Broken Worlds

by Anitha Robinson

  “There’s no need to call my family. I’m sure they aren’t worried,” I say, pained by the truth of my statement. I look down to see my hand clenching the bedsheet.

  “What are you talking about? Of course they’d be worried. You’re a child, and you’ve been missing all night!”

  “I’m not a child!” His words crush me. He thinks of me as a little kid, nothing else.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it, but you’re too young to be out all night.”

  “I’m not that young. We’re probably the same age.”

  He raises his eyebrows. “Really? How old are you?”

  “Old enough to take care of myself.”

  Even I know how stupid I sound, but I don’t like thinking the only reason Ellis is sitting in here with me is that he sees me as a helpless kid.

  “And you, how old are you?” I ask, praying the number will end in ‘teen.’

  He looks taken aback. “I just want to know if you want to call your parents.” And then he grins slightly and says, “I’m nineteen.”

  “Well, I’m almost seventeen!” Definitely not a child, I want to add but don’t.

  “Okay,” he says.

  “I’m actually taking a break from my family.” I stare into my hands. “They aren’t expecting me to call them or anything.”

  He looks perplexed. It must be the word ‘break.’ But I won’t offer any more. I’ve already said too much.

  After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, he regains his cool composure and says, “Well, is there some other place I can take you?”

  The back of my throat feels tight. I can’t speak. I can’t swallow. Some place he can take me? To do what? We’re still sitting on the bed. Suddenly he feels so close to me. Too close. I stand up and take a step away from him.

  “Are you okay? You don’t look well. I’ll go get Margaret.” He rises and heads to the door.

  What am I doing? I force my breathing to slow down and stretch out my fingers. They had balled into fists.

  Maybe he is trying to help me. I take in his face, his kind face, and all the tightness inside me releases. Being with him is certainly safer than being alone.

  But why would he want to be around me? He’s only offered to take me somewhere, which basically means he’ll be dropping me off and then leaving. He has no intention of staying with me. I am nothing to him. I know better than to believe in happy endings. They don’t exist for me.

  “You don’t have to take me anywhere. I’ll be fine.” My voice catches on the last word.

  Ellis is silent. He walks back to me, takes my hand, and leads me away from the exam room. I suppose there is nothing more to say. We’ll walk out of this place and go our separate ways.

  Tears spill out of the corners of my eyes, and I distract myself by taking in my surroundings. The hallway, just like the exam room, is devoid of color. The walls, floor, and ceiling are all white. It’s hard to tell where the floor ends and the walls begin. People mill about, staring in our direction as we pass. Ellis seems unaware of the eyes following us. I guess he’s used to people gawking at him. Up ahead I see a large double door made of glass. The exit.

  As soon as we step through those doors, he’ll be gone. Don’t make a scene. Just thank him and walk away. Head held high, shoulders strong. And absolutely no more tears.

  As we move outside, I look around but don’t recognize anything. A low concrete wall, like the kind that divides highways, surrounds the clinic. Beyond the wall is a road, and beyond that, trees. Lots of trees. We’re definitely not in the city anymore. It looks more like the towns near where I live. My insides tumble. Are we close to my home?

  “Where are we?” I ask, barely controlling my rising panic. “This doesn’t look like one of the hospitals downtown.”

  “You were hurt pretty badly, and this is a private clinic that was quick to get to.”

  “But wouldn’t it have been quicker to stay in the town?”

  His eyes narrow slightly. “Like I said, you looked in bad shape, and I knew Margaret would be able to help.” He pauses and runs his hands through his hair, ruffling it up, only to have it all fall perfectly back into place. “I’m not from the city,” he continues. “So I thought this would be the best thing to do. Plus it was actually very quick to get here.”

  “Any place is quick when you can fly,” I mumble.

  “Sorry?”

  “N-nothing. Yeah, so I can just walk back if you could point me in the right direction.” The thought of being on my own again sickens me.

  “I know Margaret released you from the clinic, but I’m not sure you’re ready to walk back to the city. Why don’t we get some breakfast and figure out what would be best?”

  I grasp onto the twinge of hope. I’m not going back to the streets just yet. I wish I never had to go back. I wish I could feel safe like this all the time, but breakfast is a start.

  “Yes, I’d like that,” I say.

  “My car is parked on the other side of the road. How’s your ankle? I can get a wheelchair.” His voice is hypnotic. I feel a bit dizzy, but I don’t want a wheelchair.

  “No, I’m good. My ankle’s fine. Amazingly fine.”

  And as the last word fumbles its way out of my mouth, I trip and almost do a face plant. Instantly, hands are on me, pulling me from within inches of the ground.

  “Careful now. Wouldn’t want you to get hurt again after all it took to make everything right.”

  It’s Fallon. I didn’t even hear him approach, yet here he is, holding me up. I pull away. He smells like bleach. His gray eyes are hollow and look small and out of place in his mammoth head.

  “Ellis, if you’re not up to the job, I can certainly take over.” Fallon smiles, but there is no happiness in his face.

  “I’ve got it,” Ellis replies frostily. He takes my hand and leads me across the street.

  “What job are you not up …?” I begin to ask Ellis. But when I turn back, I see Fallon still standing by the doors to the clinic, his eyes fixed on me. “So is that guy a doctor?” I say, trying to sound casual.

  The thought of Fallon touching me freaks me out. But instead of answering, Ellis frees his hand from mine. All the warmth I felt vaporizes, and I’m left chilled.

  “Okay, here we are,” he says.

  He opens the passenger door of a black car with tinted windows. I hesitate. What am I doing? And then, out of the corner of my eye, I see Fallon walking toward us. Suddenly all that matters is getting away from him. I quickly climb in and pull the door shut.

  Thankfully Ellis gets in before Fallon crosses the street. I go to reach for my seatbelt when Ellis pushes a button, and I’m magically secured beneath a black strap. And we’re off.

  My fingers dig into my legs. In what seems like a second, we go from a deserted road to one with quite a bit of traffic. I still don’t recognize my surroundings. We’re moving so fast, I can’t see anything clearly. I look at Ellis. He is the angel who saved me last night. He’s not like the others. He’s not like the men Sita allowed into my bedroom. He’s not like the maniac in the alley. I’m safe with him. How many times will I have to say this to myself before I actually believe it?

  Ellis easily negotiates in and out of lanes. It’s as if all the other vehicles stand still and he simply weaves around them. Shapes and shades of colors whirl past, all mixed together. The speed is both frightening and exhilarating.

  As we drive on, the traffic becomes sparse again. The road narrows into one lane each way. My knees squeeze together as I try to figure out how much time has passed since I saw another car. Maybe one came by, and I missed it.

  “Is the restaurant much farther?” I try to keep my voice level, despite the tight feeling in my chest.

  “Not much farther at all,” says Ellis, his eyes forward.

  We slow down a bit, and I’m able to take in my surroundings. All I can see are farmers’ fields against a backdrop of trees. No buildings.

  “What restaurant is out h
ere?” I ask, staring out my window, wondering if we’re moving too fast for me to throw myself out of the car.

  “Almost there, almost there,” Ellis says, not answering my question at all.

  He veers right. We exit the two-lane road and turn onto a one-lane dirt road, flanked by large evergreen trees. We’re heading into a forest. Oh my God. What am I doing? He’s taking me to some deserted spot to ….

  My throat is so dry I can’t even swallow. I need to get out of here. I reach for the handle, only to find nothing there. I push on the door, hoping it will miraculously open.

  “You okay? We’ll be there in less than a minute.”

  “Stop the car! Let me out.” I bang the door with my fist. It doesn’t budge.

  “What’s the matter?”

  It’s happening again. I’m alone again with a pervert. And this time, he’s going to…. I won’t allow it. It can’t end like this. I ran away to avoid this. I grab the back of his head and pull so hard that chunks of blond hair fill my hands.

  “Ow!” he screams, as the car swerves toward the trees.

  My door thrashes against cedar branches, blanketing the windows in greenery. I cross my arms in front of my face, bracing for impact, but the car suddenly lurches back onto the road.

  Straightening up, I smack the buttons on the dashboard, and my seatbelt disappears. Nothing is holding me back. I won’t let him touch me. This time I will fight. I’ll wipe that smug expression off of his face permanently. I’m not weak. I attack every inch of him. His head, his face, his body. I pummel my fists into him. Even the gush of blood streaming out of his nose doesn’t deter me.

  “Stay away from me! I hate you.”

  “Kalli, stop!”

  The car zigzags, and I lose my balance. Ellis pins me to my seat with one arm and steers the car to the side of the road.

  Oh no! We’ve stopped.

  “Get off me!” I yell.

  I kick him in the stomach, and he lets go. I slam my body against the door. It won’t give. I bash at more buttons and my door flies open. I tumble out, and he grabs onto my shoulder. I shove his arm away and fall to the ground. I fill my hands with gravel and hurry back up. Before I can decide which way to run, Ellis is at my side, his lip swollen and bloody.

  “Kalli, what’s wrong?”

  I fling the stones at him. He shuts his eyes, and I take off running.

  “Kalli, come back!” He grabs on to my jacket.

  “Let me go!”

  “No. Not until you tell me what happened.”

  “She set this up, didn’t she?” I say.

  “Who? What are you talking about?” Ellis asks.

  “That bitch, Sita.”

  “Who’s Sita?”

  He’s still holding on. I stop pulling against him. I feel his grip relax just as I had hoped. I can’t outrun him, so instead I launch myself at him, head first. We crash to the ground. I sit on top of him and bash my fists all over his body. He shields his face.

  “She thinks I’ll just take it again. Let another one of her losers touch me. Not this time.”

  He grabs both my arms, pushes me off, and gets up. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I was just getting you something to eat.”

  “Do you think I’m an idiot? Is that what she told you?”

  He shakes his head. “Please Kalli, calm down. I’m sorry I brought you out here.”

  “Did she promise you an easy hook-up? Say you get to be the first to have your way completely?”

  “I would never do that.” He wipes the blood off his face with the back of his hand. “You said you wanted to get something to eat. Don’t you remember?”

  “There’s nothing out here. Don’t lie to me!” I shove his chest.

  “I’m really sorry. I couldn’t think of anywhere to go, so I was taking you to my place,” Ellis says.

  “Your place?” Oh my God! He is going to trap me in his home. Imprison me and torture me. I tear off into the forest. I hear his footsteps closing the gap.

  “Kalli, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I can take you anywhere you want.”

  “Get away from me! Leave me alone.”

  I grab a thick branch from the ground. Brandishing it like a sword, I charge at Ellis. He easily gets away. This time I wield the branch over my head and launch it at him. He ducks behind a tree.

  “I’ve obviously done something to scare you. To make you think I would hurt you. But I would never do that. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. I’m not who you think I am,” he says.

  “I know exactly what you are and what you want.”

  “Don’t you remember? I found you last night. I only want to help you.”

  He’s messing with me. Trying to confuse me.

  “Here, take my phone. Call whomever you want. They can come and get you,” Ellis says.

  His hand appears from behind the tree, holding out the phone. What’s he doing? Does he think I’m that stupid?

  “Like there’s even a signal out here,” I say.

  “There is. You can call someone. Anyone. Take it.”

  “Throw it over,” I challenge.

  And he does. I grab it and punch in 911. Why aren’t they answering?

  “Police, ambulance, or fire?” A voice resonates through the phone.

  What am I doing? I look up at Ellis. He’s leaning against the tree. He looks miserable. His face is bloody and battered, certainly not threatening. He even gave me his phone. If his intention was to kill me, he certainly wouldn’t have done that. And the last thing I want is the police. They’d just take me back home. I hang up.

  “Look. I’ll walk away. Give you all the space you want.” He raises his arms in front of him and backs away from me. “You can take my car. Go wherever you want.” He tosses the keys and they land by my feet. “I’m so sorry, Kalli. I really only wanted to help you.”

  I swallow the thick lump at the back of my throat. He gave me his keys. His keys! Who does that? I repeat his words silently. He only wants to help me. Even after I went crazy. Even after I hit him. He’s not like the others. What have I done? I fall to the ground, sobbing.

  “Kalli? Are you okay? Is something hurting? I don’t know what to do to help you. Tell me what you need. Please.”

  I wish I could disappear. I hear the crunch of his footsteps getting closer. And then I feel the weight of his hand upon my shoulder.

  “Kalli?”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened,” I say.

  “You have nothing to apologize for. After what happened to you last night, I never should have brought you out here.” He sighs. “Listen, I can take you anywhere you want. Or you can take my car and go wherever you want.” He tilts his head and smiles.

  “You really live around here?” I ask.

  He nods. “We could actually walk. It’s that close. But it’s fine. We can go somewhere else. Or you could call a cab, Kalli.”

  I can’t look at him. He must think I’m nuts. He’s probably hoping I opt for the cab.

  “Kalli, what would you like to do?” His voice is so gentle.

  I hold out his phone, and he takes it. His fingers lightly touch mine. I don’t know what to do. I want to trust him. But I’ve behaved like a lunatic. He’ll think I’m manic. And maybe I am. I’ve attacked him and accused him of being a pervert.

  The feel of his skin against mine makes me feel warm, and the warmth calms me a bit. Suddenly the thought of being inside a home again appeals to me. I miss my house.

  “I’d like to have breakfast at your place. If that’s still okay with you.”

  “Absolutely.” He gets up and holds his hand out to me.

  I take it, feeling a rush of shame.

  “I don’t know what happened. I’m so sorry. Your face.” I’ve destroyed it. I can’t look at him.

  He lifts my chin, and I’m forced to acknowledge the damage I inflicted on him.

  “It’s not your fault,” he says. “After all you’ve been through, I
was an idiot to bring you way out here. I wasn’t thinking. Kalli, I would never hurt you. I promise.”

  Ellis opens the car door, and I get in, praying I’ve done the right thing.

  I’ve barely settled into my seat when we turn left and slow down. We’ve reached the end of a gravel road and there it is, standing alone—Ellis’s house.

  It looks quite old. The bricks are crumbling and the paint on the window frames is chipped. There isn’t another building in sight. The ground close to the old house is covered in crushed stone. Behind the house is a neglected hay field that ends at a forest of evergreen trees.

  I ball my hands and dig them under my legs. I can feel my heart pounding against my ribs. Relax. If he had wanted to hurt me, he’s had plenty of opportunity for that.

  Ellis gets out of the car, walks around to my side, and pulls my door open. He holds out his hand. I let out a big breath. This is okay. Comforting myself that I can leave whenever I want, I take his hand.

  The gravel crunches beneath my feet. I close my eyes and take in the sound. I’m suddenly a small child, holding my dad’s hand as we walk up our driveway. My feet grind in the tiny stones, massaging my soles through my shoes. And then another image materializes. This time it is my hand that encases a smaller one. Could it be Navi that I keep seeing? It has to be my little brother. I don’t know any other child. But as quickly as the picture comes, it melts away.

  “Kalli, you okay?” Ellis asks.

  “Yeah, fine,” I say, shrugging myself free of the memory.

  We are standing in front of his door. It’s made of solid steel. Nothing can break in or out.

  “Here we are.” The feel of his warm, sweet breath against my skin calms the hairs standing on the back of my neck, and his soothing voice unclenches my stomach. Ignoring my tangled thoughts, I move through the open door.

  CHAPTER 4

  “Ooh,” I gasp. A scent of fresh pine and cinnamon wafts throughout Ellis’s home. It smells like him, and I love it immediately. Wide wooden planks cover the floors. There are several brightly colored sofas and armchairs placed throughout, and many large, tree-like plants grow from enormous clay pots. I’ve never seen anything like them. The leaves sparkle. Tiny yellow flowers hang like pendants from the branches. The ceiling, a crisscross of thick timber, is so high the trees have grown to great heights despite being indoors. The walls are entirely concealed by books. Thousands of books. It’s positively the most brilliant place I’ve ever set my eyes on.