I barked out.

  Sandy slapped me across the face, my head jerking to the side. “You will not speak to me in that tone. Do you understand?” she said her face red and the veins on her forehead clearly visible.

  “That is the second time a woman had the balls to slap me,” I grounded out. “There will not be a third. What lies do you want to tell me now?”

  Her face softened and tears formed in her eyes. “Chase when will you see that the only one telling lies is you?” she asked.

  I felt myself becoming more pissed. “I’m telling lies?” I yelled. “I’m not the one who lied to get their niece a job or into my bed. What was next? Get me to marry her so the two of you could take me to the cleaners?” I crossed my arms over my chest and stared her down. Challenging her to tell me, I was wrong.

  “Remember when you were eight years old?” She asked. ‘Why in the hell is she changing the subject?’ I wondered, but I nodded anyway. “You were so attached to me.” she got a faraway look in her eyes and a smile on her lips. “As you know, Bob and I couldn’t have children so we adopted you. Your uncle and I loved you very much and always wanted the best for you,” she chuckled. “Sorry, I’m getting off track. You know I do that when I talk about him.” I nodded, still not sure where she was going with all of this. “Anyway, when you were eight I would take you around with me when I went to visit friends. Do you remember that little dark haired three year old girl you made a point in begging me to take you to see?” She waited for me to answer and I slowly nodded, fear filling me. “You walked up to me one day holding her little hand and the biggest smile on both your faces. You said, “’Aunt Sandy, Jaja and I plan to get married.’ Do you remember that?” Again, I slowly nodded. “I said, ‘You need to be in love before you get married.’ You responded, ‘But Aunt Sandy, we are in love. I will love Jaja til the day I die.’ Then you leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.”

  Damn, it had been years since I thought of Jaja. Sandy was right. I did believe I was in love with that little girl. So in love, she had me playing house and with her dolls. “I don’t see what any of this has to do with you and Jaden lying to me,” I said, trying to ignore the strange feeling coming over me.

  Sandy reached out and placed her hand on my arm. “Chase, Jaden is Jaja,” she whispered.

  My mouth fell open, my arms dropped to my sides and I stumbled back. After a few seconds, worry gripped me. “Sandy, so help me God, if you’re lying…” I growled. “That is not a memory to fuck with.”

  She smiled. “Chase, I’m not lying now nor was I hiding anything when Jaden came in for the job,” she said. “I will admit, when I spoke to her on the phone I had a feeling. However, it wasn’t until after she ran away crying and I had her background check in hand, that I figured it out. I didn’t badger you into hiring her because she is blood. I wanted you to hire her because she finally deserved a real chance and I believed she could do the job.”

  I sighed and ran a hand over my face and through my hair. “I fucked up again, didn’t I?” I asked.

  Sandy’s face fell. “I’m afraid so Chase,” she answered. “And this time I fear for good.”

  Confused, I asked, “What do you mean? Where is she?”

  Sandy shook her head. “She called Charlie herself and left, crying again,” she answered. “She has spent her entire life being used and abused. She said you told her you loved her then shattered her heart.”

  Dumbfounded, I whispered, “But she said it was too soon. How could I shatter her heart if she doesn’t love me?”

  Sandy laughed. “You really have no idea as to the workings of a screwed up woman, do you?” she asked. I shook my head. “She hasn’t known love since her father. True she has two loving friends, but the love between a man and woman is different. I believe she does love you, she just doesn’t know how to recognize it.”

  “How do you know so much?” I asked. “You have known love.”

  Her smile faded. “I was Jaden once,” she answered. “Right now the details aren’t important. However, I will tell you this much. Mine and Dory’s mother, Jaden’s grandmother, did the same to us as Dory had done to Jaden. Why do you think I couldn’t have children?”

  I shook my head. “Did Uncle Bob know?” I asked.

  She nodded. “I finally told him a year after we were married,” she answered. “I was so afraid he wouldn’t want me anymore. I had believed I was broken and my darkness was going to be too much for him.”

  My head snapped back to Sandy’s face. “That’s what Jaden said to me,” I whispered. “What should I do? She can’t be at that apartment. She has no food and water. I just don’t know what to say to her.”

  “I’m not sure if there is anything you could say,” she confessed. “When she left she was really hurt
and she said to tell you she quit and that she would be cutting the card up when she got home.”

  “Fuck!” I shouted running my hand through my hair. “What have I done? I have destroyed everything.”

  “No Chase,” Sandy said shaking her head. “Samantha is the one to blame and when I get my hands on her…” she stopped and wiped her forehead. “Go to her Chase. Bare yourself and tell her about Samantha. The worst that can happen is she will tell you to leave.”

  I nodded. “Does Jaden remember back to when we were kids?” I asked.

  Sandy shook her head. “I don’t think so,” she answered. “I haven’t said anything nor has she. But you have to remember she was only three.”

  “Go eat dinner and tell Hazel to just leave some in the warmer,” I said. “I’m going to try to bring her home.”

  Sandy smiled. “I hope so,” she said. “Just remember, I’ve known you longer so it’s easier for me to forgive you, and a lot faster than Jaden.”

  I nodded, turned, and headed for the garage. At this time of night, the roads should be clear so I will take the sports car and drive like hell.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Broken

  I turned onto Jaden’s street wondering how much I really screwed up. I saw Charlie pull away and Jaden stumbling up the steps. I quickly pulled over and got out.

  I stood at the bottom of the steps and called to her, “Jaden?”

  She stilled and slowly turned to face me. Her face was red and her eyes were swollen. My heart fell knowing that I was the reason. “What do you want Chase?” she asked. “Weren’t you finished throwing insults in my face?”

  I shoved my hands in my pockets, not able to look her in the eyes. “I’m sorry,” I muttered. “Will you please give me a few minutes to explain? I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m still asking.”

  She let a breath out. “Fine,” she answered and I lifted my head to look at her. “But you’re carrying my bag.” She turned and walked through the door leaving her bag and I outside.

  I quickly ran up the steps, picking her bag up along the way and entered the building. I didn’t see her, only her door standing open at the end of the hall. I walked in closing the door behind me. “Jaden,” I called.

  From somewhere in the apartment I heard her answer, “Leave the bag. I’m in the bathroom, give me a minute.”

  I could hear the hurt in her voice. ‘How could I have misjudged her, not twice but three times?’ I thought as I took a seat on her broken down couch. ‘I have to get her out of this dump. She deserves more.’

  She walked in then, her hair pulled back and she had changed. She walked over to her IPOD, pressed a few buttons, and then set it back down again. She continued to stand there, looking out the window, not moving or speaking. The song that began to play said it all for her, ‘Holy Water, by Big and Rich’. All she wanted was someone to call her angel and put that light back in her eyes; probably the light that was there all those years ago when we were children and before her father died.

  I wanted to see if she remembered, so I said the only thing I could think of, “I’m sorry, Jaja.” She spun around, mouth agape, and tears rolling down her face. I smiled. “So you do remember?” she nodded. “I thought you looked familiar when you came into my office. However, it wasn’t until tonight when Sandy reminded me of all those years ago.” I didn’t move; I was afraid I would scare her away. “I loved you then and I love you now. I know what I said can’t be taken back, but I would like the chance to explain why I act like that, if you’ll let me.”

  She nodded, walked over to the other end of the couch and sat down. “You can explain, but I won’t make any promises,” she said.

  I nodded. “Fair enough,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I have always been a romantic with a very kinky side in the bedroom. It is something you haven’t seen, yet. It was difficult finding a woman who enjoyed the same things as I do. Don’t get me wrong, for the right woman I would put all my kinkiness away just to be with her. Then I met Samantha. She was perfect, or so I thought, blonde hair, blue eyes, and a model’s body. The stuff most men only dream about. She and I were together for two years when I decided to ask her to marry me.” I stopped and took a breath. “I got home early to surprise her. However, she had a surprise for me. I found her in bed with a friend.” I chuckled and shook my head. I turned to look at Jaden. She was frozen in place and tear were running down her face. “Do you know what she said to me while I packed?” Jaden shook her head. “As I was packing my bags, she said something that rocked my world. ‘Awe, come on Chase. Don’t you know that all women want one thing and one thing only, money?’ She laughed then. ‘Don’t look so shocked. I never gave you any indication that I wanted anything more than that.’ My heart was crushed and my ego was wounded, I left with my head held down. It was my apartment and I left.” I sat there, staring off into space, not sure if I was getting anywhere with Jaden. I shrugged. “Sorry to say that is my excuse for being such a prick. It’s not much of an excuse, but… I have loved you since I was a child. You were my world for a long time. Please don’t give up on me.” I just didn’t know what else to say.

  We sat there in silence, listening to the music play on a loop. Both of us were too afraid to move. I felt us drifting further and further apart and it scared the shit out of me. ‘I wish she would say something.’ I thought. ‘Anything is better than the silence.’

  “I remember you playing house with me,” she finally said. I chuckled and nodded. “And my dolls, you never could tell me no.”

  “No I couldn’t,” I said.

  She smiled. “I remember the day you told Aunt Sandy that we were going to get married and she said we needed to be in love first,” she whispered. “You told her we were and then you kissed me. You always called me Jaja, just like my dad.”

  I nodded. “Yes, I remember,” I said. “You were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Now you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.” I hung my head. “If I had only known what happened to you I would have taken you away. I would have protected you.”

  “Chase, you need to leave,” she whispered. “I can’t do this.”

  I turned to look at her, yet her head was turned away from me. “You can’t mean that Jaden,” I pleaded.

  She nodded and looked at me. “I have my crazy and you have yours,” she explained. “I don’t think two crazies are a good combination. I think we could really damage each other.”

  “But I love you and I want to make this work,” I argued.

  She shook her head. “No Chase, you don’t,” she replied. “Even if you did love me, I wouldn’t be able to return the feeling. I told you before, I’m broken. My mom and sister made sure of that. I wouldn’t know love if it kicked me in the ass.”

  I started to feel angry. “I damn well know what I feel,” I said, raising my voice a bit. “My head may have been fucked with, but I still have control of my heart,” I shook my head. “At least I did until you.” I slide across the couch and took her hands in mine. “Please give us a chance. Things aren’t going to fix themselves over night, but given time, we can win. Let me show you what it feels like to love.”

  She yanked her hands free and stood. “And what will happen the next time you misunderstand something?” she asked angrily. “Are you going to give me a chance to explain or are you going to throw hurtful words at me again?” She stalked over to the door, not waiting for me to respond, and opened it. I stood and followed her. She held the door open. “Leave Chase and never come back.”

  I searched her eyes and what I saw said, ‘Don’t let me slip away Chase.’ My heart replied, ‘But you’re forcing my hand Jaden.’

  I took a step closer to the door and turned. “Do you remember what I said to you after we made love the first time?” I asked. She looked at me as if she were confused. “’I am not leaving you, I’m merely stepping back so you can just breathe.’ That is all this is. I am not giving up on you or us.” Then I turned and walked o
ut her door. As I pushed through the main door, I called over my shoulder, “Oh and Angel, I will see you at work tomorrow.” I heard her gasp as I walked out the door.

  Author Bio

  Angela Fattig spent most of her childhood reading any book she could find. That's when her passion of writing was born. When she was 10, she started writing short stories and poems and kept quite a collection.

  In 1998, she met Paul and they have shared a life together for 15 years. In 1999, she introduced the world to her first born, Brandi, and again in 2000, Sarah.

  Today, when she is not doing what she loves, writing, she spends time with her beautiful family and the addition of two dogs named Izzy and Herly.

  Angela's inspirations have always been Stephen King, Dean Knootz, Anne Rice, E L James, and Poe.