Monachopsis

by Lyra Winters

  "If you can't try to empathize, then you might as well not."

  "That's not fair!" Her heel stomped on the carpet.

  "Just don't talk to Xavier anymore today. You're making it harder on him." I walked over and opened the door.

  She huffed, nodding, as she walked out of the room. "Okay, fine."

  "Thank you," I whispered before leaving the room and joining Blaine in our designated chairs.

  "What was that about?" He nodded his head toward Ivy who was pouting beside Nolan.

  "She said some shitty things to Xavier."

  He grunted. "Doesn't surprise me."

  I inhaled a deep breath before letting it go. "I wish I could help him more."

  His hand slid into mine and he interlaced our fingers. "There's nothing else you can do."

  I squeezed his hand and nodded. "I know, you're right."

  Xavier stood in front of the pack; his hands were trembling as he stared at the coffin that held his mate.

  "Thank you all for coming. I know only a few of you were able to get to know Olivia on a personal level. That's because she just came to the pack a month ago and I was keeping her to myself." He sniffled and rubbed his eyes with his left hand. "Point is, she was your Gamma Female, and she was fucking precious to me. I'll sure as hell never be the same but I can't thank you enough for you all to come and pay your respects to her."

  The pack clapped at his speech and I stood up with Blaine to walk over beside him.

  "You may all pay your respects now. Xavier wanted her burial to be private and we hope you understand that," I said.

  A few members nodded their heads in return.

  I faced Xavier as the pack lined up to see Olivia and wish her spirit well.

  "You did good," I told him.

  "I'm a mess, Sophia. I know that. But I'll get better after I put her to rest."

  Blaine patted his back. "And we'll be here for you if you need us."

  "Thanks man."

  Once everyone paid their respects, they left. We carried her coffin into the forest next to the pre-dug hole we had prepared and gave Xavier a few minutes alone with her.

  Once he was ready, we buried her in the forest and sprinkled wolfsbane over the dirt to protect her grave. Xavier broke down once we buried her. His mom cradled him as he sobbed uncontrollably, and his dad rubbed his back. It was the most heartbreaking sight to see.

  Riley placed a hand on his back and told him she loved him before leaving with her mate. Blaine and I stayed behind to bless her grave and help comfort him, but it was no use. He was broken; he had just buried his soulmate. His parents assured us they would take care of him and insisted we go.

  Blaine and I found ourselves back at our cottage, in bed with our bodies entangled together. Not in a whim of passionate sex, but in an everlasting embrace of assurance and love. I couldn't bear to be apart from him after today. I craved skin-to-skin contact.

  His lips brushed against my forehead. "I'm so grateful to have you in my arms."

  I snuggled into his chest and planted a kiss above his heart. "I know what you mean."

  He held me tighter. "I've never had such an overwhelming urge to keep someone safe. All I want to do is to keep you safe, but it's so hard when you're an Alpha too. I constantly worry about you."

  I adjusted myself to where I was facing him and cupped his cheek with my free hand. "I know how you feel. I feel the same way about you, but I can't help the fact that I have a dangerous title. You have the same title, and if anything, it makes us stronger."

  "You're right but you're so fucking stubborn."

  I grinned and trailed my fingers down his jawline. "Teach me a lesson then."

  His eyes danced with amusement before he flashed me a smile. "I would love to." He pushed me down and hovered over me. My hands were pinned above my head and I tilted my head back to show him my mark.

  "Don't hold back from me," I murmured.

  A moan escaped my lips as he bent down and grazed my mark with his teeth. His hands skimmed over my waist, and I wrapped my legs around him, lifting my hips slightly to feel his hardened cock against me.

  "I love you," he said, lowering his lips to mine. I pressed my lips against him, pouring all my love into the kiss.

  I pulled back slightly. "I love you."

  He looked at me with soft eyes, grabbing my hips and guiding his cock inside of me slowly. My walls clenched around him, making him moan. He pushed deeper and my back arched, vibrations of ecstasy moving through my body. I moaned as he pushed himself even deeper.

  With each thrust I felt an overwhelming sense of comfort. My arms draped around his neck and we buried our faces into each other's marks. We kissed the marks we held for one another; our bodies wrapped tightly against each other as an earth-shattering orgasm exploded inside of me. He went tense, coming right after me.

  He kissed my lips. "I never want to lose you."

  "You won't," I said, smiling up at him.

  I prayed that the fates had blessed us with long, happy lives together. They owed me that much.

  Olivia's death affected the pack in more ways than one. My members feared Lockhart, they were wary of our agreement, and concerned for their Gamma's wellbeing—not that I could blame them. I had let Xavier choose whether to retaliate. Olivia was his mate. He deserved to make that decision.

  The past couple weeks I'd been cooped up in my office filling out paperwork and talking to concerned members. Blaine convinced me this morning to take some time away to clear my head, and I was glad I did.

  My feet crunched the assortment of sticks and leaves as we walked through the forest. The crisp air skimmed against my skin and it felt serene.

  "You were right. I needed to relax," I said as I turned my head toward him. My breath caught in my throat as I caught the intensity of his gaze. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

  He stopped walking, edging closer. He rested his thumb on my cheek. "Do you not like it when I look at you like that?"

  I shook my head. "No—I do."

  His smile made my knees weak, and I grabbed his arms for support.

  "Kiss me," he murmured.

  I didn't need to be told twice. My hands fisted themselves in his hair and I placed my lips against his. He tugged me closer, and my tongue slipped into his mouth, making him groan.

  "You're a fucking Goddess."

  "I love you," I said in between kisses.

  "I love you." He pulled away, cupping my face. "I've been wanting to talk to you about something."

  "Oh?"

  "I've been meaning for us to talk about our future. I can't leave my Gamma in charge of my pack forever." He rubbed the back of his neck.

  "I've been thinking a lot about that too, and I've decided." I chewed on my bottom lip. "I want to go with you to your pack."

  He hesitated. "Are you sure?"

  "Ever since Nolan rejected me, I felt like an outcast in my pack. Few took the time out of their days to come and talk to me after that. I'm their Alpha and yet I feel so out of place with the majority here," I said.

  "I understand that. Do you still want to leave even though Xavier just lost his mate and the pending decision of what to do with the Lockhart pack?"

  My tongue darted out to wet my dry lips. "It's not an easy decision by any means and I'm not exactly ready to leave right this second. I still want to be here for Xavier through his grief and ensure my pack's safety before leaving but... this is the best choice for us. I can feel it."

  His arms wrapped around me and he squeezed me into his chest. "You will never feel out of place in my pack. We can stay as long as you need to before we leave."

  "I love you." I rested my head against his shoulder.

  "What are you going to do about your pack?" he asked.

  "I'm going to have Riley become Alpha. I figure Xavier can be Beta and they can both decide on who would become Gamma."

  "You're making a good decision, Darlin'." He rubbed circles on my shoulders.

&n
bsp; "What do you want to do now?" I closed my eyes, focusing on how good his touch felt.

  "I think you can guess what I want to do." He chuckled, wrapping his arms around me.

  I ran a hand down my face as I sighed. "I understand that, Xavier. I really do. But... it's suicide. They have more members and a lot of aggressive murder-driven allies. How could we put this pack in that kind of danger?"

  "He killed my mate!" His fist went down onto my desk, splitting the wood.

  "The bastard deserves to be killed." Blaine placed a hand on the crack that now resided on my desk. "But at what cost? The cost of the Maxwell pack's members? They could wipe the whole pack out."

  "I don't fucking care! I'll do it myself if I have to." Xavier's body trembled, and I noticed his eyes darken. His wolf was fighting him to take control.

  "Xavier! I swear to fates, if you don't calm yourself down, I will strip you of your rank." My voice was dangerously low, and my wolf demanded respect from him.

  His wolf responded, and his body relaxed. "I'm sorry. It's just—Olivia." He ran his hand over his face. "I can't eat. I can't sleep. Caroline has been bringing me food and helping me cope but it's hard. I just want his blood. He needs to pay."

  "And he will. Karma is a real thing. He'll get what's coming to him," I assured him with a slight frown.

  I wanted to do more, to avenge Olivia and help Xavier. But our pack was too small, and too vulnerable compared to the Lockhart pack. I had to think logically as an Alpha, because war would do nothing but get our members killed and our pack taken over. Lockhart was relentless when crossed and I had to protect the pack.

  He hesitated, and his frown deepened. "I did something before I came here this morning."

  "What did you do?"

  His leg bounced up and down as his eyes darted back and forth. "I knew you weren't going to start a war with Lockhart. I wanted to kill him myself, so I went to his land this morning and was confronted by two of his guards. I killed them both." He gulped and rested his eyes on me. "I didn't go any farther because I couldn't risk you hating me."

  Blaine leaned his head back. "Fuck."

  I leaned my head on my hands and blew out air before sitting up straight and addressing his confession. "This morning?"

  He nodded.

  "I'll call him now. You realize that you are this close—" I held my thumb and index finger about an inch apart. "—to starting a war with that pack. You're our Gamma!"

  "I know, and I'm sorry." He dropped his head down.

  I sucked on my bottom lip and rolled my eyes. What were we supposed to do now? Lockhart would be pissed. He wasn't stupid, he would come straight here once they informed him of his guards.

  "That should've been the first thing you told us. Had you not been going through the loss of your mate, I'd strip you of your rank." Blaine growled.

  "I know. It was reckless—"

  "It was stupid, Gamma."

  "Stupid, yes. It was stupid. I won't do anything like that again, but I was so fucking angry," he whimpered.

  "You're the Gamma, Xavier. Put the pack first." I stood up and walked over to him. "We will call Lockhart and see what we can do to avoid a war. But you have to promise me you will stop craving revenge. I need you clear-minded, and not a loose cannon."

  He glanced up at me and frowned. "I know, Alpha. I'll try."

  "That's all I'm asking."

  He stood up and stalked toward the door. He paused with his hand on the knob before glancing over his shoulder. "I'm sorry... I just wanted to avenge her death." He opened the door and shut it behind him without waiting for a reply.

  I walked back over and slumped into my chair. "That was a disaster."

  "He's putting this pack in danger." Blaine lifted my head up by my chin.

  "I know." I closed my eyes as he bent down to kiss me.

  "We'll take care of it. The sooner we can sort this shit out, the sooner I can introduce you to my pack." He flashed a boyish grin at me.

  My lips curved upward as I nodded. "We have to tell my pack first."

  "Ah, yes. But first, we have to deal with this mess." He grunted, shifting in his seat beside me.

  I grabbed my phone and dialed the number. I pressed the speaker button, placing the phone on the desk. It rang twice before he answered.

  "Alpha Maxwell." His voice was unnerving.

  "Alpha Lockhart, I just got word of what my Gamma has done." I tapped my fingers on the desk. "It wasn't a pack attack on you. He retaliated because you sent the order to kill his mate. Your sister."

  A chuckle came through the phone. "How delightful. You can't even keep in line your high-ranked members. That's too bad."

  "You killed his mate," I stated.

  "I ordered my warrior to kill my sister, her being his mate was irrelevant."

  "I'm only calling because I want to prevent a war with you." I glanced at Blaine and frowned.

  "Well, your Gamma just killed two of my warriors and some of your pack members are dead on my land because a group of your pack just tried to attack my pack. You only have about five coming back home, terribly sorry about that." His voice sliced into my body like butter.

  "What are you talking about, Lockhart?" I growled, my wolf was fighting me, outraged by the disrespect of my pack. Blaine wrapped his arm around me and pressed me into him.

  "Are you saying we have a rebellion happening without our knowledge?" Blaine asked Lockhart.

  "That's exactly what I'm saying. Either you two fix Maxwell pack or I'll raid your whole pack and take over. I'm tired of your pack causing mine trouble."

  "Alpha Lockhart, I'm sorry this has happened. I should thank you for killing the traitors in our pack. I plan to show the pack a lesson, especially the five you sent back here. We have dealt with our Gamma and he will no longer be a threat to you," Blaine said through gritted teeth.

  "That's great. I have a lot of respect for you, Huntington. Make sure your mate's pack gets their shit together or I won't hesitate in taking them out. Call back when you have this sorted." He hung up.

  I stood up and pushed away from Blaine. My claws extended, and I felt my canines pop out. My wolf pushed to the surface, and I felt my bones pop as I shifted in our office. My wolf was growling as I trotted over to the door and pawed at it.

  Blaine walked over and opened the door for me.

  We made our way in front of the pack house and I mind-linked the whole pack. 'Outside the pack house. Now.'

  The pack members surrounded us with confused looks all over their faces. I threw my head back and howled as I saw the five bloody wolves walking over to us. I shifted back to my human form and Blaine took his shirt off to hand to me.

  I pulled the shirt over my head and walked over toward the five wolves with their heads hung low.

  "Shift now!" I used my Alpha voice to command them.

  Each wolf shifted back in front of me, bare ass naked. Blood coated their skin, and they shivered in fear. I heard the whispers of our pack.

  "How many of you were there?" Blaine asked.

  "Twenty-three, Alpha Huntington."

  "Twenty-three of our pack members went against me and attacked the Lockhart pack," I announced to the rest of the pack.

  I could hear gasps all around us.

  "You aren't fit to be our Alpha! You let that pack get away with killing our Gamma's mate. You couldn't protect her," one of the men said.

  "I assume you're the mastermind behind this rebellion?" I crossed my arms.

  He nodded. "I don't think you're a good Alpha. You made the wrong call."

  I growled lowly. "You challenging me?"

  "N-No. But I feel like something needs to change."

  "I agree with you. I've been far too lenient with those who cross me. You led twenty-three pack members to Lockhart pack, eighteen members were killed because of you. The reason I haven't gone against Lockhart pack is because I was thinking of this pack's safety. They are merciless and have many allies that are just as cruel. They would
slaughter us."

  "At least we'd die with dignity." He spat on the ground.

  "Dignity? Is that what you call what you did today?" Blaine asked.

  The man nodded, and Blaine glanced at me. "He has no remorse for what he's done."

  "I sentence you to death in the cellars. If you think you can lead a rebellion in this pack, behind my back, you can die in the cellars for your crimes. As for the other four, what are your stances?"

  "It was a mistake!"

  "I didn't even want to do it!"

  "I couldn't stop him, but I tried!"

  "I'm so sorry!"

  The four other men had tears in their eyes as they pleaded with me.

  "I sentence you four to six months in the cellars. If anyone in this pack tries something like this again, they will be sent to the cellars and will be killed."

  The man trembled, and his eyes were wide. He wasn't expecting me to sentence him to death but what else did he expect? What he did was treason.

  "Riley, take them to the cellars. Xavier, come with us." We walked silently toward our office inside the pack house.

  "Are you punishing me?" Xavier asked, once we shut the door.

  I shook my head. "You acted out of grief because of your mate. I need you to take an oath that you won't attack the Lockhart pack. He claims he will let this mess go if I can ensure his pack's safety from ours."

  He glanced down and hesitated. "Okay. I don't like it, but okay. I don't want to cause this pack to go to war. You have my word."

  I nodded. "Thank you, I know it's difficult."

  His eyes looked dull as he gave me a smile. "Just let me know if you need anything else."

  "I will, take care of yourself."

  "I will." He shut the door behind him.

  Blaine and I sat on the daybed against the far wall in the office. I pulled out my phone and dialed Lockhart's number again.

  "Maxwell, did you sort out your issues?"

  I sighed. "Matter-of-fact I did. The leader of the group that attacked you is being killed, the other four that survived are being sentenced to torture for six months. My Gamma also made an oath that he would back off your pack. My pack is no longer any nuisance to you."