Holding On To Hope_ She was brokenhearted and chasing dreams. He was lovestruck, chasing her.

by Mystique Roberts

  ***

  “There’s a price to pay for

  embracing my fame,

  I made a deal with the devil

  And he’s calling my name”

  As the music ends, the crowd erupts into cheers and applause.

  “Thank you! Have a great night!” I yell, slamming the microphone into the stand.

  “Fuck, that crowd was crazy. I swear I saw two girls get dropped. I mean crowd surfing can be fun, but that shit looked like it hurt,” Cole laughs.

  “Some people shouldn’t day drink.” Ryker says.

  “You’ve got that right.” I agree as I wipe the sweat from my face. I see Hope grabbing the box of shirts for the stand and I run up to her, swatting her butt.

  “Watch it buddy. I’ll call security.” She sticks her tongue out and goes to set up the stand.

  I see Ariel talking to Mike and decide to use the time to talk to her.

  “Hey Ariel, do you have a minute?”

  “Sure, Chase.” She says and turns to Mike, “Talk later?”

  He nods and she walks to the edge of the stage, sits down and gestures for me to do the same, “What’s going on?”

  I look out towards the festival, where the group of fans we’re just standing and think about how I’m going to say this. I glance to the booth where Hope is talking to the line of fans already waiting for us.

  “Well, first just promise you aren’t going to kill me okay?” I laugh, but part of me sort of means it. She may be pissed.

  She looks at me curiously, but smiles. “I promise, well unless I have good reason. What’s up punk?”

  I’m watching Hope with the fans and she turns her gaze to follow mine.

  “Oohh...that’s what this is about.” She says teasing me.

  I jerk my head to look at her, “You knew?”

  She laughs loudly, “Chase...really? You thought you we’re hiding it? I mean maybe to the people who don’t know you, but me and most of the crew know. I was just waiting for one of you to say something. To be honest I’m kind of bummed Hope hasn’t said anything yet.”

  “Don’t be mad, she’s just worried you and everyone else will think that’s the only reason she took the job-wait you all know? How?” I say, genuinely curious. I know there was a few times I’ve been affectionate, but only light hugs or my hand brushing hers.

  “Well, let’s see…” She places her hand to her mouth, tapping her finger like she’s thinking. “Oh, I’ve seen you go to her bus a few times. Kyle told me you borrowed his bike and took her for a ride one day, which wasn’t the greatest idea I might add, but I won’t go there. Oh and Ryker said you act funny any time she’s mentioned. Should I go on?”

  “Fuck, I guess I didn’t try that hard did I? Well, I just wanted to tell you. I’m worried that I’ll have a hard time staying focused and I just need some support, because you know how important all of this is to me, but she is...well she’s different.” I shrug, not knowing how to explain it.

  “I’m happy for you Chase. You deserve someone like her. She’s driven, she seems to love this lifestyle and well...I think she will keep you grounded. I think this is a good thing.”

  “Great, yeah you’re right. I just wanted to tell you, better get over there,” I hop up and head towards the meet and greet.

  “Let’s go.” She follows me and the guys are waiting a few feet away.

  “Everything cool?” Aiden asks as we walk.

  “Yep! Chase just filled me in on his ‘secret’,” Ariel laughs and makes air quotes.

  “Oh, you mean that he has a thing for Hope?” Aiden says and I glare at him.

  “We’ve known for weeks, man.” Ryker throws his shoulder around me, “Since the week she started. I’m just trying to understand what she sees in you. You’re a lucky son of a bitch.”

  I elbow him in the gut and he laughs as we step inside the tent.

  “What’s funny?” Hope asks.

  Ariel and the guys just laugh louder, “Nothing.” I say, “They’re all just losers. Everyone ready?”

  “All set! Just waiting for you.” She smiles brightly and I wink, then greet the fans.

  CHAPTER 11

  Hope:

  The past few days have been insane. It’s like overnight the world found out about Chase and I, and now every person I know is interrogating me. Not to mention the questions the tabloids are publishing.

  “Who is Hope Richards and how did she steal the heart of Rising Aggression’s front man, Chase Franklin?”

  “Mixing business with pleasure?”

  “How will fans react to the news of Chase and his relationship with one of his managers?”

  I’ve been freaking out. I don’t want to have a negative effect on Chase’s career at all. He is reassuring me that everything will die down and it will all be okay, but I still feel a bit uneasy. Because of that I have been avoiding any alone time with Ariel. As soon as the work day is over, I head to my bus. She welcomed me with open arms and she has become a great friend, I don’t want to disappoint her. I’m getting I’m getting ready in my bus and just throwing on some cut offs when there’s a knock at the door.

  “One second!” I yell as I hobble to the door, trying to zip my pants and avoid tripping like the klutz that I am in the process. When I open the door and see Ariel, my stomach drops. She gives me a small smile.

  “Hey Ariel,” I say feigning enthusiasm and smile, gesturing her to come in. “Everything okay?”

  She nods and my heart begins to race. Fuuuuckkk. I’m going to be fired. Damn it…maybe there was a clause in my contract. I didn’t even think of the legal stipulations when I followed my damn stupid heart. I’ve been too worried about what people think instead. I sit down and anxiously wait for her to say something.

  “Hope, we’re friends right?” She asks curiously with little emotion showing on her face, causing my heart to race. “I know I consider you a friend, but maybe you don’t think the same? I just feel like you’ve been avoiding me and I… I know why.”

  I stand up abruptly. “I haven’t been avoiding you! I – just – maybe I have. I just.”

  I stumble over my words, struggling to get out what I’m trying to say. I’m pacing and tears begin to pool in my eyes, causing me to start nervously rambling.

  “I love this job. You know this is my dream. I just didn’t want to fuck it up. I never intended for this to happen. My heart was fucking broken when I started this job. All I want is this life and everything it holds. I promise I’ll still work my ass off. I don’t expect favoritism at all. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Please don’t fire me, I don’t know what I’d do without this job, without you, without this life!”

  “Hope!” Ariel yells and I meet her shocked expression in silence, realizing I was rambling like a mad woman, I am embarrassed. “Calm down.” She continues, “Are you nuts!? I couldn’t do this without you. I’m happy for you and happy for Chase. He deserves someone grounded, fun and smart. I told him that too. My only concern is if things end…” She gets quiet for a second and I sit next to her. She nudges shoulder and continues. “If they do end, where you’d be business wise, so all I ask is…you tell me and talk to me if you ever think you need out, because we could work something out for you to be off the road for a bit. I don’t want to lose you, because you’re a great worker and friend. I’m a bit pissed you didn’t tell me, because you’re my friend, but I get where you’re coming from. Just please be honest with me is all I ask. Also, be prepared for tabloids and for your name to now be everywhere. You’ve been warned.”

  She laughs and shakes her head. I smile and hug her. “Thank you. Thank you. I’m sorry, like I said, it was just all just so unexpected and I didn’t want to mess anything up. Thank you for being such a great friend. I am so glad I met you. I promise to talk to you if I ever need. You really are more than just a coworker Ariel, you are a friend and I really appreciate everything.” We laugh and head to the stage area. Curiosity gets the best of me and I have to ask. “
Ariel, how did you know about us anyway? I mean did you know before the press?” She laughs and nods. “Chase told me a few days ago. I don’t want you to think he just rambled and told everyone, but we are pretty close. He also wanted to reassure me he wasn’t going to make me lose my best worker. He mentioned you probably were scared to tell me, so he did himself. Don’t be mad at him.”

  How can I be? He had every right to tell her, I’m just relieved everyone is okay with it. A feeling I have been longing to have for months overcomes me. Calmness and I just know that everything is as it should be. Finally…I’m where I’m supposed to be.

  ***

  I am on a high after the show. Damn the crowd was just full of energy and it radiated through me like never before. I rush Chase as he exits the stage and wrap my arms around him. We haven’t talked yet since Ariel came to my bus this morning, and I’m trying to keep calm, but all the media is making me nervous.

  “That was the best one yet. I swear I could feel the excitement course through my veins. You all did great!” He laughs, kisses my cheek and I wave him off to get ready for the meets. I grab my things and start to head that way myself. My pocket was vibrating so much during the show that I shut my phone off. I figured it was just social media alerts, but when I turn my phone on I realize the notifications are from my family and friends.

  “Hope Lynn Richards! How dare you not tell me about your relationship before I had to read about it online!? You need to call me. Is this boy the reason you took this job? Don’t you dare choose a guy over your future! You’re too smart for that. Call me! Love, Mom.”

  “Hoooppppee! My sister is officially a bad ass! Dating a rock star!? That’s it, I’m definitely moving with you. Call me! Love you!”

  I cringe at my mother’s response, making a mental note to text her later. Definitely not calling her. I text Taylor and Anna who said she’s so happy I’m finally living for me. Also to tell Chase she will end him if he hurts me. I laugh at that. I’m happy they know, but I’m nervous people will think I get favoritism or have an agenda. Will fans hate me? Will this hurt Chase’s career? All of a sudden I have a million questions again. I know this feels right, but I need to make sure there won’t be major consequences for Chase. I have to talk to him.

  Chase:

  A few days ago I told Ariel about Hope and I because I didn’t want her to think we were hiding it. We’ve been keeping it as quiet as possible for media sake, but Ariel is my friend and Tour Manager, she had a right to know. I know she said she hadn’t told her, but I saw her come out of Hope’s bus this morning and ever since I’ve been on edge. It doesn’t help that the media has found out either, because now everyone knows.

  I’m waiting for Hope to seek me out. I’m prepared for her to be angry, but I’m scared I broke her trust already, when we just started. I only did what I felt was right. The only comforting thought I’m holding onto is that she ran ran up to me after the show, wrapping her arms around me. Her publicly displaying even the slightest bit of affection calmed me some. After we went to fan greets, I showered and I’m waiting for Hope to text me after she has everything cleaned up.

  “Why are you over there sulking Chase? We just had one of our best shows yet.” I hear Ryker at the front of the bus and I look to see him and Cole standing there with concession food.

  I shake my head, “I think I fucked up. Damn, I’m not good at women and dating. Hope and I have only been a thing for a couple weeks and I just don’t want to hurt her, but I’m also focused on making our career successful.”

  I rub my head in frustration.

  “It didn’t seem like anything was up after the show. She ran right up to you.” Ryker says encouragingly.

  “Yeah man, stop being a girl.” Cole says chuckling.

  I grimace, “I’m not fucking be a girl, but this is a bit complicated. If things go wrong we could lose an assistant and there could be bad publicity. I also just don’t want to hurt her. She’s been through enough and she’s a good person. Fuck.”

  I’m taking my frustration out on them and I know it, but I can’t help it. I knew this would be a little complicated, but I didn’t think it would so soon. I have to find her and talk about this.

  “Whoa, sorry. I was just giving you hell, don’t jump my ass.” Cole, apologizes and I flip him off.

  “Okay, I’m going to see her.” I stand and head to the door. “Oh, the tour event bowling for a cause thing is tonight. We’re all going, I think we need some low-key fun. Plus it’s for a good cause, it’ll be good publicity and a way to connect with the other bands more. Talk to you in about an hour. Be ready, I’ll text Ariel.” I grab my phone and head to Hope’s bus with new determination to make this work.

  I knock and my heart races with anticipation. I hear movement and when the door opens I’m greeted with a warm smile.

  “Hey Chase.” Hope steps back gesturing me inside.

  “Sorry for just showing up, but I needed to talk to you.” My heart isn’t slowing down and her face creasing in concern when she sits down isn’t doing a thing to help the situation.

  “O...kay. Is something wrong?”

  I tilt my head in confusion. “Well, I was going to ask you the same question. I saw Ariel leave your bus this morning and I hadn’t had a chance to tell you that I told her about us. I thought you might be angry with me.”

  She smiles and puts her face in her hands, easing my worries more.

  “Well...I was taken by surprise when she just showed up at my door. I had been avoiding any time with her outside of working, because I was nervous about what she’d say and I wasn’t sure how to tell her or if I should. I kind of freaked a bit and word vomited.” She stops and laughs. “Much like I’m doing now. You had every right to tell her. I was just worried she and everyone else would think I didn’t take this job seriously or that being with you was my intention all along. I just didn’t want to lose my job.”

  She exhales and her worried, blue eyes search my face for reassurance. I sit down next to her, turning her face to me.

  “I’m sorry for not telling you I was going to tell her, but I just felt she should know. It was only a matter of time before the media had pictures and said something, so I wanted her to know. As far as anything else, I promise you that no one around here thinks that. Ariel said she knew a little about you before hiring you. Also that you talked before she offered you the full time position. She knows this is what you want in life and that your career is first. As far as the public, let them say what they think, trust me they will anyway. We can make a statement confirming things for just let them keep seeing us together. I have no plans on keeping my distance from you. Hope, I want this to work. I need to focus on making my career advance, yes, but we can make this work, okay? One step at a time. It’ll be okay, people will see we’re professional when it comes to business. It will work out.”

  I reach up and brush her cheek. “Trust me, please. Just keep doing what you’re doing work wise. You’re really good at this. The fans like you, I see it and so does everyone else. You fit here.”

  She smiles and lays her head on my shoulders. “Okay, just promise me you’ll help me adjust and be honest about anything that is said okay? I just want us to talk to each other. I love this job, I don’t want something stupid to mess it up. To mess us up. I also don’t want us to overreact over stupid things said, so we just need to stick together. Maybe we should say something small.”

  I nod and smile. “Deal. We will figure it out later tonight, but for now you need to grab your things and if you’re ready come with me. All of us are going to the tour bowling for a cause event. I just want a fun night for all of us. Plus, like I told everyone else, it’s for a good cause. I think we should use this to connect with the other bands too. So if you need to change go and I’ll wait. Ariel and the rest of the guys are meeting us in thirty minutes at my bus.”

  She grins wide and kisses me hard. I fight the urge to pull her to bed as my pants get tighter when my need to
touch her grows. “On second thought, I can think of something to occupy us for the next thirty minutes.”