The Firsts Series Box Set

by M. J. Fields

  “Are you okay?” Both London and Emma say to each other at the same time. Then I see tears falling down my wife’s beautiful face and hear London choke back her own.

  “I’m sorry, Mom,” London says quietly. “I’m sorry he did that to you.”

  “Brody and I were just discussing that, London. Nothing we can do to change the past, but we can move forward.”

  I rub her back, easing the tension I know she carries.

  “We can discuss a hundred different things that wouldn’t have happened had he not died.” Emma sighs. “No need to go back. We need to move forward. Honest to God, London, I hope she had a good life—has a good life,” she corrects herself. “If you’re sisters, she will be a part of this family.”

  My chest burns with pride for the woman on my lap, in my life, my bed, my fucking heart.

  “If not, you are friends, so she is, as well.”

  “She didn’t know Dad,” London whispers, causing Emma to stiffen.

  “Well then, he’s lucky he’s not here to take a knee to his nuts for not being in her life.” Emma briefly loses her shit. “But we are now.”

  “Thank you, Mom,” London whispers.

  “No thanks needed, London. I love you more.” Emma smiles. “And you’ll possibly soon have another niece or nephew.”

  “Niece, and she’s beautiful. I was here when she delivered her. Right in the room, Mom,” London croons. “Let Dad know I’m not planning to do that anytime soon.”

  Emma laughs, and so does London.

  “I’m hoping to stay here for a bit.”

  “Logan with you?” Emma asks.

  “He hasn’t left, Mom, and I really hope he doesn’t.” I can imagine cartoon hearts dancing in her eyes, and it sickens me. “I know this is all new, but how strange is it that she and Logan were friends?”

  “Pretty strange,” Emma says quietly.

  “He’s going to make sure she’s okay, and I really want to, as well.”

  “I’m sure the two of you will,” Emma says with an almost yearning sound to her voice.

  “I’m still going to want and need you in my life. He’s...wonderful, you know?”

  “I’m glad, sweetheart. I truly am.” The truth in Emma’s voice is evident.

  “Make sure Dad gets that. Make sure he knows you trust me and Logan, and maybe tell him to remember who I am,” she pauses, “at heart. That hasn’t and never will change.”

  “He’s right here, London. He and I already discussed Logan. He’s going to respect your decisions.”

  Is that so?

  “Let him know I overheard his and Logan’s conversation, and I think he could be less of a dick next time.” London giggles.

  “Will do.”

  “I’ll call you when I know we’ll be back.”

  “We’ll?”

  “Mom,” she sighs.

  “London, last night was understandable, but I would prefer that you and Logan consider how impressionable Lexington is. She looks up to you, okay? So, no sleepovers with the boyfriend.”

  London doesn’t say anything.

  “London?”

  “Yeah, Mom, I hear you.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay.”

  Thank fuck! I cheer inwardly.

  Emma looks at me and visibly relaxes. She looks back at London and reminds her, “Make sure you check in and let me know when you’re on your way back.”

  “I might stay for a while, Mom. She’s...” The pain in London’s voice nearly cripples me. “She’s not sure what she wants to do with the baby.”

  “We’ll take it,” flies out of my mouth.

  London laughs. “Hey, Dad.”

  “Hey, little princess.”

  “You do know she and Logan are friends, so if you’re a dick to him, she’s not going to like you very much.”

  Emma sucks in her lips and watches me figure out how to bullshit my way through this one.

  “Logan and I will be fine.”

  “Is that so?” London asks smugly, amused.

  “As long as he adheres to the rules and doesn’t hurt you, he’ll live.”

  “Good. I love him, you know, so...” She sighs.

  Love him. There’s that word, the same one he used when talking about her.

  Fuck.

  “We’ll work through this, London. All of it,” I assure her.

  “I know.” Her voice is still sad. “We always do.”

  Emma looks as if she may fall apart. I pull her into a hug.

  “Love you more, little princess.”

  “Love you both more,” she says before hanging up.

  I hold my wife and comfort her as I take comfort in her.

  She grabs my phone and scrolls through the notifications. “This is the least of our worries, Brody.”

  We both look through the news feed on all the push notifications I get from various media and social media outlets on the Syracuse area.

  Emma stops at one, the Carrier Dome. She zooms in and whispers, “Oh, my God.”

  “Love, stop looking at those horrendous videos. Focus on the fact that we still have London.”

  She holds the phone up and I see...him, Logan. Then I hear him demand, “Take a fucking knee.”

  “Look what he did, Brody, look.” She holds it up closer. “He’s trying to help not only her, but his community heal.”

  The door bursts open. “Dad, Mom, I’m trying to cook and there’s a problem.”

  Emma jumps up and hurries to the door as Lexington laughs.

  I look at the news feed for less than a second before hitting my recent calls list. He answers immediately.

  “Yeah?”

  “Hello works.” Fucker.

  “Things are a little fucking hectic here, Brody, and I’ve had enough shit from...”

  “Me. You’ve had enough shit from me,” I fill in the blanks as I sit back in the chair.

  “Yeah, actually, I’ve had enough shit from you. I’m not gonna kiss your ass. I don’t have fucking time for that. So again, yeah?”

  My eyes fall to the picture of Collin and it sparks a memory. A memory of when my own son was being an ass to him and how he handled it.

  “I’d like it if you’d assist Maddox and me in putting together a benefit concert for the families of those not as lucky as we were last evening.”

  “You want me to help you?” He laughs.

  “Yes, Logan, I would like you to come up with some ideas, maybe make an entire day of it. You could rally your team—”

  “Not my team anymore,” he interrupts. “But sure, whatever.”

  “Logan...” I begin.

  “Yeah?”

  “Thank you for getting her to safety. Thank you.”

  Silence.

  “Logan?” I say again.

  “Yeah?” he says, giving me less attitude than before, possibly because I’m giving him less.

  “Do not hurt her.”

  “I know, ’cause you’ll kill me,” he huffs.

  “I’d tell you I wouldn’t, but that would be a lie,” I tell him honestly.

  “Gotcha. Anything else?”

  “No.”

  “All right then.” I hear what I think is a door close, then it sounds as if the phone is being muffled. “Doctor will be in momentarily, Mitch.”

  “Is everything oaky? Mitch was the boy here, right?”

  “It’s fine, Brody. Everything is fine.”

  “It’s obvious at present moment we’re on the same team.”

  “Should be more than obvious. It’s gonna be like that for a long-ass time,” he says, and then I hear a door shut again. “I’m not gonna fucking hurt her, and I’m a little busy right now, so if you and I could bullshit our way through bonding another time, that would be great.”

  “I’m being sincere,” I assure him.

  “Great. Wonderful. I should feel privileged, I know. Grateful maybe?” He laughs maliciously. “But I’m not sure what to make of a man who looks at my father w
ith almost as much contempt as he looks at me.”

  Oh, for fuck’s sake. I sigh.

  “This plays out the way I’m seeing it, you and my old man are gonna need to get along. As much as you’re on London’s team, I’m on his.”

  There’s the muffled sound again and him saying, “Dad, here’s some coffee. Good shit, not the crap from the cafeteria.”

  “Did I see Mitch?” I hear Lucas’s voice.

  “Yeah,” Logan mumbles. “London still with Keeka?”

  “She stepped out,” Lucas tells him.

  “Well, with fucking who? She doesn’t need to be alone. What the hell—”

  “She’s with Tessa. This isn’t our first rodeo, Logan, okay?” Lucas seems a little stern with him.

  “Sorry, Dad,” he sighs.

  “What’s up with the earbud?” Lucas asks.

  “Oh fuck,” he mumbles. “You still there?” he says to me now.

  “Yes, I’m still here,” I tell him.

  “Dad, Brody wants you to give him a call. He’s thinking the two of you could put together a benefit show. Maybe throw in some football shit.”

  You little fucker.

  “Logan...”

  “Yeah?”

  Yeah? Is that all he can say? Had a fuck of a lot more to say to me earlier on video message.

  “I don’t recall asking for your father’s involvement.”

  I hear a door shut, then he speaks. “Doing my part, Brody. Now it’s on you. Gotta go.”

  The fucker hangs up...again.

  I stand and see Maddox at the door. He looks at me and shakes his head. “We doing a concert?”

  “Gotta do something to keep fucking busy.”

  “What’s your issue with Lucas?” he asks.

  “I was very fond of Collin,” I remind him.

  “Dad?”

  “Yeah?”

  What the fuck? Now I’m saying it!

  “Collin had less of a problem with Lucas than you seem to.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means, we’re going to throw one hell of a fundraiser, all of us, together. It means, you’re going to be forced to see that he is in fact a good man.”

  “I never said he wasn’t,” I defend myself.

  “If my wife can accept him, you need to, as well,” he tells me.

  “He’s just so fucking—”

  Maddox laughs. “Dad, it’s time to move on.”

  “So I keep hearing.”

  “While we are letting go of things, feel free to question me about keeping tabs on London.”

  “You asked him to watch her?” I don’t look at him.

  “I did,” he answers, sitting on the edge of the desk.

  I nod. “Any reason you wanted to push them together?”

  He nods. “Several. It would have happened regardless. I wanted him to know I wasn’t stepping back.”

  “Interesting approach,” I say. I’m not going to lie and tell him it was a good idea. “So, when he sent her a fake ID, how did you feel about that?”

  Maddox shrugs and looks down.

  “Maddox?”

  “She’s safer in a bar than private parties.”

  He’s still hiding something, so I repeat, “Maddox?”

  “I sent it.”

  “You what?”

  “Be angry with me all you want, but until the incident at Chaos happened, I believed it to be the right thing. Had the outcome been different...” He pauses.

  He’s upset with himself. Knowing my son, he’s beating himself up more than myself or anyone else could about it.

  “She’s fine,” I tell him.

  “Because of Logan Links. The same Logan Links who slashed tires and threatened every boy in school so they’d stay away from her.”

  “You’re kidding?” I gasp.

  “Dad, I don’t kid. Yes, Logan has always watched over her. I’m sure he questioned himself, but he did it out of care and concern. He also never stepped over any lines with her. And I know some of the teasing she has done to him, yet he controlled himself.”

  “She’s a kid,” I remind him.

  “I was getting backstage blowjobs at her age,” he reminds me.

  I was getting that and much more, I think, but I don’t say it out loud.

  “Dad.”

  I look back at him.

  “She’s going to be fine. She’s going to be fiercely protected. She’s going to be loved.”

  I nod, conceding to the truth in my son’s words.

  “And...” He smirks, standing up. “He’s going to have his hands full. She won’t put up with any nonsense. So, when you want to tear him up, think about that.”

  “You mind if I run Emma home to get...” I scratch my head, trying to come up with some bullshit excuse to leave for an hour.

  “Laid?” he asks. I look at him, seeing him shake his head. “Dad, I’m a married man; I know damn well what you’re going to run Emma home for.”

  When we walk out and into the kitchen, I look at my wife. “Em, we need to run home for a little bit.”

  “I wanna stay here,” Lexington whines.

  “Sounds good.” I kiss her head then grab Emma’s hand, pulling her behind me to the back door. “I need you.”

  “I need you, too.”

  Winds of Change

  Logan

  I watched over Keeka and London as they slept curled up together for the majority of the evening and morning. I spent some time holding Angel, and other times, I sat in the hallway while Tessa and London try to help Keeka breastfeed, hoping she will bond with her.

  This is one of those times.

  Dad walks up to me and hands me a water. “You need sleep.”

  “What time is it?” I ask, digging my phone out of my pocket. It’s dead.

  “Almost eight in the morning,” he answers, looking at me with concern in his eyes.

  “I’m fine, really.” I open the water and chug it down.

  “How about you and I go grab a new truck?”

  “SUV,” I tell him.

  “Whatever you want, but four-wheel drive...and maybe a bumper grill?” he jokes.

  I look in the room while Dad calls his friend at the Chevy dealership. She’s asleep.

  “Not sure I want to leave,” I tell him.

  “Joe’s gonna meet us. Shouldn’t take long.” He looks in the room, too. “Four sleeping girls. Angel just ate an hour ago, so we’re good for at least two hours.”

  §

  We take a cab because Dad insists we’re getting a vehicle today. He ends up being right.

  I choose a Black Chevy Tahoe, RST, 6.2 liter, V8, ten speed automatic transmission with leather interior and chromed the fuck out.

  Dad got a new ride, too. Same thing in navy. His will take a couple days to get here. Mine we drive out of the showroom.

  I make him swing by Babies “R” Us to grab some shit. It’s cool he’s with me. My dad knows more about baby shit than any man would admit. Any man but him.

  He was born to be a dad. May sound odd, but he just was.

  There is no shortage of help finding shit. Seems like every sales girl in the place is up our asses. Yes, ours. My dad loves one woman, but he comes off as a flirt. I tell him so, and he looks at me like I’m insane.

  We get a breast pump that he asked the sales person about. Embarrassing as hell, but it is what it is. And we get a bunch of onesie things, blankets to “swaddle,” and some clothes that he is being really fucking weird about, holding shit up and telling me it’s cute or adorable. I mean, yeah, they are, but seriously? Shut the fuck up already.

  We also got a car seat, a stroller, a portable crib, and a bassinet. Tons of shit. Hell, we have to fold the third row down because we have so much. Wipe warmers, diapers, pacifiers—he was a fucking mad man in that store.

  “You think we have enough?” I joke as we get in the SUV.

  He laughs. “Hell no.”

  When we get to the hospital, the gi
rls are just waking up.

  “Have you even slept?” London asks.

  “Little bit,” I say, kissing the top of her head, then doing the same to Keeka.

  “You’re so full of it,” London says, getting up.

  “Come take a ride with me?” I ask.

  “But...” she begins protesting, just like Dad said she would when I told him I was going to have her come with me to take everything to the apartment building he says is livable. I haven’t seen it yet.

  “Just an hour. Two tops.” I tell her.

  “We’ll stay here with Keeka and Angel,” Dad tells her. “When you get back—”

  “You named my baby?” Keeka asks Dad.

  Not going to lie; her calling the baby hers is a monumental fucking moment.

  “Logan calls her Angel,” Dad basically throws me under the bus.

  “Looks like one.” I go to pull my hat down, slightly embarrassed, and London gives me a sweet smile. “Whatever,” I scoff. “She needs a name. I expect her to have one when we get back.”

  London and I hold hands as we walk down the hall. On the elevator, we still hold hands, but as I lean against the wall, I pull her in front of me, wrapping my arms around her, hands still linked, and resting my chin on her head.

  Once outside, we cross the road to the parking garage, still fucking holding hands. I don’t want to let hers go. When I open the passenger door of the Tahoe, though, I have to.

  When I get in, I see she is looking behind her. Then she looks at me, then back again.

  “Did some shopping,” I state the obvious.

  “I see that,” she says as I reach around and buckle her up. “Thanks.”

  As I back out of the parking spot, I feel her watching me and glance over. “What?”

  “New ride?”

  I nod.

  “Nice.”

  I nod again.

  “Where are we going?”

  “My place,” I tell her, trying not to smile.

  “Are you staying at your old place?” I hear concern in her voice. Unwarranted.

  “Nope.”

  “You already have a new place?”

  “Yep.”

  She smacks me in the gut. “You had time to get a new place, yet not one message for me, Logan? Not one call?”

  “Nope.”

  I get another smack, this time harder and more deserving.