Shattered by Love

by C. A. Harms

  I refused to do that to her again. “Don’t act like you aren’t pissed off. I don’t want you to be, but I know that you are. Talk to me.”

  “Max, I’m really tired. I just want to go to sleep.” She sounded defeated, and it only hurt worse knowing that I once again had hurt her. No, not on purpose, but my actions had caused her pain.

  “I love you.” I whispered.

  “Good night, Max.” She hung up before I could say anything more.

  I wanted to slam my phone against the wall, but I just squeezed it in my hand tightly. Seeing the blue light blinking on the top, indicating an unread message, I looked at my text screen and my chest ached.

  Thank you for letting me know. I worry about you. I love you so much it hurts. You make me smile, Max. I can’t wait to see you so I can feel your arms around me. Stay safe tonight. Dream of me.

  God damn it. Wallis and Martin had better hope they can out run me. Those two fuckers were on my shit list. Shit was about to get messy.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Bree

  I woke up in a really shitty mood. I had dreamt of Max and Megan together. It left me restless and irritable. I didn’t want to be upset, but I was. I’m not an idiot. I know Max had slept with other people. I just hated that one of the girls he messed with was Megan. She and I have classes together, and she has always tried to outdo me when it came to him. He swore to me that they were only friends, and now I knew otherwise.

  It was eating away at me. What else had he lied about? Should I trust him when he says that he just wants me? In the back of my mind, all I could think about was that I was setting myself up for heartache. Was I fooling myself, thinking he had changed?

  I slowly walked down the hall toward the kitchen. I found Lily rinsing her dishes at the sink. When she turned her head to look up at me, she looked so sad. “Hey sweets, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” She turned her back to me and busied herself once again.

  Stepping up behind her, I placed my hand on her shoulder. “Lily, I don’t buy it, tell me.”

  About then I heard a giggle and turned just in time to see a half-dressed brunette enter the kitchen, followed by a shirtless Tanner. It was obvious at that point that he had had a sleepover. I wrinkled my nose in disgust, and Tanner’s eyebrow shot up in question.

  “Morning, ladies.” He looked over my shoulder at Lily and winked. What an asshole.

  “Really, Tanner?”

  “What?” He appeared confused.

  “You are such an asshole. I used to think you couldn’t be all that bad, and that maybe somewhere inside that asshole exterior you had a heart. I guess I was wrong. What the hell is it with you Parks brothers? You’re pure fucking dicks that don’t give a shit about whom you hurt along the way.” I turned and took Lily’s hand in mine and dragged her along toward the stairs.

  “Get your stuff, we aren’t staying here anymore.” Lily looked at me with a shocked expression.

  Tanner followed behind me, and I was not in the mood to deal with any more shit. “What the hell was all that bullshit about? What the fuck did I do?”

  I spun around and faced him. “You act like you care one minute, and then you pull a move like this the next. Max fucked with my head for years and I dealt with it. I was stupid enough to believe that he would wake up one day and love me back. I handled all his rejection and torment, hanging on and hoping for more from him.”

  I pointed back at Lily without breaking eye contact with him. “I will not let you drag her through the shit I went through. She is worth more than that. You can’t pretend to like her one moment and then bring some random slut home the next. That is bull and you know it. If you don’t have the balls to own up to your feelings, then stop pretending you care.”

  I was seething and my heart was racing. Tanner pissed me off but, if I’m being honest, I’ll admit he also got the lashing meant for Max. I let it build and then I blew up. I had to get out of this apartment, and I could not let Lily be forced to see Tanner parade his sluts around in front of her. She liked him; that was obvious. I know what it feels like to be forced to witness another girl with a man you want. It truly is enough to make you feel worthless.

  After we gathered our things, I drove Lily to Kate’s. I had called her on the way and told her we were coming. Kate was a great friend, and she said we were more than welcome to stay with her and Carson. I felt like I just needed some distance.

  Logan, Lily’s brother, was due back tomorrow and she would be able to go home then. The police issued a restraining order against Randy and were just trying to serve him the papers. The problem was that the guy had been doing a really great job of hiding out.

  ***

  After I dropped Lily off with Kate, I hurried to class. I was still irritable and cranky as hell, but I needed the distraction. My phone had been vibrating repeatedly in my purse, so finally I just shut it off.

  I got back to Kate and Carson’s just after four to find a living room full of girls. Riley, Kate, and Lily were sitting around the snack bar, and Carley was banging away in her highchair next to them.

  “It’s about time you got back. We’re having a girls’ night. Carson just left for work and we kidnapped Riley. It is junk food and sappy movie night. We already rented the movies and the brownies are in the oven,” Kate announced as I entered the kitchen.

  Riley stood up and took a step in my direction. She leaned forward and hugged me. “Hey you, how is it going between you and my bullheaded brother?” I shrugged and she narrowed her eyes. “What did he do?”

  I attempted a smile, failing miserably. “He just forgot to mention a few things regarding Megan. I’m the one that looks like a fool in the end, though. You think I would be used to it by now.”

  “Okay, so tonight we are not going to talk about Parks men or Zander.” Kate winked at Riley. “We are going to have a night without their bull shit.”

  We all got busy gathering up things and moving them to the living room. We were all camped out on the couch and the first movie was placed in the DVD player--27 Dresses, one of my favorites, and it had been a long time since I had watched. A night with the girls would be good; this felt nice.

  ***

  It was just after seven when the doorbell rang, followed by knocking. Kate jumped up from the couch and peeked through the window just to the side of the door. She turned back, rolling her eyes, and looked at me. “Your caveman is at the door and, from the looks of it, he is pissed.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “He can be as pissed as he wants. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

  A loud pounding, followed by Max’s voice, caused my heart to race. “Open the damn door, I know Bree’s here.”

  “Meathead isn’t gonna leave until you talk to him. You know that, right? They are all the same; they think they rule the world.” Riley spoke up next to me.

  Turning back to face Kate, I nodded my head. “Let him in, let’s get it over with.”

  When she opened the door, Max’s hands were braced on the sides. He looked past Kate and his eyes met mine. I held his gaze, refusing to back down.

  He took a step inside and gripped his keys in his hand a little tighter. “Can I talk to you?”

  “Talk,” I said.

  “Alone,” he replied.

  I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest. “No, whatever you have to say to me, you can say right here. I’m tired of falling over myself to please you, Max. I didn’t screw up.”

  He narrowed his eyes, watching me closely. When he realized I wasn’t going to back down, he took another step closer. “I think we need to talk about the phone call and everything you heard.”

  “Oh, do you mean the blowjob queen and her abilities? We need to talk about the fact that you told me nothing was going on between you two, but you lied.” I could feel my heart racing in my chest and my throat felt dry.

  He ran his hand through his hair and looked around the room, saying nothing. I could tell he was trying t
o figure out what his next move should be. I would not let him get me alone, which would only lead to him sexing his way out of this, and I couldn’t let that happen.

  Yes, I know whatever he had with Megan happened when we were apart. I technically could not get mad at him; it wasn’t like he had cheated. My problem with the entire thing is he continuously had told me that they were just friends.

  Max had asked me over and over if I liked Cody. When I told him we were just hanging out as friends, he said that he and Megan were doing the same. The problem was that I meant what I said about Cody. We had never done anything together but hug. He knew that Max held my heart in his hands and respected that.

  Max, on the other hand, had lied. That did not sit well with me. It made me question everything else he had said to me.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Max

  I stood in my brother’s house, looking around the room at four pissed off women. Riley, Kate, Lily, and Bree all looked at me like they wanted to claw my eyes out.

  All I wanted to do was get Bree alone so we could work this shit out. I needed to make things right, but she refused to come with me.

  It was hard enough to speak my true feelings in front of her. I still wasn’t used to being vulnerable, and the entire sharing my feelings shit was foreign and unnerving. Now she was going to force me to say them in front of everyone. I felt nervous as hell.

  Was Bree worth the embarrassment I would have to face later, when my brothers got wind of what I was about to do? Hell, yes she was. I would be called a pussy and told that I was whipped, but I didn’t give a shit. At the end of the day, all I needed was for Bree to know I loved her and I would fight for her.

  I took the few steps that separated us and knelt before her on the floor. I placed my hands on her hips and slid her forward, bringing her face within inches of mine. “I never meant to lie to you. I just didn’t feel it was necessary to give you details. I know I should have told you, but I was too afraid of pushing you away farther than I already had.” I paused and nudged my way in between her knees.

  “Angel, I have made so many mistakes with you. I have pushed you away and left you feeling used, more times than I’d like to admit. I’m telling you right here, right now, I am never doing that to you again. It took a long time for my stubborn ass to wake up, but I’m wide awake. I want you, baby, only you. No other girl has ever made me feel the way you do.”

  I gently traced my thumb along her jaw and looked her in the eyes. “I love you, Aubree, and I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you. You mean the world to me. Please believe me when I say that there is only one woman who makes my heart race. There is only one woman who fits perfectly against my chest and in my arms. That woman is you, and I want that more than anything. Let me show you that I’ve changed and that I need you in my life.”

  I heard a sigh next to me, and I turned to find all eyes on us. Kate held her hand to her chest. Riley had tears in her eyes, and Lily was all smiles. I couldn’t help but chuckle at how they all looked.

  “That was so much better than watching some sappy movie. I never thought I would see the day that Maxwell Parks declared his love for someone,” Kate said.

  “Yep, definitely a moment to remember; it was so sweet,” Riley gushed, as tears ran down her cheeks. I wanted to tell her hormonal ass to reel it in, but I couldn’t. I had promised her I would keep her little pregnancy secret. So instead I just chuckled and turned back to face my girl.

  Bree still stared at me without saying a word. She held an unreadable expression that made my stomach tighten. “I’m sorry, can we just forget about this whole phone call and everything that was said? I don’t want this to get in our way. Everything in my past led me to you and that is the only thing that matters to me.”

  “I’ve waited around for you for so long, Max. I’ve spent a lot of time hoping that one day you would want the same things I do. Now you’re saying you do, but you have to understand how nervous that makes me. I keep wondering if I’m only setting myself up once more to be crushed in the end. I’m so scared of what you could do to me, how bad you could hurt me.” Bree looked back at me, worrying her lip.

  “I don’t expect you not to be cautious, after everything I’ve done to you and put you through. Just know that I will do everything I can to prove to you that I mean everything I say. I’m going to make this work between us. I won’t hurt you, baby. I’ll mend all the heartache I’ve caused you in the past. I will be the man you deserve.”

  I didn’t give her time to say anything more. I took her face in mine and brought my lips to hers. I kissed her softly and poured every ounce of love I felt for her into the kiss, willing her to feel just half of what I felt for her. I needed her to understand that she was what I wanted, needed, and could no longer live without. I was done running away; I wanted her in my life.

  When I pulled back from her, she kept her eyes closed tightly. “One more chance, Angel. That’s all I need. Let’s leave the past in the past. I wanna move forward from here, with you.” A single tear rolled down her cheek and I swiped at it with my thumb.

  When she opened her eyes, she met my gaze. “I hope you mean that, because I’m not sure I would recover if you hurt me again. I’m sure my heart couldn’t take another brush off from you.”

  “I meant every single word.” I reassured her. “I love you so much.”

  “I love you, too.” She sighed just before bringing her lips back to meet mine.

  ***

  Lying in bed, alone, was not how I pictured my night. I had hoped Bree would come home with me. I understood that she had made plans with the girls, but I wanted her in my arms. I was selfish and I didn’t want to share her.

  The noises coming from the hallway reminded me why Lily and Bree had left my apartment to begin with. Tanner had no fucking shame. Hearing him grunt and groan just continued to fuel my irritable state.

  I sat up in bed and walked down the hallway, beating on his door. “Keep it the fuck down, man. Stuff a sock in Miss Moaner’s mouth and get on with the shit.” I slapped my palm against the doorway once more before storming off back to my room and slamming the door.

  The one-night stands never bothered me before. Now they were getting under my skin. It reminded me of the shit I used to pull, and I was doing everything I could to leave that guy in the past.

  Unable to sleep, I crawled from bed and went downstairs for a beer. It was just after midnight when I flipped on the television and began scanning the channels. I had spent so many nights without Bree in my arms and had never thought twice about it. Now it bothered the hell out of me that she wasn’t here with me. I had gotten a taste of what it felt like having her in my bed. I liked walking into my room and finding her under my sheets, her dark hair scattered over my pillow.

  Bare feet slapping against the hardwood floor made me turn my head. Tanner’s hook-up was doing the walk of shame, and all I could do was shake my head. He trailed behind her wearing only his boxers. He led her toward the front door and opened it for her. Once she was ushered out, he said a quick goodbye and closed it before she could say anything in return.

  “Do you even know her name?” I asked, without turning around to face him. “Do you know anything about her?”

  “Anna, and she likes it from behind.” He chuckled as he walked toward the fridge and grabbed a beer for himself. He took a seat next to me, and I could only stare at him in disgust. “What?” he asked, as if nothing he had just said about the girl was disrespectful.

  “Nothing man, nothing at all.” I stood from the couch and walked toward the steps.

  “What the fuck happened to you, Max? I mean, you used to be fun.” He shouted over his shoulder from the couch, and I stopped at the bottom of the steps. I gripped the railing and hung my head for a moment.

  Taking a deep, calming breath, I responded. “No, T, I used to be a fucking prick that treated girls like they were garbage. I never thought twice about the destruction I was leaving in my pat
h.” I looked back at him. “When you have something life-changing blow up in your face, you’ll realize that life is too short to waste it. I would rather have that one person I can turn to, that one girl to love, than a hundred nameless girls.”

  I took the stairs, two at a time. Hearing him grumble on and on about me growing a vagina only made me laugh. One day that asshole would have someone shift the ground beneath him, and I would be the first one in line to torment the fuck out of him.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Bree

  The last week with Max was completely unexpected. He has been nothing but the sweetest, most loving and attentive guy. He was going above and beyond to prove himself.

  The problem was that I missed my Max, the guy that made my heart race in anticipation of his next move. I loved the unpredictable caveman. I didn’t want him to change who he was.

  It was the cocky, dominant man I fell in love with. It was true that I wanted to get all of his attention. I just wanted him to remain the same guy, while giving it to me. I wanted to feel the passionate intensity that I have always felt with him. He was a take charge kind of guy, and I had to admit that I found it unbelievably hot.

  He had made plans for us tonight. He wouldn’t tell me anything about them, though. He only said I should be ready by six.

  I still hadn’t gone back to my apartment, Max was adamant about me not being alone. The guy was after Lily, not me. I wasn’t sure why it was such a big deal. I think he just liked knowing that I was asleep in his bed. I smiled at the thought.

  I was just finishing the final touches to my makeup when I heard him enter the room. Looking away from the mirror for only a second, I took in his sweat-drenched body. I clenched my thighs tightly, because the man looked good after he worked out. I bit my lower lip to hold back a whimper.