The Complete Death Du Jour Mystery Collection

by Hillary Avis

  Clementine sighed and shook her head. “I’m not ready for another relationship right now—not after everything that has happened this week.”

  “You just had a bad break-up?”

  Clementine hesitated. “Well, yes and no. He stopped talking to me, and I did everything to win him back, but then—”

  “Then what?” Bethany prompted.

  “Then he died,” Clementine finished miserably, her eyes welling up with tears. “Right in front of me.”

  Realization dawned on Bethany. “Wait a minute—you and Judge Gallagher had a thing?”

  “We were in love!” Clementine wailed, and then reduced her volume when the nearest tables of hipsters looked up from their screens. “That’s why I entered the cook-off in the first place. He blocked all my numbers and bounced my emails and I just wanted a chance to talk to him. So I made his favorite toast, but they made me throw it away, and then he wouldn’t even taste my chili...” she trailed off, tears streaming down her cheeks. She grabbed a few napkins and scrubbed them away frantically. “Keep it together, Clem. Keep it together!”

  So that explains why she was so devastated when he collapsed! But it also meant that she had a grudge against the judge, too. A motive, maybe?

  “Why did he break it off?” Bethany asked, trying to keep the tone light, just friendly curiosity.

  “The campaign.” Clementine snuffled. “He didn’t want any skeletons in the closet for Mayor Strauss to sniff out—that’s what he said.”

  “You must have been pretty angry about that.”

  She shook her head. “I was just confused. Before he decided to run for mayor, he was going to divorce Mimi. But she’s got connections, you know? I mean, her brother’s famous and knows all kinds of rich people who could donate to his campaign. But I don’t know how he could walk away from what we have. What we had,” she amended, and dissolved into a fresh round of tears.

  Bethany handed her another bunch of napkins. “So you just wanted to talk to him, then? Not hurt him.”

  Clementine shook her head. “Why would I want to hurt him? I just wanted him back. I thought maybe after the election, we could be together secretly, like JFK and Marilyn Monroe or something...” She shrugged. “I never asked him to give up anything for me.”

  “Someone saw you add something to his bowl of chili, though. What was that?”

  Clementine’s eyes went wide with surprise. Gotcha. She turned around and fished something out from under the counter, a tiny brown bottle that she handed to Bethany.

  Bethany took it without thinking, and then almost dropped it when she realized it might contain poison. She set it carefully on the counter, making a mental note to wash that hand thoroughly as soon as she was able. “What is it?”

  “Coconut aminos. I carry them everywhere. I know Trent likes them, so when my toast got taken away, I added them to his bowl. I was desperate.” Clementine smiled sheepishly. “I hoped he’d realize I was thinking of him when he tasted them in the chili. But he didn’t get to taste it.”

  She seems like she genuinely cared for Judge Gallagher. And her relationship with him explained all her erratic behavior. “I’m sorry, Clementine. I didn’t realize. It’s terrible that he passed away before you had a chance to reconcile.”

  “Thanks.” Clementine dabbed her eyes. “You won’t tell anyone, will you?”

  Bethany shook her head. “Of course not.” Milo was still deep in conversation with Chuck and Ned. She wondered if he’d uncovered a bombshell like she had. “Hey—you knew the judge pretty well, right?”

  Clementine nodded.

  “Did he have any enemies?”

  “Besides his wife?” Clementine smiled wryly.

  “She knew about the affair?”

  Clementine shook her head. “Well, sort of. She knew he had a relationship with someone, but she didn’t know it was me. She was livid about it—and so was her brother.” She glanced warily toward Chuck’s table, but seemed to relax once she realized he couldn’t hear her. “It’s a good thing he never found out who it was, because I think he might kill me if he knew. That’s why he wasn’t speaking to Trent—he was furious over the affair.”

  “Yikes. I wouldn’t want that guy mad at me either.”

  “If you think he’s bad, you should meet Mimi,” Clementine said darkly.

  Bethany laughed. “I’ll pass, thanks!”

  Clementine smiled. “It’s really nice having someone to talk to about this stuff. I hope you’ll come by again.”

  It has been nice, actually. “I will. Maybe next time I’ll try the Tender Splendor. What’s on it?”

  Clementine’s face fell. “I haven’t decided yet. I suggested cashew-hemp butter, but Chuck gave it a thumbs-down.”

  “Maybe a vegan ham-and-toasted-cheese? That’d fit your brand, plus it’d be great with a dab of hot sauce. And it’s kind of a play on ‘deviled ham,’ which fits the Condemented image, too.”

  “Wow, I love that idea.” Clementine gave her an appreciative look. “Thanks—I’ll suggest it to Chuck.”

  Out of the corner of her eye, Bethany saw Milo get to his feet. She smiled at Clementine. “I’d better get going. But stay in touch, OK? We can talk menus another time.” She made her way over to where Milo stood at the table and was saying his goodbyes.

  Milo smiled at her. “Ready to head out?”

  She nodded and gave a little half-wave to Ned and Chuck before heading to the exit. Milo held the door. “Get anything interesting from Clementine?” he asked.

  She hesitated. Clementine had asked her not to tell anyone about the affair. And what good was dragging a dead man and his widow into a town scandal? The news would only hurt people—it wouldn’t solve Judge Gallagher’s murder. I believe Clementine—she didn’t poison the man she loved.

  “I found out what Clementine put in the judge’s chili,” she said finally. She kept her eyes averted so he wouldn’t suspect she was omitting anything. “It’s something called coconut aminos. She carries them everywhere, and she thought it’d help her out once her toast was off the menu.”

  “You believe her?” Milo asked as he watched her unlock the bikes.

  “I do. She has them in the restaurant—Charley can test them and see, but I’m pretty sure Clementine is harmless. How about you? Any new info from The Tenderizer and The Tenderized?” She grinned at him.

  He chuckled at the joke. “That poor guy. I thought my editor was tough! I can’t imagine working for someone who constantly bashed me.”

  “I’m a little scared of him,” Bethany admitted. “I feel like one wrong move, and he’ll broadcast to the world that I’m a terrible chef.”

  “Is that how you feel around me?” Milo’s expression was full of genuine concern.

  She stood and patted his arm. “Well, at least your circulation is only regional! But yeah, a little.”

  “You don’t have to be afraid of that.” His gaze was so open and direct that she looked away after a few seconds. He used one finger to gently turn her face back toward his. “Hey. I mean it. I’d never write anything that I thought would damage you or your career. I love your food.”

  She blushed furiously. Somehow the L-word applied to her food felt as intimate as if he’d said he loved her. She took a step back and changed the topic. “Did you ask Chuck why he didn’t mention that he was related to Trent Gallagher?”

  Milo nodded. “He said Trent rubbed everyone the wrong way. Probably had a lot of enemies, both personal and political.”

  “Any names of these enemies?

  “Well, he said Alex never got over his sister. His exact words were”—Milo pulled out his notebook and consulted it—“‘he’d still do anything for her.’”

  “Even kill her husband?”

  “That’s what I asked. Chuck said, in typical form, ‘Who knows. Dude is a mess.’ And Ned chimed in that Alex obviously had questionable judgment based on his seafood chili.”

  Bethany giggled. She was beginning to like Ned�
��s brand of quiet snark more and more. “I can’t say I disagree with him. Alex has always had a bad temper. I imagine if he really cared about someone and they were wronged, he might do something drastic.”

  “That’s our best lead.” Milo swung a leg over his bike. “I hope Charley’s pleased with what we’ve uncovered.”

  “Pleased might be the wrong word, but I hope it will help her investigation.” And I hope that keeping Clementine’s secret doesn’t mess things up too much.

  “Will I see you at the game?” Milo asked.

  She nodded. “Wouldn’t miss it—mostly because Charley wouldn’t speak to me again! I’m going to go home and get Kimmy, and then we’ll go down to the field later.”

  “Great!” He waved goodbye and pushed off, grinning at her over his shoulder. The bike wobbled as he narrowly dodged a light pole.

  Bethany smiled. Softball was far from her favorite sport, but she had a feeling she was going to enjoy this particular game.

  Chapter 13

  MONDAY NIGHT

  MILO AND CHARLEY RODE in the back seat of Kimmy’s Honda on the way home from the game. Their triumphant cheers were punctuated by high-fives.

  “The way you fielded that fly in the ninth?” Charley said, her cheeks flushed. “Epic.”

  “Same to you, Ms. Three-homers-in-one-game!” They exchanged another round of high-fives and whoops.

  In the driver’s seat, Kimmy rolled her eyes, but she was grinning at them in the rearview mirror. “We’ve got a couple winners on our hands, Bethany.”

  “I know—what are we going to do with them?”

  “Feed us!” Charley demanded.

  Bethany grinned. “I think that can be arranged.”

  Back at the cottage, she and Kimmy worked in the kitchen prepping nachos using Bethany’s leftover trial chili while Charley and Milo sat on the couch recounting their winning game, play-by-play.

  “And then Dawson slid on her belly all the way to third! She scraped half the skin off her chin, I swear!” Charley crowed.

  “I know, I think her teeth went through her lip. She’s a freaking war hero.”

  Kimmy and Bethany exchanged an amused look.

  “I’m glad they got to blow off some steam,” Kimmy said. “Charley’s so frustrated about the case. Seems like she and Coop are just at a dead end with the investigation.

  “Milo and I turned up a couple things”—Bethany raised her voice so he could hear—“right, Milo?”

  “What?” he asked from the living room.

  “I said we got some potential leads today! Did you tell Charley about them?” She sprinkled a handful of diced jalapeños over a layer of grated cheese on the nachos and slid the pan into the oven.

  “No, he didn’t tell me anything!” Charley got off the couch and came over to the breakfast bar. “Did you talk to everyone?”

  Milo joined them in the kitchen. “We interviewed Alex, Garrett, Clementine, and Chuck Bolton.” He counted on his fingers. “Café Sabine was closed, so we didn’t talk to Monsieur Adrian.”

  “I think he left for France,” Kimmy said. “At least, that’s what he said.”

  “And we didn’t talk to the mayor,” Bethany added.

  “Scarlett Strauss isn’t a suspect, though. I already spoke with her at her office, anyway,” Charley said dismissively.

  “I know. It’s just—well, something about her has been bothering me.” Bethany furrowed her forehead, trying to put her finger on what it was. “When she left the cook-off tent after you came in and told us that the judge didn’t make it? I swear she was smiling. It wasn’t a grin or anything, but it was there.”

  “It wouldn’t surprise me if part of her was a little pleased,” Milo said, nodding his head. “I mean, Judge Gallagher was her political opponent. With him out of the way, she’s a shoo-in for reelection.”

  Charley looked skeptical. “She’s still not a suspect. She wasn’t even present when Ned was poisoned.”

  Kimmy shuddered. “I don’t know how you all can sit here talking about this when we’re about to eat. It’s morbid.”

  “Sorry, honey.” Charley leaned against her and nuzzled her shoulder. “Shop talk. I promise it won’t go on all night.”

  Charley’s mention of Ned set Bethany’s brain whirring. I’ve been so focused on solving Judge Gallagher’s murder that I forgot Ned was the first victim! The killer didn’t just have a problem with the judge—he or she had a problem with Ned, too.

  “I feel like we missed something,” she said to Milo. “We asked everyone today about their relationship with the judge, but we didn’t talk to them about the first poisoning. We totally let the killer off the hook.”

  “Tell me everything,” Charley said. “Maybe we can read between the lines.”

  The timer dinged and Kimmy pulled the nachos out of the oven. Bethany topped them with sour cream and salsa and put them in the middle of the kitchen table. “Come on over and dig in, everyone.”

  They gathered around the pan of crisp tortilla chips, spicy beef, and melted cheese, and Charley rubbed her hands together. “You don’t need to tell me twice!”

  “Man, these are good.” Milo wiped a string of cheese off his chin and grinned. “I think you might win that fan favorite thing, Bethany. I can’t get over this spice blend. What’s in it?”

  Bethany pantomimed zipping her lips shut. “I’ll never tell. Yasmin made me swear! But you can go to her shop and sniff around—literally—and maybe you’ll recognize some chilies. But I’m surprised! I thought you didn’t like spicy food.”

  “I think you’ve converted me.” Milo cleaned his hands on a napkin and took out his notebook. “OK—first we talked to Alex.”

  Kimmy groaned, no fan of Alex after witnessing what Bethany had gone through while working for him. Bethany giggled. “What, you’re not going to go apply down at the Grotto?” She blinked innocently.

  “Definitely not!” Kimmy elbowed her playfully.

  “He was a jerk as usual,” Bethany said. “He said that Chuck used to beat him up when they were in school together.”

  Charley nodded. “That doesn’t surprise me. Once a bully, always a bully. Did he cop to still having the hots for Mimi?”

  Milo shook his head. “He specifically said he didn’t have feelings for her anymore, but he admitted to following Trent on social media to keep tabs on their marriage.”

  “Do you think he had bad intentions toward him?”

  Milo hemmed and hawed. “I couldn’t tell. He kind of clammed up at that point. He told us to go talk to Clementine Gourd.”

  “Clementine?!” Charley looked shocked. “Why would Alex point to her?”

  Because she and the judge were having an affair. Bethany bit her tongue. It wasn’t her secret to tell—not unless it became relevant, anyway.

  Milo shrugged. “He’s not the only one. We stopped and talked to Garrett on the way, and he said he saw Clementine put something in the judge’s bowl of chili!”

  Kimmy gasped. “What if she poisons someone else? I’m never eating at Toast with the Most again!”

  “Don’t say that! That’s exactly the attitude that will ruin Newbridge’s reputation if news of the poisoning gets out.” Bethany stared pointedly at Milo.

  “The news will get out. But I get your point,” he said. “I don’t want to connect the poisoning to a Newbridge restaurant, but I don’t see how I can avoid it when all the suspects are local chefs!”

  “Well, let’s start by not jumping to conclusions. I’m the one who talked to Clementine, and she said she added coconut aminos to the judge’s chili. She always carries a bottle in her purse, and she knew he liked them.”

  Kimmy sat back in her chair and raised an eyebrow. “How’d she know that?”

  Busted. Now I’ll have to tell—

  “He was probably a customer at Toast,” Milo said. He picked up another nacho and popped it into his mouth.

  Phew. Thanks for the save. Bethany nodded. “She mentioned that she
made Texas toast because he liked it. He was probably a regular. Makes sense that he would be. Toast is down by the courthouse. I bet a lot of people who work in town government eat there at lunch.”

  “Do you believe her?” Charley asked Bethany. “I mean, about the coconut amigos?”

  “Aminos. And yeah, I do. She even showed me the bottle—it was still in her purse.”

  Kimmy made a face. “I still don’t want to eat anywhere the chef keeps the condiments in her purse.”

  “You don’t have to eat there. All I’m saying is that I don’t think she poisoned anyone. She’s a little silly, but she’s not a bad person. She didn’t want to hurt the judge, and she doesn’t have anything against Ned!”

  “That’s the thing, though,” Charley said slowly. “None of the contestants are bad people, are they? But one of them is the murderer.”

  A chill came over the table and they all stopped eating.

  “Yeah, even Alex is usually trying to do the right thing,” Bethany admitted. “And I kinda hate the guy. We’re going about this all backward. We’re looking at a big pile of vegetables and trying to brainstorm all the kinds of soup we could make. Instead, we should look at the soup! Then the recipe will be clear.”

  Charley furrowed her brow. “I’m not sure I follow.”

  “Sorry, food metaphor.” Bethany grinned. “I need a translator!”

  Kimmy put her hand on Charley’s arm. “She means that instead of trying to figure out who did it, we need to understand the crime better. Then the murderer will be obvious.”

  Bethany nodded. “And I’m not talking about Judge Gallagher’s murder—I’m talking about Ned’s!”

  “The Ned who wasn’t murdered?” Charley asked wryly.

  “The Ned who was almost murdered. The Ned that the killer tried to murder. The Ned who is probably still in danger,” Bethany said.

  Milo tilted his head to the side, considering her words. “It’s true, we don’t know very much about him. We’ve spent so much time connecting the dots between the contestants and Judge Gallagher that we haven’t really paid Ned any attention.”