Hell And Back

by Natasha Madison

I lie awake again, this time because of the overwhelming peace and happiness I feel. The feel of his body next to mine, his hand in mine, his heart beating under my thumb, this is the feeling when your heart is filled to overflowing with happiness. That delirious happiness that sends people running up and down the street with their arms flailing all around them. It’s a good feeling.

  I feel him kiss my shoulder, his head coming almost on my pillow. He hums softly then slowly I hear the telltale signs he has fallen asleep once again.

  And in the darkness of this room, which was so empty when I first got here, but is now filled with pictures, filled with life and filled with love, I finally, finally, let myself go and follow him into sleep.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Jackson

  It’s the second day since we finally cleared the air between us. It’s also the second day I woke up with a knee to the balls courtesy of Lilah.

  It seems she gets super excited when she sees us in bed together in the morning. So excited she jumps on the bed knees first right into the jewels.

  I didn’t realize waking up with Bella would come with an ache in my balls that didn’t have to do with the woman lying next to me.

  But now I stand in the kitchen, leaning against the counter drinking my morning coffee, looking at the little girl who owns the other part of my heart—Lilah.

  She sits eating her waffles with extra syrup because ‘Momma says it okay,’ which I know is a lie.

  I hear the shower turn off the same time I hear a key in the front door.

  Brenda makes her way inside. “Good morning, my little heart,” she says, heading straight to Lilah and dropping a kiss on her head. “Jackson.” She nods at me while reaching to get a cup for coffee.

  We don’t say much and just enjoy the quiet. Bella comes downstairs, her hair still wet from the shower. “Good morning, Brenda.” Walking toward the coffee pot, her cup is already sitting on the counter.

  She stops in front of me, her eyes looking up.

  Bending down, I place a kiss on her lips. “Good morning, angel.”

  She quickly kisses me, moving on to join Lilah and Brenda at the table.

  I take my phone out and check my messages. I’m going back into work today after taking the last couple of weeks off. It’s a good thing I had lots of vacation days saved up.

  I get a message from Mick saying he’ll be in by one. I send him back a quick text, telling him I’ll already be in. Looking at my watch, I see it’s almost nine.

  “Okay, beautiful ladies, it’s time to get back to the hustle and bustle,” I tell them while I put my mug in the sink.

  “Girl party!” Brenda yells and throws her hands up in the air. Of course Lilah mimics her, but with the addition of syrup dripping all over her from the fork still clutched in her hand.

  I laugh at them while Bella groans into her cup. “Whatever you do, you lock the door, yeah?” I look at all three of them, waiting for one of them to answer me.

  “Yes, sir,” Bella says.

  “Aye aye, captain.” Brenda salutes me, leaning forward to snatch a piece of waffle before it falls on the floor.

  I lean down to kiss Bella’s cheek, and then over to the other side to kiss Lilah’s head.

  Brenda puts her elbows on the table, cradling her chin in her hands as she looks up at me with puckered lips and says, “Put it there, hot stuff.”

  Bella bursts out laughing.

  “You kiss Ms. Brenda, Ackson?” Lilah asks while she tries to lick the syrup dripping down her chin.

  I walk over, placing a big lip smacking kiss on Brenda’s cheek. “Be good, you guys,” I say as I walk out of the house.

  There is a new security guy sitting in his car watching the area. I walk up to him as he’s stepping out of his car.

  “Morning. Anything abnormal?” I ask him, almost holding my breath. Since Adam left the hospital, it’s been smooth sailing, but I’m not letting my guard down this time.

  I didn’t know what I was dealing with before. Now that I do, I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him get close to them again.

  “Nothing. I walked the perimeter and nothing seems to be disturbed. The guy will be coming by today to put in the outdoor motion detectors.”

  “Good. Call me if anything happens.” I turn to make my way to my truck. Driving all the way to work feels good. Getting back will be good also.

  Once I get back behind my desk, I grab Lori’s file and see if there are any more notes that have been entered while I was away.

  One more phone call, nothing traced back. I take out my phone and shoot a quick text to Mick.

  What happened with Marissa?

  His reply comes back fast.

  Nothing happened with her. Why? Did she say something did?

  His response makes me frown as I try to decipher his words.

  Where are you?

  This is obviously a conversation better had face to face.

  On my way!

  I throw my phone down, but then I see a message from Bella that came in while I was putting it down.

  Missing you ;)

  I smile at seeing her name. Two words from her and my whole day just got a little bit brighter.

  Holding her all night. Waking up with her in my arms. Just being in her presence, it’s everything.

  Miss you more. Hope you’re resting.

  I’m still smiling when I hear whistling coming down the hall.

  “Looks like you got that situation taken care of!” Mick says while he slides into his chair across from me. Our desks are connected in a small corner of the big office.

  “So what’s the story?” I ask him, not even bothering to take the bait on his greeting.

  “No story, nothing.” He leans back in his chair, folding his hands on his chest, but his eyes tell a different story.

  “Where is she now?” I ask him, knowing he knows who I’m talking about.

  “Got a job waitressing at the diner across the street. Phyllis owed me a favor. I cashed in.”

  “You cashed in a favor for someone you don’t even like?”

  “It was your fault she got fired, so technically I cashed in a favor so your ass wouldn’t feel guilty.” He points at me. “You’re welcome.”

  I turn the subject around.

  “Lori called again?”

  “She did, same MO as before. Crying, asking for help, begging to come back. Lasted maybe a minute. Then nothing.” He sits back up. “I don’t like this shit. I think there is more than meets the eye here. Something else is going on. I just can’t pinpoint it,” he says, and I have to say I agree with him. This isn’t just another case of a teen running away to be with friends. There’s more to it. We just can’t see it.

  “Where was she when she got the call this time?” I ask him, trying to see if maybe there is some other similarity to the last call, hoping to find a dot to connect.

  “My house, having dinner.”

  My eyebrow shoots up. “Your house having dinner? Do I have to say thank you for that one also?”

  “Don’t make it out to be more than it is. She came by to thank me for getting her the job and putting in a good word with Phyllis.” He starts pulling papers out of a pile, pretending to be looking for something, but I know he’s just doing it to avoid making eye contact with me so I don’t see what he is hiding.

  “Okay, so she came over to thank you. Did you fuck her?”

  His head snaps up, an angry glare aimed at me.

  “Watch it! I didn’t fuck her. I ordered food, we sat down, she got the call. She obviously freaked out, made a hole in my rug trying to get Lori to talk to her. The call ended, she calmed down, and then she left.”

  “Just like that, she left? I saw her the last time Lori called. She couldn’t stop shaking. How long did it take her this time?” I know there is more to this story. I also know he’s evading my questions, and I want to know why.

  “Sandie showed up. Ten minutes after the call.” He finally lets out t
he breath he has been holding. Shaking his head, he continues, “Raincoat, naked. Marissa saw and bolted, okay? There, now you got the story. She hasn’t talked to me since.”

  “You know we need to go see her, right? You know we need to follow up?” I don’t need to tell him, but I do it anyway.

  “I know,” he whispers then looks up. “I didn’t touch her. We just ate dinner. That’s it.”

  “You don’t have to convince me of anything. I don’t think you would cross the line.”

  He nods his head. “Another girl went missing two nights ago.” He thrusts the paper at me.

  “What’s this one?” I ask him while studying the picture of the blond teenager in front of me.

  “Name is Jessica, seventeen. Divorced parents. One week with the mother, one week with the father. Started hanging with a new guy on the scene. No one knows him. Just his name. Robbie. Met in secret every time. Not even her best friend knows him or what he looks like. Mother found a bag of weed, punished her for the week. She left to go to the father’s, but she never showed up there. He didn’t notice until she didn’t answer her mother two days later. Mother called the father. He said she texted him saying she was staying at her mom’s for a couple extra days. Phone goes straight to voicemail, and it appears the SIM card has been taken out since she had the ‘find my phone’ app open and now no one can trace her.”

  “What about school? Any leads there? Did she start hanging with a different crowd?” I ask, looking over at all her details. Five foot seven, one hundred seven pounds.

  “Nada, best friend said she met this new guy at the mall when she went shopping. Got smitten, started texting like crazy. From that moment on, all her time was spent with him. All Jessica told her was that he was older, drove a car and ‘was hot as fuck,’ which, by the way, was a direct quote in case you’re wondering.”

  “Any connection with Lori?” I ask.

  “Just the fact they both met a mystery guy no one else has met.”

  I spend the rest of the day going through the database, running different parameters, searching different names to see if maybe someone else is also working on the case. I call up the gang unit to see if maybe this is gang related. I come up empty.

  After sitting and staring at the computer for more than seven hours, I look over at Mick. “Maybe we’re looking at this the wrong way.”

  He looks up at me. “What do you mean?”

  “Maybe they didn’t run away at all. What if they were taken?”

  He shrugs. “At this point it could be anything. We have nothing, not even a fucking description of what the guy—or guys—looks like. It’s like we’re chasing a fucking ghost.”

  I nod my head, thinking the exact thing. “What about the cameras from the mall? I know it’s a long shot, but maybe we can catch a glimpse of him so we have a visual of who we’re looking for.”

  “Good idea. I’ll contact the security office in the morning. I know the exact date they met because she sent a text to her best friend going apeshit over him.”

  “Sounds like a plan. Any leads on Adam?” I ask, knowing I’m not supposed to, but I do anyway.

  He looks around, making sure no one is in earshot before he speaks quietly. “Nothing. He’s gone. I doubt he’s going to come back.”

  “I still want to know where he’s living.”

  “I know.”

  I close down my computer as I pick up my phone, noticing a couple of messages came in while I was in my own world.

  The first one is from Brenda. It’s a picture of Bella and Lilah sitting outside, the sun on their faces, their smiles big and bright. I save it to my pictures, making it my home screen.

  The second is from my mother asking if she can come over for a visit. I pass over that one, looking at the next one from Bella asking what I want to eat. I think it’s too soon to reply that I would love to eat her.

  So my answer is a simple. Whatever you want.

  I tell Mick to call me if anything comes up, and I head out to get home. I don’t go over to Bella’s house right away, instead going to mine.

  Grabbing the mail at the door, I make my way into the kitchen, tossing it on the table, and grabbing a beer from the fridge. I pop it open and take a long pull.

  I’m here maybe ten minutes, sorting through the mail, chucking a good portion of the junk. Taking another pull off my beer, I hear a knock on the door.

  Going to the door, I open it to find Bella on the other side, all by herself.

  “Hey.” I grab her by the waist, pulling her inside. I close the door behind her, pinning her against it. Her surprised gasp gives me the opening I need.

  My mouth crashes down on hers with a need I haven’t felt before. I knew I missed her today, but I didn’t realize how much until I saw her standing there.

  My tongue slides into her mouth, and I taste strawberries as her tongue softly moves with mine.

  My hand roams down to her ass. A light squeeze there communicates my intent, and she responds by wrapping her legs around my waist as I lift her up. Her casted arm lies over my shoulder while the other hand snakes into my hair, pulling on it.

  “Missed you so much,” I tell her as I break the kiss, slowly moving to her chin as I work my way down to her neck. She moves her head to the side, giving me complete access.

  “Missed you, too. I came to ask if you are eating dinner with us.”

  “Mmm-hmm.” I continue working her neck, biting it gently, and then I move back to kissing her.

  Cradled right against her heat, my cock is rock hard and ready. I press further into her, and I feel her shudder in my arms. She pulls on my hair to look into my eyes. “I want you,” she whispers and leans forward to kiss my lips. She kisses her way down my chin to my neck, mimicking what I just did to her.

  Right as I’m about to attack her mouth again, there is another knock on the door. “I swear to God, I am going to shoot whoever is knocking on this door,” I tell her while I set her down on her feet.

  “Maybe it’s Brenda and Lilah. I did say I was just coming over for a minute and would be right back,” she tells me while I turn the knob and open the door, coming face to face with someone I’m not ready to see yet.

  My mother.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Bella

  When I hear the knock on the door, I want to cry or maybe scream. Either way, I’m just as frustrated as Jackson.

  When the door opens, staring in at us is Jackson’s mother. Adam’s mother.

  I knew I would have to face her eventually. I just didn’t think it would be this soon. I certainly didn’t think it would be as she interrupted her son kissing the life out of me.

  “Mom, what are you doing here?” he asks her as the smile falls from her lips.

  “I tried sending you a message. You didn’t answer me, so I came to see you,” she says, wringing her hands anxiously. She is obviously nervous to see her son and because she’s forced that by showing up unannounced.

  Looking past him, her eyes, bright with surprise, land on me. “Oh, Bella,” she says, pushing past Jackson. She comes right to me, taking me into her arms for a hug.

  My arms are glued to my side. My eyes find Jackson’s.

  She finally pulls back, holding my arms in her hands. “I was so worried about you and Lilah.” When she says Lilah’s name, my head snaps. My spine goes straight as do my shoulders.

  Jackson must sense the change because he makes his way over to me. Putting his arm around me, he tries to give me strength.

  “Mom, now isn’t a good time. I don’t think Bella is ready for a family reunion.”

  I lean into him, and he takes almost all of my weight, practically holding me up.

  “I’m so, so sorry. Please, I won’t take much of your time.” She looks at me. It’s a look from one mother to another, pleading with me to give her the time.

  “Mom,” Jackson starts.

  “It’s okay,” I say. “It was bound to happen. Might as well get it over with
now.” My arms wrap around his waist.

  “Fine, but when I say it’s over, it’s over.” He looks from me to his mother. “She’s healing, remember that.”

  She doesn’t say anything and just nods.

  We walk into his living room where she sits down on one love seat, and we sit on the other one facing her.

  “I don’t know where to start,” she says. “I had this whole speech planned out. All the words ready, but the minute I saw you, my mind went blank.” She looks around for the Kleenex box, finds it, and grabs one.

  “He wasn’t always a monster,” she starts, and I know exactly who she is talking about. “He was a terror, that is for sure. I’m telling you, by the age of seven, he already had four broken bones. He was afraid of nothing,” she says while she dabs her eyes.

  Jackson pulls my hand into his, intertwining our fingers in a show of unity.

  “He took his father’s death the hardest. It was at a time in his life where he needed guidance, and there was no one there for him.”

  Jackson clears his throat, drawing her gaze to him.

  “I mean, Jackson did try, but it wasn’t the same. I admit I checked out a little at first. Losing Frank was devastating. He was the love of my life, and continuing my life without him was so hard, but I had no choice. I had two boys to raise. Or, really just one.”

  Tears fill my eyes at the sound of her voice cracking when she tells me about their father. The love they shared is clearly apparent even after all this time. Their shared devastation made them into the people they are today.

  I don’t say anything because, frankly, there isn’t anything to say right now.

  “I saw changes in him, but I ignored them. I just thought he was going through a phase. He was angry at first, so very angry. He punched a couple of holes in the wall.” She looks over at Jackson, the surprise of her admission evident on his face.

  “I never told you because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.” She shakes her head. “I’m not making excuses for him. I’m just trying to show you he’s not the Adam we knew. The Adam you met, he isn’t the sweet little boy who used to pick dandelions and bring them home and profess his love for me.” The image of Adam she is painting is nothing like the man I knew.