A Secret Rebellion

by Anne Mather

  ‘Do what?’ she asked huskily, gazing up at him, and with an anguished groan he bent his head to hers.

  His mouth was hot and feverish, and painfully urgent, his hands cupping her throat with unnecessary force. She wasn’t going anywhere, she thought dizzily, as his anxious grip almost robbed her of air. This was where she wanted to be, for however long he wanted her, and it was not until the baby stirred inside her that she found the strength to draw back from him.

  Immediately, he let her go, his hands falling to his sides, as if she represented some form of contamination he couldn’t cope with. ‘I’m sorry,’ he muttered, raking an unsteady hand through the uncombed tumble of his hair. Then, his lips curling with undisguised mockery, he tried to dismiss what had happened with a few careless words. ‘I never could resist a beautiful woman!’

  Beth’s insides rebelled, but, although the temptation to take what he’d said at face value tugged at her emotions, she had to be sure. ‘And—and is that all I am?’ she asked softly. ‘Just another pretty woman?’

  ‘What else?’

  Alex held up his head, and now she could read nothing from his eyes. They were blank; opaque; and, although her heart was telling her it wasn’t true, her mind was telling her something else. This was Alex Thiarchos, she reminded herself tremulously. Men like Alex Thiarchos could have any woman they wanted.

  And, because there was only so much she could take, she nodded. ‘Right,’ she said, picking up her bag, and looping it over her shoulder. ‘What else?’

  She was going down the stairs, when a man appeared from the back of the house. He was a thin man, of middle years, in shirt-sleeves and a patterned waistcoat. He looked at Beth in some surprise, and then offered a polite smile.

  ‘Can I help you?’

  Beth didn’t trust herself to speak. She just shook her head, and, as if sensing she was near to tears, the man came forward.

  ‘I think you ought to come and sit down for a few minutes,’ he said, his eyes bright and sympathetic. ‘I’ll make you a cup of tea. I don’t suppose Mr Thiarchos offered you any refreshment, did he?’

  ‘Oh, really—’ Beth got the words out with an effort. ‘I’m fine, really.’ She sniffed. ‘I think I’m getting a cold, that’s all.’

  The man looked sceptical, but before he could say anything more Alex appeared at the top of the stairs. ‘What the hell is going on down there?’ he demanded, and Beth saw to her dismay that he had another full glass of whisky in his hand. He started down the stairs. ‘Mallory! When did you get back?’

  ‘I arrived home just a few minutes ago, Mr Thiarchos,’ the man replied, undaunted by Alex’s aggressive tone. ‘I was just suggesting to Miss—er—’

  He looked at Beth, and she muttered, ‘Haley,’ in a low reluctant voice.

  ‘Haley?’ echoed the man in surprise, and, forgetting all about what he had been going to say, he looked incredulously at Alex. ‘This is Miss Haley?’

  ‘Shut up, Mallory!’ Alex came all the way down the stairs, and thrust his glass on to the polished surface of a semi-circular hall table. ‘Miss Haley was just leaving.’

  ‘But Alex—’

  Alex swung round on him. ‘I said, shut up, Mallory,’ he snarled, and Beth, who was feeling in need of some fresh air, groped weakly for the door.

  ‘But you wanted to see Miss Haley,’ Mallory was protesting, as she fumbled with the latch. ‘I thought you said—’

  But that was the last thing Beth remembered before the dizziness she had been fighting engulfed her. Although she tried to fight it, the blackness was beckoning, and, with a little sigh, she slid unconscious to the floor.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  WHEN Beth came round, she was lying on a soft velvet sofa, in a room she had never seen before. It was an elegant room, not too large, but high-ceilinged, with another velvet couch facing the one she was lying on, across an Adam-style hearth. There were soft green velvet drapes at the windows, and a pale striped paper on the walls, and an air of peace and tranquillity that was much at odds with the scene she remembered before she passed out.

  She quivered, as the memory of that scene came back to her. Dear God! Was she still in Alex’s house? She had been so desperate to escape, and it was galling to think that her own body’s weakness had betrayed her.

  ‘How are you feeling?’

  Someone, a male, moved into her line of vision, and she saw it was the man she had met earlier. What was his name? Mallory? Yes, that was right: Mallory. Alex must have deputed him to look after her, and then get rid of her. Was he the one who had carried her into this elegant drawing-room? Had he just been waiting for her to come round?

  Shame, and embarrassment, had her levering herself up on her elbows, but Mallory pressed her back, with a gentle hand on her shoulder. ‘Relax,’ he said. ‘Alex won’t be long. He brought you in here, and as soon as he was satisfied you were going to be all right he went to make himself more respectable. Now—how about that cup of tea?’

  ‘Just some water, please.’ Beth swallowed. ‘I’m sure I’m being an awful nuisance.’

  ‘Don’t you believe it.’ Mallory’s thin face creased into a knowing smile. ‘We’ve all been praying you’d show up before Alex did something really desperate.’

  Beth gazed up at him. ‘You’re not serious!’

  ‘You’d better believe it.’ The man crossed the room to pour some mineral water into a glass, and brought it back to her. ‘Have you any idea of the trouble you’ve caused?’

  ‘That will do, Mallory.’

  Alex’s voice was harsh, but mercifully sober, and Beth shuffled into a sitting position to take the glass as he entered the room. Her skirt rode up her thighs as she did so, and she hurriedly brushed it down, but not before Mallory had seen and admired the slender length of her legs.

  ‘Will that be all, Mr Thiarchos?’ he enquired, but Beth could tell by his smile that there was a genuine affection between the two men that went far beyond that of employer and employee.

  ‘For now,’ agreed Alex, coming to take his place beside the sofa. ‘But we may want lunch later. I’ll let you know.’

  Beth glanced up at his words, her eyes registering the fact that he had evidently showered and shaved. The dark stubble had disappeared from his chin, and his hair was damp and gleaming. Instead of the crumpled trousers and sweater, he was wearing black chinos, and a matching polo shirt, and although he still looked pale his eyes were definitely clearer.

  ‘Fine.’

  Mallory offered her a cheerful grimace as he left the room, and Beth wished she could feel as confident as he did that Alex really wanted her here.

  The door closed, and as soon as it had done so Alex dropped down on to his haunches beside her. ‘So?’ he said. ‘Are you all right?’ His eyes were dark and concerned. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you like that.’

  Beth pressed her lips together. ‘No, I know.’ She hesitated. ‘I shouldn’t have come here uninvited. It was my fault.’

  Alex shook his head. ‘Don’t be silly,’ he said tersely. ‘I behaved like a fool. I’ve got no excuse, except the fact that I’ve been feeling pretty low lately. But that’s not your fault, and I shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on you.’

  ‘Shouldn’t you?’ Beth took a nervous breath, and put the glass aside. ‘According to Mallory, it’s all my fault.’

  Alex swore, and then made a muttered apology. ‘Mallory should keep his big mouth shut,’ he declared harshly. ‘Besides, he knows nothing about it. It’s my problem, not his.’

  Beth looked at him then, and, as if unwilling to meet her searching gaze, he stared down at the carpet between his spread thighs. It was obvious he was doing his best to hide his emotions from her, and, taking her life into her hands, she reached out and ran her fingers down his smooth cheek.

  His reaction was violent. With a muffled groan, he lifted his hand and covered hers, turning her palm against his mouth, and pressing a hot kiss against her moist skin. Then, with equal vehemenc
e, he thrust her hand away from him, and got abruptly to his feet.

  ‘Alex!’ Her use of his name stopped him from moving away from her. But he didn’t look at her as she swung her legs to the floor, and got gracefully to her feet. ‘Alex—would it make any difference if I swore to you that I wasn’t hiding from you?’

  ‘Don’t lie to me, Beth.’

  ‘I’m not lying.’ And, as he still looked sceptical, she cupped his face in her hands. ‘Listen to me. When—when Linda and I got home from Greece, I went back to Sullem Cross. She must have told you. I was there when she got the results of her exams. That was when she told me you were back in London.’

  ‘So?’ Alex’s eyes darkened. ‘Did she also tell you about the God-awful row I had had with my father?’

  Beth nodded. ‘Not then. But later.’

  ‘Well?’ Alex moved a little restlessly under her hands. ‘It was a pretty traumatic time for me.’

  ‘I know that.’

  ‘Do you?’

  ‘I do now.’

  ‘But you weren’t sufficiently interested to wait for me.’

  ‘To wait for you?’ Beth’s thumbs stroked his cheeks. ‘Alex, you never asked me to wait for you.’

  He closed his eyes then, as if he couldn’t bear to go on looking at her, but his words were raw and painful. ‘I didn’t ask you?’ he echoed harshly. ‘My God, what else was I supposed to do? You knew how I felt about you! I told you in every way I knew.’

  Beth moistened her dry lips. ‘You said you—wanted me—’

  He opened his eyes again, and now they were stark and desperate. ‘And that wasn’t enough?’

  ‘You never said you—you loved me,’ she whispered, and with a groan he finally abandoned his control and reached for her.

  ‘Would you have believed me then?’ he exclaimed, sliding his hands into her hair, covering her face with helpless kisses. ‘Beth, we’d only known each other a short time. And our—introduction—wasn’t exactly orthodox. I wanted you to get to know me, really get to know me, before I laid that on you as well. But—God! You had to know there was more to it than just—lust! Believe me, I didn’t spend two months and a small fortune trying to find someone I just wanted to—well, have sex with!’

  Beth was trembling so much, she knew that if he hadn’t been supporting her, her knees would have given way. ‘But you didn’t come,’ she protested. ‘I waited two weeks!’

  ‘Two?’ Alex gazed down at her with incredulous eyes. ‘My God! I didn’t know there was a time limit. I really thought I had all the time in the world. And I had to get things organised here.’

  Beth swallowed. ‘I was sure you weren’t coming.’

  Alex brushed her mouth with his. ‘It mattered?’

  ‘Of course it mattered.’ Beth gazed up at him half tearfully. ‘Oh, Alex, I so desperately wanted to see you. And when I came here today—’

  Alex kissed her again, more forcefully this time, his tongue slipping easily between her teeth, and searching every moist contour of her mouth. ‘Today,’ he said huskily, when he released her mouth to explore the sensitive hollows of her ear, ‘today you saw a man at the end of his tether. A man who hadn’t the sense to believe what was staring him in the face. Oh, darling, I didn’t dare accept that you’d come for any other reason than that Linda had persuaded you. Don’t forget I had to persuade you to go to Greece.’

  ‘Oh, Alex!’

  ‘And,’ he added ruefully, ‘I have to admit I wasn’t totally immune to my father’s poison myself.’

  ‘Your father?’

  ‘Yes.’ Alex grimaced. ‘At the end of our confrontation, he informed me that a woman like you would never settle for something as simple as marriage to me. You were far too intelligent; far too ambitious. That’s why, when I found you’d disappeared again, I really gave up hope.’

  ‘Alex!’ With a little sob, she wound her arms around his neck, and pressed herself against him. ‘He was so wrong!’

  ‘Was he?’ Alex looked down at her with searching eyes. ‘I’m not a total chauvinist, you know. I’m quite prepared for you to go on with your career. So long as it’s a little nearer London, hmm? I don’t think I could live with there being a couple of hundred miles between us.’

  She shook her head. ‘I love you.’

  ‘I hope so,’ he agreed. ‘Whatever happens now, I’ll never let you go again.’

  * * *

  But would he forgive her? Beth wondered some time later, as she lay beside him on the sofa. Propping herself up on one elbow, she watched him as he slept. In sleep, the lines that had appeared in her absence were almost smoothed away, and although their lovemaking had exhausted him he looked very contented now.

  And that pleased her. It pleased her enormously that she was responsible for him enjoying the first real sleep he had had for weeks. He had told her that that was why he had started drinking: because he hadn’t been able to get any rest. But one thing had led to another, and the depression he had suffered had simply fed upon itself.

  All the same, she couldn’t help worrying about what she had to tell him. She had tried to do so, before he made love to her, but she hadn’t had much success. Alex had been hungry for her; they had been hungry for one another. That was why they were lying here, instead of safely in his bed.

  Not that Mallory would come back uninvited, Alex had assured her. He would be only too relieved that she was here to save Alex from himself. Besides, he had added, he didn’t care who saw them. He was in love with her, and he was going to marry her, and that was all there was to it.

  But would he still want to marry her, when he found out what she had done? she asked herself for the umpteenth time. It had seemed so simple, coming here, because that was all she thought she had to offer. Now she knew different, and she was afraid of what she might lose.

  Alex stirred, as if the turmoil of her thoughts had transmitted itself to him, and opened one eye. He was slumped on his stomach beside her, still wearing his trousers, but without them being fastened. And she saw, as he rolled on to his side, the coarse hair that curled in the V.

  ‘Hey,’ he said, putting up one hand, and looping it round her neck, ‘did I sleep long?’

  ‘Not too long,’ she told him, turning her lips against his wrist. ‘How do you feel? Are you still tired?’

  ‘Tired, yes. But I feel bloody marvellous!’ he replied, with a lazy grin. ‘Come here, and I’ll show you.’

  But Beth resisted his efforts to pull her down to him, and instead ran a tentative hand down his chest. Beneath the polo shirt, his nipples hardened automatically, and she felt his thickening maleness against her hip.

  ‘Come here,’ he said again, his voice matching the urgent heat of his emotions, but Beth only shook her head.

  ‘We have to talk,’ she said firmly, even though she ached to give in to him. ‘There’s something I’ve got to tell you. The—the real reason why I came.’

  Alex’s eyes narrowed. ‘The real reason?’ he echoed. ‘I thought you came because you wanted to see me.’

  ‘I did.’ She gazed at him uncertainly, and then hastened on before she chickened out. ‘But there’s something else you have to know, before we go any further.’

  Alex pushed himself up against the cushions. ‘Before we go any further?’ he echoed, and his voice was wary now. ‘How the hell much further can we go, Beth? Forgive me, but didn’t we just make love here? What else can we do, except do it all over again?’

  Beth heaved a sigh. ‘Don’t get angry—’

  ‘Tell me what it is, and I’ll try not to,’ he retorted. ‘Come on, Beth, don’t keep me in suspense. If this is something to do with my father—’

  ‘It’s not.’ Beth spoke hurriedly. ‘It’s to do with you and me and no one else. I—oh, what the hell? I’m pregnant! I wanted to break the news gently, but you’re not giving me a chance.’

  Alex looked at first stunned, and then incredulous. ‘Are you serious?’

  ‘Well, I’d hardly joke abou
t something like that, would I?’ she replied crossly.

  He gasped. ‘My God, you mean to say you’re going to have a baby—my baby? Hell, Beth, why would I be angry about that?’

  Beth sniffed. ‘Are you pleased?’

  Alex stared at her, still with that look of wonderment in his eyes. ‘What do you think?’ he muttered, leaning forward and hauling her into his arms. ‘Dammit, Beth, of course I’m pleased.’ He shook his head. ‘Forget pleased—I’m bloody ecstatic!’

  Beth’s face broke into a tremulous smile. ‘You might not be, when I tell you the whole story,’ she mumbled, and he tipped her face up to his with a curious finger.

  ‘Why not?’ he asked. His eyes clouded. ‘Aren’t you pleased about it? Oh, no, this is going to interfere with your work, isn’t it?’ He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. ‘There must be some way we can handle it.’

  ‘No—’

  ‘No?’

  ‘No—I mean, it’s not a problem. Not for me, anyway.’ She paused. ‘Alex—that’s what I wanted to tell you. I wanted a baby. I wanted your baby—long before I knew how much I wanted you.’

  Alex blinked. ‘You wanted my baby—’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Let me get this straight; you were going to have this baby, whether I knew about it or not?’

  ‘Yes.’

  He shook his head. ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘It’s a long story,’ she said unhappily. ‘That night—the night we first met—at your nephew’s party—’

  Alex gave an exclamation. ‘Was that why—?’

  Beth sighed. ‘Alex, it’s not easy for me—’

  ‘No, but was it?’ And, seeing the answer he sought in her face, he caught his breath. ‘My God! I’ve racked my brains trying to come up with a logical explanation why you would do a thing like that. I never could believe that all you were looking for was some kind of kinky sexual experience!’

  ‘I wasn’t.’ Beth’s face was hot. ‘I had this crazy idea about having a baby, and—and when I saw you—’