Mac’s question tore her heart into pieces. There were no words to comfort him, to take his anguish away. Then she remembered the words of the twenty-third Psalm and began reciting them. She emphasized the words, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.”
Listening to her softly spoken words, Mac drew in a deep, calming breath, then another. He pulled back and stared at her, his hands framing her face. “You’re right. The Lord will guide me.”
“Tell Mrs. Hocks your desire to adopt Johnny. Maybe it will make a difference. Maybe his aunt doesn’t want to adopt him.”
Resting his forehead against hers, Mac tunneled his fingers through her hair. “I love Johnny, but I can’t deny him his true family for my selfish needs.”
Tess gripped his forearms. “Don’t say that. You’re not selfish. You took him into your home and gave him a family when he needed it the most, when no one else wanted him. There was nothing selfish about that.”
He gathered her again to him, so close she could feel his heart pounding. Its slow, tormented beat passed into her body, matching the rhythm of hers.
“Johnny may not want to go with his aunt. Have you thought about that?”
“Yes, but I can’t influence him unduly. I have to give it a chance to work for Johnny. Family is important.”
“Family is more than a mere blood relationship.”
Mac sighed. “It would have been so much easier if Mrs. Hocks hadn’t found any relatives.”
“Life doesn’t always follow the easy path.”
“I know, but that doesn’t stop me from wishing it would.” He straightened away from Tess, shadows in his eyes. “God only puts what we can handle before us. We’d better return to our guests before they begin to wonder.”
“Are you kidding! Johnny and Amy are too busy playing with their puppies, and in case you haven’t noticed, Colt and Casey are too busy having eyes only for each other.”
Tess walked beside Mac, his hand in hers. His earlier words about God only giving them what they could deal with made her take another look at what had happened to her in South America. She was a stronger person because of the tragedy, and with her recent return to the Lord, each day her faith grew. She realized that He had spared her because He had plans for her.
“Tess, don’t say anything. I want to tell Johnny about his aunt after dinner. I don’t want to spoil this evening.”
“I’m not very good at acting.”
“Neither am I, but we have to. It’s important.”
She squeezed his hand. “I know.”
The minute Mac stepped outside, Amy ran up to him. “Daddy, I’m hungry. Can we go eat now?”
He scooped her into his arms and hugged her tightly to him. “Of course, pumpkin. Where do you want to go for pizza?”
“Bear Country.”
“I don’t know why I bother asking.” Shaking his head, he rolled his eyes. “That’s the only place she wants to go out to eat. She loves the dancing bears, but her favorite part of the show is the singing chipmunk that pops up from the log. She laughs every time he performs.”
“’Cause he’s funny, Daddy.”
“We can all pile into my car if you all don’t mind close quarters,” Mac said to the group.
Tess noticed his big grin, but she hoped she was the only one who saw the dull flatness to his eyes. This would be a difficult evening, but she was determined to stay as long as he needed her.
After the children put their puppies in the utility room, everyone crammed into Mac’s vehicle. Colt and Casey didn’t seem to mind being crunched together in the back with Amy in her car seat. The close quarters in front allowed Tess to place her arm around Johnny.
Fifteen minutes later they arrived at Bear Country Pizza House where loud noises during the shows made it almost impossible for any conversation to take place. Thankfully the next show wasn’t starting for another twenty minutes.
After everyone gave their order to the waitress, Amy hopped down from her booster chair. “I want to ride the helicopter. Can Johnny take me?”
“Sure, if he doesn’t mind.” While Johnny stood, Mac dug into his pocket for some quarters and came up with a fist full. “You two split this. The pizzas should be here in fifteen minutes.”
Johnny took the money, then Amy’s hand and they headed for the arcade area of the restaurant. Mac kept an eye on the pair as they went from ride to ride, his smile no longer on his face, the feelings he was holding at bay clearly visible in his eyes.
“Okay, I can tell something’s wrong, big brother. ’Fess up.”
“Mrs. Hocks found Johnny’s aunt.”
“That’s gre—” Casey narrowed her gaze on Mac. “That isn’t great. I thought that was what everyone was waiting for.”
Mac peered at his sister for a few seconds before swinging his attention to the children. “I’ve come to think of Johnny as part of our family.”
“Oh, Mac.” Casey reached out and patted her brother’s hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Here they come. Not a word. Johnny doesn’t know, and I don’t want anything to ruin this dinner.”
While the children settled into their seats, the waitress brought their pizzas. Mac said a quick blessing just as the show started. Loud music sounded from the speakers not too far from their table, drowning out all conversation.
Taking a slice with Canadian bacon and extra cheese, Tess watched the show while forcing herself to eat at least some pizza. But her food settled in her stomach like a rock and her heart wasn’t in the fun songs and silly jokes. She tried to laugh at all the appropriate places, but she was sure anyone paying close attention could see the strain about her mouth and hear the brittleness in her laugh.
By the time they left the pizza parlor, Tess felt her nerves stretched to their limit and her stomach muscles constricted into a tight ball. A glance at Mac confirmed he was experiencing the same thing. Even Casey didn’t chatter on the ride to Mac’s house.
Tess knew Johnny suspected something when Mac said goodbye to his sister and friend, then asked Johnny and Amy to come into the den. The boy dragged his feet down the hall, and worry nibbled at his expression as he plopped down on the couch across from Mac.
“Did the doctor call or something? I feel fine. Honest.” Johnny folded his arms across his stomach and got that defiant look on his face that had all but disappeared in the past weeks at Mac’s.
“No, Johnny. You’re still in remission. You’re doing everything you’re supposed to.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“Mrs. Hocks came this afternoon to see me about you.” Mac paused, cleared his throat, then continued, “She found your aunt, Dottie Brown.”
“I don’t remember her.”
“She remembers you and is coming to see you the day after tomorrow.”
Mac forced a light tone, but Tess could see the anguish each word caused. A nerve in his jaw jerked, and his hands were clasped together so tightly Tess could see his white knuckles.
“Why?” Johnny’s defiant look wavered.
“She wants you to come live with her.”
Johnny shot off the couch, his hands clenched at his sides. “I don’t want to live with no stranger. I don’t remember her.”
“Perhaps when you see her—”
“No!” Johnny shouted and raced from the room.
“Daddy? Daddy, don’t send Johnny away.” Tears rolled down Amy’s cheeks. “I don’t want him to go. Please.”
Mac held his arms out for Amy. “Honey, Dottie Brown is Johnny’s family.”
Amy ignored her father’s outstretched arms. “No, we are.” She ran from the room, her sobs echoing in the silence.
Mac dropped his arms to his lap. “I don’t want him to go, either,” he whispered, all the pain he felt lacing each word.
Chapter Twelve
The doorbell sounded in the stillness like a death toll. Mac stiffened
. On the couch, Amy grabbed Johnny’s hand and held tight. Tess felt the beat of her heart pick up and thunder in her ears.
Mac signaled Nina to remain seated, then surged to his feet on the second chime, his features set in a neutral expression that Tess knew cost him dearly to maintain. The rigid set to his stance attested to the real emotions underlying his facade.
“She’s here,” Amy whispered so loudly she might as well have shouted the news.
Tess wanted to go to Johnny and scoop him into her arms. She wanted to declare to Mrs. Hocks and Dottie Brown that Johnny was perfectly happy where he was. Instead, Tess remained seated in the wing chair across from the boy, there for support for Johnny, Mac and Amy. This whole day, members of Mac’s family had stopped by to see Johnny and say their goodbyes. Several times Tess had seen the boy nearly break down in tears, but somehow he pulled himself together with that stalwart expression that was on his face now as though nothing could touch him. Tess knew otherwise. She had been there herself and felt his pain as if it were her own.
Johnny watched as Mrs. Hocks and his aunt entered the den. Amy’s gaze widened, and she leaned closer to him.
Tess forced a smile of greeting that quivered at the corners of her mouth and disappeared almost as quickly as it appeared. “Good day, Mrs. Hocks.”
“Tess, it’s good to see you,” the older woman said.
Mac came in behind the two ladies, his eyes dark gray. “Johnny, do you have everything?”
The boy nodded but didn’t move.
“Johnny, this is your aunt Dottie.” Mrs. Hocks gestured to the woman next to her.
Dottie moved to the end of the couch, her expression restrained as she took in her nephew. “It’s been a while since we last saw each other. Are you ready to go?”
Johnny looked toward Mac, and for a fleeting moment desperation edged its way into the boy’s eyes before he masked his feelings behind his world-weary expression.
“Where’s your suitcase?” his aunt asked.
Johnny pointed to several black pieces sitting near the doorway.
“Then we’d better get going. I’m sure these good people have things they need to do.”
“Oh, no. We don’t want Johnny to leave,” Amy exclaimed, her body pressed against his side, her hand on his arm as though that would keep him there.
“Amy, we’ve talked about this.”
“But, Daddy, we don’t.”
Mac positioned himself behind the couch and clamped his hands on Amy’s shoulders while she released her grip on the boy. “Johnny, do you want me to help you with your stuff?”
“Yes, please.” The boy jumped to his feet and raced from the room.
“Where’s he going?” Dottie asked, alarmed at her nephew’s sudden move.
“He probably forgot something,” Mac said, taking Amy’s hand and walking to the luggage.
Johnny reappeared a minute later with Frisky in his arms. “I’m ready to leave.”
“A puppy?” Alarmed, Dottie looked at Mrs. Hocks. “You didn’t say anything about a puppy. I—”
“I’ll take real good care of Frisky.” Johnny held the animal cradled against his chest, his face buried in her fur. “Won’t I, Nina? She never has to clean up after Frisky.”
Nina cleared her throat, started to say something, then instead, nodded, a sheen to her eyes. She spun away, pretending an interest in something on the coffee table.
Doubt clouded his aunt’s expression. “We’ll try her tonight and see.”
Relieved, Johnny kissed his puppy’s head, fighting the tears threatening him. For a long moment everyone just stared at the boy, the silence in the room deafening.
“Let’s go,” Mrs. Hocks said, the sound unusually loud.
Johnny took a step back and came up against Mac.
He laid a reassuring hand on the boy’s shoulder, leaned down and said, “Don’t forget to write. When you get settled, we’ll call you.”
Johnny nodded, his lower lip trembling.
“May I have a word with you, Mr. MacPherson, in private?” Dottie asked.
“You all go ahead.” Mac motioned toward the children, Nina and Mrs. Hocks. “Tess, stay please.”
Both Amy and Johnny hesitated.
“I’ll just be a minute.”
The children followed Mrs. Hocks and Nina from the room, leaving the three adults to face each other. Tess felt the tension emanating from Mac in waves and wished she could take his pain away.
“I want to thank you for taking care of my nephew. I also want to ask you not to call him. Let him settle in and get used to me first. I’ll call you when I think he’s ready.”
Anger flared in his eyes. Mac opened his mouth to say something, clamped it shut and nodded curtly instead.
“Good. I’m glad we understand each other. From what I remember he can be quite a handful. I’m sure it hasn’t been easy for you these past few months.”
“Actually Johnny has been great. We’ve enjoyed his company,” Mac said, his voice strained as though it would crack any moment. He snatched up the two pieces of luggage while he gathered his composure.
In the foyer Johnny had his face pressed up against Frisky’s wiggling body. He didn’t look at Mac or Tess when they came out of the den. He didn’t look at anyone. Tess’s heart broke, anguish compressing her chest.
Dear Heavenly Father, please give us the strength to get through this. Be with Johnny in his new home and help him to adjust to his new situation. He cannot do this alone. He needs You. Saying the silent prayer gave Tess comfort in the midst of the turmoil that swirled about her. She did draw strength from the words and the knowledge that God was with them, especially Johnny in his time of need.
“Well, we must be going,” Mrs. Hocks announced, withdrawing her keys from her purse.
Tears crowded Johnny’s eyes. When he blinked several times, one lone tear fell. He sniffed and turned away from the group, his shoulders hunched, his head bowed as he clutched his puppy.
The constriction in Tess’s chest expanded. She sucked in a deep breath to ease the tightness. Making her way to the small boy huddled in front of the door, so lost and alone-looking, she took him and Frisky into her embrace and kissed his cheek. She half expected him to say yuck and pull away. He didn’t. He drew closer to her as though her nearness could give him the strength he needed to walk out the door.
“Remember, the Lord is with you. You aren’t alone,” Tess whispered.
He nodded once and finally pulled back, still clasping Frisky as though the puppy were his lifeline.
Tess moved to the side and allowed Amy, Nina and Mac to say their goodbyes. Amy cried, throwing her arms around Johnny and refusing to let go. Mac gently pried her loose and gestured for Nina to hold her while Mac turned to Johnny.
“It has been such a pleasure to have you in my house.” Mac glanced at Johnny’s aunt and added, “You’re always welcome here.” He hugged the boy, then backed away, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.
Tess took Mac’s hand while Mrs. Hocks opened the door and Johnny and his aunt left. The click of the lock sounded in the deadly quiet and seemed to echo through the spacious foyer, announcing Johnny’s departure as final. Amy’s sobs cut into the silence and propelled Mac into action. He took his daughter into his arms and held her tightly against him, her cheek pressed against his chest, his chin resting on top of her head.
“Baby, we will see Johnny again. I know that in here.” Mac touched the place over his heart. “God didn’t bring him into our lives only to take him away.”
“I don’t know about you, Amy, but I could use a large glass of milk and some of the chocolate chip cookies I baked this afternoon.” Nina stroked the child’s back.
Lifting her head, Amy sniffled. “Cookies? Chocolate chip?”
“Your favorite. Ready to help me devour a whole plate of them?”
“I won’t ruin my dinner?”
“Since when has that concerned you, young lady? Come on.”
&
nbsp; When Mac set Amy on the floor, she took Nina’s hand and headed with the housekeeper toward the kitchen. Mac stared at the departing pair, his gaze clouded, a frown on his face.
“I’m calling Johnny. I don’t care what his aunt said. I can’t let that child think I’ve abandoned him. He’s had enough of that in his short life.” Mac flexed his hands, then curled them slowly.
Tess wrapped her fingers around one fist and brought it up between them. “Let Mrs. Hocks know you would like to adopt Johnny.”
“Oh, I intend to first thing tomorrow morning. Dottie Brown may be Johnny’s aunt, but we are more his family than she.” He relaxed his grip, brushing one finger across her cheek. “Pray with me, Tess. I need all the help I can get.”
“Of course.”
Mac bowed his head. “Heavenly Father, I need Your guidance and help. I want Johnny to be a part of my family. Show me the way. In Christ’s name, amen.”
The simple prayer washed over Tess, renewing her faith in the Lord and easing any tension she felt with Johnny’s departure. The Lord had brought Johnny and Mac together. Everything would work out for the best.
The insistent ringing pulled Tess toward wakefulness. She fumbled for the phone and brought the receiver to her ear. “Hello.” She squinted at the digital clock and saw it was three o’clock in the morning. News in the middle of the night was never good.
“Tess, Mac here.”
The haze clouding her mind evaporated, and she struggled to a sitting position. “What’s wrong?” Her heart began to thump against her rib cage.
“Dottie Brown called and told me that Johnny is gone from the hotel room. She got up in the middle of the night and noticed his bed was empty. No one in the hotel saw him leave.”
“Has she called the police?”
“Yes. She wanted to know if Johnny was at my house.”
Tess heard the anger in Mac’s voice and could imagine the grip he had on the phone. It would match hers. “What are you not telling me?”
“She all but accused me of kidnapping the boy. Nina and I looked, and he isn’t here. Will you help me search for him?”
Family for Keeps & Sadie's Hero Page 16
