Absolution Road

by Rachel Blaufeld

  Then he did what I so desperately wanted. He held himself over me while he guided himself slowly inside me, inch by delicious inch, until his length hit the deepest part of me, touching me where none of my previous lovers had.

  Oh my God. I’d heard of the G-spot, and now I knew what all the raving was about on the pages of Cosmo and Marie Claire. I always considered those magazines to be for other women—gorgeous, sensual woman who were nothing like me—but I would definitely have to hit the newsstand this week.

  Jake’s breathing hitched as he started sliding in and out of me at a leisurely pace, hitting that spot over and over, each time dragging a louder moan from my throat.

  “You feel so fucking good,” he said in a hushed voice. “So tight and wet. Like heaven but better, because you’re Aly.”

  His hand brought both of mine back over my head like when we were against the wall, and he picked up the pace. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any more wonderful, his free hand reached for my clit. I never knew I adored my clit so much, but when his finger flicked over the nub, my back came off the bed.

  This time it wasn’t fireworks, more an explosion like a bomb or a nuclear weapon. Something out of this world rocketed through me, draining me completely.

  Sated, I lay on the pillows, the sheet drawn up over my chest while Jake went to dispose of the condom.

  “I don’t have any towels,” I called out as the reality of my situation hit me.

  I’d been forced from my home and was living in a rental property owned by the man I’d just made love with—or slept with, whatever it was. The same man who was walking toward me, holding a wet washcloth and wearing nothing but a wide grin.

  “It’s okay,” he said. “I had some stocked in the bathroom from the gym.”

  Jake gently cleaned me up, tossed the towel on the floor, and gathered me in his arms and held me until I fell asleep, this wonderful man who must have let Maverick out to pee while I slept.

  And he was the same man who was snoring softly next to me when I woke up Monday morning.

  Jake

  I was late. Wearing the same rumpled clothes I’d worn yesterday, I threw the truck in DRIVE and hit the road. In all my years of mindless fucking, I’d never slept in, missed a workout or bailed on my routine. I felt strange. Not like myself.

  With Camper, we never spent the night together. She’d wanted to, but I wouldn’t allow it. Before her, there’d been Courtney. I’d been semi-serious with her, taking Christmas ski trips and having sleepovers, but I never fucking missed my morning gym time.

  I’d woken up in the bed with Aly, the sleigh bed or whatever the fuck they’d called it. The one I’d bought for the rental, bought for her, denying it every step of the freaking way. The spot next to me had been warm and soft as I’d reached my arm around. I’d been sated and content, my mind neither running nor tense, and my cock hard as a fucking sledgehammer.

  My heart was beating like I was pumping iron as I turned onto the main drag toward the gym. What the fuck?

  Aly had been lying there quietly when I turned to face her, and her eyes met mine. I’d brought my hand to meet her cheek and she’d whispered, “Good morning.”

  Aly. With her big smile and soft expression as she looked at me, Aly’s green eyes had said what I feared most in life. I like you. Want more from you.

  People shouldn’t like me or want more from me because I wasn’t whole. I couldn’t give more. Tainted and impure, I was nothing but a shell of a man, good looking on the outside, but that was it.

  That was when it hit me. My hand banged the dash as I turned into my parking lot. That was why I didn’t feel like me.

  I felt whole.

  But I wasn’t whole. I had a past. A bad one.

  Aly saw through that. But why?

  She saw me as good, and wasn’t that what I wanted? To protect her?

  Apparently some of her goodness was rubbing off on me, but it shouldn’t stick. It couldn’t. Not on someone like me.

  When I swung open the front door to Fizzle, Chloe gave me a concerned look from the front desk.

  “Everything okay, Jake?” she asked, pushing her chest out toward me. Somewhere along the way, she’d gotten the wrong idea about her and me.

  “Yeah, why?” I stopped and leaned my elbows on the counter, averting my gaze.

  “You missed your workout. And you weren’t here when I opened up.” She made a silly pouty face that a few months ago, I would have considered sticking my cock into just to make it go away.

  “Changing it up, Chlo. A guy can change it up.” No way I was going to put my anxiety, fear, or fucking feelings on display where I worked. “Anything happening?” I asked.

  “No. I got all the guest passes ready for the baseball guys like you wanted and put them on your desk in the back.”

  She sat up high on her stool, her blond hair twisted in a braid and her tits spilling out of a Fizzle tank. It didn’t do much for me anymore. It was like the standard uniform for a gym worker. These days, I jerked off to tight black slacks and blouses, unbuttoned and revealing cleavage.

  “Cool! Thanks. I’m going to hit the weights and then head straight to my office.”

  After I changed into workout gear, I went straight for the free weights section of my gym and racked weighted plates onto a bar. Then I bench-pressed until I couldn’t feel my pecs anymore.

  The gym was still quiet, mostly college girls on the treadmills and a few grad students pretending to be tough on the elliptical. The early-morning hours, lunch, and evenings were our busiest times, but I suspected when word got out the professional ball players were dropping by mid-morning at both our locations, traffic would increase.

  With the tension mostly bled from my body, I showered and went to work. I threw on a pair of track pants and a Fizzle T-shirt I kept in my locker, then strode back to my office. I made calls, checked invoices, and ordered some more equipment for the new gym. The bank had granted me a sizable line of credit due to my current success, not to mention my clean financial record thanks to Lane bailing me out a few times.

  Lane was in for a third on the new place. Actually, Bess was. He’d put it in her name so she would have some equity.

  Mid-morning, Chloe popped her head in and reported that a few members of the baseball team and their trainers were here and ready to work out. She couldn’t hide how smitten she was with the men. I gave them a quick tour and set them up in the free-weight station with a new brand of weighted balls I was carrying.

  Back in my office, I pulled out my phone and sent a text.

  ME: How did it work with the bus?

  I returned a few e-mails, mostly to vendors, while I waited for a reply.

  ALY: Good. Came on time and took me right where I needed to go.

  ME: Still wish you would’ve let me drive you.

  Christ, what the hell was going on with me? I had no control over my fingers and their typing.

  ALY: I wanted to see how to get the bus from there. Anyway, taking a half day. Going to run the steps and grocery shop. Thank you for everything.

  ME: When are you stair running?

  ALY: Why?

  ME: I want to check out your legs.

  Because I’m a sick, twisted man who wants you, I thought, but can’t keep you.

  ALY: Huh-uh. Not working out with you.

  ME: How about dinner?

  ALY: I’ll cook.

  ME: At my place.

  ALY: Which one?

  ME: Mine. Where I live. The rental is yours.

  ALY: Okay.

  ME: Okay? Just like that? No arguing?

  ALY: Okay. Can I bring Mav?

  ME: Pick you both up at 6:30.

  ALY: Okay.

  I needed to check on my baseball players, but first I made one more important call. To my shrink. I was going to need to see her soon. Like yesterday.

  I felt like I was standing there in my body, but it wasn’t me inside anymore . . . or some shit like that.

&nb
sp; It was still light out when I pulled up in front of my rental and jumped out to get Aly and the puppy. They were waiting on the front stoop, Aly’s legs in painted-on jeans, and Mav’s tail wagging.

  Pushing back any doubts, I approached the pair. “Hey!”

  “Hey!”

  “Are you settled? Feeling okay?” I surveyed the neighborhood and spotted a dark blue Ford Explorer down the street. Aly didn’t notice it, but it must be my guy.

  “I’m good. We need to discuss rent.” She unfolded her long legs and stood up from the steps, her hair falling to one side of her face.

  Leaning close, I kissed her closed mouth gently. Then I grabbed the leash and pushed her up against the brick wall and kissed her not so gently, fucking her mouth with my tongue.

  Once we were both out of breath, I said, “Come on, let’s go before I fuck you up against this wall for the whole neighborhood to see.”

  Her eyes grew wide and she opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

  “Let’s roll, Aly-cat.” I grabbed her hand and guided her to the sidewalk.

  We hustled into the truck and after we’d been on the road a few minutes, she asked, “So, what is this?”

  I glanced at her, but her eyes remained transfixed on the road in front of us. “What? Dinner?”

  She turned toward me. “Jake, listen, I know I’m not experienced like you. But I am independent. I’ve been in charge of my fate since day one, and I also may not be well traveled or indulged, but I need to ask. What is this? Us. A one-night thing? A one-month deal? You testing the waters in a different place?”

  I kept my eyes in front of me as I said, “A good place. Not testing, but seeing. Seeing what can be or could be. I don’t know, Al, but when I saw you in the jail, I was inspired.”

  “By my legs?” A smile turned up in the corner of her red lips.

  “Yes.” I faced her and winked. “I wanted you in the worst way, but then the idea of you stayed with me. We kept running into each other, and I don’t know. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel one hundred percent bad.”

  “Jake,” she said, her voice full of warning.

  “Aly, I’m bad.” I gripped the steering wheel fiercely. “What I did. Even if I was young and didn’t know, I should’ve done something about Shirley sometime in all these years.”

  “You didn’t know, couldn’t know what to do. Like my mom. How could she have known my dad’s accident wasn’t an accident?”

  I turned to cross the bridge over to the North Side as dusk fell, coloring the sky purple and dark blue. “That’s different. You two didn’t know. I’m not a decent person, but I’m trying. Lane is making a life, and I want to also. I just don’t know what that life looks like.”

  “And us?”

  “I don’t know what that looks like either, but with me, you’ll be safe.”

  My mind churned. Physically, she’d be safe; I’d protect her against anything or anyone. As for her heart, I wasn’t so sure about how safe that was. But I liked how I was feeling too much to consider the other options.

  Parked inside my garage, we got out of the truck and she followed me into my home. All of a sudden, I wondered if she’d stay the night. I desperately wanted her to sleep next to me, to wake up next to her and slip deep inside her as morning broke the sky. I clenched my palm at my side, punishing myself for turning into such a pussy-whipped, lovesick idiot.

  At the top of the stairs, I placed my hand on her lower back and guided her toward the kitchen. “Want a drink?”

  “Just some water. So, what should we make?”

  “We could grill. I have chicken and vegetables. And angel food cake with berries for dessert.”

  Her eyes lit up like the dashboard of my Hummer. “Dessert?”

  “I promised.”

  “Good thing I ran a few extra flights today.”

  I meant to get the chicken out of the fridge but cornered her against the counter, my hand roaming down her thigh. “I’m going to have to go out of business because that whole running stairs is apparently way better than working out in a gym.”

  She laughed.

  “I’m not kidding, those stairs are going to put me out of business.”

  My nose grazed the tip of hers as my hand continued its descent down her thigh before climbing back up again. Her quad muscle flexed under my fingers, and a moan escaped my mouth. We stayed like that a beat or two, our breaths in sync, and my hand fell once again—this time not stopping until behind her knee. I lifted her right leg and pulled it around my waist, leaning her ass into the granite counter, and pressed my cock into her heat. Need seeped through her jeans, permeating the kitchen with lust.

  I moved my lips to hers and kissed her.

  Aly

  My tailbone rested on the counter as Jake held me in place, his erection making itself well known against my seated thigh. I tried to lift my pelvis for more pressure, hunting down the release I experienced the other night, but he wouldn’t allow it. Jake’s hand remained firm on my hip, keeping me exactly where he wanted me until he released my lips and was on the move.

  On his way down there, down below.

  Oh. My. God.

  “It’s Jake. Maybe even Jason if you’re good.”

  “I said that out loud?”

  “Yeah.”

  His mouth grazed my belly button as he spoke. His left hand had my shirt lifted slightly and he was causing a forest of goose pimples to grow all over my stomach. He licked his way down to the top of my jeans, and with one flick of his fingers, they were unbuttoned. Sadly, he pulled his tongue away from my skin, but only for the ten seconds it took him to pull off my boots and tug down my jeans. I lifted my hips and shimmied my butt off the counter to help.

  This, he allowed. Then he pried my thighs as wide as they would go and brought his face where only one man had ever done so before. At first, it was a light caress, a tender teasing with his tongue. A touch here, a swipe there, looking for the spot, but there wasn’t a particular spot that was more sensitive than any other. I was a goner the second the tip of his tongue grazed the edge of my vagina. Or was it my pussy? How was I supposed to refer to myself down there when Jake was clearly getting down and dirty and making me wild?

  Jake tilted me back on the counter and dove in harder. He attacked my core with a skillful vengeance, a sense of purpose I’d never experienced from a man. The back of my head rested on the cabinet, my eyes squeezed shut as I took in every nip, lick, and taste. My pelvis reached and my hips strained for every movement. My lower body certainly didn’t want to miss out on anything related to Jake’s tongue.

  “Stop squirming,” he demanded.

  “Jake?”

  He kept his hands where they were, but looked up at me. My green eyes and his blue ones were like two differently charged magnets. “I don’t have much experience with this,” I admitted.

  “Even better. Ready for me to rock your world?”

  He didn’t wait for an answer. He dipped back in, his tongue sliding down my fold and up the other. Finally, he made his way to slip his tongue deep inside me and sucked me to the brink of orgasm. His thumb drummed my clit—that damn clit, I barely knew it existed a month ago.

  My pussy pulsed with need as I felt his tongue driving in and out of me, my clit swollen, my libido awakened and doing a happy dance. Tiny moans and whimpers and pleas and begs for more continued to spill from me.

  I was on the precipice, on the verge of something even more unknown than the night before, when Jake pulled away his tongue and blew a warm breath on my clit before stroking it with his even warmer tongue. My orgasm ripped through me, my muscles tensing, blood surging through my veins, and my head swam with visions of Jake’s tongue tasting me.

  Sweat lined the back of my neck underneath my hair, my hands shook from the climax channeling through every one of my limbs, and Jake didn’t let up. He lapped up every last shiver as his tongue eased up on its pace, slowing and cooling me.

  “Wish I coul
d eat you every night for dinner.” He winked as he stood up, adjusting his pants.

  In response, I opened my eyes and reached for the top of his jeans.

  “Huh-uh, ladies only tonight. Now we eat. Get dressed.”

  “No, that’s not fair.”

  “Remember? I’m in control. I’m in charge, and I say it’s dinnertime. Tonight’s all about you, Aly-cat.”

  On shaky legs, I stood and reluctantly slipped back into my pants so we could make chicken and grilled vegetables together. We saved the angel food cake for later, but we never ate it.

  I got a chance to return Jake the favor from earlier, and it was much sweeter.

  Tuesday I woke up in Jake’s bed. Alone. Next to me on the pillow was a note. It was a ripped page from a 2010 calendar, and Jake’s very messy handwriting was scrawled across the lines in red marker.

  Hey, Aly-cat! Good morning. I left to work out. Took Mav to the gym with me. Don’t be mad. Make yourself at home. I left my iPad on the counter with the bus schedule pulled up. I know how you insist on taking it. I’ll swing by YOUR place and drop Mav later.

  —JW

  THANKS for a great night.

  What the heck did that mean? Thanks for a great night? He took my dog to work? Our dog? I ran my hand over my face, rubbing my eyes, certainly smearing yesterday’s mascara everywhere. What time was it?

  I rolled over in bed and found the clock. It wasn’t even six thirty in the morning. What time did this guy work out? Luscious memories of his body hovering over me, his biceps flexing, sweat running down his chest as he made love to—or slept with—me ran through my mind. Okay, so I had a one-night stand, or maybe a few-nights stand. Was there such a thing?

  Get over yourself, Aly. People do it all the time. It’s the twenty-first century, and women can have sex whenever and with whoever they want.

  I tossed my legs out of bed and stumbled on sore limbs to the bathroom. There was a folded towel on the counter, and I took that as an invitation to shower. Afterward, I put back my jeans back on from the day before—without underwear—and smoothed the creases out of my white blouse.