CREE

by LaShawn Vasser

  Her head jerked. “Best friend? I thought David was your best friend?”

  Exasperated he responded, “David is my best friend. I’ve also become pretty tight with a few other people. You know it’s okay to have more than one best friend, Cree.”

  “Only, you don’t talk very much about your other friends in New York. Are there any women in your new network of friends?”

  He could see this conversation going off the rails pretty quickly too. “Cree, I’ve met and become close with a few people. They’re mostly the people in my study group and people I’ve done my clinicals with. We’re all dealing with the same stuff, it’s easier to motivate and hold each other accountable. That’s it.”

  The hairs on the back of her neck started to stand up and a knot formed in the pit of her stomach. Blinking rapidly, she responded, “So, that means yes. Do you tell the other women in your study group things that you haven’t told me too? Since you’ve grown so close and all.”

  He smiled cheekily as he walked barefoot to stand directly in front of her. She was jealous. That was one thing she didn’t need to worry about. He pinched her chin between his fingers. “Never that close. The only person who’s in my heart and allowed to touch this body is you.”

  Cree thought her lungs were going to explode from holding her breath waiting for his answer. She let it out ever so slowly as relief washed over her.

  In her mind, their marriage was fine aside from the obvious. They seemingly had managed to do the impossible; maintain a long distance relationship for almost four years, six really.

  “What does he know that I don’t? What haven’t you figured out how to tell me?”

  His smile faded as he battled with himself on how much, if anything, he should say. Maybe he should just tell her everything, but if he told her everything, it would probably ruin the rest of their weekend.

  Her eyes narrowed just a bit. “Cameron, what is it and why haven’t you told me?”

  She was like a dog with a bone when she was like this. He had to tell her…now. Cameron dragged Cree over and on to the sofa and pulled her down onto his lap making sure to wrap his arms tightly around her waist.

  She let the fabric fall to the couch. “Come on Cam, you’re starting to scare me.”

  He dropped his forehead on her shoulder and breathed in her scent, “I don’t mean to, and I’m sorry for scaring you.” He exhaled loudly, “I received an offer to complete my residency at Presbyterian Hospital and I accepted.”

  For a moment, she couldn’t process what he’d just said. “What? Jackson didn’t come through?” Cree was crushed. She was sure that he’d get that residency.

  It would be easier to lie, but they’d always been honest with each other. He didn’t want to start lying now. “I was offered both residencies.”

  “Then, I don’t understand?”

  “Cree, I’ve lived in New York for a while now. I honestly think Presbyterian would be a better fit for me.”

  She pulled away from him so she could see his face. “For you? What about me? What about the things we decided? My plans?” Her voice started to rise. “You accepted and didn’t even discuss it with me!”

  “Look, I know you’re upset but this is my career we’re talking about. Do you know how prestigious it is for me to get accepted at Presbyterian? Jackson Hospital could never compete with what I could learn and do there. The connections I could make.”

  She stood up looking down at him and folded her arms. “Cam, our life is here. My grandfather is here!”

  It was his turn to raise his voice. “You don’t think I know that? That I didn’t think about how this would affect him? I love him like he’s my own grandfather. We’ll figure something out, and we’ll visit as often as we can.”

  Cree shook her head. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you would make such a huge decision without even discussing it with me first.”

  He stood up to take her height advantage away. “I made this decision for us, Cree.” His arms flailed around the room, “Do you think I like that you have to work two jobs? Or, that my wife lives in this shitty apartment? Hell no. Presbyterian will provide me with the connections I’ll need to give us the kind of life you deserve.”

  Cree was hurt. She knew that the apartment wasn’t the best, but it was their home. She had tried to fill it with things made out of love for him. She swallowed deeply. “All I hear is you saying that this is right for you and your career, but what about me? I was going to go back to Jackson U so I could finish my degree.”

  “You’re obviously not hearing me. I’m doing all of this for you.”

  “No. No, you’re not. Otherwise, you would have discussed this with me.” She pointed her finger at his chest. “This is about you.”

  “Cree, you’re being ridiculous. There are a gazillion colleges in New York. Pick one. I know you don’t really like the city but if you just gave it a chance, you might change your mind.”

  She whispered, “My life is here, Cameron.”

  “My life is in New York!”

  Tears started to form in her eyes. She swallowed hard. “I need some air. I’m going out for a while.”

  Cree turned on her heels and walked toward the door. She grabbed the car keys and her purse off the counter before leaving; slamming the door behind her. Cameron closed his eyes. He yelled into the empty apartment. “SHIT!” Standing in the middle of living room, doubt washed over him. Had he made the right decision?

  *****

  Cree sat on Melody’s sofa retelling the entire story, desperately trying to keep her tears at bay. “How could he do this? We made plans. He was going to do his residency in Jackson if it was offered so that we could be closer to my grandfather. This is going to break his heart. I’m all he has left.” A few tears managed to escape and rolled down her cheek. Cree brushed them away.

  Melody knew Cree was upset and didn’t want to upset her further, but they were friends. She had to be honest. “Okay. So, Cameron should not have made this decision without talking to you first, but he did. The residency is what two years?”

  She nodded through glassy eyes. “Yes.”

  “Okay, two years. Your grandfather is healthy as a horse. He’s still a relatively young man at sixty-seven. He has tons of friends and David, and I are here. You don’t have to worry about him being alone or lonely. You know that, so you can’t use it as an excuse.”

  “Two years is a long time.”

  “Yes. It is. But, between the two years Cameron spent at Jackson only coming home on weekends and the four years he spent at Cornell, you two have lived apart for almost six years. That has to be a strain. It would be a strain on any marriage.”

  “I thought all of that would be over once he started his residency here.”

  “But, he’s not going to Jackson. He has decided to take the opportunity in New York.”

  “He could decline it and go to Jackson.”

  “Come on Cree, you are being silly,” Melody shook her head. “How likely is that?”

  Cree dropped her eyes to the floor. “I hate it there,” she stated quietly.

  Melody was doing her best to sound optimistic. “It can’t be that bad.”

  “It’s not just New York; it’s everything. I always feel so out of place and awkward around his friends. They’re doing great things, and I haven’t even figured out what I want to declare as my major. I just feel so inadequate around them. And…”

  Melody softened her voice. “And what?”

  “What if he realizes…I’m just a small town girl?” Cree studied her hands; a reminder that she worked as a cashier in a grocery store and was a part-time gas station attendant. Cameron was about to become a doctor. “What if he’s outgrown me? It’ll be so obvious there.”

  Incredulously, she responded, “Is that what you’re afraid of? It’s as plain as day that Cameron loves you, Cree. Have faith in him and your love for each other.” She lifted Cree’s chin to look at her. “I promise everything wil
l work out.”

  Cree nodded. She pressed her lips together before speaking, “I hate this, but I need to trust him don’t I?” She sighed, “If he thinks Presbyterian is a better opportunity, I suppose I should start packing. I’ll still have to make it clear he can’t just go off making decisions about our lives all willy nilly.”

  “Definitely! Give him hell for that.” Melody smiled.

  Cree reached out and hugged her. “I’ll miss you. You’ve been in my life since I was thirteen.”

  Her voice was thick with emotion. “I’ll miss you too. But we’ll text…”

  Cree finished her sentence, “Everyday and we’ll snapchat too. You’ll tell me everything that’s going on around here.”

  “I most certainly will!” Teary eyed they smiled sadly at one another.

  “And, Cameron said we would visit every chance we can.”

  “There you have it. It’ll be like you never left.”

  Both Melody and Cree knew that was a lie. However, holding on to the lie was much easier than dealing with the truth. They were on the cusp of one of those life changing moments and hoped their relationship wouldn’t suffer because of it.

  *****

  The drive over from Melody’s to her grandfathers was only a few minutes. She pulled up to his ranch-style home. Mr. Cyrus Watson was sitting on the porch drinking lemonade. He lifted his head the moment her car pulled up into the driveway.

  Cree’s feet felt like lead as she opened the door and got out of the car. How was she going to tell her grandfather that she was leaving him? It had been just the two of them ever since her mom died when she was thirteen years old and her father was killed in a car accident before she was old enough to remember him. Cree was all the family he had left.

  He put the paper down. “I wasn’t expecting to see you and Cameron until tomorrow.”

  “Hey, Pa Pa.”

  “What’s with that sour puss look on your face? You should be levitating off of the ground.”

  She walked up the few steps and plopped down on the bench next to him. “We had an argument.”

  He looked out across the street at his neighbor’s driveway. Some of the kids were playing an intense game of basketball. “Yeah well, couples do that from time to time.”

  “A big one.” Cree slumped. He could see that she’d been crying.

  “They all feel that way at the time.”

  “Was that how it was with you and grandma?”

  He chuckled. “No. She won every argument.”

  “I don’t need to win every argument. I just want to win this argument.”

  “You should go to New York, Cree.”

  She whipped her head around to face her grandfather. “How’d you know about that?”

  He smirked. “How do you think? Cameron called a couple of hours ago looking for you. He told me about the whole thing.”

  “I don’t want to sound like a broken record or like I’m whining but why doesn’t anyone else see the bigger issue. He made a life changing decision without me. We’re supposed to be partners…a team. It’s supposed to be us against the world!”

  “And, he was wrong. I told him he was wrong not to discuss something like this without you.”

  Cree threw her hands up in the air, “Exactly!”

  “BUT…”

  She frowned. “But what?”

  Her grandfather turned to look her in the eye. “He’s right. Presbyterian is a better opportunity than Jackson hospital.”

  “Pa Pa, it’s a two year residency.”

  He said quietly, “I know.”

  Cree laid her head on his shoulder. “I’ll be away from you for two years.”

  “Not two years. He promised he’d make sure you’d visit.”

  She hesitated, “You’ll be alone.”

  A smile threatened the corner of his mouth, “Baby girl, you can’t worry about me. I’ve lived my life. You’re just starting yours. And, I won’t be alone. I have more friends than I know what to do with.”

  “You honestly think I should go to New York?”

  “You and Cameron have been apart longer than what’s healthy. In a marriage, sometimes you make sacrifices for the benefit of your family. This decision is going to be one of many.”

  “I’ve already made so many sacrifices. What about school? I was supposed to enroll at Jackson U this fall.”

  He lightened his tone. “Finish in New York. Then, I can brag to all my friends about my grand-daughter having a fancy degree from some school in New York.”

  “I think you, Cameron, and Melody are all conspiring against me.” Cree scrunched up her face and smirked.

  “No. You’ve sacrificed for so long, and you’re both so close to the finish line. We just want to make sure you make it there…together.”

  Cree hugged her grandfather. “I love you Pa Pa.”

  “I love you too. Now stop wasting time here with me, and go home to your husband. He’s worried sick.”

  Stubbornly, she spoke under her breath. “Serves him right.”

  *****

  Several hours later, Cree finally went home.

  Cameron was sitting on the couch waiting with his eyes closed and his head thrown back against the sofa. He immediately stood up when he heard her keys jiggle into the key hole.

  He stuck his hands in the front pocket of his jeans. Cameron knew that he was wrong and should have discussed this decision with her. Still, he said a silent prayer that Cree was calm enough to understand why he thought this was the best decision for them.

  As soon as she stepped through the door, he spoke, “I shouldn’t have made this decision without you. I’m sorry.”

  Her voice was soft. “Would my opinion have changed anything?”

  He breathed in deeply. “Cree, I want to say what you want to hear. I want to say yes, but that wouldn’t be true. I honestly think this is the best decision for us. Presbyterian is one of the most coveted residencies in the country. I would have been a fool not to take it.”

  Disappointed in his answer her face fell, as she nodded. “Granted, I would have been mad. I would have argued with you, but if this is truly the best decision, then I would have wanted you to take it. But, you should have at least trusted me to talk to me about it first.”

  Cameron looked sheepish and apologetic. “You’re right. I should have trusted you and this is a decision we both should have made. So, you’re okay with it then? You’re willing to move to New York?”

  Cree hesitated for a moment before answering, “I hate this. I hate it even more that you just went off on your own. Cameron, you have to promise me that you won’t ever do something like this again. No matter how big a fight it might cause between us. Successful marriages don’t work that way.”

  “I promise. We’re a team.” He crossed his heart and gave her the Boy Scout salute.

  Resigned that in eight weeks, she would be a New Yorker, Cree responded, “Then, yes to both questions.”

  Cameron picked her up and twirled her around and around in circles. “I promise. You won’t regret this.”

  She didn’t know if that was true or not. Right now though, he held her in his arms, and she would trust that they loved each other enough to get through anything.

  Chapter 6

  Eight weeks arrived faster than Cree would have liked. Before she’d known it, her entire life had been packed up in several boxes. Most of the furniture in her apartment had been ready for the garbage anyway and was trashed. There wasn’t much left after that, but what remained was stored in her grandfather’s garage or shipped to Cameron’s apartment.

  Cameron came home to attend their going away/graduation party and to take the train back with her to New York. Cree couldn’t imagine not needing her Kia, but Cameron said they wouldn’t so she stored it in her grandfather’s garage. She had already put her trust in him for the big decisions; it would be silly not to trust him with the little things too. She shivered slightly as she thought about packing up her life, a
nd leaving everything and everyone she loved behind.

  Cameron pulled her body closer to his as he held her in the crook of his arms. The top of her head leaned against the bottom of his chin. He whispered while absentmindedly kissing her on the temple. “Are you cold? The train can get a little chilly especially at night.”

  He was right. It was a bit cool, but that wasn’t the source of her chill. The train sped along the tracks rocking in semi-darkness somewhat jerkily however, it was pretty quiet. Most of the riders were probably sleeping.

  Her hand rested lightly on his chest as she turned into the cocoon of his embrace intent on getting as close as she could. Cree spoke softly, “No. I'm all right; just thinking.”

  Cameron closed his eyes as he breathed in the coconut scent of her hair. It was always like a balm to his soul…comforting. It gave him such a feeling of peacefulness. After a moment, he spoke against the side of her temple. “Yeah, about what?”

  The warmth of his breath against her skin not only made it tingle but was also calming. Cree slowly exhaled. “I left everything behind today.”

  Cameron knew she was scared. Who wouldn’t be? But she didn’t need to worry. He made vows to take care of her and would do everything in his power to make sure she was happy. “Not exactly everything. I’m here. It’s us against the world remember?”

  She looked up into his eyes and gave him a shaky smile. “I do. That’s why I’m here with you.”

  “Good. I know leaving home was a big step, but I’ll take care of you. I meant it when I made that promise on our wedding day.”

  A half smile formed across her face. “We’re a regular old Bonnie and Clyde.”

  “And don’t you forget it.” He took her hand in his hand and kissed the tips. “A medical residency salary won’t have us living in the lap of luxury, but it’ll be enough to take care of us. I also understand how important going back to school is to you, so if we budget, you’ll be able to go back starting this semester.” Cameron continued to nibble on her fingers. “You’ve already carried more of the financial burden than I’m comfortable with. It’s my turn.”