All the Broken Pieces: (Broken Series Book 3)
Page 21
“Glad to see the hot water supply was replenished in time for your shower.”
I glanced behind me, expecting to see steam rolling out of the open doorway. It wasn’t.
“I assumed.” Lauren explained. “If you’d taken a cold shower…” her eyes lingered on the burgeoning erection pressing against my boxer briefs. “I’d imagine there would have been shrinkage.” Her tongue darted out to trail over her lower lip as she stared. “And I’d say the opposite is true, wouldn’t you?”
Stalling for time to get my thoughts together, I went back to drying my hair, leaving it an erratic mess as I watched her. It had been quite a while since anything sexual had happened between us, and I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation.
In the past, she’d sought me out as a way to regain control when things were bad. Was that what she was doing now? Was this her way of processing what she’d done with the file folder? Did she really want me at all?
Of course, my dick was screaming ‘stop the introspective shit and get me in there, idiot!’ but I wasn’t about to let the prospect of sex blur the reality of the situation.
“Lauren… if this is… I mean, why now? Why tonight?” I didn’t want to offend her, but I needed to know.
“You mean am I using you again, right? You think I’m doing this because I’m upset or scared or whatever, don’t you?” There was no accusation or hurt in her tone, she actually seemed more amused than anything.
“It crossed my mind,” I admitted. “I told you, I understand needing to regain control, I do, but I can’t keep…”
“I want you.” She smiled, no longer the temptress she’d been a moment before. “After what I did tonight, taking that step to break the hold those memories had on me, I feel empowered. I don’t need to do anything to feel in control because I’m already in control. I proved that to myself today. And wanting you tonight, that’s about me finally being okay with letting go.” She shifted her gaze to the blankets, nervously smoothing them under her with her hands. “I wanted you to… I mean, I’ve never let anyone…”
I dropped the towel to the floor and climbed onto the bed, sitting on my knees at her side, facing her. “You wanted me to what, baby?”
She looked in my direction but didn’t quite meet my gaze. “I’m sure you’ve noticed that every time we… well… when the time came… I was the one who finished myself off.”
“Yeah, I noticed.” I reached out and brushed a few strands of hair from her face. “Are you telling me you’ve never orgasmed unless it was your own doing?”
She nodded, still looking away from my face.
“But you’ve gotten close?” I knew damn well she had, I’d felt the swelling of her clit under my tongue that first night. Ten more seconds was all it would have taken, probably less.
“The only times I’ve gotten close were the times I’ve been with you. It’s like the orgasms were trying to sneak up on me. But I always moved away before I came because I couldn’t fathom the idea of losing control like that, giving that power to anyone, even you.” She shrugged. “Honestly, I never used to even get that turned on during sex. It wasn’t about the act itself, it was about knowing that I held the power to make someone orgasm, or I could withhold that release for as long as I wanted, making their body respond however I wanted. I never enjoyed being touched or kissed or penetrated.” Her crystalline blue eyes met mine. “Until you.”
She shook her head, a small laugh escaping her. “You managed to sneak past every damn barrier I ever had, do you know that? That day at the hospital, you slipped right into my life and I was too distracted to notice until it was too late. By then, you’d become important to me, and people don’t ever get that distinction if I can help it. But you did. You’re my best friend, Brant. I’m glad you sneaked into my life and I’m even happier that you stayed.” She blinked a few times but I didn’t see the tears fall. “So, to answer your question, no. I don’t want you in reaction to something else. For the first time in my life, I’m doing what I want. And I want you.” She held out a hand and moved to lie back on the pillows. “I’m handing you the reins tonight, Brant. I’m taking that step, letting go of that control, and giving that moment to you.”
I followed her as she lay back, pressing my chest into hers, trailing my hands up her sides as I dropped soft kisses onto her full lips.
She moaned softly into my mouth at the first stroke of my tongue, pulling back and gripping my face in her hands. She searched my eyes for a moment and smiled. “I want to be screaming your name when I come, Brant. Make this first orgasm one for the record books.”
I flicked her bottom lip with my tongue, grinding my erection into the heat at the juncture of her parted thighs. “It will be, baby. And so will the second, and the third, and every one after that. I’ve waited forever for this chance and I don’t plan on squandering one single second of it.” I nipped her lip with my teeth and pressed my cock against her until she gasped. “Tonight is all about you and I’m gonna see to it that you never want it to end.”
•••
Lauren
It was amazing how much difference one decision could make in a person’s life. Seeing Brant with that file had both broken and repaired something inside me. Broken because despite years of time and distance from that place in my life, I still carried around shame and guilt over what happened to me, and I was afraid that he would see me as dirty or damaged after reading those pages. Broken was my default setting, the cold feeling that would wash over me every time one of those memories sneaked into the forefront of my mind.
I’d felt that cold rush seeing him with that folder in his hand but then something else crept in.
Peace.
Because I knew that nothing in that file, nothing Brant would ever read or hear about me would ever change the amazing way he looked at me; like I was a prize not a problem, a blessing instead of a burden.
That knowledge repaired something somewhere inside, and began knitting back together the torn pieces of my soul.
I’d stood in that shower knowing he was reading those things about me, and it didn’t scare me one bit. Because I knew he wouldn’t see me differently. Because he knew I wasn’t that girl.
And it was high fucking time I reminded myself of that.
So I burned the file and that girl to ash, the searing heat binding together my broken pieces like metal in a forge.
I wasn’t ever going to be that girl again.
And tonight—for the first time—I would be the woman I was meant to be.
With Brant.
Not because I needed to but because I wanted to.
Because he was all I could see when I closed my eyes at night.
Because he made me stronger and happier.
He gave me hope for the first time in my life.
And more than that… he made me love.
His eyes were hooded with desire as he skimmed my jaw with soft kisses, one hand propping himself up and the other gripping my hip. I could feel his breath in my hair, skittering over my ear, my neck. I could tell by the heavy exhalations that he was more than a little aroused, but he kept his pace slow, his touch soft and deliberate. It was like he was lighting me up, one nerve ending at a time.
I turned my face into his neck as he kissed his way across my shoulders, breathing in the crisp, woodsy scent of his body wash. He smelled so damn good. Most times I would catch a faint whiff of the fragrance and it was enough to turn me on, but this? This was his warm body draped across mine, his breath on my neck, that scent filling my senses until I felt torn between taking deep, hungry breaths of it and actually biting his neck.
I’d never been this way with anyone before. Usually, by now I would be well into my game, teasing, taunting, making him squirm and beg to get inside me. I was always detached with my lovers, separate even when our bodies were joined. Even when they were in me, I didn’t let them in.
But I wasn’t holding anything back from Brant, not anymore. Not ever again.
This night… I wanted him to make me his.
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” He breathed against my collarbone, settling his weight on his bent knees which straddled my left leg and placing both his hands on my waist. His thumbs stroked my belly, tickling at first. “Not just when you’re like this, but all the time.” He worked his way to the top of my breast, nuzzling the soft flesh with his nose. “You’re stunning when you first wake up in the morning, and when you’re half asleep,” he moved lower, circling my nipple with the tip of his tongue. “When you giggle and do that dance after a game of pool, my God… it makes me so hard.”
I bent my left leg, carefully bringing my knee up to rub across his erection. “Really? Why didn’t you say anything?”
He groaned low in his throat as I traced the hard length of him with my knee, wishing I could reach him with my hands.
Or my mouth.
“I figured it would be a little forward to ask if you minded being bent over the pool table and fucked into oblivion.” He pulled my nipple into his mouth and sucked hard, grazing it with his teeth in a way that sent a jolt straight to my core.
“Mmm… I like the way that sounds. Can we try that tomorrow?”
He pressed himself against my knee. “Baby, I’ll take you on every flat surface in this entire mansion, and against every goddamn wall. All you have to do is say the word.”
I sat up as much as I was able and reached between us, gripping him hard through his boxer briefs. “Let’s start right here and tomorrow we’ll start venturing to other locations.” I stroked downward, moving to cup his heavy sac and giving it a little squeeze.
He pulled back out of my reach and laughed when I looked up at him, in full pout mode at having my favorite toy taken away. “Sounds like a plan. Now,” He grabbed the hem of my tank top and pulled it up and over my head, pointing to the pillows once he was done. “Lie back and let me return to making you feel good. I’m just getting started and if you keep stroking me like that, I’ll end up rushing ahead just to get inside you.”
I wasn’t done pouting. “But I want you inside me. So much.” I squirmed against the mattress just thinking about it, anticipating that moment of pure bliss I’d feel as he sank inside me, thick and hard, pressing deep. I reached out to touch him again and he batted my hand away, shaking his head and smiling.
“Nuh-uh. And stop looking at me like that. You’re not going to goad me into anything with that seductive stare.” He chewed his lip and looked me up and down. “Well, you probably could goad me into it but that would be you running the show and that wasn’t what you wanted. Right?”
I glared at him a little, annoyed that he was right. Instead of confirming that, I lay back against the pillows and crossed my arms over my chest, being petulant just for the hell of it.
“Oh, it’s like that, huh?” He chuckled, leaning forward and holding my eye as he captured my nipple between his teeth and tugged lightly.
My arms fell away and he settled over me, this time his body was squarely on top of mine, his weight once again braced on one arm. I reached up and gripped his hair in one hand, pulling him closer as he sucked at first one nipple, then the other. His teeth delivered small stinging nips followed by soft, slow laps of his tongue. He worked me into a frenzy this way, and soon I was writhing against him and moaning as I gripped his hair, his shoulders, his neck.
He looked up at me with a half-smirk, my nipple still fully in his mouth, and pulled back until it slowly popped free, dragging his teeth over the tip for good measure.
I moaned and lifted my hips, trying to grind into whatever part of his body was available. I needed him to touch me there soon or I felt the real threat of tears. I was that desperate for him.
He moved up and claimed my mouth, thrusting his tongue into it the same way I wanted him thrusting his cock into my pussy. I sucked at his tongue, his lips, bit and moaned and hissed when he pressed his erection into my belly.
“I’ve got to taste the rest of you. It’s been so long since I had my face buried in your pussy, I may eat you alive.” The pitch of his voice, the feel of him sliding down my body, the sound of his ragged breathing, all had my core clenching in expectation. He dragged my plain cotton bikinis down my legs and took a minute to look at my body, starting from head to toe and back up to meet my eyes. “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful as you lying there with that look in your eyes, knowing it’s for me.”
I pressed my hand to my breast, stroking it a moment before trailing it down my abdomen and over my mound, parting my legs as I went. “It’s all for you. Everything. Take it all. It’s yours.”
He slid down further on the bed and gripped my ankles, pushing my legs wide and forcing my ankles up so that my knees were bent, opening me to him. Every inch of me was exposed, there for his inspection, his pleasure. He trailed the backs of his fingers up my inner thigh, slowly moving toward where I wanted him. My hips dipped and rotated of their own volition, seeking a way to ease the pressure, the ache.
Instead of touching me there, he drew his hand back down my thigh toward my knee, smirking as I glared at him impatiently. “Do you want my fingers in you? My mouth on you? Hmm?” His voice was teasing, but his hand crept closer and his tongue swept across his lower lip in anticipation.
I refused to answer, which made him laugh.
“Someone is getting impatient, I see.”
I huffed in response, unsuccessfully trying to scoot lower as he made another pass at my inner thigh, hoping for even an accidental touch; that was all I wanted. Well, not all I wanted, but dammit, it was a start.
He chuckled again and finally—finally!—settled one finger at my entrance, barely pressing inside as he moved himself to lie on his belly between my wide-open legs. He was so close I could feel the heat of his breath on my exposed core. He looked up at me then, his fingertip barely resting against my opening and his mouth barely an inch from my pussy. “As much as I want to be buried inside you to feel this first orgasm, I can’t pass up the chance to taste it on my tongue.”
His every word was an actual caress, his mouth was that close. Maybe if he talked long enough, I could come from just the sensation of his breath on my skin.
“You want this?” he asked, his eyes on mine as he pressed his finger inside a scant inch, setting off a million little charges inside me at that slight touch.
“Yes. I want you to make me come. Please, Brant.” I wiggled my hips but he pulled back when I tried to thrust toward him, unwilling to give me the upper hand even for a moment. I groaned in frustration and threw my head back into the pillows.
In an instant, his mouth was on me, sealing over my clit as he sucked the sensitive nub into his mouth and thrashed it with his tongue, simultaneously thrusting his finger into me. He pumped it into my pussy twice before adding another finger, stretching me further. I gasped and screamed at the intensity of the sensation, every nerve-ending in my body suddenly on fire.
He released my clit momentarily and repositioned himself so that his free hand was now gripping my breast, kneading and rolling the soft flesh under his fingers, tugging at the nipple as he fingered me and set back to work with his mouth. He sucked my clit into his mouth again, lapping at it over and over with a flattened tongue until I was screaming his name, one hand gripping my other breast so hard it would leave bruises.
I looked down at where his mouth was locked onto my core and found him watching me, his eyes full of passion and lust and something else that I wasn’t sure I was ready to acknowledge. But whether I wanted to accept it or not, seeing it there on his face pushed me over the edge, my body shuddering and writhing as I came apart under his expert ministrations, our eyes locked as wave after wave rolled over me until blackness threatened to overtake my vision and I thought I might pass out.
Brant slowed his strokes, going from determined and raw to soft and soothing as my orgasm subsided. He moved his hand away but still trailed kisses over my sensitive clit, giving my entire
slit soft slow licks and open-mouthed kisses. It was amazing, it was like he couldn’t get enough of my taste or the feel of me on his tongue, and even though he knew I was sensitive in my post-orgasmic state, he just had to keep kissing me, touching me.
“I love you.”
Thirteen
Brant
Oh.
Holy.
Shit.
We both froze, wide-eyed and startled into silence by the three words that had just changed both our lives.
Lauren looked like she wanted to run and I couldn’t fucking remember how to breathe.
My lungs protested painfully and after a moment, I was able to drag in a ragged breath.
“You don’t have to say it back. I shouldn’t have just blurted it out like that. I’m sorry.” Lauren’s voice was shaky, embarrassed, like she couldn’t believe she’d just said those words out loud.
I couldn’t believe it either, but I’d be goddamned if I was going to let her regret it. I lifted myself up and moved to lie beside her, the taste of her still on my lips. I gathered her hand and held it against my chest, searching her eyes. “I fell in love with you a long time ago. I was just waiting until you were ready for me to tell you.” I gave her my best smile and leaned in to kiss her lightly on the lips.
She grinned up at me, blinking rapidly.
Our gazes locked for a moment that stretched on forever, each of us processing the magnitude of the moment with stunned smiles and overflowing hearts.
Finally, after blinking back the last of her gathering tears, Lauren chuckled and said, “I can’t believe you love me back. You really are a weirdo.”
“And you really are the love of my life.” I kissed her again, leaning into her until she was pressed against the pillows and I was positioning myself over her, suddenly dying to get back to our lovemaking. And that’s what it was. Not fucking, hooking up, or random sex. This was so much more.