The Society

by Jodie Andrefski

  I pulled at the drawstring of my hoodie and tapped my sneakers restlessly under my chair. Jeremy glanced over at me and offered a halfhearted smile. A door opened across the hall and a very large, scowling policeman immediately filled it. His rumpled shirt strained against the belly hanging over his waistband, but my eyes were more focused on the gun holstered on his hip. I swallowed, and raised my eyes to meet his squinted ones. He didn’t look especially happy to see us.

  “I hear you have some additional information for me?” His deep voice came out brusque.

  Oh shit. That was the person I had to hope would be understanding and show me mercy after I spilled my involvement in the whole mess? He looked like he ate small children for breakfast. And enjoyed it. I shot Jeremy a quick glance before standing up. “Um…yes, sir.”

  He looked me over for a moment, taking in my beat-up sweatpants, messy hair in its ponytail, and my Trinity Academy sweatshirt. His one eyebrow rose slightly, as if surprised to see that someone who looked as sloppy as I currently did even went to Trinity. Maybe I should have worn my ball gown. I stamped down my annoyance and shuffled my feet. Jeremy rose to stand next to me.

  “Fine. Come on back.” He turned and walked through the door without waiting to see if we followed.

  I looked at Jeremy again. He motioned for me to go first.

  The open door led to a narrow hallway. We passed several closed doors to the left, and then the guy we were following rounded a corner and opened a door on the right-hand side. He flipped a switch and the room filled with a bright, fluorescent light. A brown rectangular table sat smack in the center of the small room, and two metal folding chairs hugged either side of it. The far wall held a large mirror. I’d seen enough movies to know it was probably two-sided.

  The officer stood against the wall, arms crossed.

  I hesitated.

  His raised eyebrows made me think he was waiting for me to do something, so I pulled out a chair and sat down, hoping that was what I was supposed to do. Jeremy sat next to me. I cleared my throat and looked up, waiting for him to ask me questions. He stared at me, and then finally spoke.

  “So, you said that you have information about what happened.” He raised his eyebrows yet again and uncrossed his arms to loop his thumbs behind his wide black belt.

  I shifted in my chair nervously. “Yes, sir, I do.”

  He glanced at Jeremy.

  “Um…I’m just here with her.” Jeremy sounded as nervous as I felt.

  “Statements indicate you were both at the party last night.” His tone made it clear he thought we were a couple of spoiled rich kids who thought we could do anything. His eyes narrowed as he waited for our responses.

  Jeremy swallowed and nodded. “We were. But, uh…I just meant I wasn’t upstairs when it happened.”

  The police officer shifted his steel eyes back to me. “I’m Officer Meyers.” His voice turned formal. “I’m one of the officers assigned to this case. I’ve reviewed the records and they indicate you were both at the party last night, is that correct?”

  I nodded, half afraid to speak. Didn’t we just cover this?

  “In fact, Ms. Evans, you were the one who called Emergency Services reporting you discovered Mr. Shaw.”

  Was that a question? I nodded again, more nervous than ever. Did he think I was the one who really hurt Patrick? He looked Jeremy’s way again.

  “I, uh, came up later. I didn’t see what happened,” he said.

  Officer Meyers stepped forward. I involuntarily leaned back a little in my chair as he approached. He sat down across from us and folded his meaty hands on the scarred surface of the table. He watched me for a few seconds, not saying a word. Then he pulled a recorder from his pocket and motioned to it.

  “Do you mind?”

  I shook my head. Did I have a choice? I glanced around and spotted a small camera mounted in the corner of the room. A tiny yellow light blinked on top of it. I swallowed.

  He pressed a button and leaned back, crossing his fingers behind his head. “I’m speaking with Samantha Evans and Jeremy Ellis regarding the party at their classmate, Peter Rogers’ residence at 2125 Ridge Road in Cloverfield.” He paused. “Have you both come in of your own volition?”

  We both nodded.

  He pointed at the recorder. “You have to actually speak up.”I leaned in a little. “Yes.” I glanced toward the camera again. Myers’ gaze tracked my own, but he said nothing.

  “Yes,” Jeremy said.

  “Tell me what happened,” Meyers said.

  Jeremy’s knee began to bob up and down inches away from my leg. I shot him a pointed look. He stopped.

  “I don’t think Patrick tried to hurt Jessica.” I looked directly at Officer Meyers as I spoke, refusing to be intimidated.

  His dark eyebrow rose. I began to wonder if it was some weird tic, he did it that often. Or maybe it was his way to make me feel off-balanced, let me know he didn’t trust a word I was telling him. If so, it was working.

  “And what makes you say that?” He uncrossed his fingers and leaned forward.

  I hesitated. Did I really want to go through with this? I could still just say it was because I’d been outside the door and hadn’t heard any sounds of a struggle or fighting. I didn’t have to tell him all of it. Another thought burst in—should I be asking for a lawyer? His level gaze didn’t leave mine as he waited for me to answer.

  Jeremy reached under the table and placed his hand on my leg, pressing down a little. I could almost hear his unspoken plea for me to keep quiet.

  Only…I couldn’t. I refused to become any more like my father than I already had. I would tell the truth. I would come clean and face the consequences…whatever they were.

  So I opened my mouth and began to talk. And I told him. Everything.

  Thirty-Three

  You are never as broken as you think you are. Sure, you may have a couple of scars, and a couple of bad memories, but then again all great heroes do.

  —Unknown

  “What do you think’s gonna happen?” I sat cross-legged on my bed, plucking at loose strings on my indigo comforter.

  Jeremy shook his head and sat down next me. I scooted over so he could fit, and we both leaned back against the headboard.

  “I honestly don’t know.” He paused. “I hope they look at the fact that you went to them, and told them all about what you did. And the fact that you’d told Patrick not to do it seems like it should count for something.”

  It seemed hard to believe it’d been a month since the party. I’d freaked out when I’d learned Patrick was in a coma, but thankfully, he’d woken up two days later. He had a pretty nasty cut and needed seventeen stiches. They’d held him in the hospital a few days to make sure nothing more serious was going on since it was a head wound. Thank God, there wasn’t.

  I leaned my head on his shoulder. “At least he isn’t facing charges since he didn’t really do anything. But I feel bad for Becky. It’s my fault.” I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes closed tight to prevent the now way too familiar tears from falling.

  “You can’t take all the blame.” Jeremy shifted, his leg pressed against mine. “She made the decision to go through with making drugged brownies all on her own. She knew what she was doing.”

  “But still, I told her to do it.” I sighed. “And the rest of it, I’m afraid they can use all of that against me too.”

  “The whole picture thing with Zena doesn’t mean squat. Really, like the courts care that Blane’s a horn dog who cheated on Jessica.” He shook his head. “It’s not like they’re gonna press charges for that. And the fire had nothing to do with you. Patrick didn’t even do his task with the whole Dumpster thing, it was a gas leak. But yeah, orchestrating it all…” He paused. “I checked with my Aunt Christine who’s a lawyer out in California. She says there’s a good chance they’ll try to charge you as an accessory and base your sentencing off that.”

  He reached over to hold my hand, his fingers warm against
mine. We didn’t speak for a while. After all, what was there to say, really?

  I’d told the police every single part of the whole shitstorm. About the website I’d created, the fake invitations to rush the Society, the tasks…all of it. It hadn’t been easy. Not the first time, nor the multiple other times I’d had to sit through rounds of questions. I’d had to hand over the notebook with all my plans spelled out as well as my laptop.

  On top of my guilt about what I’d done with the whole fake tapping the initiates and the tasks I’d engineered, I also felt like crap for putting my aunt through all of it with me. She didn’t deserve any of it, and I knew I’d broken her heart, despite her reassurances that we would get through it together. Her health had finally begun to improve, and I’d thrown the whole mess at her. I reached over and grabbed a notebook sitting on my nightstand. Jeremy’s eyebrows rose when he saw what I was holding.

  “Would you read this?” I asked.

  “What is it?”

  “A letter.” I paused, shame filled me once again as I thought about all I’d done. “It’s to Jessica.” I shook my head. “I tried calling, and even went to her house, but no one answered. I think she’s purposely ignoring me, and I can’t say I really blame her.”

  He reached out to take the spiral notebook then looked me straight in the eyes. “I’m proud of you. I know that couldn’t have been easy.”

  It hadn’t been, but it was also something I knew I had to do. I couldn’t just act like what I’d done hadn’t hurt people. I’d learned that lesson from everything that happened with my father.

  He flipped it open, and I leaned over to read the words that I’d so painstakingly written the night before.

  Jessica,

  I know you probably don’t want to hear a word I have to say, and I can’t say I blame you. I was so wrong for everything that I did to hurt you and also know that simple words could never make up for the mistakes I’ve made…for the people I’ve hurt.

  We were friends once, do you remember? I do. I remember the nights we spent at each other’s houses, sharing secrets, and how we always swore to be there for each other.

  I was so hurt after my father’s trial when we lost that. I was hurt about what you did before the trial, and since then. But that doesn’t excuse what I did. And I’m so sorry.

  I hope one day you can forgive me, and even if you never want to speak to me again, please know that I regret each of my actions. I was wrong.

  Since I’m not going to Trinity anymore, I don’t know if our paths will ever cross again. But I want you to know that I don’t regret the friendship we once shared. I could never regret that.

  Although if I’m being honest, I also can’t forget all you’ve done to me through the years, the pain and all the tears I cried at your hands. I wish we’d been able to make up that day I’d come to see you years ago. We’ve both made mistakes.

  Maybe one day you’ll feel the same. I hope so, anyway.

  Sam

  Jeremy closed the notebook, and pulled me in a tight hug. We sat that way, not speaking, for a few minutes.

  I looked across the room and stared at the new computer on my desk, the one I needed now for school since Aunt Lor pulled me out of Trinity. Even though I missed seeing Jeremy in class every day, I was kinda glad I wasn’t there anymore. It wasn’t like it really mattered about getting a fancy diploma from the Academy to look good on college applications anymore. Heck, I doubted any college would even accept me after what I’d done.

  That more than just about anything made me sick inside. Would I ever be able to really start my life over? My aunt and Jeremy tried to assure me things would work out, but I wasn’t so sure. And I couldn’t imagine facing everyone in the halls or class since word had gotten out about everything that’d happened. So now I went to an online charter school instead.

  “When’s your hearing?” Jeremy asked quietly. “Did they tell you yet?”

  He played with my hair absently as we sat together. He’d been coming over just about every day, even if only for short visits. I always appreciated when he stopped by; it helped me not feel so isolated and alone. Being with Jeremy made me feel safe, cared for.

  “Yeah, I found out today.” I cleared my throat. “Two weeks. December second.”

  His eyebrows rose. “That quick? It seems awfully fast. I thought these things usually take forever.”

  I nodded and shrugged. “I think because it isn’t a real trial. Like, with a jury and stuff, I mean. And it isn’t like they really have to prove anything. It’s more them deciding what to do with me since I confessed.” I yanked a loose string from my comforter. “It’s a sentencing, since my guilt’s already been established.”

  His thumb stroked my hand, stilling my nervous movements. “It’ll be okay. I have a good feeling about it.”

  I glanced up and gave a small snort. “Right.”

  “I do.” He tugged my hair and swung his legs off the side of the bed. “Come on, let’s go for a walk.”

  “But Aunt Lor’s making dinner. It’ll be ready any minute.”

  “I’m sure she won’t mind if we’re back soon. It’ll be good to get outside a little.”

  I knew he meant it would be good for me to get outside. I’d been spending most of my time cooped up in the trailer, afraid to go into town or anywhere I might run into anyone from school.

  I wavered.

  “C’mon,” he said. “Just a short one.”

  “Fine.” I sighed and stood up.

  I grabbed my jacket and followed him to the kitchen. Aunt Lor stood at the stove, mixing something in a large pot. The air smelled delicious, and I sniffed appreciatively. She turned and smiled, clearly happy to see me with a coat on since that meant I’d be venturing into the great outdoors.

  “I’m making vegetable soup. I thought it would be nice given the chilly weather we’ve been having.” She nodded toward the oven. “And I have some garlic bread to go with it.”

  I smiled, and crossed the room to wrap her in a gentle hug. “Thanks, Aunt Lor. It smells great.”

  She held me close, and I tried to ignore when her eyes glassed over with unshed tears. My stomach twisted, knowing all the pain and heartache I’d caused her. She’d never once yelled at me. She’d just sat me down and asked me to tell her everything. We’d talked for hours, both of us crying at times. She’d told me she loved me and was sorry for how much I must have been hurting inside.

  I patted her thin shoulder a final time, and pulled back. “Is it okay if Jeremy and I go for a quick walk before we eat?”

  She nodded, and covered the pot with a lid. “You two go on ahead. This can keep until you get back, don’t you worry.” She made shooing motions at us. “Go, have fun.” She included Jeremy in her smile. “Will you be staying for supper with us?”

  “I’d love to, but I have to leave pretty soon. I have a ton of homework.” Jeremy grinned at her. “But thanks anyway. Maybe another night?”

  “You know you’re welcome any time.” She wiped her hands on her apron.

  “We won’t be long,” I said as we headed out the door.

  The evening air bit into me, and I wrapped my heavy pea coat tighter around my body. I inhaled deeply, reveling in the hint of winter approaching.

  “Do you think we’ll get snow soon?”

  Our feet crunched in the fallen leaves alongside the edge of the road. Most of the trees were bare, with just a few still grasping tightly to the last remaining brightly colored leaves above us, like mothers not ready to release their children into the world.

  “The weather this morning said there was a chance of flurries this weekend.” Jeremy’s boot snapped a twig as he stepped farther off the road and pulled me next to him when a car raced past.

  “I hope so. That would make one thing in my life that doesn’t actually blow right now.”

  Jeremy glanced my way with a sad smile, and I immediately felt bad.

  “It’s…I love the snow. That’s all I meant.” I’
d hurt his feelings. I leaned my head back to stare at the sky, pink streaks mixed with deep reds to form a kaleidoscope of color in the waning light.

  Jeremy nodded, gentle understanding filling his face. “I know.”

  We walked a little farther, until he suddenly reached out to stop me, and turned me to face him.

  “I am really proud of you.” His face became serious, his gaze intense.

  I cocked my head. “For what?” I hadn’t done a whole lot to make anyone proud of me.

  “For coming forward, for telling the truth.”

  His bangs fell into his eyes behind his glasses when he shook his head. “I know that was hard to do.”

  I went silent.

  “Especially when you had me telling you not to do it at first.” He dropped his hand from my arm and shoved it in his coat pocket. “That was wrong of me. My only excuse is that I wasn’t thinking straight, and I was freaked that I’d lose you if you told them.” He paused. “I was a coward.”

  “No. No, Jer, you weren’t.” I reached out to touch the sleeve of his dark jacket.

  He shook his head. “Yeah, I was. But you?” His eyes traveled over my face. “I think you’re the bravest person I’ve ever known.”

  Brave? What a laugh. I was afraid of everything.

  “I’m not brave at all.” I looked down. A wayward maple leaf blew across my red high-top sneaker.

  “Yeah, you are. Through all the crap you’ve been through, you’ve held your head up. Sure, you did something kind of…”

  “Stupid.”

  He grinned. “Not so well-thought-out,” he said. “But you didn’t run or hide from it. You did all you could to make it right.”

  “I can’t ever make what I did right.”

  He tipped his head. “You faced it head-on. That’s what I mean. I admire that.”

  A few lone crickets chirped around us as Jeremy stood in front of me, silhouetted by trees against the darkening sky.