Just to Be with You

by Sheryl Lister

  Rolling off the bed, Janae booted up her laptop to search airlines. Finding a reasonable flight leaving at the end of the week, she called her parents and made the reservation. Cleaning her house was the next priority, along with doing laundry. She was exhausted by the time she finished everything, and after showering, fell asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow.

  “Yes,” she moaned. “Terrence...” Janae’s eyes snapped open, and she jerked herself upright, breathing harshly, body pulsing and clothes soaking. “It was only a dream,” she murmured, covering her face. It seemed so real that she could still feel remnants of the passionate encounter.

  Dragging herself off the bed, she went in the bathroom, washed up and changed her clothes. Lying in bed again, her mind traveled back to the night she spent with Terrence. To say it was something out of a fantasy would be an understatement.

  She only wished her heart hadn’t gotten involved because his certainly hadn’t.

  * * *

  Terrence paced his bedroom. It had been over two weeks, and he still hadn’t talked to Janae. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t eradicate her from his brain...or his heart. He should already be in the office, but had no desire to deal with anything business related—strange for a man whose whole life had been nothing but business for the past ten years.

  Glancing down at his watch, he groaned, remembering a meeting with a prospective client. He had less than an hour to get to the office. Grabbing his suit jacket off the hanger, he loped down the stairs, stopping long enough for a glass of juice.

  Luckily, Sheila Martin was nothing like some of the artists who had paraded through his company seeking representation. She was a consummate professional, clearly serious about her craft and had a powerhouse voice that would make Aretha proud. He’d have to thank Gary, since he was the one who’d seen her performing at one of the music festivals in the park.

  Once they were done, he headed back to his office, but Audrey intercepted him on the way.

  “You have a few minutes, Terrence?”

  “Sure. What do you need?”

  “I wanted to talk to you about Mrs. Lewis’s vacation and see whether you want a temporary clerk to cover the office or have all calls routed through the receptionist.”

  He ran his hand over his forehead wearily. “I totally forgot about that. We can talk in my office.”

  “Hi, Mrs. Lewis,” Audrey said as she entered the office.

  “Hello, Audrey. How did things go with Ms. Martin, Monte?”

  “They went well. I know you’re only scheduled to be off one week with your daughter, but why don’t you take two? I’m sure she’ll need the help, and you can spoil those grandbabies awhile longer.”

  She reached up to palm his cheek as a smile creased her face. “You are such a sweet boy, but I don’t want to leave you too long without someone manning this office.”

  Terrence put his arms around her. “I’ll be fine. Audrey and I are going to talk about having someone come in temporarily.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Positive. We’ll make sure that whoever is here doesn’t mess up the system you’ve established. Can you put together a list of instructions?”

  “No problem. I’ll bring it in as soon as I’m done.”

  “Thanks.” He led Audrey into his office, closed the door and dropped down into his chair.

  “So what’s going on with you and your lady friend?” Audrey asked as soon as she sat.

  “I thought you wanted to discuss a temporary secretary.”

  “In a minute. So what happened? You’ve been moping around here for close to three weeks, and don’t try giving me that lame excuse about being tired again. I thought things were going well.” She leaned forward. “Did she do something to hurt you?”

  “No, no, nothing like that. She’s probably the sweetest person I’ve ever met. Next to you, of course,” he amended.

  “Uh-huh. Don’t try to sweet-talk me. Help me out here. If she didn’t do anything, why did you guys break up?”

  Terrence rotated his chair and stared out the window.

  “Oh, no. You didn’t. Terrence, I know you love her.”

  He turned back and lifted an eyebrow. “How do you know that? You’ve never seen us together.”

  “I didn’t have to. Your whole demeanor changes whenever she’s mentioned.” She came and stood next to him. Placing her hand on his shoulder, she gave it a gentle squeeze. “I don’t know what happened to make you fear commitment, and I’m not asking. What I do know is that not everyone is fortunate enough to find that special one. When you do, it’s not a good idea to toss it away, because you may never find that type of love again. Ask yourself two questions—can you live without her? And how would you feel knowing that another man is sharing with her all the things that come with being in a relationship? Things you could be sharing with her.”

  Terrence’s heart pounded in his chest. He’d never even considered the questions, but didn’t have to look too deep to know the answers. Instead of Janae’s memory fading, it grew stronger, becoming more profoundly entrenched in his system. As for the second question, he could feel the anger boiling in his gut with the thought of another man touching her the way he had. Kissing her. Making love to her and sharing her passion. Pain ripped through his chest, and he sucked in a deep breath.

  Mrs. Lewis knocked, and he signaled for her to enter. She handed both him and Audrey copies of her list. He looked it over and thanked her.

  “I’m going to step out for a moment. I’ve transferred the phones to the receptionist.”

  “All right.”

  When she departed, he and Audrey discussed what parameters the temporary clerk would have and decided to use a clerk from another department to answer phones. Audrey would handle anything significant.

  “I’ll do some shifting, and I’ll have the clerk come over before Mrs. Lewis leaves at the end of the week.” Audrey stood and went to the door. She turned back. “I hope you make the right choice. I’d like to see you happy.”

  Audrey’s words played in his mind all afternoon. Could he live the rest of his life without ever seeing Janae’s beautiful face, hearing her laughter or feeling her kiss? His gaze strayed to the painting on the wall. She’d given him the gift without expecting anything in return. It was another facet of the remarkable woman who’d stolen his heart, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop loving her.

  Now what?

  Picking up the phone, he dialed her home number again, but got her answering machine. He left a message apologizing and hung up. He sent a text to her cell with the same message and ordered flowers.

  The next few days passed in a blur, and by the end of the week, he still hadn’t heard from Janae. He started to worry and thought about calling her brother to make sure she was all right, but decided it probably wouldn’t be a smart idea. Terrence rose to his feet sharply and paced the office.

  Although he put on a good front while doing business, inside his heart ached. He had a difficult time hiding his feelings from those who knew him best. Even his grandparents sensed something wasn’t right. He stared at the painting again. He found himself thinking about her at the oddest times—during meetings, dinner with his grandparents or while holding a conversation. His nights were filled with dreams of their lovemaking, and he swore he could still smell her scent.

  A soft knock intruded on his thoughts. “Come in.”

  “Monte,” Mrs. Lewis began hesitantly, “there’s a woman out here to see you. She says her name is Dana Spencer, but she doesn’t have an appointment.”

  Terrence searched his mind for a memory. “Did she say what she wanted?”

  “No. Only that she knew you.” She lowered her voice further. “She looks a little old for the groupie scene—closer to my age—but one can never tel
l. I told her you were busy, but she insists on seeing you. Do you want me to call security?”

  Terrence was at a complete loss. He didn’t know anyone by that name, and certainly not an older woman. “No. I’ll see her for a few minutes.”

  “Are you sure?”

  He smiled. “Yes. Give her ten minutes.”

  “All right.”

  Terrence successfully concealed his shock at seeing the woman standing before him until the door closed. “What do you want?” he asked coldly.

  She smiled faintly. “Hello, Terrence. Is that any way to talk to your mother?”

  “I don’t have a mother,” he spat.

  She roamed around the office, taking in the gold and platinum records on the walls, running her hand across the leather furniture. “It seems you’ve done well for yourself.”

  “I know you didn’t come here to stare at the walls, so why are you here?”

  “How’ve you been?”

  He folded his arms and lifted an eyebrow, but didn’t respond.

  She seemed nervous, but Terrence didn’t care. All he knew was that the woman standing before him—the one who was supposed to nurture and love him—had turned her back and walked out when he needed her the most.

  “Is your father still wasting his talents?” she tossed out, bitterness lacing her words.

  Terrence’s heart squeezed, and a rush of emotions flooded his body. “Don’t ever talk about my father!” he exploded. He crossed the room in three angry strides, and she had the good sense to step back. “My father died thirteen years ago,” he said through clenched teeth.

  She inhaled sharply, and her face flushed. “I...I didn’t know,” she whispered.

  “How would you know?” He glimpsed the huge diamond on her ring finger. “I see you didn’t have any problems remarrying.” His body trembled with rage.

  “I’ve been married almost twenty years to John Spencer.”

  Now things became clearer. He remembered John Spencer as a popular musician when he was a teen. Recently, at least three members of his band had filed lawsuits against him, and he’d paid out three million dollars in a fraud case a few years ago.

  “You have exactly two minutes to state your business.”

  “I just want you in my life again.”

  He gave a harsh bark of laughter. “Nice try. I may be busy, but not so much that I haven’t heard about all the trouble your husband is in. What’s the problem? Is all the money gone, and you can’t live like you used to?”

  She gestured around the room. “You have all this, and you can’t even help your mother?” she asked accusingly. “It’s not like you have a wife and kids. You’ve sold millions of records. You own a record company. You wouldn’t even miss a couple hundred thousand dollars.”

  He shook his head sadly. The only reason she had come was for money. He studied her in the bright, too tight dress, overly made-up face and cloying perfume—groupie indeed.

  Then another thought occurred to him, one that almost dropped him to his knees. He’d turned his back on someone who was loving and giving and asked nothing in return—all because of this selfish, greedy woman.

  Terrence stalked to the door, snatched it open and turned toward her. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Spencer. I can’t help you. Please do not contact me again. If you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting.”

  She slowly approached, lifted her hand toward his face and opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off.

  Taking a step back, he glared down at her. “You didn’t want the life you had, so I hope you’re happy with the one you chose. Mrs. Lewis, Mrs. Spencer is leaving. Can you please see her out?”

  “Certainly,” she said with a smile. “Mrs. Spencer, right this way.”

  He paced his office like a caged animal trying to get a grip on his anger—anger at his mother and at himself. Mostly at himself for allowing her to control his life this way.

  His mind traveled back to the day she walked out and the crushing pain of rejection he’d felt. He abruptly stopped pacing, recalling Janae’s words. I can’t understand how a mother could turn her back on her child like that or walk out on a sick husband.

  He slowly dropped down on the leather sofa and buried his head in his hands. “Oh, my God. What did I do?” he asked himself in an agonized whisper. In trying to protect himself, he’d hurt Janae and probably lost the only woman he would ever love. He lifted his head when the door opened.

  “Son, are you all right?” Mrs. Lewis sat on the sofa next to him.

  He couldn’t even pretend to be okay, and his man card was in serious jeopardy because he was a heartbeat away from breaking down.

  She covered his hands with hers. “So that was your mother.” His surprised gaze met her amused one. She chuckled softly. “You two were a little loud, and these walls aren’t that thick.”

  He nodded.

  “You’ve been sulking for the past three weeks, and I know it’s because of a woman. If you love her, go after her. You deserve to be happy.” She patted his hand and moved to stand.

  Terrence stood and helped her up.

  “Monte, don’t let your mother’s choices be yours.”

  “Thanks, Mrs. Lewis. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He wrapped his arms around her. In the three years since starting his label, she had been a godsend.

  She leaned back. “Good thing I’m not retiring soon, then, huh?”

  He smiled for the first time. “Definitely.”

  “Well, you can thank me by having this mess cleared up by the time I get back. I want to meet this extraordinary woman.”

  “I’ll do my best. I think I’m going to leave early today.”

  “You have one meeting at noon. After that you’re free. Donovan can handle anything that comes up.”

  “Good.” He walked back to his desk, picked up an envelope and handed it to her. “This is for Michelle and Trevor. Tell them I said congratulations.”

  Mrs. Lewis accepted the envelope. “You’re such a thoughtful young man. I’m sure they’ll be pleased. I hope you didn’t go overboard like you did for Christopher’s birthday last year,” she added, peering over her glasses.

  “What? It wasn’t much.”

  She placed her hands on ample hips. “A five-hundred-dollar gift card for a four-year-old isn’t much?”

  He grinned sheepishly and shrugged. “I missed a couple.”

  She laughed, then went back to her desk.

  Terrence sat in his chair and wondered how to get Janae back.

  What if she doesn’t want me back?

  He struck the thought immediately from his mind. Failure was not an option—he had to get her back.

  Chapter 17

  Janae sat out on her parents’ covered patio looking at the mountains. As night descended, the temperatures had finally cooled enough to sit outside. She needed a place to think. Somehow, all of her brothers had converged on their parents’ Santa Fe, New Mexico, home over the past two weeks, and everyone had watched her with guarded expressions. Admittedly, she’d been rather quiet—totally out of character for her when around her family. No matter what she did or whom she was with, Terrence’s handsome face always appeared.

  She must be a glutton for punishment, allowing herself to fall in love with someone like him—handsome, generous, kind, funny, a great conversationalist. Not to mention all the ways he made her body sing. Who was she fooling? He was exactly the type of man a woman would fall in love with.

  He’d called several times and left messages, sent texts and even flowers, apologizing. She knew, at some point, she would stop ignoring him and listen to what he had to say. But she wasn’t ready. Reaching in her pocket, she pulled out her cell. She’d spent the day at a spa with her mother and sister-in-law and had never turned it back o
n.

  After it powered up, the distinct chime indicated missed messages. She viewed the text message first. SRY. PLZ Call. Then she listened to the voice mail.

  “Janae. It’s Terrence. I need to talk to you. Please forgive me for hurting you.” Her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes. He sounded as miserable as she was.

  She pulled up the photo from the concert and stared at it for several minutes. Why can’t I stop loving you?

  She jumped when a hand touched her shoulder, and hastily wiped her eyes. “Hey, Mom, Pam. I didn’t hear you guys.”

  Her mother studied her. “No, I suppose not. Is that the young man you were seeing?”

  “Yes,” she answered, and placed the phone in her mother’s outstretched hand. Her mother probably wouldn’t recognize him, but her sister-in-law, Pam, definitely would.

  “He’s very handsome, Janae.”

  “Let me see,” Pam said eagerly. “I don’t believe it,” she squealed. “This is who you’ve been dating? No wonder you wouldn’t tell your brothers. I wouldn’t have, either.”

  “Do you know him, Pam?” Janae’s mother asked.

  “Not personally, but I have every one of his CDs. Monte is one of the most popular R & B singers around. He has his own label now and produces, as well.” She looked back at the picture. “Hmph. The brother is beyond fine!”

  Janae glared up at her sister-in-law, snatched the phone and met her mother’s amused gaze.

  “Now I understand some of the complications,” her mother said. She and Pam sat in loungers on either side of Janae. “Tell me what happened, sweetheart.”

  Janae recounted how she’d met Terrence, his visits and the party—leaving out the intimate parts, of course—and what she’d overheard him say about not doing relationships or commitments.

  “Hmm,” her mother said. “And you haven’t talked to him at all?”

  “No.”

  “You left without letting him explain, Jan?” Pam chimed in.

  “Pretty much.”

  Pam shook her head. “Girl, you should have at least given the man a chance to tell you his side.”