When they’d arrived a few minutes ago, most of the linen-covered tables had been empty. But since they’d ordered their meal and a waiter had served them a bottle of chilled wine, several diners had filtered in and, from the looks of them, Tessa easily decided they were in the Hollisters’ league, not hers.
She smiled at him. “Well, I can clean up from time to time.”
Chuckling, he squeezed her hand. “That’s obvious. Even though you look pretty damned sexy in ranch gear.”
“Thank goodness. Since I’ve come to the Bar X, that’s pretty much all I’ve worn. If the Calhouns could see me helping Sam spread feed and pitch hay to the horses, they wouldn’t recognize me.”
“You didn’t do that sort of thing on the Silver Horn?”
She shook her head. “Too many wranglers and ranch hands around to take care of those types of jobs. And, frankly, I believe they thought I was too fragile to lift a feed bucket. Of course, no one would dare say anything like that to Sassy or Noelle. They can do anything around a ranch that a man can do. Maybe better.”
“You’ve told me that Sassy is a sister to the Calhoun brothers, but I’ve not heard you mention Noelle before. Who is she?”
“She’s Liam’s wife. He’s the detective,” she added as a reminder. “Noelle owned a little ranch south of Carson City before she and Liam married. Ran it all by herself, too. She’s tough, but beautiful. So is Sassy. Did I tell you that she raises horses and has a knack for starting colts?”
He looked surprised. “No. You haven’t mentioned that. She must be a fierce woman. Her husband doesn’t worry about her being injured?”
“Sure he does. But Jett wouldn’t demand she give up something she loves. Although, I was talking with Lilly this afternoon and she told me Sassy won’t be riding colts for the next few months. She’s expecting again—their fourth.”
Easing his hand from hers, he picked up his wineglass and took a long sip. “You miss your family, don’t you?”
“A little. But I’m not homesick, if that’s what you mean.” She glanced to her right where a plate-glass wall gave them a panoramic view of the desert. The setting sun was dipping behind a ridge of jagged hills, spreading a magenta glow over the city. “This is so beautiful, Joseph. I wasn’t expecting anything this special.”
“You say that like you’re not used to a man taking you to a nice restaurant.”
“Not this nice. Housekeepers don’t usually get asked out by the upper crust. At least, this one didn’t. I was fed lots of fast food,” she added with an impish smile. “Bad for the waistline but easy on the wallet.”
A faint smile touched his face. “I’m sure you never complained.”
“Why, no. I’ve never had any real money of my own, either. Not until Ray’s will.”
His expression took on a somber quality as his gaze roamed her face. “That’s hard to believe. With the Calhouns being so wealthy, I figure they would’ve at least set aside some sort of trust fund for you.”
“Believe me, Orin and Bart are always trying to give me money or make investments for me,” she explained. “But I’ve never wanted that. After Mother was killed, they’ve provided me with everything I needed. Why would I want to take more? That would be taking advantage. I suppose that’s why it’s been hard for me to accept my inheritance from Ray. I can’t see that I deserve it.”
She took a sip of the fruity wine while his probing gaze continued to slide over her.
“Ray wouldn’t like you thinking that way,” he said. “He believed you deserved it. Otherwise he would’ve given everything to someone else. Sam, most likely.”
She winced with a pang of remorse. “Sam,” she repeated wistfully. “Everyone believes Sam should’ve gotten the Bar X. I even think so.”
“Sam has everything he needs or wants. Especially now that you’re here.”
“What does that mean?”
His lips took on a wry slant. “Other than Ray and Dottie, Sam has never had anyone. Your company makes him happy.”
She looked out at the rugged mountains, now shrouded in dark shadows, and tried to keep the sudden melancholy she was feeling from her voice. “Old Sam is a lot like me, I think. He’s had a family take him under their wing, but he was never actually one of them. It’s not the same thing as what you have, Joseph. It just can’t ever be.”
She turned her attention back to his handsome face while wondering what could possibly be wrong with her. She owned a beautiful stretch of land, a lovely house, and had more money in her bank account than she’d ever dreamed of having. The long, arduous task of acquiring her college degree was completed. She supposed from the outside looking in, most folks would think her life was coming up roses. Yet she’d never felt so torn or uncertain about herself or her future.
She drew in a deep breath. “After I talked to Lilly today, I got another call. From Jett—Sassy’s husband. He’s the Silver Horn’s lawyer. The one who did all the communicating with Ray’s attorney about the will.”
His eyes narrowed skeptically. “Has he learned something else about the will? About Ray and you?”
“No. The call was nothing about that.” Realizing she was gripping the stem of the wineglass, she forced her fingers to relax. “He wanted to know when I might be coming home. He’s offered me a job. A position, actually. As his assistant.”
He remained silent for so long that Tessa felt like kicking his shin under the table...although she wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted him to say. She only wished he cared enough to make some sort of reply.
She was on the verge of asking him point-blank how he felt about the news when a waiter suddenly approached with their salads.
Finally, after the young man had served them and left the table, Joseph said, “The Silver Horn must be massive if its lawyer has so much work to do he needs an assistant.”
His remark reminded Tessa that she and Joseph had only known each other a short time. There was still so much he didn’t know about her life back in Nevada. And so much she hadn’t yet learned about his. Yet when she looked at him, the dear familiarity of his face made her feel as if she’d know him forever.
“Jett only works at the Horn a couple of days during the week. He has his own law practice in Carson City. His sister Bella used to work along with him. She’s a lawyer, too. But she fell in love with Jett’s ranch manager, Noah, and they married and moved to a ranch near Tombstone. Then Jett hired an assistant, Elaine, to sort of fill the void of Bella’s leaving. But now he tells me Elaine is leaving in the next few days. Something to do with her husband’s job being transferred out of state.”
“I see. So what did you tell him?”
Actually, Tessa had been floored by Jett’s proposition. She’d always admired him greatly. Not just because he was a devoted husband and father, but also a very dedicated lawyer who worked tirelessly to help people who’d found themselves in difficult situations. And although she’d often talked to Jett about finding a job, she’d never imagined having the opportunity to work directly with him. The idea was both flattering and exciting. Yet it was also very heart-wrenching. Joseph had just come into her life. She couldn’t just walk away from him.
“I told him I’d have to think about it.”
Without glancing her way, he shook the pepper shaker violently over the bowl of torn greens. “Why? Sounds like a dream job to me. Unless this Jett is a taskmaster or something.”
“He wouldn’t approve of an employee dawdling around and wasting time, that’s for sure. But he’d hardly be a taskmaster.” She ate a few bites of salad then said, “Let’s talk about something else.”
He flashed a glance at her. “All right. There’s something I learned today that I’ve not mentioned to you yet. I was going to wait until later after we got back to the Bar X, but seeing you want something else to think about, I’ll go ahead and share it with you now.”
/> She wanted to tell him that she had more than enough to think about and that all of it revolved around him. But she kept the urge in check. Just like she’d been keeping all sorts of thoughts and feelings from him this past week. Each time they’d made love, her throat had ached with the need to tell him how much she was beginning to care about him, how very important he was becoming to her. But each time she’d held back.
Since the day they’d picnicked at the bluffs, the two of them had been together as much as his job had allowed. Not once during those long, lovemaking sessions had he come close to hinting he had serious intentions toward her. As a result she was finding it very hard to hold on to the hope that he would ever make any kind of serious commitment to her.
“Okay. I’m listening,” she told him.
He dipped a fork into his salad. “I had to drive over to Camp Verde today to our eastern command center. While I was there dealing with another matter, I talked to a guy who used to work as the undersheriff to Ray. Mike was probably the closest friend Ray had on the force.”
Her attention suddenly went on high alert. “Did you question him about Ray’s will?”
“I brought it up. He’d not heard anything about you getting Ray’s estate. And he never knew of Ray being associated with anyone by the name of Parker.”
“That’s the same answer everyone has given you so far,” she said glumly.
“Yeah, but Mike gave me a little more. After I continued to press him, he recalled a time Ray went out of town—supposedly on a business trip—and when he returned he seemed happier than Mike had ever seen him. He said Ray even had a box of cigars and spread them around to the guys in the office. Mike thought it was odd and was thinking Ray was behaving like a man whose wife had just had a baby. Which was impossible because of Dottie’s handicap.”
Even though the large room was a pleasant temperature, Tessa felt a chill rush over her. “Did this Mike ask Ray what the cigars were for?”
“He did and Ray explained that he was just in a happy mood and wanted to share it with the men. At the time, Mike didn’t believe it. And, frankly, I don’t believe it now.”
She put down her fork and stared at him. “Joseph, surely you don’t believe that he—that those cigars were for me being born? It’s a ludicrous idea.”
“Why is it ludicrous? Because you don’t want to believe that Ray might actually be your father?”
Her hands were suddenly trembling and she swiftly placed them in her lap just so he wouldn’t see how shaken she was by this new information.
“You don’t understand, Joseph. I don’t have anything against Ray. Dear God, how could I? He’s already given me so much. It’s... I just can’t bear to think of my mother—”
When she didn’t go on, he finished for her.
“Being something other than what you thought?” he asked gently. “Well, I think most all children see their parents in a different light. And I figure most parents guard a few secrets of their own. Including mine. Sometimes I think my dad had some sort of secret and that’s what eventually caused him to be killed.”
Shivering at the thought, Tessa realized that Joseph had his own doubts and questions to deal with and, compared to hers, they were far more serious.
“What could your father have possibly been hiding? Sam tells me that Mr. Hollister was the best of the best. And since Sam doesn’t talk much about other folks, that’s saying a lot.”
“Yeah, Dad was the kind of man every guy wants to be. As for the possibility of a secret, I’ve spent long hours trying to figure out what he could have been keeping to himself. I’ve told you how Ray believed there was a woman somehow involved. But I refuse to think Dad was doing anything wrong.” He looked at her, his expression wry. “I suppose I’m like you, Tessa, I don’t want to think of my father deceiving his family. No matter the reason.”
Smiling gently, she reached across the table and touched her fingers to his. “It’s like you said to me the night I visited Three Rivers. We have much in common.”
With a faint grin, he turned his fingers over and wrapped them around hers. “Yes. Even more than sharing a kiss in the moonlight.”
Chapter Nine
Tessa had been offered a job. One that she would hardly want to refuse. Like a vinyl record with a hung needle, the thought stuck in Joseph’s mind throughout the remainder of the meal. And later, as they danced to a live band in the adjoining bar area, he still couldn’t shake off the dismal notion.
Joe, maybe you should ask yourself how you would feel if she suddenly went back to Nevada—to stay.
His mother’s words had hit home much sooner than Joseph had expected and he didn’t have to ask himself how he would feel once Tessa was gone. He’d be totally and irrevocably lost. But what was he going to do about it? What could he do? She’d not said anything about loving him or making a future with him. She seemed hesitant to make any sort of concrete plans. Would that change if he told her how much she’d come to mean to him? How much he wanted her to stay in Arizona?
By the time they arrived back at the Bar X, Joseph was feeling worse than desperate and it showed in the urgent way he made love to her. When he finally rolled away from her, he was drenched in sweat, while Tessa appeared utterly drained.
“Forgive me, Tessa. I didn’t mean to be so rough.”
Scooting close to his side, she slid her hand slowly up and down his arm. “You weren’t rough. But you did seem...far away. Is something wrong?”
He turned onto his side and immediately groaned at the sight of her flushed cheeks and swollen lips. Each time he took her into his arms, she gave him everything he asked for and more. There would never be any other woman like her in his life. Somehow he knew that.
“No. Nothing is wrong.” He cupped his hand against the side of her face. “Being here with you like this...puts me in a different world. One that I don’t want to leave.”
She slipped an arm around his rib cage and drew herself tight against him. Joseph instinctively ran a hand down the bumpy ridges of her spine until he reached the flare of her hips.
“I don’t want you to leave it,” she murmured. “In fact, I’ve been thinking you should spend the night with me.”
He’d been thinking about it, too. Over and over, he’d imagined sleeping beside her. Waking up to see her smiling face next to his. But to him, staying would be making a commitment of sorts. Was he ready to risk that?
He said, “You must have heard I cook a mean breakfast.”
Chuckling, she pressed her lips to the spot where his neck curved into his shoulder. Joseph immediately felt his loins tighten with desire and the reaction made him wonder if she would always wield this much power over his body.
“Mmm. That’s good to know,” she murmured. “I’ll take pancakes and link sausage. With plenty of syrup. Can you manage that?”
Strange how easy it was to picture himself cooking for Tessa, sitting across the breakfast table from her and sharing the last of their coffee on the patio. He could even imagine further into the future, where the Bar X corrals held a small herd of horses, cattle grazed on the flats and Tessa held a baby in her arms. His baby.
Clearing his throat, he said, “No. I can’t manage that.”
“Well, if that’s too complicated, I can easily settle for scrambled eggs and toast.”
Even though he couldn’t see her face, he could hear a big smile in her voice and the sound drove a dagger of regret right through his chest.
“That’s not—I’m talking about more than food now.”
Her head tilted back until her blue gaze was locked on his. “What are you talking about, Joseph?”
The soft smile on her lips had him groaning with frustration before he rolled away from her and sat up on the side of the bed. As he pulled on his boxers, he tried to swallow away the thickness in his throat. “I’m saying I’m not read
y to spend the night with you. That’s all.”
“Oh.”
Behind him, he heard a rustle of sheets and then felt the mattress move as she rose from the bed.
While she remained stubbornly silent, he pulled on his jeans and boots, then reached for his shirt where she’d tossed it to the floor. He was jamming his arms into the sleeves when she walked in front of him.
“I’ll be out on the patio,” she said, her voice strained.
His hand shot out and wrapped around her upper arm. “That’s all you have to say? That you’re going outside?”
She glanced pointedly down to where his fingers were clamped into her flesh. “What are you expecting from me, Joseph? For me to get on my knees and beg you to stay?” Without giving him time to answer, she shook her head. “Sorry, but that’s not going to happen.”
His jaw clenched, he muttered, “I don’t want you to beg! But I would expect you to be interested enough to wonder why!”
Pulling her arm from his grip, she backed away from him as though he was a stranger instead of the man she’d just given her body to in an oh, so generous way.
“Why?” she asked mockingly. “I don’t have to ask you that question, Joseph. I already know the answer. You’re afraid you might get too comfortable. And you don’t want that to happen. You don’t want to make the slightest commitment to me.”
She’d hit the mark so closely Joseph could only wonder if he’d turned transparent or if the short time they’d been together was enough for her to learn what was inside him.
His lips flattened to a grim line as he fastened the snaps on his shirt. “That right, I don’t. And why should I? You certainly don’t want to make me any promises.”
Her lips parted in dismay as she took a hesitant step toward him. “That’s insulting! I’ve invited you into my arms—my bed. Maybe that doesn’t count much to you, but it does to me.”
Before he could react to that, she hurried out of the room. Joseph started to follow her then decided against it. Instead he made a trip to the bathroom and used a few moments to wash up and collect himself.
The Arizona Lawman Page 14
