by Blair Holden
“I brought you this; it’s your favorite, right?”
“Huh?”
Okay, this isn’t going anywhere fast. I repress the urge to look over my shoulder and glance at Cole’s door. I know I shouldn’t be this worried about his reaction, after all this is just a harmless meeting, but somehow its feels like I’m being disloyal to Cole.
“The pie, Jay, I thought you’d like it.”
He shakes his head, as if comprehending my words for the first time, and takes the box from my hands. He mutters thank you and opens his door all the way to let me in. His room is the exact opposite of Cole’s. It’s neat and tidy, off-white walls with blue accents. A made-up bed with a basic blue bedspread, a study desk piled high with books. Baseball uniforms through the years framed and hung on the walls. A small television mounted on the wall opposite his bed, above the only similarity his room has with his stepbrother’s, the biggest collection of DVDs you’ll find this side of the Atlantic.
“I’m sorry, Tessa, I’m so sorry,” he says in an agonized voice as I take in his room. The moment is surreal; I’ve always wanted to be alone with him here but now that I’m actually standing in the place, I can’t wait to rush to the room opposite this one.
His eyes are glassy as I turn to face him. He’s sitting at the edge of his bed, holding his hands between his knees. Taking a deep breath, I sit beside him and nudge my shoulder with his.
“I’m not mad at you. I understand why you acted like that and I want you to know that I’m not mad at you.”
His shoulders tremble as a frustrated groan escapes him. “I can’t believe I hurt you! All I ever want is for you to be happy and look at what I do? I fucking hit you.”
He looks at me then and the pain in his eyes cuts me deep.
“I am happy, Jay. I’m happy with Cole and I need you to know that.”
Shaking his head, he gives me a bitter smile. “That’s what I deserve, right? I let you slip right through my fingers and out of all the people you could end up with, it’s Cole. He can’t do anything wrong, can he?”
There it is, the bitterness toward his brother. That’s what I need to take away but it’s not going to be easy.
“Cole didn’t ask for anyone to pick him over you. I get why you feel this way but he’s never intended to hurt you. You’re the closest thing he has to a brother; he would never do that to you. As for me, I think it’s always been Cole. Even when he was bullying me, making my life miserable, he made me feel special. I felt like there was someone who cared, someone who was a daily fixture in my life. I could count on him like no one else, even if he was pushing me into mud puddles. I guess my crush on you was misplaced.”
He winces at my choice of words and I rush to correct myself. “I liked you, Jay, I really did, but with Cole the lines were always blurred. Somewhere down the line though I realized that no matter how he acts around me, Cole’s the one I trust. I trust him to never let go of me.”
“That’s what I did wrong, didn’t I? You can’t trust me because of how I treated you after Nicole and I started going out.”
I wave my hand dismissively. “I’m over that. Yes it hurt at the time and I wanted to know why you’d do that but I realize something now. You were the popular jock and she was the prettiest girl in school. It made sense for the two of you to be together. Being with me would’ve been a lot of trouble and I get why you weren’t willing to go through all that at the time.”
He’s quiet. That’s what tells me that I’ve nailed the explanation. It makes me feel better somehow, knowing that I’d been rejected for the sake of reputation and not just because I was me. He takes a deep breath before responding to my conclusion.
“I thought I could like her. I mean she was your best friend, right? I thought she’d be just like you and that that way I’d be around you all the time. When she cut you out of her life like that, I was angry at her and even angrier at myself. I was weak, I cared about my reputation so much that ending the relationship never came to mind. For the first time ever, I was the one who had everything, not Cole. I knew she bullied you but I . . .”
“It’s okay, I’m over it, Jay,” I try to assure him but he shrugs it off.
“You should hate me. I have no right to be jealous of Cole after how I’ve treated you but damn it I am! It’s not even about him, it’s me and how big of an asshole I am. You deserve better but I can’t seem to let you go. I want you to look at me like you used to, Tessa. Please just give me a shot.”
I’m stunned into silence. Did he just say that to me? I came here to mend fences between Cole and him, not to hear a love declaration. This can only get worse.
“I . . . I can’t. I’m sorry,” I say, feeling dazed.
“Will you just think about it? We can finally happen, Tessie, we’ll be amazing together, I know it.”
“It’s Tessa.”
“What?”
“Call me Tessa. Only Cole gets to call me Tessie.”
There’s an uncomfortable silence between us again. It gives me time to regroup and collect myself. Getting up, I turn to him. “Cole and I are together and if we’re ever not together then it’ll be because he’s the one who leaves me. I’m never going to let go of him, Jay. I hope you understand that and respect my decision.”
There’s a grim expression on his face but he nods his head. I don’t know what I’ve accomplished here but I’ve said what I came here to say and there’s nothing more I can do. If even after all this, he’s going to keep acting like an a-hole then I’ll leave him in Cole’s capable hands.
I rush out of his room; the space had started suffocating me. Downstairs I come to a standstill. Cole’s in the kitchen, shirtless, only in his boxers and drinking OJ straight out of the box. He’s smiling at me as I gawk at him and I swear he must have planned this. Slowly he gulps down the juice so that I’m mesmerized by his throat muscles, and don’t even get me started on the chest. “Girl Hospitalized for Checking out Cole Stone’s Chest.” That would make one good headline.
“How’s my Doctor Phil doing today?” he asks once he’s done torturing me. We stand on opposite sides of the kitchen island and I cannot get my brain to function. I’m in a lust-infused fog and I’m totally about to give Cole enough ammunition to tease me till I’m eighty.
“Not balding and overweight?” I offer and he laughs, eyes crinkling, dimples coming out in full show.
“So I guess your heart-to-heart with Jay went well?” He screws the cap on the juice and places it back in the fridge without marking the container. If it were anyone but him I’d be disgusted but I’m too focused, burning a hole into his back. Those muscles ripple!
“Not exactly, but we’ve reached a peaceful agreement.”
“I guess that’s good. If I hit him again, my dad’s going to have me spend a night in prison with the local motorcycle gang.” He shudders at the thought and I laugh. Just like that we fall back into our easygoing banter.
“So you’re not mad?” I ask him hesitantly. He doesn’t look angry but then again even if he was, he’d never take it out on me.
“I could never be mad at you, Tessie. I know why you wanted to talk to him, I know you want to fix my relationship with him but that’s my problem, okay? I appreciate what you’re trying to do but don’t worry about it, okay?”
I nod. He grabs my hand and interlinks our fingers. We stare at each other, smiling like idiots for a while until I become more and more aware of his half nakedness. I flush immediately and he notices. Chuckling, he rounds the island and pulls me closer. He leans in and whispers in my ear, “Spend the day with me?” I nod in response.
“Great, let me put on some clothes and we’ll go out.”
I pout and he laughs at my disappointed expression over the thought of him covering up. Placing a deep, hard kiss on my mouth that renders me speechless, he walks away, but not before adding, “Soon baby, soon.”
Suffice it to say I’m redder than Rudolph’s nose.
Chapter Twenty-Two
: I Asked You to Make Soup Not Babies
I should have done this sooner. Really, I should have because now that I’ve started it I just can’t stop. Call me a floozy if you will but if you’re going out with someone as hot as Cole Stone you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands to yourself either.
“We have to go to class soon,” I say breathlessly, trying to put some distance between us.
“Don’t worry, we won’t be late.” Cole’s lips continue their merciless assault on my neck and I arch my back wanting nothing more than to meld my body to his. What on earth have I been doing with my life before? I’ve had him so close to me for months and I could’ve been riding this high forever but my thick-headedness made me blind to the obvious mind-numbing attraction there is between us. Oh well, better late than never.
It’s not the ideal situation, to have barricaded the supply closet, but we didn’t have another option. The last time we kissed was when Cole picked me up for school and since then we haven’t had a moment alone. All day long he’s been teasing me, giving me looks that made me want to maul him with my lips. At lunch, he kept a hand on my thigh the entire time and I hadn’t been able to swallow a single bite. That’s when we’d both made a lame excuse of having to borrow some books from the library and had made a mad dash to find some solitude.
No one bought the excuse, obviously. Alex had even oh so charmingly added his words of wisdom, “Don’t forget to wrap it up, Stone!” That’s what he had yelled for everyone to hear but by that time Cole had almost been deaf to the outside world. Typical boy, only had one thing on his mind.
“Cole . . .” I whine but it comes out as an embarrassing moan. His eyes light up like a Christmas tree as he takes in the obvious effect he has on me. He kisses me again, deep and long, until we hear the first bell ring. I untwine my arms from around his neck but he doesn’t let go of me. We just stare at each other goofily before another shrill ringing sound destroys the moment.
Cole groans and tugs me by the hand. “Come on, Tessie, after school I’m finding a better spot to make out.”
I giggle at his obvious frustration but it’s thrilling that he’s as obsessed with the idea of kissing and, well, touching in general as I am. The last thing I want is to become some clingy girlfriend who wants to spend all her time holed up in the bedroom. As appealing as that sounds, I think Cole would get cabin fever after a while.
The rest of the day passes similarly. We give each other secret smiles, well I smile at Cole but he winks at me, insinuating something and as usual I blush. I get it now, the hype about being in a relationship. According to Megan, who is now our resident relationship expert, I’m in the honeymoon phase and it’s going to last a while so that’s awesome. The only damper on the day was seeing Jay and Nicole. Funny how I’d always thought that I’d be so happy when they weren’t together anymore. I guess I was suffering for all my ill wishes. Yes, when they’d been a couple I was miserable but now I just wanted to disappear. The looks they’d shoot me, the guilt they wanted me to feel, proved that the two really did belong together. But I’m not letting them get to me, not much, that is. I have Cole; I have my friends, so it’s not particularly bad. Though the thing is, I get why Nicole hates me. Unintentional as it was, my burst of honesty has left her on the outside looking in. She doesn’t have any friends, even her minions have abandoned her in search of a new Queen Bee. Nicole’s still on the dance team but from what I’ve heard, they’ve basically made her a pariah. I guess you really can’t afford to be dumped by Jay Stone. Jay is just a puzzle and I have no idea how to get all the pieces to fit together. Yes I snubbed his advances, but was he really expecting me to come running to him? Give me some credit here. He’s being an utter tool with how he’s acting toward Cole and me. If I were him, I wouldn’t be testing my stepbrother’s patience—a little caution would be preferable since he still has the bruises to show for his last confrontation.
***
On Saturday, I put aside the ever-present drama in my life and trade it for nerve-wracking, butterfly-inducing excitement. Cole is picking me up in an hour and we’re going on a date! It’s the first time we’re going out since our relationship’s become more serious. He’d been grounded for a couple of weeks following the incident with Jay and for sneaking out with me the next morning. Sheriff Stone was all for sending him back to military school but Cassandra calmed down. Of course it was after everything went down that Jay fessed up that he’d started the whole thing. In hindsight, I’m trying to remember why I liked him so much in the first place.
I wear a purple wrap dress made from jersey material and pair the outfit with my high-heel ankle boots, which I know for a fact that Cole loves since he doesn’t even try to take his eyes away from my legs when I’m in them. I like how honest he is about his gawking; it’s endearing, really. I’m working on my makeup when the doorbell rings. Since the mascara wand is still in my hand and I don’t want to blind myself, I take some time to finish with my lashes. Rushing downstairs, cautiously enough so that I don’t fall to my death, I halt when I see that it’s Travis who has met Cole at the door. I gulp, watching the two have a stare-down. Their relationship is still a mystery to me. I understand that my big brother is a bit wary of Cole because of his past but I wish Travis could see how different things are now. If that happened things wouldn’t be so strained right now.
“Hey guys,” I break the building tension in the room and get their attention. The change in expression is almost comical. The hardness in Travis’s eyes melts away and is replaced by concern and the defensiveness and hardened look on Cole’s face disappears almost as quickly. His eyes light up and a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. My heart skips a beat, knowing that somehow I’m responsible for making him look like that.
“You were going somewhere, Tess?” Travis has upped the level of protectiveness since our mom left. He’d always taken care of me but now he’s taking it to an entirely new level.
I make my way to Cole and he’s brave enough to take my hand and whisper, “You look beautiful, shortcake,” in my ear. Travis’s eyes zero in on our entwined hands and he frowns.
“Yes, we’re going out for a couple of hours. I’ll be back in time for my curfew.”
“But you can’t go,” Travis says smoothly, not missing a beat.
Before I can process his words or begin to formulate a reply, I feel Cole’s fingers tighten around mine to the point of being painful. He responds before I ever get a chance to.
“Why not?” he bites out, jaw flexing, and all Travis does is smirk at him. He is so not helping the situation, knowing Cole’s history, the last thing my brother needs to do is instigate him.
“Because I’m sick and I need her to take care of me.”
Narrowing my eyes at him, I study him closely. “You look fine to me, Trav.”
“Aah-choo.” He gives the fakest sneeze in the history of fake sneezes and checks his forehead. At this point I’m seething. I know he isn’t going to let me go if he’s this desperate; what I want to know is why he’s doing this in the first place.
“You expect her to buy that shit?” Cole growls and I feel the need to step in between the two men. I position myself in front of a very amused-looking Travis and cock an eyebrow at him while placing a hand on my hip.
“You’re not sick so why are you doing this?”
“I am sick, you just can’t see it. Don’t tell me you’re going to abandon me in my time of need, little sis.” He pouts, giving me the face that no one has ever managed to say no to. This is how he gets girls to fall all over themselves for him. Granted, I’m his sister and I know all the tricks of his trade but I can’t help myself either.
I sigh heavily, pinching my forehead. “And what is it that you need me to do? You seem fine. How am I going to take care of you when I don’t know what’s wrong with you?”
This brightens him up immediately and I hear Cole mutter something under his breath. I bet the other girls he’s dated don’t have families half as
dysfunctional as mine. I bet they don’t fall for their brother’s blatant lies and don’t have moms who’d rather sunbathe in Miami than actually fix their marriage.
“You can start by making me some soup. I’m famished, couldn’t keep anything down yesterday.”
I look between the hopeful expression on his face and the disgruntled one on Cole’s face. It’s like asking me to pick between a KitKat and strawberry ice cream—impossible. How do I handle this? If I stand Cole up, the chances of him dumping me are sky-high. If I leave Travis, when he obviously doesn’t want me to, then I’ll feel guilty all day.
“Okay. Okay, I’ll stay and I’ll make the dang soup but I have one condition.”
Travis grins his infamous grin and crushes me in a bear hug, choking me to death. When he pulls away I can see he’s smug about his victory, but his plans are going down the drain.
“Whatever you want.”
See? Big mistake right there.
“Well I guess that means I’ll see you later,” Cole grumbles behind me and I whirl around grabbing his hand. Without looking at Travis I say something that’s not going to make him very happy.
“Cole gets to stay here and you’re going to be nice to him. You leave us alone and do the online coursework that I know you have. If you try to get into a fight with him then I’m leaving and you can kiss your soup good-bye.”
My words manage to hit the Cole Stone smile jackpot. He doesn’t give me his usual half grin but the full-fledged version of what you would call a panty-melting smile. I repress the urge to fan myself because I really don’t want my brother to know that I’m feeling incredibly turned on right now.
There’s silence but after a while Travis gives a noncommittal response which sounds a lot like a “whatever” and leaves us alone, stomping up the stairs.
“So I guess we’ve got some soup to make.” I look at him apologetically, feeling horrible for ruining his expectations of our “date.” Whatever he’d wanted, it must not have included playing house with me. Why he still insists on being with me, I have no idea.
