Chapter Ten
“For someone who was so all fired up about going on a horseback ride this morning, you’ve sure gone quiet on me now.”
Tessa looked over at Sam as the two of them rode Rosie and Rascal across a stretch of grazing land east of the ranch house.
“Sorry, Sam. I was just doing some thinking, that’s all.”
“You appear to be doing a lot of that here lately. You worried about something?”
Worried? It was worse than that, Tessa thought. She’d been going around in a painful daze, asking herself how things with Joseph had abruptly turned from bliss to hell in a matter of moments. Aside from losing her mother, these past few days had been the worst in her life. What was she going to do about it?
When you decide to grow up enough to make some decisions, give me a call.
Initially his remark had infuriated her. But now that a week had passed without him, she’d thought on his words long and hard and decided he was right. Being indecisive was just as bad as making a wrong choice.
“I’m not worried,” she told Sam, thinking heartsick was more like it. “Should I be?”
He shrugged a bony shoulder. “I thought with the shooting the other day, you might be a little worried about Joseph. But, heck, he knows what he’s doing. He won’t take unnecessary chances.”
Her heart was suddenly hammering with fear. “The shooting? What are you talking about?”
He clamped his lips together and Tessa could see he was angry at himself for saying anything.
“A deputy was wounded. Happened somewhere west of Prescott. Some idiot shooting with a long-range rifle. Haven’t caught the bastard yet, either.”
“Oh.” She felt like dozens of heavy rocks had just tumbled to the pit of her stomach. “I didn’t know anything about it. I rarely turn on the television to hear the news.”
“Well, like I said, I wouldn’t concern myself about it too much. Joe usually works the southern part of the county anyway.”
Like the shooter couldn’t move to different areas of the county? she thought sickly.
“So they think the crime was committed by someone who was personally targeting lawmen?”
“Seems that way,” Sam answered. “Still, it wouldn’t hurt for you to keep your eyes peeled, Tessa. What with you living here alone.”
“I’ll be careful,” she tried to assure him, even though a chill was creeping down her spine. Not for her own safety, but for Joseph’s.
The two of them rode on until the grassy valley ended at a ridge of jagged hills covered with blooming cholla, paloverde and tall saguaros. As they reined their horses to a stop in the shade of a juniper tree, Sam said, “That’s some beautiful grass. Best I’ve seen in years. Thanks to the little shower we got the other night. You could graze a sizable herd on this piece of land, that’s for sure.”
Tessa gazed out at the wide valley blanketed with a stand of green grass and desert wildflowers. Ever since she’d arrived on the Bar X, she’d often imagined how it would look as a working ranch again. And with each passing day, the desire to restore the ranch to its former glory was growing stronger and stronger.
“That would be something, wouldn’t it? To see my own cattle and horses grazing on my own land.” She let out a wistful sigh then shook her head. “Don’t laugh, Sam, but there’s a part of me that wants to actually go for it. To purchase the cattle and horses and see if I could make the place go. With your help, of course.”
A broad smile split the cowboy’s wrinkled face. “Damned right, with my help,” he said, then squinted an eye at her. “And why would I laugh at that idea? I’ve been waiting and praying to hear you say something like that. I know it’d be what Ray would want.”
What Ray would want. Oh, God, if only she could know what Ray had actually wanted when he’d willed the Bar X to her. Then maybe she could understand where she truly belonged. Joseph hadn’t recognized just how deeply the not knowing affected her. Maybe if he had, he wouldn’t have ever turned his back on her.
“But Ray didn’t know me, Sam,” she returned. “He didn’t know whether I even liked the outdoors, much less if I’d be interested in owning a ranch.”
“He must’ve figured it all out somehow. And don’t ask me how or why.” His gloved hand made a cross over his chest. “’Cause he never told me.”
Tessa let out a weary sigh. “I believe you, Sam. And I’m beginning to believe he didn’t tell anyone else, either. Not even his lawyer.”
“Well, it don’t matter now, Tessa. He’s gone. But you and me can get this ranch going again. That is—if you plan on making it home.”
Tessa’s throat tightened as she recalled that very first evening she’d arrived on the Bar X. The sight of it had overwhelmed her and not just because it was beautiful. Something about the place had tugged on her heart—like she’d been coming home after a long separation. And from that moment on she’d been afraid to admit those strange feelings to anyone, even herself.
She nudged Rosie forward, but after going a few feet, reined the mare to a stop. Sam immediately rode Rascal alongside her.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she said, shaking her head as she fought off the urge to drop her face in her hands and weep. “That’s not true, Sam. Everything is wrong. I’ve been behaving like a child. I’ve been silly and afraid and—”
“And you and Joe have had a row. Is that it?”
Tessa wasn’t aware that Sam had known about her relationship with Joseph. The older man was only at the ranch in the mornings and sometimes in the early evenings to do chores. He’d probably spotted Joseph’s truck parked in front of the house and put two and two together.
“Yes. We had a big row,” she said in a choked voice. Then, lifting her chin to a proud angle, she looked out at the desert land. Her land. “When I first came down here to Arizona, Sam, I expected to only stay a few days. Just long enough to look the place over and find a real-estate agent to sell the ranch for me. But from the very first day everything took me by surprise. It all felt so right to be here. And then one day led to another.”
“Nothin’ wrong with that, Tessa.”
“No. But then I got to feeling all mixed up. I have folks up in Nevada that love me. I have a good job waiting on me—if I want it.”
“You have folks that love you here, too. If you’ll just give them a chance.”
She looked over at Sam and the kindness she saw on his brown, leathery face caused a tear to slip from the corner of her eye. “I’m not so sure about Joseph. He doesn’t trust me to stick around. And I can’t blame him for that. I’ve been worse than wishy-washy. And now—well, even if I told him I was staying put, he wouldn’t believe me.”
“Are you trying to tell me you’re going to stay and make this your home?”
She nodded her answer and as she did a great sense of relief washed over her. “Even if I never learn my connection to Ray, I feel certain this is where I belong.”
“Men are stubborn cusses, Tessa. We have to be shown instead of told. I figure once Joe sees you’re digging roots, he’ll come around.”
Yes, it was time she rooted down, Tessa thought. Time she showed Deputy Joseph Hollister that she was a strong woman. One who knew exactly what she wanted in life.
Smiling over at Sam, she urged Rosie forward. “Come on, Sam. Let’s get back to the ranch house and I’ll make us a pot of coffee. We have lots of planning to do.”
* * *
Later that same evening, Joseph was sitting on the back patio, absently sipping at a glass of iced tea, when his mother walked up and sank into a chair next to him. She was wearing her jeans and boots and, from the looks of their dirty condition, he figured she’d been out with the men helping with branding and vaccinations.
Her gaze sliding over his uniform, she asked, “Night shift again?”
<
br /> “Yes. It’ll stay night shift until the captain decides to change the schedule.”
“Well, Reeva has dinner almost ready. I hope you’re hungry. She’s made roast chicken and chocolate cake.”
“Sounds good. But I don’t have time to eat. I need to leave in ten minutes.”
“I’ll have her dish it up in containers and you can take it with you.”
“Thanks, Mom, but I’m not hungry.”
The concern on her face was the sort that could only come from a mother. “You look like you’ve not eaten in days. Are you still worried about Jimmy? I hear he’ll be getting released from the hospital soon.”
“Jimmy is going to be fine. No thanks to the bastard who took a potshot at him.”
Her gaze never leaving him, she pulled a bobby pin from the knot in her hair, twisted it tighter and jabbed the pin back in place. “I’ve had my eye on you, Joe. Something is wrong. Spit it out.”
He snorted. “You have five children. You can’t keep your eyes on all of us.”
With a short laugh, she left the chair and walked over to the bar. After pouring herself a small glass of wine, she came to stand in front of him.
“Mothers have eyes in the backs of their heads. And this one can see you’re miserable. What’s happened? Is it Tessa?”
Staring into his tea glass, he drew in a long breath and wondered why the middle of his chest held such a constant ache. “Talking about it won’t help.”
“Why don’t you try me?”
Smiling wanly, he looked up at her. “Okay. Your son is an idiot. I always seem to pick the wrong woman.”
“Oh. So you think Tessa is wrong for you. That’s funny. I had pretty much come to the conclusion that she was perfect for you.”
Joseph placed his glass on a table next to his chair then used both hands to scrub his face. “She doesn’t know what she wants, Mom,” he said wearily. “She doesn’t even know if she’s going to stay on the Bar X or go back to Nevada. She says she needs time to make a decision. Well, the way I see it, if she cared enough about me, she wouldn’t need time to think. She’d know right off. I told her I didn’t want to see her. Not until she decided to grow up.”
Maureen eased into the adjacent lawn chair. “Oh, Joe, I’m ashamed of you! Dear Lord, the poor darling has only been here for a month! Besides that, she’s had all kinds of huge changes thrown at her. If you wanted to make points with the woman you should’ve been showing her some love and patience. Not pressuring her and making ultimatums!”
“Damn it, Mom, I know you’re right. At least, I know it now. After all these days without her, I’ve had plenty of time to think.” He looked at his mother and for one moment wished he was a small boy again. Back then she could fix any problem. Even when he’d lost his favorite horned lizard, she’d gone out and helped him find another. But he wasn’t a boy anymore and Tessa was far more important than his pet horned lizard. “I don’t know what to do now. I figure she’s probably already making plans to leave.”
Maureen glared at him with disgust. “I’ll tell you what you’re going to do. You’re going to go over to the Bar X and grovel. You’re going to tell her what a jackass you’ve been and how much you still love her.”
Love her. If he’d realized just how much he loved Tessa a week ago, he wouldn’t be in this agony now.
His mother reached across the small table and placed a hand on his arm. “Joe? You look sick.”
His head swung back and forth. “I am sick, Mom. I—never told Tessa anything about loving her. How could I—when she couldn’t even tell me whether she was going back to Nevada! Besides, there’s another issue I’m dealing with now. Those photos I told you about—of Tessa’s parents. Ben did a pretty good job of clearing them up and I hate to tell you this, but the man looks like Ray to me.”
Joseph could see it was on the tip of her tongue to argue the matter, but then she eased back in the chair and took a long drink of the wine as though she needed some sort of sustenance to accept the reality.
“You’re sure about this?” she asked.
“Not a hundred percent. But Connor and I believe it’s him. Though how or why he might have been with Tessa’s mother is another matter. I promised Tessa I would help her find answers about Ray. But I’m not so sure she’s going to be happy about this news. It basically makes her mother out to be a liar. She doesn’t want to think her parents lived a lie. Or her father wasn’t the man she believed him to be.”
“You’ve told me that Tessa’s father died before she was born. So she has no perception of the man,” Maureen pointed out.
“I think Monica Parker painted Tessa’s father as a very admirable man.”
Maureen sighed. “Tessa seems like a strong woman to me. And she needs to know the truth about the photos. Being honest with her is the only way to start a relationship.”
Start a relationship? If only he could start over with Tessa, he thought dismally. But he was deeply afraid he’d waited too long to be totally honest with her.
“Seeing her this evening is out. I barely have time to make the drive to work.” Joseph’s reasoning was as much for himself as his mother. “I’ll show her the pictures tomorrow and try to make amends.”
She reached over and patted his shoulder. “Everything will work out, Joe.”
Even if the situation was hopeless, it was a mother’s job to give her child words of encouragement. But this was one time Joseph desperately wanted to believe his mother was right. Because, without Tessa, his chance for any kind of happiness was over.
* * *
The next morning, while waiting for Sam to return from town with a part to repair a broken windmill, Tessa was in the kitchen making sandwiches for lunch when she heard a knock on the front door.
Frowning, she put down the tomato she’d been slicing. That couldn’t be Sam, she decided as she wiped her hands on a paper towel. When he came to the house, he always knocked on the back door.
Joseph! Could it be?
Her heart hammering with hope, she hurried through the living room and into the small foyer. At the door, she hastily smoothed a hand over her ponytail, then raised up on tiptoes to peep through the small square of window. But the man standing on the porch wasn’t Joseph, it was Orin.
Orin! Here on her doorstep!
Her mind too stunned to think past opening the door, she fumbled with the knob and finally managed to swing the partition wide.
“Hello, Tessa,” he greeted. “Surprised to see me?”
The endearing smile on his face caused a muffled cry of joy to escape her. Then she leaped across the threshold and flung her arms around him.
“Surprised? I’m stunned!” she exclaimed. “Oh, I’m so happy to see you!”
“My, my, I was hoping I’d get a warm reception, but I wasn’t expecting this!” Chuckling, he hugged her tight then stepped back and took a measured look at her. “You look great, honey. Just great.”
She glanced around his shoulder. “Are you alone? Noreen didn’t come with you?”
“Noreen wanted to make the trip, but she’s tied up with cases and wedding plans.”
“Well, it’s wonderful that you’re here.” Suddenly aware of her appearance, she hurriedly brushed her hands down the front of her dusty jeans. “I look awful. I’ve been out helping Sam with the windmills and—oh, what am I thinking?—please come in, Orin.” She reached for his arm and led him into the house. “So when did you leave the Horn? You haven’t had time to make the drive today.”
“I got to Wickenburg late last night so I stayed in a motel there,” he told her.
“Oh, I wished you’d driven out here to the Bar X. I have three guest bedrooms just ready and waiting for a visitor.”
As they moved into the living room, his eyes made a quick survey of his surroundings. “This is nice, Tessa. Very nice. And the outsid
e looks beautiful, too. I’m properly impressed.”
Orin Calhoun was an extremely busy man. He’d not made the long trip down here just to look at her ranch, Tessa thought, but she didn’t question why he was there. Knowing him, he’d tell her soon enough.
“Thank you. I’m very proud of the place. Just wait until you see the land.” She grabbed him by the arm. “Come on and I’ll show you the rest of the house.”
After a quick tour of the rooms, she took him back to the kitchen, where he made himself comfortable on a stool at the breakfast bar.
At the cabinet counter, Tessa draped a sheet of clear plastic over the plate of sandwiches she’d put together. “Would you like iced tea or coffee? I have a few sodas, too. And a bottle of Irish whiskey if you need a shot of something stronger,” she offered.
“Whiskey! Since when did you take up drinking? Is that what living down here has done to you?”
Normally, Orin’s question would have pulled a laugh from her. But since Joseph had moved out of her life, she’d stopped laughing altogether. “No, Orin. I’ve not taken up drinking. I purchased the bottle for Sam. In appreciation for all he does for me around here.”
“I see. Well, coffee would be nice. If it’s not too much trouble.”
“You’ve just driven seven hundred miles to see me. I don’t think making a pot of coffee will be too much trouble for me,” she teased. “And I was just making sandwiches for lunch when you knocked. Would you care for one?”
“No, thanks. It’s too early for me. Maybe later.”
As she began to gather the makings for the coffee, he said, “So tell me again about this Sam. I’d like to meet him.”
“Sam went to town to fetch a part for the windmill. But I expect he’ll be back in another thirty minutes or so. He was Ray’s ranch foreman for many years. And before Ray died, he made Sam promise he’d stick around and help me for as long as I wanted. He’s been an angel.”
She poured the water into the coffeemaker and switched on the warmer beneath.
“An angel, eh? So this Sam must be a good-looking cowboy,” Orin said knowingly.
The Arizona Lawman Page 16
